Before Ben

by Cynthia Eden

  Her ankle turned, and she almost fell. Stupid freaking high heels. Truth be told, she hated heels. And she hated tight dresses. And she hated the blonde of her hair. She’d always enjoyed being a brunette, but Hayden had wanted her blonde.

  Just like Hayden had wanted her to have bigger breasts.

  And Hayden had wanted her to be at his beck and call.

  Hayden had driven her freaking insane. Was it any wonder that she’d cheated on him? Take that, fucking Hayden.

  He said he’d give her nothing. At first, that had sounded like the end of the world to her. The worst nightmare on earth. And that was why she’d gone running to Ben. She’d wanted him to fix everything. But…

  She kicked off her heels. Just left them on the sidewalk near her building. Or, technically, Hayden’s building. The condo she had there was his. Everything was his.

  She’d had nothing before, and she’d moved straight into a mansion. She could do it again. She was still young. She was smart. Most men were idiots, and she could work with that.

  Screw Hayden. She’d find someone richer, someone better. Someone—

  “Grab the bitch.”

  Hands yanked at her shoulders even as some kind of black hood was shoved over her head. A scream broke from her as someone else lifted her legs. Her bag fell to the ground. She squirmed and twisted but was only held tighter. They threw her into a vehicle—she heard the engine growling and the tires squealing.

  “He’ll pay for her,” a man grunted. “He’ll pay the friggin’ world to get her back.”

  Tears poured down her cheeks as they bound her hands and feet because these men—they were wrong. Her husband wouldn’t pay a dime to get her back. Hayden…his business wasn’t always legal. She’d known that going in. They’d even met—God, a lifetime ago—back when he’d still owned a few strip clubs. She’d been one of his dancers back in the day.

  He had enemies. The kind that liked to break legs and arms.

  “If he doesn’t pay, she dies.”

  No. Hayden wouldn’t pay! He wouldn’t pay for her. He’d think getting rid of her this way was an easy out. He wouldn’t pay and—

  And I’ll die.

  Chapter Fifteen

  She tip-toed out of the guest room again. This was becoming a habit. Slipping out of the room under the cover of darkness and going to look for Ben.

  Only…this time, she wasn’t looking for sex.

  She was worried about him.

  Courtney stilled in front of Ben’s closed bedroom door. Just slipping inside while he slept seemed stalkerish, but the man had a concussion. She needed to make certain he was all right. If she checked on him and saw that he was okay, then Courtney was sure she’d be able to get back to sleep.

  “He’s not in there.”

  OhmyGod.

  The voice—Ben’s voice—came from the darkness and scared the ever-loving hell out of her. She whirled around.

  He flipped on the lights. Ben was propped up against the kitchen bar. “I’m right here.” Clad in an old t-shirt and jeans, he watched her with a hooded gaze.

  “Don’t scare me like that again. In case you missed it, I have some stalker after me, and scaring me in the dark is not something that is going to help me right now.” Her heart was pounding frantically in her chest.

  “Sorry.” Ben inclined his head. “Just didn’t want you going in and finding an empty bed. Not while I was right here.”

  Okay. He was there. He looked…good. Normal. Sexy. “How’s your head?”

  “Fine.”

  She took a step toward him. Faltered. “How’s the concussion? I was worried about you, so I wanted to check and see how you were doing.”

  His fingers tapped on the bar. “Head’s fine. I’m fine. You can go back to bed, no worries needed.”

  His voice was off, and his expression was too tight. Courtney took another step in his direction. “Is something wrong?”

  “Kadi asked what I’d do if I had to choose between her and you.”

  Kadi was a pain in the ass. “I know we crossed, um, lines with our relationship—”

  He straightened. Headed toward her with a slow, almost predatory stride. “Is that what we crossed? Lines?”

  She had no idea what they’d crossed. “What did you tell your client?”

  He stopped in front of her. Stared down at her. For the life of her, Courtney could not read his expression. “That she could find another lawyer.” His hand cupped her cheek. “That’s the thing, you see. She can find another lawyer. I can get another client.” His lips pressed together. Then, after a moment, Ben rasped, “But I can’t find another you.”

  Why couldn’t she figure out his expression? “Ben?”

  “Piper told you that I punched some dumbass back in law school because of you. But you didn’t ask me why.”

  “Ah…why?” And where was this conversation going?

  “Because the dumbass in question said you’d gone down on him. Gavin Donally told the whole fucking group of guys around him that lie.”

  “What?” Then, immediately, as rage fueled her, she exclaimed, “I didn’t! That jerk asked me out, and I refused because—”

  “Because a prick like him would never be worthy of a girl like you.” His thumb brushed lightly over her chin. “I punched him because I was furious. Mad as hell at him for what he’d said about you. No one would talk about you that way.” His hand fell away from her. “That was the first time I knew that I was in trouble.”

  She missed his touch. “You’re not in trouble.”

  “Oh, I am.” Soft laughter that rumbled and had her leaning toward him. “I tried to fight the truth for a while. Dated other women. Moved the hell on. But the thing is…the other women weren’t you. And even when I supposedly moved on, I kept coming back to you.”

  “Ben?”

  “I wanted you for years. What did you say to me the other day? ‘One and done’ I think?”

  Her cheeks burned. “Don’t throw that back at me. There is no way that ‘one and done’ would ever work with you.” One time…and she’d wanted more. So much more.

  “It would never work with you, either, sweetheart. I knew that as soon as I met you. I knew you were a forever-kind-of-girl. Or at least, you were for me.”

  He could not be saying—

  “Sometimes you meet someone, and you know that person will change your life. You did that for me. I would look for you on campus, just because seeing you each day made me happy. After we graduated, I would look for you at court.”

  “You fought with me at court.”

  “And those fights are still helluva fun.” His lips curled. His eyes gleamed. Then…His smile faded. “You would never be one and done for me. I knew you…you would be the one.”

  He couldn’t be saying this. “No.” She shook her head. “You just feel badly for me because I had a shitty day. Well, your day was worse. You were the one who was hit because of me, and you don’t need to make me feel—”

  He kissed her. Leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

  You make me a feel a million things, Ben. Need churned inside of her. Lust. Desire. And…tenderness. Her body softened as she curled her arms around his neck. As she pulled him closer. As she wanted so much more from him.

  His mouth lifted. “I don’t feel badly for you. I want you. More than I’ve wanted anyone else. And I will never want another woman this way. Because there is only one Courtney McKenna.” A half-smile played at his lips as he looked down at her. “There’s only one you.”

  Her heart squeezed. He was staring at her as if she were some kind of prize. Some gift he’d been fortunate enough to find. No, he’s staring at me…like I’m everything.

  No one had ever looked at her that way. “I’m scared.” A hard truth from her. She was absolutely terrified of the way he made her feel. What if he changed his mind? Like Frank had done? What if he realized she wasn’t what he really wanted?

  If she let down her guard with him, if she let
him in…

  And he left…

  Because relationships always end. Isn’t that why you became a divorce attorney? One in two marriages end in divorce. You knew you’d have a steady client pool. Nothing lasts forever.

  “You don’t need to be scared with me, sweetheart. I’ll protect you from every threat.”

  What if he was the threat? The biggest one that she’d ever face?

  Julia had told her to grab life.

  She was holding tight to Ben right then. Holding him as close as she could. The dimpled smile was on his face. The one that he used to charm so easily, but she didn’t think he was trying to charm her. He wasn’t playing her.

  Ben lifted her into his arms.

  “Wait! Stop! You’re hurt—”

  “No, I’m not.”

  Uh, yes, he was. “Concussion?”

  He carried her to the wide bar in the kitchen. Put her on top of it. Slid between her spread legs as the long shirt she wore bunched around the top of her thighs. “The doc said not to exert myself too much.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her neck. “I’ll just be nice and slow. Not rough and wild. No undue exertion.”

  Her hands were curled around his arms.

  His head lifted. He stared into her eyes. “If this is what you want…”

  “I want you.” An absolute truth. She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow or the next day—she just wanted him.

  “Then you have me.” He came in close. Pressed his lips to hers even as his hand slid down to her thighs. His slightly callused fingertips trailed up her skin, making her tense as he went up, and up, and… “Oh, baby, did you forget something?”

  “Maybe.” Maybe not. She was wearing the oversized shirt and nothing else.

  His fingers slid between her thighs. He kissed her as he stroked her. His tongue dipped into Courtney’s mouth even as his fingers slid over her sex. His thumb worked her clit. Sliding slowly, giving just the right pressure.

  She arched toward him.

  He pushed a broad finger inside. Her breath caught.

  His finger withdrew. His thumb pushed harder against her clit.

  Her hips surged into his hand. Her mouth pulled from his. “This is…ah…so not sanitary, you know. People eat here.”

  A rough rumble of laughter. “I eat here.”

  Oh, no. No. No way, he was not—

  He did.

  He pushed her back on the bar. Pulled her legs forward. Leaned down and tasted her. Every lick, every slide of his tongue had her moaning. Her body was tight and eager, and his mouth was driving her insane. Pleasure waited just out of reach. She was so close to climax. It would just take a little—

  Two fingers pushed into her as he licked the center of her need.

  She came, gasping out his name.

  “Hell, yes. Hell, yes.”

  He positioned his cock at the entrance to her body.

  Her hands reached for his. Their fingers threaded together. He drove into her, one long glide that filled her completely. Her body was still shuddering from her climax, and her sex rippled around him with the contractions from her release.

  “I want to fuck you so hard,” he whispered as he leaned over. “But I promised you slow…and nice.”

  He didn’t make her feel nice. He made her feel out of control. Reckless. Made her dizzy with pleasure. Nice didn’t fit into the equation.

  Her legs wrapped around his hips. She stared up at him as she deliberately tightened her inner muscles around him. “Fuck nice.” She’d been a nice girl all her life. She could be something else now. She could be anything.

  He withdrew. Drove into her. Filled her with the heavy length of his cock, and she gave herself up to him completely—just as he gave himself to her. There was no holding back. There was no hesitation.

  Their bodies surged together. He filled her. Deep. Total. Again, and again, and she came a second time, a hard surge of pleasure that swept through her entire body and stole her breath. Ben was with her. He drove deep, and his release surged into her. She held him tightly, stared into his eyes and saw his pleasure.

  Saw him.

  Ben. Ben Wilde. The man who’d been her enemy. Her protector.

  Her friend.

  Her lover.

  And…the man that she very much feared…she might love.

  ***

  Her hands were bound behind her. Kadi yanked at the rope, feeling it cut into her wrists. She’d screamed and screamed, but no one had helped her. Some asshole had punched her, and Kadi could taste blood in her mouth.

  The hood was still over her, and she thought that was good, wasn’t it? If the hood was over her, then they were planning to let her go. I haven’t seen their faces. There is still a chance they will let me go. They didn’t know yet that Hayden wouldn’t pay a dime for her return. She could work this. She could work them.

  The hood was yanked off her head.

  I am fucked.

  Kadi blinked against the bright light. It was a bare bulb that hung down from the ceiling, gleaming right in front of her face. Behind that bulb were shadows. Bulky forms that when she squinted, Kadi realized were the shapes of men.

  “That’s not her.”

  Kadi stiffened at the low voice.

  “What are you talking about?” A higher voice. Still male, but had to be younger. His voice cracked, a sure sign of nerves. “I watched that lawyer’s apartment. She came out with him. He put her in a cab. Sent her home. I waited until the cabbie left, and then I grabbed her.”

  “She’s blonde.”

  Kadi sucked in a breath and tried to figure a way out of this.

  “Uh…yeah?” The younger guy seemed confused.

  “We’re looking for a damn brunette.”

  A brunette at Ben’s place? “Courtney,” she said. Her voice cracked as much as the guy’s had. She swallowed a few times and tried again. “You want Courtney.” She didn’t know why. Didn’t care why. All that mattered was that she had to distract these guys.

  Silence.

  I still haven’t seen their faces. “I can get her for you. One phone call from me, and I can get Courtney to meet me any place you want. You want her, and I’ll get her for you.”

  One of the bulky shadows moved forward. Into the light. He was big and round, with a face that showed her his life had been anything but easy. His nose was crooked, a long scar trailed down his cheek and hooked under his jaw. His hair was long and limp, and his wide neck sported a twisting tattoo—one that was punctuated by another long, thin scar. As if someone had once tried to slit the guy’s throat.

  And failed.

  “Why the hell would you sell her out so easily?” He lifted his right hand and the knife he held gleamed beneath the light. He put the knife to her throat, and she felt it cut into her skin.

  I’ll have a scar like his if he digs any deeper.

  Or she’d be dead. “Because I want to live.” Truth. “I would sell out my own mother if it meant I lived.” Another truth. In this world, you had to look out for yourself. No one else was going to do it. No one else would protect you or ever have your back. Not really.

  He laughed. “I believe you.”

  He didn’t move the knife away. And she was too afraid to breathe.

  “Jimmy, get this woman a phone.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ben’s phone rang, jarring him from sleep. He’d carried Courtney into his bedroom and fallen asleep with her curled around him. He squinted at the clock, wondering who in the hell was calling him. Couldn’t be the office—he’d given his assistant strict instructions that he wasn’t to be disturbed. So—had to be Eric.

  The phone rang again. His hand flew out as Ben grabbed the phone. His fingers swiped over the screen, and he squinted against the bright light. He recognized the caller’s name, and a knot settled in his gut.

  “Ben?” Courtney’s fingers slid over his chest. “What is it?”

  He put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

  “Y
ou need to get dressed and meet me at the police station,” Eric told him flatly. “We’ve got a problem.”

  Yeah, he’d figured as much. “What is it?”

  “Your hit and run? They found the driver.”

  “That’s good.” He gave Courtney a reassuring squeeze. “The guy can lead us—”

  “He was a kid, Ben. Eighteen years old. And he’s dead.”

  “What?”

  “He was shot in some old parking garage. He managed to call nine-one-one, but by the time the paramedics got to him, it was too late.”

  Shit.

  “The kid’s prints were found in the SUV that plowed into your car.” Eric’s breath exhaled on a long sigh. “We already suspected the SUV that hit you and Cole would be the same one. We were right. The detective in charge has linked it to the hit and run on Cole.”

  Still he asked, “Is the detective sure?”

  “Yes, it’s Layla.”

  Layla Lopez. A detective they both knew and respected. And Layla was very rarely wrong.

  “She’s the one who tied the dead man to your hit and run. He fit the description given by Courtney and the other witnesses at the scene. Layla pushed for a fast check on the prints—that’s how everything came together so quickly. I’m with Layla now and…” His voice became muffled. “I am telling him. Give me a minute.” A sigh. “Layla wants you to bring Courtney down to the station.” A pause. “Come to the station and then you’ll go to the morgue. Layla wants Courtney to ID the body.”

  His gaze cut to Courtney.

  “Ben? You there?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m here. We’ll be there as fast as we can.” He put down the phone.

  “I…heard the conversation.”

  “You ever identify a body?”

  “No. Have you?”

  “I had to go with Eric once.” Shit. He pulled her closer. He wanted to shield her from every bad thing in the world.

  “He was only eighteen? That’s so young.”

  Too young. “I’ll be with you.” No way would he leave her side. He’d be with her every fucking step of the way.