Christmas in Silver Springs

by Brenda Novak

  “I like a lot more than that about you.” Tobias helped Harper up but let go of her as though he’d said something innocuous.

  “Can I be first?” Piper cried when she saw that his hands were free.

  “You bet. Just let me get my own skates on.”

  The rink wasn’t crowded, but there were a few boys who were skating through dinner. Tobias was actually glad about that, because he knew them from school. When the three came over to say hello and see what he was doing, he recruited them to help teach the girls.

  He could tell Amanda and Miranda were thrilled to have the attention of these older boys—all the giggling indicated they thought their helpers were cute—and Everly didn’t seem to mind, since it meant she wouldn’t have to take turns with Piper. That freed him to help Harper’s youngest while Terrance and Karoline, clinging to each other, gingerly stepped onto the ice after only a few instructions, and Harper watched from the side.

  Piper loved the ice. She didn’t catch on very fast, but Tobias hadn’t expected much from a six-year-old who’d never been on skates. She mostly loved riding on his shoulders while he skated, which he let her do for a few minutes here and there, amid helping all the others. When he finally got Harper onto the ice, however, Piper was ready to try skating with her sister, two cousins and the boys.

  “You’re a natural with kids,” Harper said as he guided her around the rink.

  “What was that watch all about?” he asked instead of commenting.

  She gave him a pert look. “What watch?”

  “The one you delivered to my house last night.”

  “That wasn’t me. You must have another secret admirer.”

  He lowered his voice even more. “Harper, I can’t accept such an expensive gift.”

  “You can’t return it, either, not if you don’t know who gave it to you.”

  “You won’t take it back?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Then...tell me why you did it?” he persisted.

  She looked up at him. “Because it made me happy. That’s been the best part of my Christmas, so please don’t ruin it by saying you want to give it back to me.”

  “It was the best part of your Christmas—and yet it doesn’t mean anything?”

  He could see that she was checking to make sure Karoline and Terrance weren’t tracking them. No one was within earshot—they weren’t speaking loudly enough for that—but he knew she didn’t want to be caught talking too earnestly. That would only raise questions she’d be bombarded with later. “It means I wish things were different.”

  He tightened his grip on her waist. “Is it over between us?” he asked. “Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

  She bowed her head, ostensibly watching their feet so they didn’t get tangled.

  “Look at me,” he said. “I’m not going to let you fall.”

  Finally, she lifted her head. “If I were only choosing for myself... If I didn’t have two children to consider...”

  “Then...”

  “I could explore what I’m feeling.”

  His heart began to pound. “Which is...”

  She didn’t get the chance to answer. Karoline and Terrance came skating up to them, laughing, and Karoline said, “Look, we’re getting the hang of it.”

  “You’re doing great,” Tobias said. Then the boys told him they had to go or they’d miss what was left of dinner, and Tobias spent the next two hours trying to give everyone ample time and attention on the ice. It wasn’t until he thought Harper was in the bathroom and he went into the back to turn off the music while everyone was removing their skates that he turned to find her standing in the doorway.

  He didn’t speak—and neither did she. They didn’t want to be found out, so they just crossed the room, met in the middle and kissed as though they’d been craving this opportunity since they’d first set eyes on each other. In his case, at least, it was true.

  A moment later, Harper was breathing hard as she pressed her forehead to his and put her palm tenderly to his cheek.

  He opened his mouth to tell her how badly he wanted her, how well he’d treat her. But then he closed it again. He knew what stood in their way, and it wasn’t just Axel.

  So he said nothing.

  Pulling back, she hurried out before someone could come looking for them.

  “I just can’t keep myself from reaching for the flame,” he muttered, shaking his head.

  He could still taste her as he turned off the music and went out to help put the skates away and say goodbye.

  * * *

  Harper knew the second she kissed Tobias that she was going back to his house, so it was difficult to get through the rest of the evening. She couldn’t wait until the girls went to sleep.

  As soon as her sister finally turned in, too, she texted him.

  I want to see you.

  Tonight?

  Yes.

  When?

  Give me twenty minutes, just to be sure everyone’s asleep.

  I’ll be there. Same spot.

  Harper was pretty sure she’d never felt happier than after she escaped her sister’s house and was running down the block toward his truck.

  “We’re just making this harder, you know,” he said when she climbed in.

  “I know. But I can’t seem to make myself care about that. Not right now. Can you?”

  His gaze roamed over her before he answered, “No.”

  “At least we both feel the same,” she said.

  * * *

  This time they didn’t sleep at all. They made love as soon as they got to the house, dropping their clothes as they crossed the living room to reach the bed.

  The encounter was intense, exquisite, and they were both exhausted afterward. But they didn’t drift off. They knew the hours would pass far too quickly as it was. They talked and touched and laughed and talked and touched some more.

  Tobias couldn’t believe how right it felt to be with Harper, how content she made him feel—whether they were in bed or not. The only time he got uncomfortable was when she asked him something about his past that was difficult to answer without an outright lie.

  At one point he asked her if she’d ever done anything she sincerely regretted, down to the depths of her soul. He’d been looking for an opening, an opportunity to tell her the truth.

  But she’d said she couldn’t think of anything she’d done that would be that bad, and it scared him. She’d never understand. If he told her what he’d done, she’d never be able to trust him, especially around her children, and her sister and brother-in-law would probably be the first to jump on the stay-away-from-Tobias bandwagon.

  How could he expect anything else, considering the privileged life Harper had lived? She hadn’t grown up with a single, meth-addicted mother who went from man to man. She’d had a superior court judge for a mother, and her parents were together to this day.

  Ultimately, he’d given up trying to find a way to break the truth to her. He didn’t want to ruin this night, knew how fleeting these precious few hours would be. And he got the impression she wouldn’t want them ruined. She didn’t want to talk about the future any more than he wanted to talk about specific things in the past.

  They were both in the tub, washing up before he had to take her home, when she asked, “When’s the last time you saw your mother?”

  “Last night.”

  “I thought you went to a Christmas party.”

  “I did. But the party wasn’t any fun, and it wasn’t very far from where my mother lives, so I decided to pay her a visit before I came home.”

  “And? How was she?”

  “About the same.”

  “Does she work?”

  “She tends to go from one low-paying job to another, but...yeah, most of the time she works. Right now she’
s serving drinks at a bar.”

  “Have you ever thought of getting her into rehab?”

  He chuckled.

  “What?” she said.

  “She’s been through rehab, Harper. Many times.”

  She cast him a sheepish glance over one shoulder. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  He lifted the sponge he’d been using to bathe her and ran soap up her arm. “It’s fine. I’m used to it,” he said, even though it really wasn’t the kind of problem someone could get used to. It was the kind of problem that continually got worse until—

  He didn’t want to look down that road.

  “Whose party was it?” she asked.

  “An old girlfriend.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Tonya.”

  “Where did you meet her?”

  He rinsed the soap from her left arm and started on her right. “She’s the sister of an old friend.”

  “But it ended well between you? It must have, if she invited you to her party and you felt comfortable going.”

  “She’d like to get back together. I think that’s why she invited me. But I’m not interested.”

  “Why did you two break up in the first place?”

  “She’s not really what I’m looking for.”

  She turned around carefully so she could straddle him despite the limited space. “Then what are you looking for?”

  He felt himself grow hard again as her soapy breasts came into contact with his chest and she began to kiss his neck, sucking his skin into her mouth.

  “Let’s not talk about that right now,” he said.

  After shifting so she could take him inside her, she began to move, causing the water to splash up against the sides. “Because...”

  Acting as though he was too aroused to carry on a coherent conversation, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the dated tile while guiding her hips with his hands. He was aroused and loving every minute of what she was doing—but he could’ve come up with the answer to her question. He just didn’t want to talk about what he was looking for in a woman, because if he had to describe someone, it would be her.

  23

  “I hate dropping you off here, especially when it’s foggy like this,” Tobias complained when Harper had him stop even farther from her sister’s house than usual.

  “We can’t use the same spot every time. That might draw too much attention.”

  “But I can’t see you get home safely from here. Are you sure I can’t drop you off in front? It’s four thirty in the morning. Everyone should be sleeping.”

  Harper knew she was probably being a little risky—something terrible could happen anywhere—but she felt safe in her sister’s neighborhood. She’d decided she was going to put off any reconciliation with Axel until she’d had a chance to fully explore what she was feeling for Tobias. But it was one thing to tell Karoline what she’d decided—and quite another to show up disheveled after having had sex with Tobias all night.

  She needed to be careful, to do this right. She knew there’d be moments when she’d feel highly conflicted, but for the first time since her divorce, she felt as though she’d found the direction she wanted to go—not the direction she felt she should go, necessarily, but what she really wanted deep in her heart. There was just something about Tobias that made her happy, and she was hesitant to give him up.

  By contrast, every time she thought about getting back with Axel she felt a little sick inside—even panicked, because she knew what she’d have to look forward to if she chose that path, and how difficult it would be. Even when they were together, before he’d ever mentioned the D word, they’d been struggling to get along. She couldn’t command enough of his time or attention, and when he did want her it was for what she could provide—her calming influence, her help, her ability to level out his emotions.

  “My brother-in-law is a light sleeper,” she said. “And he gets up early. I’m going to tell Karoline and Terrance that I’m seeing you, but I don’t want them to find out this way. It’ll take me less than three minutes to run home. I’ll be fine.”

  “Will you text me when you get in—so I won’t worry?”

  “Yeah.” She started to climb out of his truck, but hating to leave him, scooted back so she could kiss him one last time. “I can’t get enough of you,” she whispered against his lips. “I’ve been with you for hours and yet I want to go back home with you right now.”

  “I wish you’d do it,” he said.

  “I can’t. I have to be there when the girls wake up.”

  “I know.”

  Reluctantly, she started to move away from him again, but he caught hold of her. “Tell me you’re coming back over tonight.”

  “I am,” she said. “I’m coming back every night until I have to go home to Colorado. I hate that I’ve wasted so much time—time I could’ve spent with you.”

  “We don’t have to wait until dark to see each other. Let’s take the girls ice-skating again. The only way they’ll get better is if we give them a chance to practice.”

  She ran her thumb over his mouth and then his jawline, memorizing the details of his face. “But school is out of session. Shouldn’t we leave the rink to the students at New Horizons?”

  “It won’t hurt the students if we skate, too. There are hardly any kids left at the school right now, anyway.”

  “You don’t have to work today?”

  “I’m off this week for Christmas.”

  “All week?”

  “All week. Most of next week, too. I go back two days before classes start.”

  “Okay. Let’s go ice-skating. The girls will be excited.”

  “And I’ll be careful. You don’t have to worry that I’ll try to touch you or make you uncomfortable.”

  She smiled. “I know. You were better at that yesterday than I was.”

  “Then meet me at the rink at three.”

  “Perfect.” She kissed him yet again and then she impulsively spread kisses all over his face.

  He seemed surprised by her sudden show of passion and affection. But she loved how truly comfortable she was with him, how content and renewed. He was so easygoing; she needed that right now. It brought her peace. And she liked that he was satisfied with a much simpler life than the one Axel craved, that he wasn’t burning with ambition to become a living legend. Axel’s drive, his dream of making it big and then staying on top, was too hard for her to compete with. His work had become his love and, at the end, she’d been demoted to a support role—one more person to help keep him on track and successful.

  “I really like your hair short,” she told Tobias as she ran her fingers through it. “It makes even more of your handsome face.”

  “Harper...”

  The way he said her name, so seriously, sent a jolt of alarm through her. It was the kind of tone Axel had used whenever he had a complaint or was about to say something she wouldn’t like. “What?”

  He stared at her for several seconds, his eyebrows drawn as though he had something difficult—maybe even painful—to say.

  “You’re scaring me,” she said. “What is it?”

  Suddenly, his expression cleared, and he kissed the tip of her nose. “Don’t be scared. Never mind. We can talk about it later. I’ll see you at three.”

  If she hadn’t been under so much pressure to get home, she would’ve insisted he tell her now. She was curious about what had been going through his mind. But she figured they’d have much more time to talk once the kids were in bed and she was back at his place.

  “Okay. See you in a little while,” she said and, reluctantly, let go of him so she could climb out. She had no idea how she’d play it cool at ice-skating—she was so infatuated with him she wanted to touch him constantly—but except for the slip in the back room, she’d managed yesterday.


  As soon as she started walking, she checked her phone. She’d heard it buzz several times before reaching into her purse to turn it off completely; she knew Axel was trying to reach her. It was eight hours later in the UK, where he was now, which meant it was midday for him. And while he no doubt knew it was very early for her, she hadn’t returned his calls from last night so he probably felt entitled to bother her.

  He’d better not have called Karoline again, she thought. After the last time, she’d texted him to ask him not to do that. But he had no patience whatsoever.

  She sighed as she scrolled through the number of calls she’d missed. How many were there? Ten? Fifteen?

  He was obsessive! She didn’t want to talk to him. Returning Axel’s calls was becoming a chore. Besides, she was still flying high from being with Tobias.

  Suddenly, she stopped scrolling. Walking, too. Axel’s name wasn’t the only one on her missed call list. Her sister’s name was there, too. Karoline had tried to reach her three times within the last fifteen minutes.

  “Oh, shit,” Harper muttered. Had Axel called her sister when he couldn’t reach her?

  Although that was most likely the case, she was also worried that maybe one of her girls had gotten sick during the night.

  Her heart leaped into her throat as she started to run. But then the patchy fog cleared a little and her sister’s house came into view, and she realized what was wrong.

  Axel hadn’t been calling her from the UK. He’d called from much closer. She knew because he was sitting on Karoline’s front steps, waiting for her.

  * * *

  Tobias had almost told Harper the truth, everything he’d been holding back about his past. He’d come so close. He felt as though he had no choice. Last night had been different between them. Harper had fully embraced the idea of being with him instead of going back to Axel. He could feel it in the way she touched him, the way she made love to him, the way she vocalized how much she enjoyed being with him—and the fact that she was letting him be around her children again later today.