“Aria? Babe? What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. I’m fine. Go back to sleep. I’m going to help Chris feed and then I’ll be back.”
When I open the bathroom door, Jackie stands in front of me, worry etched in her exhausted features.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Just a bad dream.” My nightmare brought to life. I tie my hair into a tight bun. “I’ll be back.”
She calls after me, but I don’t waste a minute. Was I dreaming? Or was Charlie in my bedroom last night?
I knock furiously on my—Olson’s— front door. Much to my dismay, the house is silent. Eerie even.
“Hey, Ace. Are you okay?”
“I need to speak with Agent Olson.” Now. Yesterday.
“Agent Olson is asleep. But you can talk to me. I’d be happy to help—”
“No, thank you. I need to speak with Agent Olson. Right now.”
Derek tenses beside me. I’m terrified to look at him. At least he’s here. If things go sideways, he can drive me over the border or something.
The door is locked when I try turning the knob, but what surprises me even more, and quite frankly makes my stomach churn, is Derek pulling out his keys and sinking his key in the lock.
Who gave him a key?
It’s not important. Not now.
The sounds I make like an elephant dancing, racing up the stairs, would wake up anybody in the immediate vicinity. But Olson is a heavy sleeper. And I don’t think that settles my nerves any.
I rip open the master bedroom door and close the both of us inside, afraid of who might follow us in here.
Olson lies in the middle of the bed, hugging the pillow next to him, and snoring. Loudly.
“Lights, lights, lights, bitch,” Derek snaps, turning on the light. Olson stills and cracks an eye open.
“If you wanted to cuddle, Bubba, all you had to do was call.”
Who’s Bubba?
“We have company. Wake up.” Nate grumbles and sits up. His bare chest, sculpted in hard lines, strong pecs stare back at me. I knew he was ripped but I mean…hello, Agent Olson. “Put some clothes on.” Olson’s eyes land on me, and with a small insurgence of purpose, he pulls on the shirt next to him.
“To what do I owe the pleasure? And why are you here at the ass crack of dawn?”
Derek defers to me, eyeing me carefully. It’s then I realize he’s not even wearing shoes.
“Aria? Did something happen?”
I swallow the lump of tears in my throat. Derek has me sit on the office chair behind the desk while I try to find my words. Olson jumps out of bed, throwing on a pair of sweats and grumbles out of pure exhaustion.
While Nate gets dressed, I breathe, trying to collect my nerves.
I’m not entirely confident it was a dream. It was so…real. I could smell his expensive cologne and feel the force of his hand in my hair.
We follow Olson downstairs where he readies a pot of coffee.
“Are you all right?” Derek asks softly so Nate can’t hear.
Far from it.
“I think Charlie was here.”
He scans the property through the window, looking for any signs of distress. He surprises me by breaking his rule of not touching me. Can he tell I’m on the brink of losing my damn mind?
I surprise myself by not flinching away. His calloused hands aren’t rough and demanding, rather gentle and protective.
“What’s going on?” Nate asks quietly, dropping himself at the head of the table. He urges us to sit down, to spill our guts. I press my hands together so I stop shaking.
“I think Charlie was here last night.” Derek narrows his eyes at Olson, like he’s trying to communicate telepathically.
“Aria…are you sure?” Olson asks, with the hint of doubt lacing his words.
“No.” I lift my eyes to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if what I saw was real. You tell me; he’s donning an ankle bracelet, but I don’t know for sure.”
He sighs. “Okay. I can check the feed for you. But I promise you, he’s locked up.” He reaches for his cell phone, finds a name and taps on it, putting it on speaker.
“You’re a fucking dick, Olson! What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know what fucking time it is?” The voice on the other end gets everyone in the room to smirk.
“Good morning, Tanner. That was a lot of F bombs. Be decent. We have ladies present.”
He grumbles unintelligibly while the rustling of sheets on the other end sounds clumsy and hurried.
“Good. Now I assume you and Eve are back together so she can stop harassing me every day.”
Olson shifts uncomfortably, glancing at Derek and frowning.
“No, not Eve. I’m with Aria McKenzie and Dr. Hawthorn.”
The silence on the other end is deafening.
“She’s been calling you?” Olson asks sadly.
“Olson,” Derek growls.
“What do you need, Nate? Why are you calling me so fucking early?”
“How do you feel about breaking into video feed without alerting the FBI?”
Tanner sniggers on the other end. Keys on the keyboard clack loudly over the phone.
“That sounds like a fun fucking time. Where am I breaking into?”
“The video feed from Annabelle McKenzie’s room.”
The silence is back. It holds so much uncertainty, so much fear.
“He’s going to get me killed,” Tanner mutters. “What am I looking for, exactly?”
“I need you to look over the last eight hours of footage. Did somebody enter the room?”
“Give me fifteen. I’ll call you back.” Olson hangs up and reaches for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Tanner is the best in his field. He’ll look over the feed.”
“Will he be able to tell if the feed was tampered with?” I’m not putting anything past Charlie.
Nate weakly smiles. “Yes. He’s trained to find anything that doesn’t belong. There’s a reason I didn’t ask my team at the FBI.”
This should make me feel better, but there is something deeply planted inside my brain where I now have to question everything. My sanity included. This is a new level of torture.
“We can at least get morning feed going and then we can listen to Tanner’s findings together,” Derek announces.
I’m glad he’s here. It’s been so long since somebody’s been on my side. I walk with him down to the barn and start setting up feed while he loads everything onto the golf cart. I clamor onto the passenger seat and he drives. The monotony of feeding and driving takes my mind off of the chaos for the briefest of moments.
Chris arrives fifteen minutes after we set off to feed and starts feeding in the other barns.
“Have you talked to someone?” Derek asks when we reach the farthest paddock.
“I’ve talked to a lot of people since I got home.”
He snorts.
“I mean to a therapist.” I don’t need to see a therapist to tell me what I already know. I’m broken beyond repair. The only way I’ll move on from the abuse is when he ends my life.
“Yes. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
He sighs dramatically and climbs back into the driver’s seat.
“Why is that?” he asks softly. “You’re away from the people who would brush you under the rug. I believe you, Aria. I believe when you say he made your life a living hell.”
Tears burn my eyes. All I ever wanted was for someone in that damn apartment building to give a damn about what was happening in the penthouse. I wanted someone to come to my rescue because all of my movements were scrutinized. Because my access to help was taken away from me.
And now, this guy is telling me I’m not crazy. What I went through was real.
“And then what?” I croak. “I tell you about the horrible things he did to me, and then what?”
“You move on. You grow from it. You put it behind you.”
It’s never simp
le. Trauma lives with you your entire existence, whether you like it or not. The scars on my back, which I’ll never show another human being, are constant reminders I was less than human to a man who was supposed to love me. That I wasn’t worth the extra care and concern, I drove somebody so crazy the only release he could get was to mutilate my body.
“I’m not trying to make light of what you went through, Ace, but he’s on lockdown and you’re not. You have your life back. And maybe you can’t return to what it was like before you moved to Chicago, but you hold the power to blaze the trail of the person you want to be. Hiding away, becoming a spinster—that’s how he wins.”
My bottom lip wobbles.
“I’m scared,” I whimper. “Every time I close my eyes, I’m back in the grave. Or he’s slamming my head against the wall and none of our neighbors call the police.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “You’re home now. And we’ll all go to bat for you.”
I wish I could believe him. My father had to escape Sage Creek to get away from me. Annie’s in Canada until tomorrow, and my mom and Chris don’t know how to act around me. And Derek…
I refuse to give him more than a passing glance.
We drive back to the barn and Olson waves us over.
“I can confidently say the feed was tampered with. Their feed has been spliced and put on a loop. You wouldn’t have been alerted to it. Not without me.” Tanner’s voice filters through the speaker.
I feel like a bucket of ice has been spilled down my back. What I saw was real. I know it.
“And you’re sure?” Olson asks.
“I’m positive. I can keep an eye on it if you’d like. I can set up alerts for any movement in the room.”
Olson meets my gaze, waiting for my approval.
There are so many eyes already. Do I want to add another pair to the audience?
“I’ll let you know. Thanks, buddy.” Olson ends the call. “Are you all right?”
There’s one thing I’ve found comforting about Agent Olson: he’s never made me feel like an idiot.
He’s the only one who’s ever believed me about Charlie.
“No…I don’t think I am.”
“I’m going to call the Chicago team and see what’s going on. Everything is going to be okay.”
Yeah. So they say.
15
DEREK
The appointments at the office are keeping me sane. Exhausted, but sane. Bethany Hunt is the one client who comes in multiple times a week, trying to pimp out her daughter, and for some odd reason, she’s not getting tired of my indifference. Even when I’m firm with her, she laughs it off and comes back in the next day.
This town is weird.
Once Bethany is gone, I meander out to the front where Jackie is typing furiously on her computer. The empty waiting room is a sight for sore eyes. I lock the door and flip the open sign to closed and settle into the seat across from Jackie.
“Do we have anyone else on the docket for today?”
“Nope. Bethany was the last.” She stops typing and grins. “Hard day, Derek? You look beat.”
“Has she always been this pushy? How many times can I politely decline her offer to date her daughter?”
Jackie snorts. “That’s your problem. You’re being too polite. You have to be blunt.”
Being too direct with the women I sleep with ensures the message of no attachments is loud and clear. Being polite to the likes of Bethany Hunt, the town gossip is different. Everyone hates her. But everyone still listens to her. I may be the only vet in town, but I’m not risking my business because I want to tell Bethany Hunt to get bent.
“Do you have anything going on tonight?” I ask.
“No. My mom is moving to Seattle in a few weeks with her new beau, so I’m hanging out with her as much as I can before she leaves.” She smiles sadly.
“Hey, it’s an excuse to get out of this sleepy town for a week. You should use more of your vacation days.”
She snorts in reply.
“I’m serious!”
“Yeah? And who is going to run things while I’m gone? You?” She smirks victoriously.
While it’s true, I can’t run this practice without her, she deserves a vacation. I’d happily give her as long as she needed.
“I’m not just a pretty face, Jackie. I can hold my own.”
Rolling her eyes, she scoots back in her chair. “Are you letting me off early? Because I could shut down right now and be in my pj’s in twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I was going to grab a late lunch at Rhonda’s and head home.”
And run until my legs fall off.
I don’t have to tell her twice. She directs her attention to her computer, clicks in a few places and shoots up out of her chair.
“I’m leaving before you change your mind. Have a good night. I’ll catch you in the morning.” Jackie locks up her desk and strolls out a few minutes later.
When I pull into the driveway, I’m surprised to find Aria on my porch swing. She still insists on wearing the long sleeves. Not an inch of skin is showing.
“Hey,” I greet cautiously, climbing the porch steps and dropping my bag beside the bench.
“Hey,” she replies.
“What are you doing here?”
She shrugs and drums her fingers on the wood.
“You said I should talk to someone.”
I nod.
“So you went to see your shrink?”
She shakes her head. “Are you busy? I wanted to go for a walk, but Olson won’t let me out of his sight. I have a funny feeling he’ll stay away if you come with me.”
Yes. Absolutely.
“Sure. Let me change and I’ll be right out.”
“I’ll text him.”
I race inside and call Nate.
“She wants me to go on a walk with her.”
“Why?”
“It sounds like she wants to talk. She was waiting for me when I got home.”
Nate sighs. “Fine. Keep your eyes peeled, okay? Keep an eye on your surroundings and keep your phone on. Encourage her to talk to me if it has anything to do with the case.”
“Relax. It’s going to be fine.”
After I end the call, I change into a shirt and basketball shorts, the total opposite of what she wears. I lock up behind me and shove my phone in my pocket. She stands up and starts down the steps. I follow her quiet lead, wondering what she wants to talk about.
We walk through the front pasture, about two miles into the property until we reach a shallow creek. She sits down on the bank and takes off her socks and shoes, dipping her feet into the icy water.
I follow suit, waiting for her to make the first move.
“Do you ever wonder what your life would’ve been like if you hadn’t joined the Navy?”
“No. It was always something I wanted to do. It was always supposed to be my path. I don’t regret joining.”
She smiles and trains her eyes on the flowing water.
“I liked living in Chicago. Before Charlie, I mean. I felt like I had so many opportunities…all I had to do was keep my head down and focus.”
“What did you major in?”
“English.” She laughs. “I could’ve been anything.”
“You still can.”
She smirks and shrugs.
“Maybe.”
“What did you see yourself doing, Ace?”
“I don’t know. I knew I wanted to be successful. I wanted to prove to my parents I could live a life outside of farming.” She sighs, tossing a stone into the water. “I did. Right out of college, I was able to secure a good paying job and a decent apartment. Sure, I had to eat Ramen a few times a week, but I had a space all my own. No strings attached.”
And then Dodge came along.
“I made a mistake going after Charlie.”
It sounds to me like she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Once he had his sights set on her, it didn’t matter
what she wanted.
“Maybe I’m going to come off sounding desperate, but back then, all I wanted was to be loved. I knew my parents loved me, and so did my brother and sister. But I mean, I wanted to feel the love of somebody else…that romantic kind of love.”
I can relate. That’s what Emily was for. Everyone around me was getting married, and I was the odd one out.
“That’s not desperate, Ace. It’s human nature to want to be loved. It takes a special kind of person to be open to all the pain that comes with it.”
She shrugs. “My parents didn’t get together right away. It was years after high school before they found each other. Even then, my momma was a free spirit. She was a lot like Annie.”
This is the first genuine smile I get out of her.
“When you think of love, is the love between your parents what you envision for yourself?”
She purses her lips in thought. She pulls at the grass next to her, only to let it float from her hands back to the ground.
“No.”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love the love my parents have together. But I think what I was looking for was my own kind of love.” A melancholy smile stretches her lips. “I know it doesn’t make sense. But it doesn’t matter now. I have myself to work on. There isn’t room for love in my life.”
Disappointment pangs through my stomach, making an ache I didn’t think could happen to a guy like me.
“Working on yourself is admirable. You’ve been through a lot.”
She grins.
“What about you? You blame your lack of a love life on Zoey. What’s the real reason?”
A chuckle escapes me. “My ex-wife is threatening to move to California with Zoey. She thought I would concede, but now I’m pressing harder for sole custody.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “For both of you. Zoey must be devastated.”
“I don’t think she knows about it.” Em likes to use the element of surprise to dash Zoey’s hopes. “Anyway, being married once was enough to ruin the taste of it for me. My system right now scratches the itch for human contact. It doesn’t need to move any further.”
A teasing smile spreads across her lips. “Are you afraid of another woman hurting you again?”
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