Before Ben

by Cynthia Eden

  Her breath eased out.

  His thumb slid tenderly over her lower lip, then fell back to his side.

  “You have a job, Ben. Clients—”

  “My assistant has cleared my schedule for the next few days. Don’t worry about my job. It’s covered.”

  Okay, but… “You have a life. You don’t want me and my problems busting in—”

  “I want you.” His gaze burned into hers. “Trust me on that. I. Want. You.”

  And I want you. Which was a major problem. Why not just admit it? “If I stay with you…we’ll wind up in bed together again.”

  Ben flashed his toe-curling smile. “We didn’t make it to the bed last time.”

  A sharp rap pounded at the door. “We clear?” Eric called out.

  Ben ignored his brother’s call. His gaze remained locked on Courtney. “Stay with me. The security team is still going over your place, trying to make sure there aren’t any other surveillance devices. You need a haven, and I can offer you that.”

  Tempting, but… “We’ll sleep together.” Even more tempting.

  “Only if that’s what you want.”

  He was exactly what she wanted. Hadn’t she proven that when she’d gone to him on the balcony? Ben had told her it was a no-strings arrangement, but the problem was that every time she was with him, Courtney could feel the strings. Could feel the pull to him. When all of this was over, Ben might be able to walk away without looking back, but could she?

  “I want you safe, Courtney. I will do anything to protect you, and I need you to trust me on that.”

  She did. “I’ll stay with you. One more night.” That would allow time for the team to finish up at her home, and hopefully, time for Cole to tell them exactly who they were after.

  Another rap at the door. “It’s my damn office!” Eric announced. “Did you forget that again?”

  “Come in.” Ben finally stepped away from Courtney. He headed to the window and stared out at the busy Atlanta street below them.

  Eric entered the room, his eyes narrowed and suspicious. “You two get everything all cleared up?”

  Ben’s body was tense. “Courtney knows she’s important, and she won’t make the mistake of ever saying otherwise.”

  Courtney rolled her eyes. “And Ben knows he’s got serious control issues that he has to work on.”

  Soft laughter came from Ben. “You really think I’m the one in control here, sweetheart?”

  “This is going to end so badly,” Eric muttered.

  Courtney frowned at him.

  Eric gave her what she suspected to be a fake smile. “It’s time for you to start the interview process.”

  Okay, what?

  Her confusion must have shown because Eric explained, “Standard procedure for a security case, I assure you. You’ll meet with Agent Julia Slate, and she’ll get basic background info. We’ll want to do research on close friends and former lovers. Make sure nothing suspicious pops at us.”

  She was supposed to give up a list of lovers? That sounded awkward as hell.

  “Simon is at the hospital. He’ll call us as soon as we’re clear to see Cole again. So, you can work with Julia, and we’ll let you know when we need to leave.” Eric glanced at his watch. “Julia should be here any—”

  Another knock at the door.

  “Always right on time.” He opened the door to reveal Julia—a small, almost delicate woman with dark caramel eyes and a wide smile.

  She looked friendly, approachable, and totally the opposite of the giant, glowering guy behind her.

  “This is Julia Slate,” Eric motioned to Julia. “And her partner, Rick Williams.”

  Rick grunted. His hair had been buzzed down low, and his football field shoulders rolled back.

  “This is Courtney McKenna,” Eric continued with a wave of his hand toward her. “Our new client. If you two could take her down to the conference area and begin the preliminary questions…”

  But Courtney looked back at Ben. “Are you coming?” Why did she want him close?

  Because he makes me feel safe. I’m in a building full of bodyguards and security personnel, but it’s the attorney who makes me feel better. What was up with that?

  He turned away from the window, but shook his head. “Don’t think you want me there while you’re going over details about your past relationships.” His hands flexed and clenched. “Trying to respect your privacy so you don’t have to tell me about the lucky assholes who were your lovers.”

  “Ben,” Eric’s voice held a distinct edge.

  Ben’s expression softened a bit as he gazed at Courtney. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

  Uncertainly, she headed toward Julia and Rick, but at the door, Courtney shot one more look back at Ben. He was still watching her.

  “I’ll be here,” he assured her again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  ***

  The door closed softly behind Courtney.

  Eric’s sigh was loud and long. “What in the hell are you doing?”

  “Trying to keep a friend safe.” Uh, what did it look like?

  His brother marched toward him. Stopped right in front of Ben. Jabbed a finger in his chest. “I see the way you look at her.”

  “And how’s that?”

  The finger jabbed again. “Like she’s the only thing you can see. Like you can’t take your eyes off her.”

  “I can see plenty of other things.” A pause. “Like your finger. So get it off my chest.”

  Eric yanked his finger—his whole hand—back and then crossed his arms. “Can you see that you are in way over your head? You’re not a bodyguard. You’re not a Wilde agent. You’re not even an intern here! You’re an attorney. You shouldn’t even be involved in this thing! You brought her to me, and I can take care of the rest. I’ll have Julia take point on Courtney’s protection detail, and Rick can make sure that she has a secondary cover, just in case. You don’t have to worry about Courtney. You can go back to your normal life, and I assure you, she’ll be safe.”

  “Didn’t you hear what I told Courtney?” Ben asked quietly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Oh, fuck.” Surprise—no, shock—flashed on Eric’s face. “Just how in to this woman are you?”

  Ben yanked at his collar, feeling as if the thing were too tight. “We’re friends, I told you that.”

  “Friends with benefits.”

  He rather preferred…friends who fucked. But…no, even that wasn’t right. Because it didn’t just feel like fucking.

  And, holy shit, did I really just have that thought?

  “I don’t want you hurt.” Eric’s voice was very, very serious.

  Ben clamped a hand over Eric’s shoulder. “Thanks, bro, but I doubt the woman is going to try anything particularly rough with me—”

  Eric growled. “You could become a target.” He’s using his Annoyed, Level Two voice. “The message on her wall said, ‘Stay away from him.’ If she doesn’t stay away, what do you think will happen?”

  Nothing had better happen to Courtney. Not now. Not ever.

  “Did you ever think that you could become a target? Huh? That you could be putting yourself at risk because you are getting involved in something that is way beyond your comfort zone?”

  “Don’t be too sure you know what makes me comfortable,” he responded. “You don’t know everything about me.” Just like he hadn’t known all the secrets his brother possessed.

  Eric exhaled. His tight expression and fierce gaze showed his frustration. “I want you safe. You’re my brother. You were hurt once before. When I saw you in that hospital room, that is the shit of nightmares.”

  Ben’s scars seemed to burn. He hadn’t talked much with Eric about that attack. Hadn’t talked to anyone. But the nightmares would come sometimes. Nightmares, memories…of being helpless. Of feeling his blood pumping out of him.

  Of feeling the hard slice of a blade cutting into skin and muscle.

  “You don’t n
eed to be put at risk. Not for a friend that I didn’t even know about until recently. Step back,” Eric urged him. “Put some distance between the two of you before it’s too late.”

  It’s already too late.

  “My team will keep her safe. Once we’ve closed the case, then you can swoop in again with Courtney.”

  Ben cocked his head as he studied his brother. “You got into the habit when we were kids.”

  Eric’s brow furrowed. “What habit?”

  “Protecting me. Always doing it. The same way you protected Piper her whole life.”

  Eric tensed.

  “You rushed to the rescue, trying to fight all our battles for us. Then you just…” Ben waved his hand to indicate the office. “You went and made protection your whole business, didn’t you? Man, you have to see that, if anyone is obsessed with control, it’s you.”

  His brother lifted an eyebrow.

  “I’m not backing off this. I’m not walking away. Not from her.” Ben held Eric’s gaze. “Whatever she needs, I’ll give it to her.”

  “And if you get caught in the cross-fire? What then?”

  “We have to find this jackass before that happens. We eliminate him, and we eliminate all the threats to Courtney.”

  “Why are you taking these risks for her?”

  “Because she’s worth it.” That was all he would say. And it was the stark truth. He was quickly coming to realize that Courtney was worth…everything.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I don’t have an ex who would want to stalk me.” Courtney shifted a bit in the chair. Her feet were flat on the floor. Her spine perfectly straight. Her hands folded in her lap. “I can give you names, but when you check them out, you’re going to see that there wasn’t any giant emotional attachment. The relationships ended, and we all moved on.”

  Julia lifted an eyebrow as she glanced at Rick.

  He remained silent, but a faint smile curled his lips.

  “What?” Courtney asked.

  Julia sighed. “You’re a divorce attorney, so I know you’ve seen just how ass-crazy people can get when emotions are involved. People cheat. People lust. They get obsessed. That crap happens constantly.”

  “Same shit, different day,” Rick rumbled.

  Courtney stiffened. “I know some relationships can certainly…deteriorate, but I don’t think—”

  “You don’t think any ex harbors an attachment for you? That some guy might be jonesing to get you back? Or that some man is pissed as all hell that you walked away?” Julia nodded. “Maybe you’re right. And in that case, the investigation will move quickly. But if you’re wrong, it’s our job to find out the truth for you.”

  What was she supposed to say? “The relationships didn’t last long. The involvement was…” Light? Brief? Superficial? God, this was hard. “I have trouble letting people get close, all right?” Always had, always would. She’d once heard a social worker say that he feared Courtney couldn’t properly attach to anyone. That her father’s abandonment after the accident had made her “emotionally stunted.”

  Fuck him. Her nostrils flared. “I haven’t been in love. No relationship lasted that long. Nothing progressed to that extent.”

  Julia and Rick shared another look. She didn’t like their looks. Her gaze darted to the door. Ben had said he wanted to give her privacy, but…

  I feel better when he’s here.

  “Just because you didn’t feel a connection,” Julia responded carefully, “it doesn’t mean the men didn’t. Sometimes, one person can love with her whole heart, but the other can feel absolutely nothing.”

  Julia’s expression didn’t waver. Her gaze remained direct. Yet Courtney caught the faintest hint of pain in the other woman’s voice.

  But then Julia cleared her throat and just straightened her shoulders. Her nostrils flared. “Let’s start with the most recent guy and work back from him.”

  Okay. Most recent. “Ben.”

  Julia blinked. Twice.

  “Ben’s the most recent,” Courtney added quickly. Super recent. Current. “After him, we’d need to go six months back. I dated an accountant named Kris Gregory. I think we were together for about a month.”

  Julia typed in something on her laptop.

  “Before that, it was, um, a teacher named Kevin Clarke.” He’d been sweet. The guy had loved kids. And—

  “How long were you with Kevin?” Julia asked.

  “About a month.”

  Julia’s fingers stilled a minute, then she went back to typing.

  “Ah, then it was…last year, I dated an architect named Antonio Flores.” Antonio with his big dreams. He’d wanted to transform the city.

  “How long were you with Antonio?”

  Courtney swiped her tongue across her lower lip. “Does the length really matter?” Jeez, she could see the pattern here herself, and, yes, she’d known what she was doing but admitting it out loud…

  “It gives us a sense of time. Lets us know how attached the man may or may not have gotten.”

  Frustration churned in her stomach. “I told you already. These relationships didn’t end in some big, dramatic split. Antonio and I went our separate ways after about—”

  “A month?” Rick asked, voice deep and quiet.

  Courtney nodded.

  Julia wasn’t typing anything. Her head tilted to the left as she assessed Courtney. “That your rule? You have a one-month rule with the guys you date?”

  Courtney swallowed. Not a rule so much but… “A month gives you time to date. You have time to get to know the person. You can have fun.” Courtney hoped her expression gave nothing away. “But after a month, things can start to get too serious. Too intense. You go from dating someone to being in a relationship. To having expectations…” Her words trailed away.

  “And you didn’t want that,” Julia concluded. “You have a time limit, and the guys know it.”

  It wasn’t like she told the dates about her rule. “It’s just better for everyone that way,” Courtney said, aware that her voice had gone too soft. “Too much of a commitment would lead to trouble. The kind of trouble I’ve seen in court. You’ll start to trust the guy after too long, and if you trust the wrong person…” Her heart ached. “You’re just let down.”

  Julia was staring at her with—with sympathy?

  Courtney glanced away.

  “Easier not to get hurt that way, huh?” Julia murmured. “If you don’t stay with them long enough to care, then it is easy to walk away.”

  “Easy for us both to walk away,” Courtney corrected quickly. “That’s why I said that no one would be harboring some crazy obsession for me. The relationships just didn’t last that long.”

  Julia shook her head. “They didn’t last long for you. But maybe when you walked, one of the guys wasn’t ready to let go.”

  “They were ready,” Courtney insisted. No one was playing for keeps. It wasn’t that deep. It wasn’t love. It had never been love.

  Julia started typing again. “Let’s continue.”

  ***

  Ben glared down at the city below. Courtney still wasn’t back. It had been over an hour. Just how many exes were there to talk about? And, hell, no, he hadn’t wanted to hear her discuss them. Any dumbass who’d been foolish enough to have her and let her go…

  She’s mine now.

  The thought was surprisingly savage and possessive, and he wasn’t usually possessive about many things in this world. Eric was the possessive one. Eric was the intense one. While Ben…

  He was supposed to be all about fun. Living life to the fullest. Seizing the moment and loving the hell out of every second. There were plenty of amazing women in the world, and he hadn’t wanted to settle down at this point.

  I mean, I’m not settling down. He and Courtney—they were…

  The door opened behind him. He glanced back, expecting to see his brother because, after all, this was Eric’s office. But his brother wasn’t there. Instead, Ben’s best frien
d—and his brother’s wife—poked her head inside.

  “He’s not here, right?” Piper loud-whispered. Her blonde hair brushed over her cheek. “Dennis said he was meeting with some of his agents, but I want to be extra sure.”

  Ben shook his head. “He’s not here.”

  “Thank goodness.” She hurried inside, shut the door, and then bounded toward him. He could practically feel the energy pouring off her.

  So, of course, Ben became immediately suspicious. After all, he’d known the woman since Pre-K. She’d been at his side for pretty much every bad—and good—moment in his life. That meant he could read her like a book. And when Piper got all excited like this, her body practically vibrating, her eyes wide, her lips trembling with a smile…it meant only one thing.

  His head cocked as he studied her. “Piper, you have a secret.”

  “I do!”

  He winced. Her voice had been loud. A Piper side-effect of excitement. Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “All right. You gonna tell me or are you gonna make me guess?”

  She gave a mocking laugh. “As if you could. This one is so going to—”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  Her jaw dropped. “What?”

  “That’s the secret. You’re pregnant, and you haven’t told Eric yet, and you’re trying to figure out how to share the news and you want me to help you.”

  “OhmyGod, how did you know?”

  Shock rooted him to the spot. He’d just been bullshitting her. Saying that all just to get a reaction out of—

  “Uh, Ben?”

  He staggered a little. “You’re…pregnant? Seriously?”

  Her smile was huge. “I’m pregnant!”

  He grabbed her and tackle-hugged her like only a best friend can. “I’m an uncle!”

  ***

  “May I talk to you just a moment longer?”

  Courtney paused at the conference room door. Rick had left a few moments before, and she’d been so eager to escape after him. Only it seemed the escaping would have to wait a bit longer. She pasted a smile on her lips as she turned back to Julia. “Of course.” Her hand waved vaguely in the air. “More questions?”

  “I don’t want to get in your personal business.”