And Then You Die

by Iris Johansen

  She whirled and pointed the gun at him.

  He held up his hands. “I'm no threat to you, Bess.”

  “The hell you're not.”

  “You can waste your time trying to decide whether to kill me or to see if we can save Kaldak. I think he's still alive.”

  Her gaze flew to Kaldak. Alive? There had been so much blood. . . .

  Yael knelt down beside Kaldak, his fingers on Kaldak's throat. He nodded. “Alive.”

  “Stay away from him.”

  “I do have a gun, Bess. You might consider the possibility that I could have killed you anytime.”

  “Esteban told you not to interfere.”

  “Have you ever found me that meek?” He tore a strip from Kaldak's shirt and made a pad. “Now, come and help me. I don't like this bleeding.”

  She hurried across the room, kneeling, gathering Kaldak close.

  “You apply pressure while I call 911,” Yael said.

  Her hands were already on his chest above the wound. “Call them. Quick.”

  Esteban was dead and Kaldak was alive. She had been given a miracle and she wouldn't let it be stolen from her. She would not let Kaldak die.

  The paramedics carefully placed Kaldak in the ambulance and Bess jumped in and sat down beside him.

  She glanced at Yael, who stood outside. “Are you coming?”

  He shook his head. “The medics have called the police. I have something to do before they get here. I'll see you at the hospital.”

  Would he? Or was he taking this opportunity to escape? Yael's actions had completely bewildered her. There was no doubt he'd been in collusion with Esteban. Yet he had held his hand when he could have killed her, and he'd worked beside her to save Kaldak.

  The medics slammed the door and a moment later the ambulance was speeding down the road toward the highway.

  Kaldak was still unconscious and he was too pale. She wiped her eyes and grabbed his hand.

  “Don't you die on me,” she whispered. “You hold on. Don't you dare die, Kaldak.”

  She felt the ambulance vibrate before she heard the explosion.

  Her gaze flew to the back window.

  The windmill was splintering like a toy as flames engulfed it and clawed at the sky.

  Twenty

  Kaldak woke as they were wheeling him into the emergency room. “Esteban?” he whispered.

  “Dead.” Her hand tightened on his. “Don't talk.”

  “Are––you––all right?”

  She nodded jerkily. “Fine assassin you are. Why couldn't you shoot him or something? Did you have to jump between us?”

  “He had his finger on the trigger. I was afraid––reflex action.”

  “So you let the son of a bitch shoot you.”

  “Not––my plan. Everything went wrong. I was waiting for Esteban. No time. He got there just before––you.”

  “I told you not to talk. Do you want to die, you stupid man?”

  “No.” His eyes closed. “No, I want to live.”

  “How is he?”

  Bess looked up to see Yael standing in the entrance to the waiting room. “Another hospital,” she said wearily. “We've got to stop meeting like this.”

  “How is he?”

  “He's in X ray right now. They think the bullet missed vital organs, but he's lost some blood.”

  “He'll survive. Kaldak's tough.”

  “Yes. But he's a thickheaded idiot. He had a gun and he didn't use it. He let himself get shot. Did he expect me to be grateful?”

  “He probably didn't think at all. Are you grateful?”

  “I don't know. I don't know anything.”

  “Except that you're glad Kaldak isn't dead.”

  She was glad about that. Everything else was a blur. She leaned her head against the wall behind her. “You blew up the windmill.”

  “And the money and Esteban with it.”

  “Why?”

  “It was the only way I could be sure that the currency was destroyed. I didn't want it confiscated and put in some security warehouse someplace. Your government is very fond of storing things for a rainy day.”

  She glared at him. “You worked with Esteban, you bastard.”

  He nodded. “My prime objective was always to get Habin. He was the one who was going to demand the release of Palestinian prisoners. I had to work with Esteban to make sure Habin was erased from the picture.” He smiled slightly. “It was my extreme pleasure to supply him with the bomb he used on Habin's helicopter and the one he gave Jeffers to blow up the counterfeit installation.”

  “You could have stopped Jeffers from picking up the money.”

  He shook his head. “I didn't know the details. Esteban just used me as he used everyone else.”

  “But if it had come down to a choice between ridding yourself of Habin or stopping Collinsville from happening, what would you have picked?”

  Yael was silent.

  “You would still have chosen Habin,” she whispered.

  “My country can't afford to have people like Habin alive. We live with the threat of terrorists every moment of every day. My first wife died because of men like Habin.” His gaze was cold as he met her eyes. “Yes, I would have sacrificed a hundred Collinsvilles if it meant keeping those prisoners from being turned loose.”

  Kaldak had once said Yael was more accepting than he was. It wasn't true. The man before her was totally relentless.

  He smiled. “You're shocked. Remember I told you that we all have our priorities? Esteban just wasn't as high on my list as he was on yours. You might ask yourself what you would have sacrificed to get Esteban.”

  “I don't think I would have sacrificed you, Yael.”

  His smile faded. “I hoped I wouldn't get you killed, but I had to destroy the currency. The only way I could find it was to tell Esteban to use it as a ploy to draw you into the trap.” He grimaced. “If Kaldak had called and let me know what he'd learned from Jeffers, that wouldn't have been necessary. By the way, the local police picked up Jeffers near the windmill an hour ago. He was screaming to high heaven about a deal he made with Kaldak.”

  She didn't care about Jeffers. “You just stood there. You were going to let Esteban shoot me.”

  “Was I?” He shook his head. “I was only waiting for my chance to be a hero. You and Kaldak didn't give it to me.”

  “You're not a hero.”

  “No, I'm only a man with priorities.” He turned to go. “I'm leaving for Tel Aviv tomorrow night. I'll stop by in the morning to see Kaldak.”

  “Do you think he'll want to see you?”

  He nodded. “He might be angry that I used you, but Kaldak understands priorities.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Oh, he does. No one wanted Esteban more than Kaldak did, but he didn't take the sure kill last night. I think he understands priorities very well.”

  Kaldak was sitting up in bed when she came in the next afternoon. “Are you supposed to be up?”

  “I'm fine.” He scowled. “But they won't let me out of here.”

  “It serves you right for getting shot.” He didn't look well, but he looked much better. His chest and shoulder were bandaged, and his color was almost normal. She set the vase of spring flowers she'd brought on the nightstand. “Was Yael here?”

  He nodded.

  “He said you'd understand.”

  “I do.”

  “Well, I don't. I feel . . . betrayed. I thought he was my friend.”

  “He was your friend.”

  “Friends don't make you the bait in their little traps.”

  He was silent.

  “I don't care about priorities. It's not right. He shouldn't have done it.” Her hands clenched into fists. “And I still like the bastard. That's not right either.”

  “What do you want me to do? Explain him? Make excuses for him?” He shook his head. “I can't do that. I won't do that. Any more than I would for myself. We both used you and betrayed you. No amount of reg
ret will change that fact. You have to either forgive us or try to boot us out of your life.”

  “Try?”

  “You might succeed with Yael. You won't with me.” He said harshly, “I need you. Do you know how hard that is for me to say? I need you and I won't let you go. I don't care if you think I'm a bastard. If you try to get away from me, I'll follow you. God knows, I'm good at the hunt. I won't bother you but you'll know I'm there. And someday I'll be there and you'll need me too.”

  She shook her head.

  “Don't shake your head. It's going to happen.”

  “Maybe it will. But not because you bully me.”

  “I'm not bullying you. I'm just telling you how it is.” He paused. “Is it Emily? Do you still blame me for Emily?”

  “No, not any longer. You didn't know she was going to Tenajo. I don't even blame you for sending me there. It was wrong, but I can understand. Those damn priorities again. You and Yael are obsessed with them.”

  “No more than I'm obsessed with you.”

  “I don't want to be anyone's obsession. I have enough obsessions of my own.” And Kaldak could very well become one of them. He had dominated her life from the moment he had entered it.

  “Do you think I'm talking about some sick fixation? We're good together.”

  “You mean sexually.”

  “Hell, yes, but more than that. And you know it.” He hesitated. “I . . . care about you. I don't want you to walk out of my life. I want to stay with you, live with you.”

  And she wanted to stay with him. The knowledge came suddenly and surely. She wanted Kaldak more than anything else she had ever wanted in her life. But she couldn't have him. Not yet. Maybe never. “And do you want to talk to me about Nakoa?”

  He stiffened. “What do you mean? I've told you about Nakoa.”

  “You haven't told me about your wife and your son. You haven't told me about David Gardiner. And don't tell me you're not that man anymore. Everyone's born with a soul, but it's experiences that make us what we are. I know Kaldak. I don't know David Gardiner. I deserve to know both. I won't settle for anything less.”

  He was silent a moment. “I'll tell you.”

  “But you don't want to talk. For God's sake, do you think I want to force confidences out of you? I just want you to be able to let the past go. If you can come to me and say that you've done that, then maybe we'd have some hope of––” She stood up. “This isn't getting us anywhere. It's all too soon.”

  “I know you care something for me. Stay and let's work it out.”

  “Right now, I don't know how I feel. I'm sad and angry and grateful, but I––”

  “I don't want your gratitude. I want you to–– But I'll take the gratitude if you go along with it.”

  “It's too soon.” She moved toward the door. “I can't deal with it. I can't deal with you, Kaldak.”

  “You're not going to learn by running away.”

  “I'm not running away. I have things to do. I'm going back to Collinsville and work with the CDC and make sure they have a cure in case this damn mutant anthrax surfaces somewhere else. I have to go to the hospital and check on Josie. Then I'm going to Canada to the ranger station where Tom and Julie left their car and wait for them to come out of the woods. It should be any day now.” She had to steady her voice. “I have to be there to tell them about Emily. I'm not running. I have a life, Kaldak.”

  “I don't. Not yet. But I'm trying. Just give me a little time and I'll get there.” He said roughly, “Go on, get out of here. But you can be sure I'll see you later.”

  She walked out.

  She loved him and she was walking out on him. At the moment when he was so alone. What would a man do when the obsession that had driven him for years vanished? She wanted to go back and tell him––

  No, it was too soon for both of them. There was too much pain and regret to overcome in one day. Maybe later.

  If there was a later.

  Epilogue

  Focus.

  Shoot.

  “No more, Aunt Bess,” Julie said plaintively. “I have to go with Daddy to the grocery store. I promised.”

  Julie hated shopping, Bess thought. The only thing she hated more was having her picture taken. Bess wouldn't have made her do it, but she wanted a picture to give to Tom for his birthday. “One more.”

  Julie's curly red hair was shining in the sunlight as she swayed back and forth in the rope swing. The composition was almost perfect.

  “And Josie's getting really tired.” Julie turned to the tiny girl in the sandbox. “Aren't you, Josie?”

  Josie nodded. “Tired. Real tired.”

  “See?” Julie said with satisfaction.

  Josie adored Julie and would have said the moon was orange if Julie had so prompted her. Bess repeated, “One more.”

  “Hello,” Julie said to someone behind Bess. “Are you looking for Daddy? He's at the house.”

  “No, I'm not looking for your daddy.”

  Bess froze. Then she turned around.

  He was dressed in a dark blue suit and looked elegant and civilized. Hell, he looked wonderful. “Hello, Kaldak.”

  “Can I go now?” Julie asked.

  Bess nodded. “But first you have to be introduced to Mr. Kaldak. This is my niece, Julie.”

  “How do you do?” Kaldak said. “I've heard a great deal about you.”

  “Have you?” Julie smiled. “Are you a friend of Aunt Bess's?”

  Kaldak looked at Bess. “Am I?”

  Bess smiled. “Yes.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Julie said.

  Kaldak's gaze went to the sandbox. “Josie? Lord, she's looking wonderful.” He crossed to the sandbox and knelt beside the little girl. “Hi, Josie. I don't suppose you remember me?”

  Josie smiled and handed him a red plastic bucket.

  “Thank you.” He reached out and touched the tiny gold earring in her left ear. “I remember these earrings. Pretty.”

  Josie nodded and then reached out and touched his cheek. “Pretty.”

  He blinked, astonished.

  She giggled in delight at the response and touched his other cheek. “Pretty.”

  Kaldak chuckled. “I hate to insult you, Josie, but there's something seriously wrong with your judgment.”

  “Maybe not. She's usually pretty perceptive,” Bess said. “You may go now, Julie. Be sure to get the sand off Josie before she gets in the car.”

  “I know that.” Julie was already in the sandbox, pulling Josie to her feet. “Come on, Josie. We'll go turn on the sprinklers and get clean, okay?”

  “Sprinklers,” Josie repeated, her face lighting up. “Hose. Umbrella.”

  “No, not this time,” Julie said as she started across the lawn, slowing her steps to accommodate Josie's tottering gait. “Not the umbrella but maybe the hose.”

  “Nice kids,” Kaldak said.

  “You bet they are.”

  “It's been over a year. I didn't expect to see you still here. Children's photos are hardly your cup of tea.”

  “It didn't hurt me to put my career on hold for a while. Julie and Tom needed me. I guess I needed them too.”

  “How's Josie really doing?”

  “Terrific. She's still in rehab, but you saw how normal she's looking. The Mexican authorities found out her grandparents are dead, and there aren't any relatives willing to be responsible for her.” She smiled as her gaze followed Josie and Julie. “So she's mine, Kaldak. I'm adopting her.”

  “That's great, Bess.”

  “It's more than great, it's a new world for me. What are you doing now?”

  “I've been very boring lately. I haven't killed anyone in nearly two days.”

  “Kaldak.”

  “Sorry. Actually, I'm heading a research project on a new virus discovered in the Amazon rain forest.”

  “More germs.”

  He shrugged. “What can I say? It's my specialty.” His gaze fixed intently on her face. “I thought we might
go out to dinner.”

  “Why don't you stay and eat with us? You can meet Tom.”

  He shook his head. “I want to be alone with you. I want to talk.”

  “You do? What about?”

  “Shoes and ships and sealing wax.” He paused. “Dammit, what do you think I want to talk about? Why do you think I'm here?”

  “Tell me.”

  “Do you know how much I've missed you? God, you look great.”

  “I feel well.” What an understatement. At that moment she felt as if she could soar like a balloon. “How are you?”

  “Good.” Then he said harshly, “No, I'm not. I'm surly and mean and impatient as hell.”

  “So what's new? You always were.”

  “You told Julie a lie. I'm not your friend.”

  “Oh, you will be.” She smiled luminously. “There's no way I'll have a lover who's not my friend, Kaldak.”

  He stiffened.

  She said unsteadily, “I've been impatient as hell too.”

  “Bess.” He was coming toward her and the expression on his face . . .

  Oh, God, she needed to remember it forever.

  Focus.

  Shoot.

  About the Author

  IRIS JOHANSEN has more than twenty million copies of her books in print and is the bestselling author of Fatal Tide, No One to Trust, Dead Aim, Final Target, Body of Lies, The Search, The Killing Game, The Face of Deception, And Then You Die, Long After Midnight, and The Ugly Duckling. She lives near Atlanta, Georgia.

  Bantam Books by Iris Johansen

  Fatal Tide

  Dead Aim

  No One to Trust

  Body of Lies

  Final Target

  The Search

  The Killing Game

  The Face of Deception

  And Then You Die

  Long After Midnight

  The Ugly Duckling

  Lion's Bride

  Dark Rider

  Midnight Warrior

  The Beloved Scoundrel

  The Magnificent Rogue

  The Tiger Prince

  Last Bridge Home

  The Golden Barbarian

  Reap the Wind

  Storm Winds

  The Wind Dancer