“Peanut…”
“I wonder if he’s thought this through. This isn’t his child and I know his reputation. And with Charlie still on the loose…he could use Zoey as leverage.”
“Do you want me to be brutally honest with you?”
“Always from you.”
“I’ve known Derek since he’s moved in, and I’ve seen him with Zoey. Nothing flies past him when it comes to her. Even with a past like yours,” his voice trails off, waiting for the blowback he thinks he’s going to get from me, “He’s already calculated the risks. He wouldn’t jump into anything half-assed, especially when it’ll affect Zoey. I think he’s thought this through, Peanut.”
That’s what I’m afraid of.
He’ll mourn my death, and so will Zoey.
I’ll be a fucking disappointment yet again, but to somebody else.
“I joke around, but I mean it when I say he’d take care of you.”
Yeah. Maybe.
The front door bursts open and Derek strolls through and plops himself on the barstool.
“I have to get going JJ, but seriously, you and Annie need to talk about letting the cat out of the bag sooner rather than later.”
“Yeah…I know. See you soon, Peanut. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up the phone and begin cutting up the vegetables while Derek ogles me.
“What are you doing here? I have a whole kitchen at your disposal, you know. Plenty of freezer space.”
“Yes, but my sister’s refrigerator desperately needed a cleaning and I’m taking advantage while she’s gone for the week.”
He gives me a halfhearted smile, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“They’re not worth that much, I’m afraid,” he replies sadly.
I move the cutting board over to the stove and turn on the burner and put her biggest stock pot on the front burner.
“Come on. Talk to me.”
“If I tell, you Ace, you have to promise not to react.”
My stomach jolts.
“Okay. I promise.”
Not really.
“Charles Dodge Senior was arrested today. And so was Charlotte. You were right. The Montana property held all the bodies.”
When the oil is ready, I absentmindedly push the vegetables in to sauté as I process all of this.
“And the shelter was broken into. There are large holes in the walls, the wiring is all destroyed in your office…and there is graffiti everywhere.”
It takes me a moment to realize he’s telling me the shelter was vandalized. My stomach knots at the notion he was in my space—in a space that is supposed to help women from the likes of him.
“Aria?” He comes from behind me and wraps his arms around me, his hands flat on my belly. The baby kicks at the contact, and I feel his lips stretch into a smile in my hair. “It’s going to be okay…”
“You keep saying that but still, he hasn’t been caught.”
“I know.”
“How can you tell me it’s going to be okay when he’s still dismantling my life?” I turn around, wildly in his arms, my stupid, traitorous tears escape my eyes. “I told you he wouldn’t stop until I was dead.”
“But you’re not dead. I’m telling you he’s going to have to get through me to get to you.”
“I didn’t want to get anyone involved.” I sound like a spoiled child. I should be grateful he’s willing to put his life on the line for me, but I can’t help but be angry at him for putting his life on the line when he has Zoey to worry about.
“Baby, we got involved because we wanted to.” He kisses my forehead, even as I pull away from him. “We’re trained for this—”
“Then why hasn’t he been caught yet?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. I don’t miss the fury raging in his eyes. He’s trying. I know that. But I want to go to bed one time without worry that Charlie’s watching me.
“These things take time,” he says through gritted teeth.
“It’s been months!”
God, why can’t I shut up? This is an out of body experience. It’s like I’m watching somebody else yell at him.
“We’ve torn the town apart, Aria. We’ve looked in abandoned buildings, we’ve scoured the property on both sides of the road. We’ve extended our search to surrounding towns. But you want to know what he hasn’t done yet?” He spits poisonously, “He hasn’t put his hands on you.”
My heart stills in my chest.
“One of us is with you whether you like it or not, and let’s not forget you don’t like it, but he hasn’t once approached you or tried to steal you away.”
He’s right. He hasn’t. But…the pictures still get delivered. My office still receives visits from him when I’m not there…
“You’re upset and I get it, but I’m doing everything I fucking can to keep you safe.” He turns on his heel and storms towards the door. “Joey will be over in a minute. Stay put.”
He slams the door behind him, leaving me with only the sound of sautéing vegetables over the otherwise deafening silence. I close my eyes in frustration and return to the stove, putting in the chicken until it’s browned.
My phone rings with Annie’s name emblazoned across my screen.
“I already talked to your boy toy,” I tease darkly.
“Buttercup.”
My blood runs cold. Fear holds me in a death grip, threatening to take me out once and for all.
“Where’s Annie?”
“Funny thing about that. I’ve learned a thing or two from that techie you’ve got working for you. Novak. He’s a bright one.”
I swallow the screams.
“Anyway, I’m around. Not around Annie, of course, but you, I could never leave you.”
“Charlie—”
“No, you’re going to listen,” he hisses. “I’m outside of Sage Creek Elementary watching a certain fifth grader playing outside on the monkey bars. So sweet. So perfect. What a beautiful smile—”
“Leave her alone! She has nothing to do with this!”
Charlie’s dark chuckles make my insides cringe.
“She has everything to do with this. As does your doctor friend.”
Shoot me now.
“This is what’s going to happen, Buttercup. You’re going to meet me at midnight, at that god forsaken shelter you’ve opened and then you and I are leaving.”
“They found the bodies, Charlie. Even if I recant my statements, they’ve still got you on murder charges.”
“I never said we were going home. No, see, I have a nice little dinner set up for us. You’ll deliver the child, I’ll give the Hawthorn girl back, and then you and I are going to find a nice little cabin in the middle of nowhere to pick up where we left off.”
“And if I don’t come with you?”
“Then, I will come into that house, steal the girl, and kill her in front of the both of you.”
Derek doesn’t deserve this.
“The games are over, Buttercup. You are mine. ‘til death do us part.”
We’re not even married!
“You realize I’m being watched? More than Derek? I have a whole house of men looking after me.”
“And I have contacts in the FBI jumping at the chance to arrest them for interfering with a criminal investigation. All of them will be arrested, including your precious Agent Olson. He’s giving away company secrets.”
I close my eyes in frustration.
“Fine.”
He laughs, unhinged.
“Good. I’m glad you came to your senses. Father will be so happy to see you.”
Little does he know he’s arrested.
Dinner was painfully silent. Derek ate in the kitchen while Zoey and I ate at the table. I think she probably knows something is up, but I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m leaving.
After Zoey showers, she begs me to listen to her read a few pages
before bed. I agree, only because I know this is the last time I’ll ever see her again. She cracks open the fifth Heartland book and reads flawlessly.
Her voice is so happy, and she reads with such wonder. She tells me all the techniques they use in the book on the horses that live here. I say let her. Let her be young and learn from my mistakes.
“You think you could help me with training?” she asks enthusiastically.
No. But Annie can.
I smile, giving her that encouragement. “Absolutely.”
She grins and closes the book and sets it on her nightstand.
“I’m happy you and my dad are together. He needed happiness.”
“You make him happy,” I remind her.
She rolls her head and scoffs. “Yeah, but I’m his kid. You’re his girlfriend. That type of love is different.” She yawns and covers herself with the blanket.
I push her beautiful chestnut hair out of her eyes and smile. Such a beautiful girl, with a beautiful spirit. I’m going to miss her so much.
“Hey, Zo? Can you promise me something?”
“Sure…”
“Learn forgiveness, okay? It’s one of those things that will set you free from everything in life.”
She gives me a quizzical look and nods.
“I love you, kiddo.” So, so much.
I kiss her forehead and reach for her light.
42
DEREK
She exits Zoey’s room and wipes the tears from her eyes. She’s going to fucking leave, because of a stupid misunderstanding from earlier. Well here’s the deal. It’s not going down like that.
“Don’t do it, Ace.”
She glances up at me in surprise and freezes.
“He isn’t worth your life, I promise you that.”
Her hand stays on the doorknob, ready to disappear and lock me out for good. “Derek…I have to.”
“No, Aria, you don’t!” My voice raises without meaning to. But I’m losing control on the situation and she’s ready to bolt without even saying goodbye. “I love you.”
There. I said it. And I’m not sorry for it either.
She stares at me in disbelief, like I shattered her world. Tears fill her eyes, and she buries her face in her hands.
“No, you don’t. You can’t!”
“Of course I do. I’ve been dying to tell you for weeks. I love you Aria McKenzie. I want to marry you one day and raise this dysfunctional family with you. But I can’t do that if you leave!”
“We said no attachments,” she whimpers.
I want this to be hard for her because she’s not fucking leaving!
“I’m attached. I’m not sorry for it.” She doesn’t say anything, and it cuts me to my core. Did I misread the situation? Does she not love me back?
“Come to bed with me. Please. I’m begging you not to leave, Ace. I love you and I need you in my life.” Bravely, I step closer to her, closing the distance between us. My hands find her belly. The baby kicks in reply and a smile spreads across my face. “This is our kid. I’m not going to let the both of you walk out of our life. Not when we’re going to be the happiest fucking family that inhabits the earth.”
She sobs against my chest.
“I love you,” I whisper to her. Because the more I say it, the more she’s inclined to stay. I love her. I love Aria McKenzie as much as I love my next breath.
“Okay. I’ll stay,” she whimpers.
I tilt her head up so we’re staring eye to eye. Her watery hazel eyes are the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I slam my lips into hers and she loops her arms around my neck, her fingers tangling into my hair.
I kiss her lips, her neck, her chest. Each kiss claiming her, forcing her to stay with us. I lead her to the bedroom and gently lie her down. I’m claiming every inch of her tonight and reminding her why she can’t walk away.
43
ARIA
38 weeks pregnant…
It’s when I hear Derek’s deep and loud snores I know I’m in the clear. I’m up several times a night to use the bathroom, so getting out of bed to change in the bathroom isn’t going to be a big deal. The bigger deal is sneaking out of the house and not having one of the guys find out.
Once I’m dressed, I tip toe to the door and briefly glace over my shoulder. He holds my pillow close to him. His tanned skin calls to me, begging me to come back to bed. I wish I could, but I’m bringing too much trouble here. I’m not worth it.
Please forgive me.
I turn off the alarm and cringe when the chimes are so fucking loud. I pray he doesn’t wake up.
I sneak out the front door and watch my house for a beat while I figure out the best course of action. All the lights are out, save for the glow of Tanner’s ten thousand computers. If he’s watching, he’ll sound the alarm faster than I can say “Albuquerque.”
I walk slowly at first. My car is in Annie’s driveway, and I know there’s a key in the wheel well. If I run, the floodlights will catch me and give me away.
So, I shuffle.
When I get to the car, I keep the lights off until I hit the country road taking me to town. I take my sweet time, taking in every detail this dumb place has to offer me. I say a silent goodbye to my parents, my brother, the boys, Derek and Zoey, and the horses. I doubt I’ll get another chance at the FBI saving my hide, but I did it before, and I can do it again.
Right on cue, my phone is blowing up. I turn it off for good measure, not wanting Tanner to be able to trace me. How fitting it is to be kidnapped by my abusive ex-boyfriend at the shelter I where I work to protect women coming out of abusive relationships?
Jo’s going to be so upset.
Everyone will. But it’s for their own good. They don’t need the wrath of the Dodges.
When I reach the shelter, there isn’t anyone in the parking lot. I quickly turn on my phone to get a glimpse of everyone who is trying to get a hold of me.
Daddy called and left four voicemails.
Derek keeps calling, leaving voicemails.
And Nate.
I shakily touch Nate’s name and bring the phone to my ear.
“Holy shit, Aria! Where the fuck are you?” he shouts in my ear.
“Listen to me, okay? He was threatening to take Zoey, so I did what I had to do—”
“Aria, wherever you are, turn around. Come home. Zoey’s here and she’s—”
His voice cuts out when I hear Derek shouting Zoey’s name.
“Nate? What’s going on?”
Movement to my left catches my eye, and suddenly, I see Charlie grabbing Zoey by her hair and pushing her forward as Emily’s car whips into the parking lot.
“She’s here. With Charlie. Emily’s here too. She just pulled in.”
That son of a bitch! He lied to me!
I’m not even sure what Emily has to do with this. She looks too damn casual. That content, yet arrogant smirk she wears sends all my warning lights flashing.
“I’m sorry I got your family into this, Nate. Please tell them all I’m sorry. I’ll fix this. I promise.”
“No, Aria wait—”
It’s too late. I end the call and race inside. I start searching the empty offices, the damage from his last visit is still proof he was here not that long ago. The auxiliary building is all lit up. The building is eerie this late at night. Tanner will be able to tap into the feeds to see where I am, and hopefully they can get the police, or any noncorrupted agents in the FBI to take him out. Maybe they’ll find me in time to save my life. I’m not holding my breath.
I race in and find Zoey on the ground, crying hysterically. I sprint over to her and pull her into my lap, embracing her. Emily stands in the corner, stony; her judgmental eyes watching me like a hawk.
“I’m sorry Zo,” I tell her quietly. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Zoey cries hysterically and I barely can make out what she’s saying.
“Up, Buttercup,” he demands, pointing up with his index finger.
; Protectively, I set Zoey down and stand up. This is the first time I’ve seen Charlie since the day I left. This is a man I don’t recognize. Always so clean shaven and slick, now it’s like I’m looking at a mountain man who hasn’t showered in months. He’s feral, and the wild look in his eyes tells me we’ve already passed dangerous. We’re crossing the territory into lethal.
“You said if I came you’d leave her alone.”
“I lied.”
Fuck.
“I had to make sure you came one way or another. Your friend here tells me she’s fighting for custody, is that right?” He asks, turning to Emily.
Emily nods and approaches me. I shield Zoey with my body, though it’s no use. Charlie’s hand fists my hair, yanking me out of the way. My scream is muffled and pained. My stomach twists painfully when Emily yanks Zoey’s arm so she’s standing.
“Don’t do this, Emily. You’ll break his heart,” I plead. “You’ll break hers.”
She shrugs nonchalantly.
“I’m not going through months of red tape when I already know what the outcome will be.” She turns to Zoey and grins. “He’s not a part of our life now, babe. It’s just you and me from here on out.”
“I don’t want that!” Zoey screams through gritted teeth.
“All you had to do, Buttercup, was follow the rules. Now look who you’ve brought into all this. You sold my secrets like it didn’t affect you.”
“They don’t affect me, Charlie. They affect you. I wanted to go home, and you wouldn’t let me!”
“Do you honestly think that man loves you? Look at you!” he roars. “What man in his right mind would want you? Maybe you’re a good lay, but that’s about it. There’s nothing remotely interesting about you!”
The last year slaps me in the face like a tsunami. All of his abuse, all of his negativity settles into the nooks and crannies of my brain, reminding me of all the anguish that settles deep in my bones. All the hard truths.
“All of those men in that house take out people like me,” he spits. “Johnathan Rockwell, remember him?”
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 32