“Wow.”
She giggles again and it’s music to my ears. I shouldn’t feel this naked, but I do. She’s found me out.
“Hey, I call them like I see them. You like the chase, Dr. Hawthorn. I posed a challenge to you and now you can’t get off my ass.”
“What can I say? You have a nice ass.”
Her melodic giggle has me longing to press my lips onto her porcelain throat.
“There’s usually some give and take during a chase. You want nothing to do with me,” I tease.
“I jumped you that one night.”
“That doesn’t count. You’re hormonal and you needed a release. I was the closest guy around who isn’t related to you or in charge of your case.”
Her careless shrug shouldn’t hurt so much.
“And what if I gave up the chase?”
I meet her curious gaze and arch an eyebrow.
“Are we having this conversation, Aria?”
“It’s hypothetical, of course. But let’s say, hypothetically, yes. Maybe I want a little of what you’re selling No attachments. A few more weeks of feeling great, both of our needs get met, and once the baby arrives, we go back to our lives.”
It’s tempting. Especially since I can’t get her out of my head.
“Hypothetically speaking, yeah. I like the way that sounds.”
She smirks. “And honestly?”
“Yeah. I’d want that. And what about you, Ace? Is that what you want?”
She nods slowly, contemplating the proposal.
“Yeah.”
She nervously lifts her gaze to mine, her waning smile threatening to turn into a frown. I won’t let her cry. She’s cried enough—and I’m not going to be the reason for it. Not when I have the power to make her feel like the queen she is.
“For so long, I’ve seen passion in two people. They drove each other crazy, but when all was said and done, their love stood the test of time, and distance. And sometimes some terrifying situations that threatened to tear them apart.”
“Your parents?”
She nods. “I didn’t hang the moon and the stars in the sky. I’m not the easiest person to get along with, I know that. But just once, I want to be touched by a man who isn’t looking to ruin my life. I want to feel like I’m wanted, to feel like there’s a part of me that’s worth redeeming.”
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” I whisper gently. Her bottom lip trembles when I tilt her head to meet my gaze—to really see me. “In my eyes, Ace, you’ve hung the moon and the stars. The way you are around Zoey…nobody has ever gotten that close to her. Not even Annie.
“When I tell you I want you, it takes every morsel of my willpower not to maul you in the middle of the barn because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I want to take up a little of your time.”
“Derek,” she whimpers.
“Maybe this is inappropriate. Maybe it’s too soon for you to be looking my way. But I know that when I’m around you, when you show me that microscopic glimpse of what you keep behind that stony exterior, I can’t stop wanting to break my own rules.”
“This is a complication, Derek,” her voice cracks.
“Just a little fun, Ace. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. If you’re thinking this is all one sided on your end, I promise you it’s not. I don’t spit lines. I don’t play games.”
“I’m not…experienced,” she murmurs. “Before Charlie, I was only ever with one other person. They were both…vanilla.”
“Vanilla, hm? And what is it you’re looking for, exactly?”
Her cheeks flush and she drops her gaze, toeing the concrete with her flip flop. Her hair curtains her face, a natural shield against me.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do.”
She licks her plump lips nervously, slowly inching away from me. I reinforce my arm around her waist and tilt her chin up. Her pupils dilate in the way they did when she came over to my house that night.
Why so shy, now?
“Tell me.”
She sighs.
“I want to forget who I am.”
A slow smile spreads across my lips.
“Forgetting who you are isn’t what you’re looking for.”
She sighs and drops her gaze, my finger falling to my lap.
“I want a taste of what you and I could have been.”
Her eyes water slightly. It takes a lot of guts to be vulnerable with a guy you barely know, let alone a no strings attached deal.
She wants to be treated like the queen she is.
“You are beautiful. You don’t even realize it, do you?”
Her Adam’s apple bobs nervously.
“I promise you, the time we have together, before the…baby…gets here, you’ll be treated like a woman. I’ll worship your body the way your idiot ex-boyfriends should have because you are a work of art.”
A few tears escape from the corners of her eyes. I pull her onto my lap so she’s straddling me and push her long hair behind her ears.
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
I chuckle and shake my head.
“There’s a first time for everything, Aria. Fortunately for us, we can treat it as such.”
I crash my lips into hers, the warmth of her sweet breath filling my senses. I don’t give a shit if the whole world is watching right now. I want her to know at this moment, she’s the only one on my mind.
I pick her up, her legs locking around my waist and bring her inside. I pray Zoey doesn’t peek her head out because she’s curious. I don’t want to have to explain that this isn’t what she thinks it is.
Aria’s cool fingers thread in my hair as she gently nibbles on my bottom lip. My hands palm her ass as I pray to the spaghetti monster in the sky I can find my way to the bedroom without having to put her down.
I’d die if I have to.
I clumsily walk down the hall, feeling around for my doorknob. And when I reach for the correct one, the cool air from my bedroom sends a shiver down her spine. I flip on the light which is like a douse of cold water. She doesn’t want it on, but damn, I want to see her in all her glory.
Silently obliging, I flip it back off and crash into her, gently backing her up to the bed. She dips below me and yanks my basketball shorts down along with my briefs. My breath gets caught on my throat as she strokes me, her hands working me.
She licks her lips and takes me into her mouth.
She’s velvety smooth, her tongue is heaven dipped in sin. She takes me to the back of her throat and gags.
“Holy shit,” I groan.
Her lips curl around my dick, and she licks me down my shaft.
Good god, I can see the light!
I push her head down further, and she gags again, her throat contracting around the tip.
“Oh god,” I groan. “Stop. Or this is going to get embarrassing, real quick.” I gently push her on the bed and kneel. I peel off her sleep shorts, the scandalous lacy panties I hope were just for me.
Her legs naturally fall open. I’m starving for her. I want to taste her release. I want her legs to lock around my head and threaten to suffocate me. Because if this is the way I die, I’d be fucking happy with that.
She shudders when I lap her up. She’s sweet like honey, and already her pussy pulses in my mouth. It begs for penetration.
And what am I, if not a gentleman?
I start off with one finger inside of her, gently stroking her.
Her breathing is ragged, and she covers her mouth with her hand.
“Don’t cover your mouth Aria, I want to hear you cry for me.” Ensuring her hand leaves her face, I insert another digit, bringing her on the brink of ecstasy. I bury my face in her pussy, inhaling her sweet scent, devouring everything she has to offer me. My fingers pump harder, and her cries get louder.
I remove my fingers and lap up her orgasm, greedily taking everything for myself. She scoots back on the bed while I hover
over her, crashing my lips to hers.
“Please, Derek,” she whispers.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me what you want.”
“You,” she whimpers.
“You have me. What do you want me to do?”
“Fuck me,” she groans. “Fuck me so I can forget.”
“Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.”
My cock throbs with anticipation. But we’re not fucking to forget. We’re fucking to create new memories. Because once whatever this is, is over, I’ll replay these moments in my head when I crawl back to fucking the women of this god forsaken town.
Her hazel eyes lock onto mine, welling up with tears.
“I don’t want you to forget this,” I whisper.
She nods and pulls me closer. I kiss her lips, her cheek, her long, delicate throat, her collarbone. I slowly enter her and watch the stress disappear from her face. Like…contentment. Like this is exactly right for her.
And it is.
This is all for her.
I make it a point not to talk during sex.
But I want to hear her voice. I need to know if she’s okay.
I move inside of her, her walls already contracting around me, squeezing me for dear life.
I move faster, basking in every stroke until she detonates around me. I explode in her and thank the gods I was the one around when she needed a release. That one was all for me.
33
ARIA
29 weeks pregnant…
Derek Hawthorn isn’t human. He’s some super freak with a perfect penis and insanely healthy sex drive. I wish I didn’t crave his touch, but I can’t fucking stay away. He’s a siren, one I wish I could ignore. But here I am, laying wrapped up in his arms while he strokes my hair.
This is exactly what I need. It’s the perfect remedy to all the hell Charlie put me through. To have a man worship my body like I was the one who created beer…or football.
“Is there something about the dark that makes it easier for you?” He asks.
I’m on cloud nine. I’m walking on sunshine. I’m the mellowest of the mellow. And if he would’ve asked me tomorrow, I would’ve been offended. But right now? I’m…content. I feel like a woman.
“I haven’t shown my back to anyone before. And I guess I’m a little insecure about the…bump.”
I feel his lips curve into a smile on my back. He moves my hair away from my back. His finger lightly trails the lines of scars, soothing the damage Charlie inflicted.
“I saw your back. The day I rescued you.”
I snort. He rescued me, all right. Got a free show out of it too.
“I don’t want to remember that.”
He presses a gentle kiss into my spine, gently squeezing my hip.
“Scars don’t make you ugly. And if I’m being honest, you wear pregnancy beautifully. You glow.”
“That’s called sweat. And it’s because I work outside all day every day.”
His breath explodes on my back, tickling my sensitive skin.
“Do compliments make you uncomfortable?”
I wish he’d stop reading me like an open book.
“People don’t compliment other people without an ulterior motive.”
“I’ve showed you all my cards, Ace. I’m an unlovable buffoon who seduced you into a no strings attached deal.”
I snort.
“I think it was I who seduced you.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “No regrets.”
His fingers trail up my arm, his face nuzzling my neck.
“Are you sure it was a good idea to do this while Zoey’s home? I kind of feel like this is breaking the rules a little bit…”
“A bomb could detonate, and Zoey would sleep through it. I hope you plan on staying the rest of the night... I like having you here. You’re warm and you smell like the beach.”
“I’ll stay, only because I’m too happy to get up. But I’m trusting you to set alarms so I can get back to Annie’s before Zoey wakes up.”
He nods, stroking my hair. I close my eyes in bliss. Nobody has ever done this for me before. I hope he doesn’t get tired of doing it because that would be a crappy end to my night.
“Derek?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
He sighs.
“I’m not a prostitute, Ace. Don’t thank me.”
I giggle and hug the pillow closer to my chest.
“I know you’re not a prostitute. I’m thanking you for making it easy to trust you. I wish I wouldn’t, but I’m the dumbass in your bed right now.”
“You’re not dumb. And…I feel weird about saying ‘you’re welcome’ to that. Kind of sounds braggy.”
I giggle and breathe in the scent of our sex.
His bare skin warms me through. Derek is a cuddler, and I’m sure if I announced it to the world, he’d deny it. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who likes hugging.
“What sort of…things…do you like?” I ask cautiously.
“How do you mean?”
“Like…in sex. Do you have a fetish? Is it okay if I ask you that?”
He chuckles.
“No, I don’t have a fetish. But I like things rough. Passion blossoms out of a person when they completely let go, like they’re doing this for the last time, and they want to make the most of it. I like raw. I like aggression.”
I swallow nervously. How can I be like that? Where’s the line? Am I supposed to choke him or something?
“Same question, and don’t bullshit me.”
I’m glad I’m facing away from him. This conversation is too embarrassing. I’ve never talked about this with anyone.
“I don’t know.”
“Close your eyes. When you see the two of us together like this, what do you see? Are we gentle? Am I selfish? Are you on top?”
I do as he says, my eyes grateful for the rest. So far, I’ve liked everything Derek has done to me. I like being on top. It gives me the control I crave. But I also like when he takes control. It isn’t possessive or animalistic. It’s…like it was meant for me. Like, he’s thought about this for a long time, curated a list of my flaws and catered to them.
“What’s your biggest fantasy, Ace? Don’t be shy.”
“I like being on top, though I don’t think I’m all that good at it.”
He kisses my back, taking one more giant piece of my heart I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up yet.
“You’re great at it. What else?”
“I don’t like being in the same position. I like when we move around the room.”
“And?”
“I…kind of like it rough. Just as long as you don’t choke me or do knife play or use whips or something like that. I can handle you pulling my hair, but I won’t take it well if you restrict my mouth or nose.”
I feel him nod next to me, his breathing fanning on the back of my neck.
“Did you like going down? You kind of took control on that one. I know it restricts your breathing…”
“I liked that,” I admit honestly. “You taste good. I like watching you be at my mercy.”
He gently pats my ass in retaliation.
“Okay,” he replies softly. “We’ll move slow then. I don’t want you to run.”
That’s the moment I know I’ve probably made a horrible mistake. But I’m warm. He’s spent the time after he’s thoroughly fucked me taking care of me, stroking my hair, talking softly to me.
It’s nice.
And I don’t remember what nice is like.
34
DEREK
A month later, I’m back to my regular routine now my brothers are here. Nate slaves away, looking for Charlie and coming up empty. All the vacant properties have been thoroughly searched, and still, he’s a ghost. He threatens the safety of everyone who lives on the McKenzie property, and although there is no sign of him I still feel like I’m being watched.
Aria works at the old papermill during the day since the drywall has b
een put up. Sometimes if I’m lucky, she’ll stop by and have lunch with Jackie and pretends I don’t exist. But don’t worry, she still sneaks over every night, cuddling in next to me.
I’m not a man who settles down. I’ve been there, done that and it didn’t work out for me. Instead, it affected everyone around us. But when her long black hair tickles my nose, I’m reminded of how right it feels to be curled around her.
At four o’clock, Jackie leaves for the day while I sterilize the exam room. There’s a timid knock on the front door, and when I peer out from the hallway, I find Aria waiting outside.
I quickly unlock the door and let her in, locking the door behind her.
“Hey, Ace. What’s going on?”
She shrugs, rubbing soothing circles on her belly, and then finally turning to me. She wants to say something, but something’s holding her back.
“We had our first meeting with the Live Oaks Foundation a little bit ago.”
She lowers herself onto Jackie’s chair and breathes a sigh of relief when she props her feet up on the desk.
“How’d that go?”
“We were granted twenty million dollars.” It’s like she can’t believe it herself, she’s still processing.
“That’s a lot of cheddar.”
She laughs and gazes at the ceiling.
“Yeah, it is. They truly believe in us.”
Who wouldn’t? Two women who lived a hell nobody else could ever properly explain, open a place for women and children like them to start over. Because Jo’s right, essentially. There’s life after abuse.
“What do you think about all of this?” I ask, dropping into the seat across from her.
“I…I don’t know.” She glances to me and gives a long suffering sigh. “The building will be finished in a few weeks. We’ll be gathering volunteers, running background checks, thoroughly vetting them…but Charlie weighs on me.”
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