BLACKOUT

by Olivia Evans

  “Damn,” Krista exhaled. I knew exactly what she meant.

  “Behave,” I said under my breath. Gavin stood when we reached the table and wiped his hands down the front of his jeans. He looked nervous. I hadn’t really considered how he would feel about having a new person thrust into his life, especially considering how he and I met. It was something I’d thought about more times than I cared to admit. The idea of being out and having someone ask how we met was not a question either of us would be too keen to answer.

  “Hey,” Gavin said, his gaze sweeping over me. “You look beautiful.”

  I tucked my chin and smiled. “Thanks. You too.” Jesus Christ, I thought, internally facepalming. I was acting like a damn teenager, and Krista was never going to let me live this down. I cleared my throat and cut my eyes to Krista, who was clearly enjoying herself far too much.

  “Gavin, this is Krista. Krista, Gavin.” The two shook hands and exchanged greetings before taking their places around the small table.

  “Lonna’s told me a lot about you,” Gavin said, clearly not realizing he was going to make things a million times worse for me when I got home.

  “I’m not surprised,” Krista laughed. “She never shuts up.” Yup. She was going to give me hell for never talking about Gavin. At least she was nice enough to wait to call me out when he wasn’t around.

  Gavin glanced at me, and if I didn’t know better, he looked almost apologetic. Maybe he was better at picking up on things than I gave him credit for. “Lonna mentioned you liked baseball. Do you prefer college or pro?”

  Krista shrugged. “I prefer beer. That’s what makes the whole experience tolerable. So, in that spirit, go Braves!”

  Gavin laughed. “Do you go often?”

  “Some,” Krista answered, taking a sip from the water the waitress had placed in front of her. “My cousin Ethan, our other roommate, has season tickets, so he’s constantly trying to drag Lonna or me to go with him.”

  “My boss, the one who gave me the tickets for tonight, has a set of four as well. He’s always offering them to the staff, but it’s so damn hot, people rarely take them. Maybe I should try the whole beer-drinking thing.”

  Krista and I exchanged a look, both wondering if he was being truthful about the origin of the show tickets. “So, you turned down the Braves tickets but accepted the show tickets?”

  Gavin cupped the back of his neck and grinned. “Lonna never seemed all that enthusiastic when she talked about baseball. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to ask her out, and when he offered up his tickets to The Wizard of Oz, I thought it was the perfect opportunity. There’s no pressure when the tickets are free.”

  Krista let out a peal of laughter and slapped her hand on the table. “I’ve never been so right and so wrong at the same time in my life. I kind of like it.”

  “What?” Gavin asked, a confused smile on his face as he looked from me, with my face in my hands, to Krista, who was grinning from ear to ear.

  “I honestly thought you were full of shit about the tickets being from your boss. I told her you were just using that angle so she wouldn’t feel the pressure of being asked on a preplanned date. I was right, and I was wrong. Apparently, they are your boss’s tickets, but you totally used the angle I thought you were. Right and wrong. Also, bravo on being a man and admitting it.” Krista looked at me as I peeked through my fingers. “I like him.”

  “I’m so glad you approve,” I muttered, my cheeks on fire.

  “I’m also late,” Krista added, jumping to her feet. She turned to Gavin and leaned down, giving him a friendly hug. “It was great to meet you. Let’s go sit in the sun and drink beer one day. I’ll even share the salty-ass popcorn.”

  “Bye, Krista,” I chuckled, giving her a quick hug before she disappeared around the corner. Once we were alone, I let out a long breath. “So…that was Krista.”

  “She seems fun.”

  “She is. We always have a great time together. Just watch her with the baseball beer. She’ll drink you under the table. It’s been a running joke between Ethan and me about when we thought she might end up in the Guinness Book of World Records.”

  “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much competition for her. I’m not a big drinker. When I used to race, I had to be careful about everything I put in my body. I guess it just kind of stuck with me.”

  I raised a brow. “I didn’t realize a large slice of cake numerous times a week was part of an athlete’s strict diet. I could have been running marathons all this time had I known!”

  “I didn’t say I was perfect,” Gavin grinned. “Besides, the company makes the cake totally worth it.”

  Flutters rippled through my stomach, and my cheeks were beginning to ache from the smile that refused to leave my face. “I didn’t mean to be a bad influence on you, but I’m not sorry.”

  “Neither am I.” Gavin looked at his watch and stood, extending his hand. “Are you ready?”

  I dipped my chin and slipped my hand in his. Just like the other night, it caused a rush of nervous energy to course through me. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but his question felt like it was about so much more than going to a show. Two friends going to see a show, I reminded myself before looking at our hands. Two friends who hold hands, I amended. I was so in over my head.

  Our hands remained clasped in the cab and only briefly separated while he helped me from the back seat. Hand in hand, we walked into the theater and to the orchestra-level, center-stage seats. “Whoa,” I whispered. “These seats are amazing.”

  “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting this,” Gavin agreed with a small laugh.

  “Thank you for tonight,” I said, suddenly feeling shy. “I’m really glad you asked.”

  Gavin gave my hand a light squeeze. “I’m glad I did too. If…if any of this makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. We haven’t talked about a lot of things, but I think we both understand there are certain situations that might be difficult.”

  A lump swelled in my throat, and I thought I might choke. I didn’t want to talk about that, not when everything about the evening had been perfect. Anxiety coiled in me at the thought of telling Gavin what happened that night. How foolish and reckless I’d been. It wasn’t my fault, I whispered to myself. Maybe if I said it enough, I might actually start to believe it.

  “Okay.” I cleared my throat, wanting to brush away the sudden heaviness that had settled over us. “Did you know this is my favorite play?”

  Gavin smiled, his eyes narrowed. “Are you messing with me?”

  “No!” I swore, lowering my voice when a few people glanced my way. I rolled my eyes. The show didn’t start for another ten minutes. It wasn’t my fault they chose to communicate with people with their faces stuck in their phones. I had a handsome, attentive man next to me whom I’d much rather kill time with. “When I was a kid, I was in theater. The Wizard of Oz was always my favorite.”

  “Did you play Dorothy?”

  I giggled. “I was a Munchkin.”

  “I’d pay good money to see that.”

  “I’ll show you one day. I have a ton of pictures. There might even be an old VHS somewhere. I know most people would be embarrassed, but I don’t care. It was a lot of fun. I can’t believe I didn’t even realize it was in town…” I let the rest of my words hang in the air. I didn’t know the show was in town because I’d been living in a bubble for months.

  “I think my favorite is Les Misérables.”

  “Really?” It was my turn to be surprised. “That’s a pretty emotional story.”

  “It is. I guess I just connect with a lot of the characters. Those who wish to see justice done at any cost, and those who only want a second chance at life. Things are never just black-and-white. There’s always a gray area.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded, my mind drifting to the many times I’d had the same thought. The lights flashed a warning, and people bustled about, shutting off their phones and getting comfortable in their seats. Over the next f
ew hours, the rest of the world and all its troubles melted away. I allowed myself to be swept along by the magic of my favorite show, my heart beating a little faster each time I looked at Gavin. His eyes held the same light I was certain mine reflected. I was on a date. Whether it had started out that way or not didn’t matter. Sitting in that theater next to Gavin with my hand clasped in his, I knew it to be true. I had no idea where things between us would go from here, but I wasn’t going to think about that tonight. Tonight, I was going to enjoy my date.

  “That was amazing. Thank you so much for bringing me,” I said as we exited the theater.

  “I’m glad you had fun. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Do you want to share a cab?’ Gavin asked, stepping closer to the curb. I hesitated then internally rolled my eyes. I’d just agreed to go on another date with him. There really was no point in prolonging him not knowing where I lived.

  “Sure.”

  The cab slowed to a stop in front of my building, and Gavin told the driver to give him a minute before helping me out of the car. We stood there for a moment, and for the first time, I felt that familiar awkwardness that came at the end of the date when neither was sure what to do next. Gavin stepped closer and brushed his thumb across my cheek.

  “I really want to kiss you, but I’m not sure if that’s something either of us is ready for.”

  I swallowed and drew in a shallow breath. “I guess there’s really only one way to find out.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I let out a small laugh. “No. But I want to try anyway.”

  Gavin slid his hand from my face to my neck, letting his fingers slip under my hair. A thousand butterflies beat their wings inside my body when Gavin’s lips touched mine. My eyes fell shut, and my hands rose to his shirt, balling the material in my fists. Gavin’s other hand slid to my waist, his fingers curling into my hip as he moved his lips against mine. His touch was soft and chaste yet full of promise. When he pulled away, I was breathless.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed, a smile stretched across my face. “You?”

  Gavin laughed. “Definitely.” His eyes shifted to the cab driver, who looked like his patience was running out. “I better go. I’ll call you soon.”

  I nodded and backed toward the building, lifting my hand in a small wave as the cab pulled away from the curb. With my smile in place, I turned for the building, jumping when I heard a familiar voice.

  “That looked like a lot more than just friends to me.”

  “Ethan,” I gasped, my hand flying to my heart. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  Ethan pushed off the wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You seemed a little too preoccupied to notice much of anything.”

  I frowned. “Were you watching me?”

  “It was kind of hard to miss. You were standing right in the middle of the sidewalk. I just got home from the Braves game. I wasn’t standing out here waiting for you or anything. I didn’t even know you were going out.”

  I licked my lips and moved toward the lobby doors, Ethan falling into step beside me. “It was a last-minute thing.”

  “Well, for last minute, you look really nice.”

  I looked down at my outfit then to Ethan and smiled. “Thanks.”

  “I’m assuming this wasn’t a trip to Lucky’s.”

  “No. We went to the theater. The Wizard of Oz is playing.”

  Ethan let out a low whistle and pressed the button for our floor once inside the elevator. “That guy swung for the fences, huh? Did he take you to The Vortex for burgers, too?”

  I couldn’t decide if Ethan was impressed or being a sarcastic asshole. Either way, I’d had a wonderful night and had no interest in getting into an argument.

  “We’re not Vortex ready,” I said, bumping my shoulder with Ethan’s. “And he didn’t even know Oz was my favorite show. That was just pure luck on his part.”

  “You look happy. I haven’t seen that smile in a long time. I still have reservations, but I’m trying to do like you asked and trust you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “That being said, if he fucks up, all bets are off.”

  I rolled my eyes as we walked to the apartment, a soft smile on my lips. “Of course they are. How was the game?”

  Ethan groaned and kicked off his shoes. “Let me grab a beer, and I’ll turn on SportsCenter. I’m sure they’re playing the game highlights on repeat like a bloopers reel.”

  I winced. “Ouch. That bad?”

  “You have no idea. You should come with me to the next night game. Misery loves company and all that.”

  “That would be fun,” Krista said, coming from down the hall. “We could go as a group.”

  “Who could go as a group?” Ethan asked, throwing his arm over the back of the couch and kicking up his feet on the coffee table as he popped open a beer.

  Krista shrugged. “Me, you, Lonna, Gavin, Brett, that girl you’ve been seeing. We could catch a game then eat at The Vortex. It’ll be fun.”

  “Gavin?” Ethan asked, his eyes bouncing between Krista and me. “You say that like you know the guy or something.”

  “I met him today.” Krista smiled. “He’s got my stamp of approval.”

  Ethan took a long pull from his beer, his eyes locked on the television screen. “Yeah, sure. Why not.” The atmosphere in the room changed, and I shifted my weight. Much like earlier, I couldn’t get a clear read on Ethan’s demeanor. I wasn’t sure if he was upset that Krista had met Gavin, or if he was just pissed about the idea of Gavin in general. After a few minutes of painful bloopers from the Braves game, I stood.

  “Well, I’m off to bed. Night, guys.”

  “Night,” Ethan and Krista said in unison before turning their attention back to the television. As I lay in bed, waiting for sleep, I thought about how my relationship with Gavin had begun to change. I touched the tips of my fingers to my lips and let out a small sigh. We were definitely not in Kansas anymore.

  “This is bullshit!”

  I jumped at Bat’s angry outburst, my eyes wide as I looked from Bat to Melissa. My gaze moved to Gavin, who sat with his jaw set and his hands balled into tight fists. Others were still coming into the room, their posture wary as they took in Bat’s wild eyes, bloodshot from the angry tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “We won’t give up,” Melissa whispered, stroking Bat’s cheek. I swallowed and moved to my seat, my eyes finding Gavin once more. This time, he caught my gaze, and a hint of the tension in his jaw relaxed.

  “I can’t do this. I can’t be here tonight. I’ve got to go.” Bat stood, and I wasn’t sure why, but I did the same. I didn’t know Bat, not in a way that would make me an option for any type of comfort, but there was something about Bat’s desperate need to flee that I understood.

  “Care for any company?” I asked, causing everyone in the group to gape at me. I swallowed and shrugged. I didn’t need to explain myself; there wasn’t a single person in that room who shouldn’t get it.

  “Come on, Bat,” Gavin said, putting his arm around her shoulders. His face contorted with pain when she flinched. He dropped his arm and stepped back, giving her the space she needed.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked.

  Bat dropped her chin to her chest. “I just want to go home.”

  “Okay. Maybe I can come with you and we can order a pizza. Would that be all right?”

  Bat looked from me to Gavin, her face crumpling. “Gavin, will you come too? I don’t want the two of us walking alone.”

  “Of course. Give me a second.” Gavin pulled Melissa to the side, and after a hushed conversation, he nodded toward the door. “Let’s go.”

  We walked the several blocks to the bus stop in silence. Gavin offered to get a cab, but Bat refused, preferring the bus instead. She lived in a small apartment building just outside Little Five Points. It was an older structure with worn bricks and air
-conditioning units hanging out the windows. Bars covered some windows, and a rusty fire escape zigzagged its way to the roof. Car horns blared, and people loitered on the sidewalks with paper bags of booze and cigarettes dangling from their fingertips. I understood why Bat had not wanted to walk alone. I had no idea how she ever walked home by herself.

  The three of us climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, sweat beading on my forehead when we reached her apartment. Bat waved her arm around the room and tossed her keys on the table. “Just sit anywhere. I’ll grab the takeout menus.”

  I looked around the apartment. It was a small one-bedroom with several of the walls constructed of exposed bricks. Large, abstract paintings in angry slashes of reds, blues, blacks, and yellows created a kind of peaceful chaos. The furniture, a mishmash of patterns and colors, was scattered around the living room, with cozy-looking blankets draped over the backs. A small dining table sat next to the open kitchen, the old appliances creating a calming hum of white noise in the background.

  “What does Bat do?” I whispered, pulling off my shoes and moving to the couch.

  Gavin waved his hand toward the paintings. “Those.”

  “Wow. They’re beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” Bat said, dropping a stack of takeout menus on the coffee table. “You guys don’t have to stay, but I’m sure you’re going to anyway. So, we might as well eat.”

  After several minutes of debate, we settled on pizza, and Gavin called in the order. Bat disappeared into the kitchen, returning with three beers. She set two on the table before twisting the top from her own and falling into the chair and closing her eyes. She looked exhausted but also wired, like she wanted nothing more than to pass out, but her body and mind wouldn’t allow her the escape. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know if I should ask if she wanted to talk or just sit with her in silent camaraderie. Thankfully, Bat decided for me.