Christmas in Silver Springs

by Brenda Novak

  “He’s the only one to ever climb it without ropes.”

  Jada sat across from them, next to her brother. “What are you talking about?”

  “Tobias is going to take me hiking,” Atticus announced.

  Jada, who’d reached for the pretzels in the middle of the table, froze. “He’s going to do what?”

  “I’ll show you,” Atticus said.

  As Atticus sat forward so he could call the video back up on his phone, Tobias wondered how Jada was going to react. She’d know her mother wouldn’t like the idea. “I saw this on YouTube several months ago,” Atticus explained and hit Play.

  Both Maddox and Jada watched without speaking. When it was over, they exchanged a look. Then Maddox said, “You and Atticus are going to do that.”

  “Why not?” Atticus said as he put his phone away.

  “Why not?” Jada gaped at her brother. “Are you drunk?”

  “Hell, no! Your brother-in-law is as strong as an ox. If anyone can carry me, he can. Anyway, I only weigh a hundred and fifty pounds.”

  The waitress interrupted to see if Tobias or Atticus wanted another drink.

  “I’ll have another beer,” Atticus told her.

  Tobias waved her off.

  “I guess it depends on where you’re going,” Maddox said slowly, as though he was being careful with his response. “Hiking around here might be okay. The hills aren’t too bad.”

  “Hell, no,” Atticus said. “We’re not going around here. We’re tackling Yosemite!”

  Maddox blinked in surprise. “That would be quite a feat.”

  Atticus shrugged. “We can do it. We’re going to train for it. And since I might never make it out there again, I’m going to film the whole thing.”

  “This is because of that movie Free Solo, isn’t it?” Jada asked her brother. “You’ve been obsessed with it.”

  “It wasn’t my idea.” Atticus pointed at Tobias. “He offered.”

  Both Jada and Maddox turned expectantly to Tobias.

  “It’ll be a challenge, but it’s something we’d like to do,” he said. “For Atticus’s birthday.”

  There was another long pause, during which Jada started to nibble worriedly on her bottom lip.

  “Yosemite is a beautiful place,” Maddox said. Tobias knew he wasn’t giving his blessing to the project. He’d said something completely neutral—his way of indicating they’d discuss it later. But Tobias wasn’t opposed to hearing him out. Maybe someone should talk some sense into them.

  He and Atticus both let the conversation segue to another subject and then another... When Atticus’s truck would be fixed (not for another week—a friend had brought him to the Blue Suede Shoe but then had to go to work, and Jada would drive him home). How long Carl might remain in town. (Everyone agreed the sooner he left the better.) Whether it was even safe for him to be living with his father. (Tobias didn’t think so.) And Susan’s health (which was in decline). They talked about Aiyana Turner, their boss, and how she and Cal Buchanan had been together for some time but hadn’t yet married, and why Aiyana, even though she was obviously head over heels in love, was so resistant to taking that step.

  “She’s just scared,” Maddox said.

  “Scared of what?” Atticus asked. “He adores her.”

  “Scared that marriage will change things between them. I get the impression she’s been burned in the past and doesn’t want to give a man that much power over her life, so she keeps putting Cal off.”

  “You don’t think she trusts him?” Tobias asked.

  “She doesn’t trust giving another person that much say in her life—doesn’t want to be that beholden.”

  “So you doubt they’ll ever get married,” Jada said.

  Maddox slid his now-empty glass away. “If something were to happen to Cal—his health began to decline or he needed her in some other way—she’d do it. They’re both just so busy right now that it’s easy to keep making excuses.”

  There was no one like Aiyana. She’d done a lot for Maddox, giving him a job. And she’d supported Tobias in the same way. Tobias hated to think where he’d be without her willingness to take a stand against his detractors and give him a second chance.

  They were talking about going to Jada and Maddox’s for Christmas Eve, and whether they should try to invite Susan, knowing she’d probably refuse to come, when Tobias went to the bathroom.

  “You ready to get your ass kicked at darts?” Atticus joked when he returned.

  Tobias grinned at him. “Might as well get it over with.”

  Maddox and Jada were following them over to the dartboards in the corner when Maddox touched Tobias’s arm.

  “What is it?” Tobias murmured, falling back as Jada and Atticus went ahead.

  A slight hand gesture told him he should look at the bar, and when he did, he saw Harper.

  She was still wearing her coat—had obviously just come in—and was standing with her back to him, talking to a woman who seemed about the same age, and a man who looked a few years older.

  “That’s her, isn’t it?” Maddox said.

  Tobias’s heart began to race. He’d been dying to hear from Harper for the better part of a week, and yet he’d received nothing. “Yeah. That’s her.”

  He told himself to look away, to continue on to the gaming area behind the pool tables. The place wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t empty, either. Depending on how long she stayed and what she did, he thought he might be able to play without her ever noticing him.

  But then she turned—and saw him.

  14

  “Something wrong?” Karoline’s forehead creased as she watched Harper.

  Harper tore her gaze away from Tobias. “No, nothing.”

  Fortunately, the bartender interrupted at that moment, so instead of pressing her, as she normally would have, Karoline turned to order.

  “This is okay, isn’t it?” Terrance whispered behind his wife’s back. “I know Karoline had to sort of strong-arm you into coming out tonight, but it’s only because she’s concerned about you, wants you to get out and have some adult fun.”

  “So her answer is to almost force me?” Harper muttered.

  “I choose to see her approach as...encouraging you,” he said with a wink.

  Living with Karoline and Terrance was teaching Harper how Terrance, such a mellow man, coped with the steamroller that was her sister. He focused on her intentions, not how she fulfilled them. And Harper had to admit Karoline’s intentions were always good. That was why she put up with her, too.

  “I know.” She could’ve argued that her sister occasionally pushed too hard, but her mind wasn’t on the conversation. It was on Tobias and his expression when he saw her. He hadn’t done anything to indicate he recognized her, hadn’t so much as smiled. He was letting her know he didn’t expect anything, not even a greeting. But that left what felt like a heavy stone lodged in her stomach. She should’ve responded to his text. She felt bad that she hadn’t. But she’d known that striking up any kind of conversation with him, even one in which she just assured him she was okay, would weaken her defenses.

  Karoline cleared her throat in an exaggerated fashion. “Hello? The bartender’s waiting. Are you two going to order a drink?”

  “I’ll have a Moscow mule.” To her own ears, her voice sounded tinny and mechanical, but Karoline didn’t seem to think anything of it. She looked at Terrance expectantly, and he said he’d have a scotch and water.

  They waited for their drinks before finding a table. By then, Tobias was in the corner, playing darts with Maddox, a beautiful pregnant woman Harper didn’t recognize—she guessed it had to be Maddox’s wife from the way they touched—and a man in a wheelchair she’d never seen before. She had no idea who he was or how he was connected to the group and tried not to glance over there every few seconds,
but it wasn’t easy. The way Tobias looked in his jeans made her remember certain things she was trying to forget—like how impressive he was without them.

  Fortunately, for a change, her eagle-eyed sister didn’t notice her preoccupation. It was Terrance who seemed to realize that something wasn’t quite right. He watched her closely as Karoline helped the waitress clear away the glasses left by two previous customers.

  “So? How’d it go with Axel?” Karoline asked as the waitress finished wiping the table and they sat down.

  “Has something changed with him?” Terrance asked in his typical even tone.

  Harper shook her head. She didn’t want to get into that. “No, nothing new.”

  Ice clinked against Karoline’s glass as she brought it to her lips. “What are you talking about? He’s been so resolute throughout the divorce. Until now.”

  “True.” Harper had been hoping he’d have second thoughts. It had seemed far too easy for him to walk away, made her wonder if he’d ever really cared about her.

  “Matt called earlier to tell Harper that Axel’s freaking out, doesn’t want to continue the tour,” Karoline confided to Terrance.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Why’s he freaking out?”

  His wife offered him a conspirator’s smile. “Harper mentioned that she’s been seeing someone else.”

  Terrance looked at Harper. “Who? The guy you went on a date with last weekend?”

  Harper didn’t like talking about that date because it wasn’t the date part that had set Axel off. “Axel’s just getting homesick,” she said. “He’s been abroad for weeks. All that travel would have to get old at some point—no matter how much success you’re having.”

  Karoline rested her elbows on the table. “Is that what he said?”

  Harper had called Axel after she and Karoline returned from the store but before they’d gotten ready to go out for a drink. He’d said he was conflicted about the divorce, but that was more than she planned to reveal.

  Only a week or two ago, that would’ve been such welcome news. Harper had waited forever, it seemed, to hear him say those words. She would’ve told him to come back to her, that she still loved him.

  But now? She felt more angry than excited. How could he put her through so much and then, when it was all over, act as though it might’ve been a mistake? She’d pleaded with him to reconsider, to think about their children, to imagine adding stepparents to their children’s lives, to help her avoid having to take turns being with their children for every special occasion in the future. She couldn’t believe he couldn’t see how much better it would be to stay together. Their marriage hadn’t been that bad.

  “More or less,” she said.

  “Would you ever get back with him?” Terrance asked.

  She didn’t know the answer to that question. She supposed she’d wait and see if Axel’s feelings of regret lingered. For all she knew, he’d feel differently tomorrow. It could be that he was just lonely or homesick or having a bout of depression, and he thought some reassurance that he hadn’t lost anything he couldn’t get back would make it better. “I’m not sure,” she admitted.

  Terrance toyed with the condensation on his glass. “You don’t think you could forgive him?”

  Harper found it difficult to talk about Axel while Tobias was around. The hairs on the back of her neck had been standing up ever since she’d seen him—but in a good way. It was as if she could feel his presence even when she wasn’t looking at him, even though he was in the back of the bar ignoring her. “I could forgive him. It’s just... How would I ever trust his love? I mean, how will I know he won’t change his mind a second time? Decide he’s done with me next year or the year after? Or in ten years? I don’t want to live with the fear that he might call it quits at any moment. I don’t want to go through what I’ve been through all over again.”

  Karoline’s hand covered hers for a brief moment. “Those are valid points.”

  “People go through periods where they lose sight of what used to be important to them, though,” Terrance pointed out. “Maybe he deserves a second chance.”

  Karoline scowled at her husband. “How reliable do you think Axel will be now that he’s so famous?”

  “Anyway, it’s not worth discussing,” Harper said. “He didn’t come out and ask for a second chance. He just said he misses me.”

  He’d also asked if she still loved him, if she’d really enjoyed sex with Tobias more than she’d enjoyed sex with him and whether she’d be willing to leave the girls with Karoline and come to Europe and finish off the tour with him. She’d said she’d always love him...to a point. She’d avoided the question about Tobias. The two men couldn’t be compared in that way; they were so different. She’d told him that she hadn’t meant to say anything negative about their sex life, because it had been good—until the end, at least, when Axel had become so distracted that he never felt present when they made love.

  And she’d refused to leave the girls for Christmas.

  But as far as she was concerned, that was all private—strictly between her and Axel—so she was relieved when Karoline let the conversation drift away from him and they began to talk about their trip to Disneyland and what the girls wanted for Christmas. They hadn’t been able to do much shopping while they were in LA because they’d had the kids with them, so Karoline suggested they drive to Santa Barbara to finish up sometime soon.

  Harper agreed and then, after they’d all had another drink, Karoline got up to dance with her husband.

  The alcohol was giving Harper a buzz. She was finally relaxing, enjoying the atmosphere and the twinkle of the Christmas lights that were strung around the place. But Tobias had been on her mind since she’d seen him. Whenever Terrance and Karoline weren’t watching her, she craned her neck to see if he was still in the bar. And when her sister and brother-in-law disappeared into the crowd, she looked again.

  Sure enough, he was exactly where he’d been before, playing darts. She was relieved when she saw him. She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted to talk to him, to try to explain why he hadn’t heard from her.

  But she couldn’t catch his eye. He never looked her way, seemed determined not to.

  Karoline and Terrance kept dancing even after the first song ended, so, hoping for a chance to apologize or at least feel better about how things had ended between them, and having drunk enough to summon the nerve, Harper walked over to Tobias and his group.

  As soon as Tobias’s friends glanced up at her, however, she regretted being so bold. What had she been thinking? What was she going to say? She’d interrupted their game!

  “I, uh...” She wiped her palms on her new skinny jeans. “I just wanted to say...hi,” she finished lamely.

  Tobias didn’t seem pleased that she’d made the effort; he seemed reserved, guarded. “Hi,” he responded.

  The man in the wheelchair looked between them. “You two know each other?”

  “We bumped into each other at the Eatery once.” Tobias spoke up before she could answer. She got the impression that he wanted to downplay their earlier interaction as much as possible, which was, of course, fine with her. Maybe he was even doing it for her sake. “Harper, this is Atticus Brooks. He lives here in town and works at the same school I do.” He indicated the woman who was sitting on Maddox’s lap. “Jada, here, is his sister.”

  “I can see the family resemblance.” Harper held out her hand to Atticus. “Hello.”

  Atticus seemed a bit starstruck. “Aren’t you Axel Devlin’s wife?”

  Harper hated being recognized. To her, it wasn’t fun to be related to someone famous. She hated the curiosity it engendered, the intrusion of the press, the feeling that there were people out there who were happy that she and her husband had split up—or were talking about it and forming opinions even though they were complete strangers.

  “E
x-wife,” she clarified. After thinking of herself as a divorcée for almost a week, it was getting easier to make that distinction.

  “And you know Maddox,” Tobias said, continuing the introductions. “Jada’s his wife.”

  “We have a teenage daughter and will be having a new baby in the spring,” Jada confided. “Our daughter is over at her best friend’s.”

  Grateful that Maddox had been nice enough not to mention where they’d met, or to correct Tobias when he made it sound as though their contact had been far more casual than it was, Harper smiled at them both. “It’s a pleasure.”

  Atticus offered her four darts. “Would you like to play? You could team up with Tobias while I go get a drink.”

  She laughed. “I doubt he’ll want me on his team. I’m not very good.”

  “Neither is he,” Atticus teased. “I just beat him. Again.”

  “I’m better than Maddox,” Tobias grumbled. “It’s Jada who might give me some trouble.”

  “You know I’m not very good,” Jada said at the same time her husband joked, “We should head over to the pool tables if you’re going to be that cocky.”

  Harper could tell they were teasing each other and smiled.

  “Don’t worry about me,” Atticus told them. “I’ll find you wherever you are.” He stopped wheeling himself away. “Anyone else want a drink?”

  Tobias looked at Harper as though he expected her to beg off and leave—as though he was saying, Now’s your chance.

  But she wasn’t ready to leave, not before she figured out if he was angry with her or just feeling awkward.

  “If they have any IPAs on draft, I’ll take one,” she said. “If not, get me whatever they’ve got.”

  “Done,” Atticus said and made his way to the bar.

  Maddox gestured at the dartboard. “You can go first,” he said to Harper.

  She smiled tentatively at Tobias. She was hoping for some encouragement or any sign that he was glad she’d come over. But he didn’t give her that sign. He wouldn’t even look at her. And he moved away from her as though he wanted to avoid any accidental contact.