You Are Free

by Matthew Montague

  Chapter Eighteen

  You walk up on the empty flight deck to look around and you see mountains on three sides of the bay and a little town with towers sticking up at the head of the water and the air smells bad like oil burning and the sky is gray and the two other ships of the MARG are laying off about a mile away and you think this is the first real foreign country I’ve ever been to, and then off in the town you can hear people singing with their voices echoing across the water to you and someone says that’s the Arabs calling people to prayer, and then you say a prayer yourself even though you almost never even think about God.

  But you remember how that afternoon you ran into a Marine Cobra pilot you kind of know and he had his pistol on and his flight suit and he was going up to his helo, and you stopped and watched him as he came down the passageway toward you and then you stuck out your hand and said good luck sir and he said thanks and you said take care of yourself be careful sir and he nodded and you turned and watched him walk away down the passageway getting smaller and smaller and then turning to go up the ladder to the flight deck, so you say a prayer for the pilot right there on the empty flight deck with the Arabs singing and the wind picking up and running through your hair and you walk to the bow and stand looking out over the water and you say good luck sir and maybe goodbye.

  But nothing happens to them and you hear how the Marines spent four days getting up there and then came down to the border and shot the shit with the Iraqis who didn’t want to get their asses kicked again so they let the Marines go down into Iraq and the helos fly into the mountains and drop tons of supplies and every day the Skipper comes on the 1MC and gives you all a talk about how the tents are going up and the people are coming back and then one of the JOs goes up there and comes back and they show the video on SITE-TV and you can see how the people are living in tents and eating MREs and getting their water from the Marines who set up purifiers for the water, and how the Marines got checkpoints up and no one is allowed in with a gun or anything and every day the ordies blow up a big pile of rockets and grenades and bullets and stuff, you can hear the boom and see the cloud go up into the sky, and the JO says that they do this every day and there’s still tons of stuff up there lying around.

  And you sit in the bay, working in supply and in the deck office moving paper around and bullshitting with the guys, and then one day you are alone in the deck office when the First Lieutenant comes in and he looks around and then shuts the door behind him and walks over to your desk and says I hear that you are striking for supply and you say pretty much and he says that’s a good idea and you say yup and then he says I never said anything about it to anybody but I want to say thanks for jumping in and pulling me out of the water and you say don’t worry about it sir and he says sure and then he looks around the office and then back at you and he says well thanks and then he says I endorsed your transfer chit, like that’s a huge favor to you and you say thank you sir and he says well we need you here for the rest of the cruise like you been doing but when we get back you can go to supply full time and you say thank you sir and then he walks out and shuts the door behind him.

  And then day after day after day and days go by sitting there in the bay and guys are getting testy and jumping every time someone says boo and you almost get into a fight on the mess decks with Wilkerson when you walk by and he is telling a whole bunch of assholes all about the girl in Rota that he and Penn were screwing and how it was a free ride for them and you are walking behind him and when he starts laughing you reach over and slam his face into the mess decks table and he jumps up and this time it’s Revelard who pulls you away and you don’t know what the fuck is up with you.

  Then one night you are sitting up on the signal bridge with Revelard in two chairs he ripped off from the wardroom and the signals officer, a kind of a jerk, comes up and passes you guys and goes into the signal shack and then comes out and walks kind of jerky past you and Revelard, who are sitting there smoking and drinking coffee and then he walks into the hatch and you see it kind of close and then it slams open and he comes out and hollers at you and Revelard to stand up and so you do kind of slow and he’s breathing hard and you are wondering what the hell is wrong with him.

  And then he grabs your chair and kind of swings it around and then lets it go and it falls out and down spinning in the air and then it hits the water and you are standing there and then he shoves past you and grabs Revelard’s chair and he kind of gets it up in the air and then sort of just shoves it out over the rail, and it falls too, hitting a sponson on the way and it breaks into about ten pieces and then those pieces hit the water and Revelard says Jesus Christ sir and the officer stands there with his mouth open and breathing hard and then turns and walks down the platform and into the hatch and it slams closed and bounces open and you see his hand reach out and grab the hatch and pull it closed and then you see the dogs move as he closes it.

  You look at Revelard and he says what an asshole and then he says guy got a letter from his wife two days ago and she says she’s two months pregnant and look at him and say what and Revelard says you dick we been to sea for four months and you say oh and two days later you see the first chair, your chair, on the deck of the garbage barge when it comes out and the captain of the barge is sitting in it like the king of all creation and you and Revelard sit there in two new chairs and say these are better ones anyway.

  Three days later the Skipper comes on the 1MC and says that because of the war and the mission and how the boat that was supposed to relieve your boat is still working up and all that shit, and you are sitting there on the mess decks and you know what is coming, and then he says that the boat’s been extended and everyone on the mess decks all at the same time says oh shit.

  And the Skipper says that there’s no way of knowing when you’ll head home and one guy about four tables down stands up and starts yelling fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and he picks up his tray and whips it against the bulkhead and the spaghetti sticks to the bulkhead and then starts sliding down and this guy starts laughing and laughing, and he can’t stop, he tries to sit down in the little plastic swivel chair and then slides out and on the floor laughing and laughing and laughing, and later you hear that he is a OS, works in combat on the radar and that his wife told him that if he was extended one more time that she was going to divorce his ass.

  So the next day you go down the ladder into supply and the senior chief down there asks you Kieffer you qual’d on the M-16 and you say no senior chief and he says you ever shoot one and you say yes senior chief and he says we need to get you qual’d and you say why senior chief and he says cause you going ashore with lieutenant Holden and bring gee-dunk up to the Marines and you say huh and he says sure I worked it out with the Bo’sun you wanna go right and you say yes senior chief and its like the whole world is changing right there in the supply office.

  So all the sudden its like you are some kind of celebrity with the supply guys going into the stores and getting you some cammies and a web belt and you go to the ship’s store and buy some black crows and the senior chief shows up the next day with some combat boots and he says that you got to wear them into the shower and then walk around in them to break them in and so you walk around the whole day with your feet making fart noises in your boots and you get a hat and you go up the MAAs and they take out an M-16 and you go aft to the fantail and figure out how to shoot it, and you are pretty good with it, and then you go with Mr. Holden to the hangar bay and you guys go over the two pallets of smokes and candy and magazines and all sorts of shit you are bringing up to the Marines, in Iraq.

  That night you go down into deck berthing and all the guys know where you are going the next morning and they ask you a million questions and you sit there and shoot the shit and they say you are so lucky man getting off the boat and you sit there and see them look at you and everythings kind of soft and slo-mo and you finally hit the rack and lay there in your cammies and boots and stare at the flesh-colored paint on
the ceiling and wonder where the hell you are.

  And the next morning while you are sitting in the galley eating a omelet with real eggs and real cheese Pinch One made for you the senior chief comes in and tells Pinch One to make one for him and then says Kieffer the shit hit the fan and you are not going and you say what senior chief and he says that the asshole First Lieutenant reminded the XO that you are restricted to the boat for two more days and he says he’s not signing off on this and you say oh fuck and the senior chiefs says yup and then sits up and tucks into the omelet and says Pinch One, this fucking thing is runny and you put down your plate and say I’m gonna go see the Bo’sun and the Senior chief nods at you like you took a long time figuring that one out and then he asks Pinch One you got any good hot sauce for these runny fucking eggs.

  So you get to the deck office and you walk in to see the Bo’sun napping at his desk, his big legs up on the top and one hair shin showing where his pants pulled up, and all the sudden he says what the fuck do you want and you say oh shit, Bo’sun, you scared the crap out of me and he says I ought to, you standing there looking at me like you were measuring me for a dildo, Goddamn, I got my first boner of the float, and then I see you, I was dreamin’ of some LBFM pussy I had in Subic in ‘73 and he sinks back into the chair and closes his eyes

  And you say Bo’sun, first lieutenant says I can’t go up to Iraq cause I’m restricted and he says I already had a talk with the Skipper about it and the Skipper calls up that asshole up to the bridge and says this guy pulls your drunk ass out of Rota and you are shitting on him like this and the first lieutenant says guess not sir and the Skipper says guess not you’re right, don’t be an asshole and you smile and you salute the Bo’sun, who is some kind of officer after all, and he says get the fuck out of here, salute my ass and then he says Kieffer and you say what you want Bo’sun and he says you watch your ass up there in I-raq and you say aye aye sir and he throws his pencil at you.