BLACKOUT

by Olivia Evans

  My stomach flipped, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face as I pulled out my phone and opened my photos. After a second, I turned the phone toward Gavin, feeling a sense of satisfaction when I saw his eyes widen. In the photo were my dad and me in front of his 1970 candy-apple-red Dodge Challenger in mint condition. He’d restored it one hundred percent to its original glory. I sometimes wondered if he loved that car more than the rest of us.

  “My dad knows a lot of shit about working on cars. I’ll have to take you to meet him and his baby one day.”

  “I’d really like that,” Gavin said, pulling my suitcase from me with one hand while using his other to pull me against his chest. “Hi.”

  My skin heated, and my body relaxed as I inhaled his scent. “Hi.”

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” There wasn’t much confidence in my voice. Gavin heard it—or the lack thereof.

  “Everything is going to be great. And if at any time it gets to be too much and you want to leave, all you have to do is say the word. I’ve already warned them there might be a chance I’ll be called back to the university, so I have an exit plan in place.”

  My chest tightened, and I felt the familiar sting of tears. “You would do that for me? Leave your family you haven’t seen in months just because I’m uncomfortable?”

  Gavin tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned forward. His eyes were soft and held a depth of emotion I was in no way ready to think about. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. “I’ve already told you once, I don’t think there’s much of anything I wouldn’t do for you, Lonna.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before wrapping me in a warm hug. We stayed that way for a moment, lost in the peace of our embrace. “We better get going,” he finally said, sounding as disappointed as I felt.

  “I made a playlist,” I said in response, slipping onto the smooth black leather when he held the door open for me. The inside had that new car smell mixed with his cologne, and it took everything in me to keep my eyes from rolling back in pleasure. He tossed my suitcase in the trunk before sliding behind the wheel. I’d always found Gavin attractive, but in the words of Krista, Gavin behind the wheel of a muscle car was “next level.”

  “Oldies?” he asked with a smile.

  “Not this time. I thought we’d listen to some of my favorites. There’s going to be a lot of 90s grunge music. I feel like it’s only fair to warn you. I would give anything to have been in my twenties when Nirvana was at their peak.”

  “Seriously? I’m having a hard time picturing you in flannel and Doc Martens.”

  I smirked. It felt weird. I hadn’t smirked in a really long time. “I went through a really rebellious phase as a teenager. And by rebellious, I mean I was a total poser who just acted like I was rebelling, while doing everything my parents told me to do. God, I was so lame.” I laughed at the memory of the first time I tried to be a badass with my parents. It lasted all of two seconds. I wasn’t a badass. I guess I made up for my obedience in high school when I got to college and found myself doing crazy shit all the time.

  Gavin smiled and shook his head. “I never really had a rebellious phase. I mean, don’t get me wrong—I was far from a saint. I drank and smoked a little weed in high school, but once I got to college, everything was about track. I rarely drank, and I didn’t dare do drugs because of the possibility of random drug tests. I was pretty boring, to be honest. Talk about lame,” he chuckled.

  “There’s nothing lame about you,” I said, meaning every word. I had met so many jocks in college who partied all the time and didn’t give a damn about drug tests. If anything, I had even more respect for him, knowing he took his talent seriously. I hated that his career had been cut short when so many others who didn’t appreciate their gifts took them for granted.

  “Have your parents left?” Gavin asked, clearly changing the subject.

  “Yeah, they left two days ago. I had to turn off my Facebook notifications because some of the pictures were getting uncomfortable.” When I’d told my parents I’d be going out of town for Thanksgiving, they weren’t nearly as disappointed as I’d expected. As a matter of fact, they’d already booked a week-long cruise to the Bahamas in the hope I’d be spending the holiday with Krista and her family. I didn’t bother to correct them. It just made things easier. I’d tell them later, once they’d had the chance to meet Gavin.

  “Well, that sounds part intriguing and part traumatizing.”

  “Exactly.”

  We spent the next three and a half hours talking about everything, from music to our favorite childhood toys. It was strange how easy it was to talk about yourself in a car on a road trip. Maybe it was the music in the background, or the fact that we were side by side and weren’t forced to stare at each other the entire time. Whatever it was, it caused the tension I’d felt the night before to melt away with the fading sun.

  “Are you up for grabbing dinner before we head to my parents’, or would you like to go straight there?”

  “Are we there?” I asked, my surprise evident.

  “Yeah. Well, almost. We’re in Savannah. My parents live on Tybee Island, which is about twenty miles from here. I thought I could show you a few of my favorite spots on River Street.”

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  I was completely enamored of the city around me as we drove through Savannah. The houses had wide front porches and large windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. Everything had that deep, Gone with the Wind southern feel, nestled right in the middle of a city. When we turned onto River Street, I fell in love. The cobblestone street stretched alongside the river. Shops lined the sidewalks, old and new. People milled around, from kids to the elderly and the sober to the super drunk. There was a little bit of everything.

  We parked in one of the lots and walked down the street. Music blared from speakers on decks of the restaurants and bars along the river. People wore beads, silly hats, and carried what looked like gallon-sized drinks. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was in New Orleans,” I joked.

  “You should see this place during St. Patrick’s Day. They used to turn the river green when I was a kid. It definitely had a Mardi Gras feel. This is surprisingly tame.”

  “Wow.”

  Gavin’s hand brushed against mine before he wove our fingers together and squeezed. The gesture made me feel like a teenager, but in that awesome kind of way. I had never been one for public displays of affection, but there was something innocently intimate about holding hands that I loved.

  “Is this okay?” he asked, slowing his steps in front of a large building with the name Vic’s on the River written on a white awning.

  “Yeah. Whatever you want is fine with me.”

  “They have a nice wine list. I thought you might want a glass to calm your nerves before you get overwhelmed by my mom and sister. They can be a little…much.”

  I tightened my hand around his, and I felt the blood drain from my face. “What do you mean?”

  Gavin laughed at my expression. “I just mean they’re really excited to meet you. You might not be prepared for their level of attention.” When I didn’t respond, he pulled me against his chest and caressed my cheek with his hand. “I’ll be right there with you. I promise everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

  The feel of his skin and the warmth of his body caused me to sink into his touch. “I’m nervous.”

  “I know you are. It’s okay. They’re going to love you, and I hope you feel the same way about them. In the meantime,” he said, pulling me toward the restaurant, “let’s eat and get you that glass of wine.”

  Over dinner, he told me stories about growing up on the beach. He talked about his parents and sister, and by the time the check arrived, I was less nervous about meeting them. I felt like I knew them, at least a little bit. We spent some time window-shopping before his phone beeped. One look at his face and I knew it must have been his sister. />
  “She said she’s going to report my car stolen if we don’t come home right now.”

  I laughed. “She wouldn’t dare. Would she?”

  “Let’s not find out,” Gavin said with a small chuckle. “You ready for this?”

  With a deep breath, I nodded and accepted his hand. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I wasn’t prepared for the sight of Gavin’s house. When he said he grew up on the beach, I didn’t think he meant it in such a literal sense. The house sat steps from the sandy shore. It stood three stories tall, its wooden structure painted light blue. The top two floors had bright white porches that stretched the length of the house, and there seemed to be more windows than wood. It was breathtaking.

  “This is beautiful.” It was nothing like the modest home I grew up in. Not that I’d ever wanted for anything growing up, but for the first time, it really hit me that Gavin came from money. It should have been obvious from the house he owned in Atlanta, the car, and his uncle’s real estate.

  “It was my grandmother’s. When my mom became pregnant with me, my grandmother gave them the house and moved to a retirement village. She wanted us to grow up in the same house where she’d raised her family. Real estate agents come by here all the time trying to convince them to sell, but my parents never will. They’ll do what Grandmother did when the time comes.”

  “They’ll give it to you?”

  Gavin shrugged. “Or my sister. Whichever one of us wants it. I love living in Atlanta. I don’t know if I’d want to move back here. I guess it will depend on what the future holds.”

  Just like the day at Gavin’s house, when I pictured myself spending lazy evenings with him on his back porch watching fireflies dance through the air, I saw an image that caused my breath to still. I saw myself sitting on the second-story balcony of his childhood home in one of those huge rocking chairs with Gavin next to me. But that wasn’t what sent goose bumps across my skin and warmth through my chest. It was the image of a fat-cheeked baby with soft brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  “Lonna?”

  I jumped at the sound of Gavin’s voice and clasped my shaking hands together. When I turned to face him, I saw his brows were drawn together. “Are you okay? I swear they won’t bite. But if you’d rather stay in a hotel, I can get us a room. With separate beds, of course.”

  I let out a nervous laugh and shook my head. “I’m fine. I swear.” I’m just over here imagining us married with a baby, I thought to myself. No way in hell was I ever confessing that.

  “Well, let’s get settled. Later, we can take a walk on the beach if you want.”

  “I want,” I answered with a smile.

  Gavin grabbed my small suitcase and flung a large duffle bag over his shoulder before leading the way to an exterior staircase up to the second floor. All the lights were on, and the faint sounds of music could be heard from outside. Just before we walked through the front door, Gavin leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. It caused a feeling of calm to wash over me. Once inside, I took a moment to look around the open living area. The glossy wood floors were a beautiful mix of dark and light colors. The bright white walls were covered in warm-colored paintings and wooden decorations. I hadn’t thought it was possible to make white walls feel anything but cold and stark, but I’d been wrong. A large brick fireplace was the centerpiece of the room. Its massive mantel, made from the same materials as the floors, was cluttered with family photos.

  “Gavin!” a female voice screamed, feet pounding against the floors as she ran across the room and threw herself into his arms. Gavin accepted her embrace and twirled her around once before setting her back on her feet. I thought she would say something more, but she immediately let go and turned her attention to me. I was taken off guard when she approached me with the same enthusiasm as she had Gavin. “Lonna, I’m so happy to finally meet you,” she said before wrapping me in a smothering hug.

  “Wren,” another voice chastised, one I assumed belonged to Gavin’s mother.

  I returned Wren’s hug, even though I was overwhelmed by the sudden rush of affection. I tried my best to remind myself she was Gavin’s sister and just happy to meet me, but another part of me, a part of me that was new and skittish, found it hard to breathe in a panicked sort of way. Gavin noticed.

  “Wren,” he said in a gentle but firm voice. “Give her a second.”

  Wren stepped back and bit her lip, her body language as apologetic as the expression on her face. I felt sick. All she’d wanted to do was greet me in a way I would have loved eight months ago. In a way that would have made me feel accepted and loved. I hated I didn’t feel that way anymore. I hated the way such a simple gesture could turn what had been an amazing trip into a borderline panic attack. I squared my shoulders and pulled in a deep breath before turning to Gavin.

  “It’s fine.” I looked at Wren and stepped forward, offering her a tentative hug. It was awkward with the tension in the air, but I was going to do everything in my power to make the best of it. “Gavin has told me so much about you. I’m glad we’re finally able to meet.”

  Wren’s smile was blinding. She looked so much like Gavin, it was unsettling, yet calming. I couldn’t explain it. “Sorry,” she said. “You’re just the first girl Gavin has brought home since prom. I thought he was gay at first, but then he never brought any guys home either. I was beginning to think he was asexual. Thank god I was wrong.”

  “Wren, are you drunk?” Gavin asked, his eyes wide and his cheeks flaming red. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. I was unsuccessful.

  Wren shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

  “She’s had nearly half a bottle of wine with your mother. She’s most definitely drunk.”

  I turned toward the sound of the man’s voice, and my mouth went dry. He was tall like Gavin, with wide shoulders, and his sandy blond hair streaked with white and gray. Laugh lines crinkled around his eyes and mouth, his tanned skin a stark contrast to his beautiful white smile. It was exactly how I imagined Gavin would look when he was older, minus the tan, of course. He really did need more sun.

  “You’re kind of ogling my dad,” Wren whispered, her words filled with laughter.

  I blanched. “No,” was all I could say.

  Wren giggled. “It’s okay. At least you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  I couldn’t even look at her. She had one hundred percent called me out. I cut my eyes in her direction and smiled, hoping she would drop the subject. Thankfully, she did. We were going to get along just fine.

  “Lonna, this is my dad, Jason. Dad, this is Lonna.” Jason reached out and pulled me into a hug.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Lonna. We’re so happy to have you.” A woman peeked around from behind Jason, her smile easy and loose from the wine she and Wren had drunk. “This is my wife, Lisa. Lisa, this is Lonna.”

  Lisa stepped forward, and just like her daughter and husband, she wrapped me in a hug. Apparently, the Lewises were huggers. “I’m so glad you were able to come. We’re delighted to have you.”

  “Thank you for inviting me to your home. It’s so beautiful.”

  “Why don’t you two go upstairs and get settled, then we can chat more,” Jason said, his eyes trained on Gavin. I wasn’t sure what had passed between them, but I was grateful for the interruption. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel comfortable with his family; I just needed a moment to gather myself.

  “Come on,” Gavin said, placing his hand on the small of my back. “Let me show you to your room.”

  I smiled at his family and let Gavin lead me up the stairs to the top floor. We walked down a long hall, and it was difficult not to linger so I could look at all the photos on the walls. We came to a stop at the end of the hall, and Gavin opened the door.

  “You have the best view on this floor.”

  I looked around the room, and my mouth fell open. The wall facing the beach looked to be made almost entirely of glass.
The only break in the clear view was the frame around the glass door that opened to the porch. The walls were white, and the wooden floors matched those downstairs. A four-poster bed sat against one of the walls. There was a closet and a door opening to a private bathroom, the claw-foot tub visible from the faint glow of the bathroom night-light.

  “Holy crap. This is incredible.”

  “I fought with my parents a lot growing up about not being able to have this room. They eventually swayed me when I was about thirteen by reminding me their bedroom was directly below and I would likely need therapy if I took it.”

  I looked at the floor, my eyes wide when it dawned on me what he meant. “Do they still have the room below?” The last thing I wanted was to hear Gavin’s parents having sex. There were plenty of uncomfortable things already about this weekend; I didn’t need that added to the pile.

  Gavin laughed. “I’m pretty sure they were just messing with me, but it was enough to deter me from ever wanting to sleep in this room again. Just in case, though, there’s a white noise machine in the corner, and you can always open the door and let in the sounds of the ocean.”

  “That’s not funny,” I said when he winked. “Helpful, but not even a little funny.”

  “Why don’t you unpack and freshen up. You can change if you’d like. We’ll go chat with my parents for a bit, then I’ll take you for that walk on the beach.”

  “Okay.”

  “My room is two doors down on the left. When you’re ready to go downstairs, come find me there.”

  Gavin slipped out of the room, and I took a moment to close my eyes and pull in a deep breath. I set my suitcase on the bed and let out a small laugh when I saw the state of the contents. I grabbed my phone and typed a quick text to Krista that I’d made it and would fill her in later. Next, I put my clothes away before they got any more wrinkled than they already were. Once I’d washed my face and did a quick sniff test, I headed down the hall to Gavin’s room.