Given to Madness

by Fox, Winter

  “That’s good to know, baby. Because after everything I just told you, you’d be quite stupid if you decided to betray me.”

  I shivered, the room suddenly felt much, much colder.

  24

  Liss

  I could sense that it was morning, and I could also sense his black gaze on my face even before I opened my eyes. His fingers were absently playing with an errant strand of my hair, and I shivered—basking in the enjoyment of waking up next to Ilya. I should be afraid of him, I reasoned. He had admitted to me that he’d killed a girl who was younger than me. And that he had done it in cold blood—in revenge.

  But I could feel a strange sense of mutual trust building between us both, and I knew that he felt it too; otherwise he wouldn’t have opened up about his past. Or his plans for the future.

  I opened my eyes, and smiled at him. He frowned down at me inquisitively. “Are you still not afraid of me, milaya?”

  Shaking my head, I leaned forward to press my lips against his. I had no idea where my new-found boldness came from, but he made me want to be bold with him. Perhaps my lack of fear for Mariusz’s cold, dark Lieutenant would be my undoing. But right now, I couldn’t seem to get enough of him.

  He kissed me back, bringing his fingers up to wrap through my hair, and I pressed my naked body against his own, as he growled into my mouth.

  “Fuck. You’re too good, baby.”

  I whimpered at his words, opening my mouth wider to let his tongue take ownership of me, and he made sure that he took advantage of my offer. His free hand slid down my back, finding the curve of my ass, and I moaned into his mouth as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh.

  Then without warning he raised his hand and smacked my ass so hard I yelped—pulling away from him, scowling.

  He grinned, delightedly. Grabbing my wrist, and hauling me up off the bed. “Come on, milaya. Let’s take a shower.”

  “Together?” I squeaked, as he pulled me along behind him.

  “Together.” His voice was husky with lust, and I was suddenly sure that we weren’t just going to get clean together.

  Ilya tugged me into the bathroom, then let go of my hand to flick the shower on—waiting until steam filled the room before he stepped under the multiple jets of water. I watched the water trailing down the riven channels of muscles which sliced their way across his huge chest, and I licked my lips.

  He was beautiful.

  Raising his hand, he hooked his index finger toward him three times, in a “come here” gesture. And I obediently complied, stepping into the steamy warmth of the huge shower cubicle. His hands were on my body in an instant, his fingers quickly finding my nipples and tweaking the peaked tips.

  As I cried out in response to his touch, He leaned down to brush his lips against my ear, and whispered, “Do you know what I want, baby?”

  “What?” I murmured, as his fingers traced their way down my wet stomach to slip between my thighs.

  He teased my clit gently, the water from the shower helping his finger to glide easily across my sensitive nub. And he bit down on the softest part of my ear, making me cry out.

  “I want your mouth around my cock.”

  I froze—stiffening in his arms. That was something I’d never done before. I had no idea how to please him, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. I stared at him fearfully, and my hesitation obviously displeased him; because he increased the pressure of his fingers against my clit enough to make my legs buckle.

  He smirked, and helped me gently down to my knees on the floor of the shower, until my face was level with the hard length of his cock. Licking my lips, I stared up at him through the wet tangles of my hair. “I don’t know how.”

  He looked down at me through the jets of water—his body protecting my face from the spray—his wet hair was an oil slick surrounding his burning eyes. “Then you’re going to learn.”

  Fury swelled inside me, and I pressed my palms against his solid thighs to prevent him from coming any closer to me. “Why do you always treat me like a possession?”

  He hooked his fingers beneath my chin. Tilting my head back so that I had no choice but to look up at him, and stared down at me in quiet contemplation. I glared back at him, fully aware that my anger didn’t translate so well when I was kneeling at his feet.

  “Because I like the way it makes me feel. You know what I am, Liselle. I was honest with you, I’m not Prince Charming. And I’m not going to change for you.”

  Had I really thought that he would be different after he’d agreed to help my family?

  “And if I say no?” I snapped.

  His eyes swam with a millisecond of darkness, making me absolutely certain that he was considering forcing me to his will. Then just as quickly as it had arrived, the darkness disappeared, and he shrugged. “Then we’ll finish our shower, and go get breakfast.”

  I stared up at him, trying to decide if he was telling me the truth. If he would just let me walk away.

  “Is that what you want, baby?” His voice was like silk, as his hand moved to his hard length, and began sliding up and down the shaft in front of my eyes.

  Biting my lower lip, I whimpered. I wanted him. Fuck, I wanted him so much. I was curious to know how he would taste, and how he would feel in my mouth. Making my decision, I laughed softly to myself.

  He quirked a brow. “What’s so funny, milaya?”

  I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to do. “I was just thinking that you don’t need to force me to do things. You have this really messed-up ability to make me do anything you want.”

  He grinned, and his face looked beautifully younger, and so much less dark. “Perhaps you’re just a natural submissive.”

  The word submissive frightened me. That would make him a dominant, and I wasn’t ready for that kind of shit. Ignoring him, I tentatively leaned forward to let my tongue flick out and caress the end of his cock.

  It immediately twitched in response, and he moaned deeply. “Fuck, baby.”

  Encouraged by his reaction, I slipped my mouth over his wet tip, taking as much of him inside me as I could manage. He growled, and fisted his hands in my hair, holding my mouth perfectly still around him for a moment, before pulling my head back to look into my eyes.

  “Yes. Just like that, milaya.”

  He kept his hands wrapped around my hair, and slowly pushed my mouth back onto his hardness. When I reached the point where he hit the back of my throat, I lifted my hands to his thighs, trying to stop him. But he didn’t let me back off, he only held me there with my mouth and throat completely filled by him.

  Only when I coughed and gagged, did he finally release his hold on me, letting me pull my mouth away from him to catch my breath. I huffed in three deep gasps, and fired him a look of disgust.

  He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Sorry, baby. I got excited. Let’s do this at your pace.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, warning him not to overstep the line again, and he threw his hands up in mock surrender.

  Then I took him carefully back into my mouth, sliding my lips along the length of him. This time it felt a little less claustrophobic when he hit the back of my throat, so I edged him a little deeper down.

  Intuitively I brought my right hand up to grab hold of the base of his cock—steadying him so that I could tease my tongue along his length, before flicking it across his tip.

  He moaned. “Fuck. Yes, milaya.”

  Speeding my movements up, I took him all the way into my mouth, before sliding sensually back off of him—all the way to the end of his hard cock. Then picking up rhythm, I sucked him back inside, and this time I felt him break past the barrier of my throat to go even deeper than before.

  “Does that feel good, baby,” he murmured. “Are you developing a taste for my cock?”

  I looked up at him through my dark lashes with my mouth still full of his hard length, and he suddenly seemed to tip over the edge of his restraint. He pulled back from me
with a roar, before leaning down to hook me under the arms.

  He lifted me up with ease, so that I had no choice but to wrap my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist. Then he slammed my back up against the shower wall at the exact same moment his cock thrust into my soaking wet opening.

  Holding my ass cheeks tightly, his mouth fell upon my neck—nipping and kissing me—while he began thrusting inside me with quick, brutal strokes. The pressure building so quickly I couldn’t even speak. All I could do was grip on to him with my arms and legs, burying my face into his shoulder as though that would somehow stop my latest orgasm from crashing through me.

  “You’re fucking perfect,” he howled. Digging his fingertips harder into my ass cheeks as he kept up his relentless pace inside me. I knew I was going to have bruises. And in that moment of madness—verging on the precipice of ecstasy—I wanted those bruises. I wanted to keep the marks that he left on my skin while he made me feel this way.

  Then my body broke apart at the seams, as I was consumed by thunderous waves of euphoria. His ceaseless attack on my climaxing body, only sending me higher and higher in my bliss. Without realizing that I was going to do it, I struck down against his shoulder with my teeth, and he hissed in pain as I broke the skin.

  “Fuck,” was the only word he managed, before roaring out his own climax. And I felt the heat of his release deep inside me, marking my body as belonging to him, just a little bit more.

  25

  Liss

  Neither of us spoke very much during the rest of our shower, or while we hurriedly threw our clothes on in Ilya’s bedroom. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was more like we were using the time to preserve what had just happened between us. I spent the time trying to understand the way he made my body feel, and how it seemed to be so easy for him to do it.

  He finished dressing, and swiped his cell from the bedside table, before turning and holding it out toward me. When I stared at him in confusion, he thrust the phone forward.

  “I know Mariusz took your cell, and I need you to contact your brother. He should be ready to move at a moment’s notice.”

  I reached for the phone, holding it tightly in my hands; as though it was something much more than just a piece of plastic and metal.

  “What should I tell him?” I asked.

  Ilya frowned thoughtfully. “Tell him that you can’t stay here any longer. Tell him as much or as little as you like about Mariusz’s treatment of you. But don’t tell him enough to push him over the edge. I don’t want him doing something stupid.”

  I nodded. I wouldn’t tell Alessio about how I lost my virginity. I couldn’t.

  “You need to let him know that you have help on the inside. And that he needs to wait until that help can get you out.” Ilya opened the bedroom door.

  “I should tell him about us?” I squeaked.

  He huffed a laugh, and turned back to face me. “No, milaya. You definitely shouldn’t tell him about us. That is exactly the kind of thing that would push him over the edge.”

  I knew he was right. I couldn’t even begin to imagine calling Alessio and telling him that I was fucking the Lieutenant. He would go crazy.

  “Then what should I say? He needs to be confident that I have someone in my corner. But you’re right, if he knew about you, he’d be…” I trailed off. I had been going to say that Alessio would be horrified, but I realized how cruel that sounded.

  Crossing the room to stand in front of me, he reached out to touch his fingertips gently to my cheek. “It’s all right, milaya. I’m not offended. I know exactly what he’d think, and I wouldn’t fucking blame him—he’d be right.”

  I blinked up at him, confused beyond belief. If I had to testify in a court of law, I was certain that I would not honestly be able to tell them if I believed Ilya was a monster or a savior. The only thing that I was absolutely sure of, was that he couldn’t be both.

  He trailed his fingers along the line of my jaw, and as he reached my chin, he swept his thumb up to lightly pull at my lower lip. And I whimpered at his touch.

  “Tell him that you have the help of one of the Five. If he presses you on who, refuse to answer him. Say that me helping you is dependent on you keeping my identity a secret. Okay?”

  “Okay. When do I tell him to be ready by?” I asked.

  He let his hand drop away from my face, and I silently mourned the loss of his touch. “Tell him to be ready right now. I’m going to speak with my people in Siberia and try to push forward with extracting my family. The moment they’re out. Your brothers’ will need to move, and you and me will be right behind them.

  I nodded at him as he headed back for the door. I felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude for what this man was preparing to risk for me. “Ilya?” I called.

  He paused in the doorway, turning to look at me.

  “Thank you,” I said, softly.

  He smiled then, but the smile couldn’t erase the worry which creased at the corners of his eyes.

  “Call your brother, then join me for breakfast.” He gestured at the phone in my hand, and closed the door quietly behind him.

  I sat down on Ilya’s bed, smiling a little at the creased, untidy sheets—the evidence of our lovemaking.

  Silly girl, I internally reprimanded. We didn’t make love, we fucked. He’d reminded me on more than one occasion that he wasn’t going to be my Prince Charming, and I was an idiot if I believed there would ever be anything more than sex between me and the dark, cold Lieutenant.

  And why would I even want there to be?

  Taking a deep breath, I tapped Alessio’s number into Ilya’s phone; grateful that I could remember it. And I waited patiently for him to pick up.

  “Hello?” My brothers voice sounded wary, and I sent a silent prayer of thanks that he’d even bothered to answer to an unknown number.

  “Alessio,” I whispered through the sob which threatened to choke me.

  “Sorella?” He shouted. “Christ, where were you? I’ve sent you a thousand messages, and you never answered me back. I almost came over there with firepower.”

  I bit my lip anxiously. If Alessio had of done that, he’d be dead by now. “Don’t come. No matter what happens, you mustn’t do that. Okay?”

  He was silent for a moment. “Has he hurt you, Liss?”

  It hurt my heart to hear my shortened name again. I hadn’t realized how much I hated being called Liselle, until now.

  “No, I’m all right.” It was tricky to skirt around the truth. I needed to tell him enough to get him onboard with leaving the city—probably the country. But not enough to flick his stupid switch.

  “You don’t sound all right, sorella.” His voice had the tiniest hint of murder in it.

  I closed my eyes, trying to get my emotions under control. “He hasn’t hurt me, but he is going to, Alessio. I can’t stay here forever, he’s fucking insane.”

  “Do you want me to come get you? Right now?” I knew he was already jogging down the stairs of our home. I could hear his shoes as they clicked against each of the stone steps.

  “Stop, Alessio. The last thing I want you to do is come get me. You know that Mariusz will kill us all if you do.”

  There was real frustration in his voice now. “Then what can I do, Liss?”

  I pressed my lips together, hoping he wouldn’t push me for more information than I wanted to give him about Ilya. “I have someone here who’s helping me. He’s laying plans for getting me out—for getting you and Matteo out too. But we have to give him the time to do it.”

  Alessio’s voice echoed through my cell, as he lost his cool. “What the fuck do you mean you have someone helping you? Who? A fucking Russian? Because if it’s a fucking Russian, you can’t fucking trust him, Liss.”

  I stayed silent. Knowing that my brother needed a minute to work through his anger and mistrust.

  “Liss, are you still there?”

  “I’m still here.”

  “Who is he?”<
br />
  I shook my head—pointless because Alessio couldn’t see me. “If I tell you who he is he won’t help me. He doesn’t trust you, just like you don’t trust him. You can’t blame him, can you?”

  Alessio growled down the phone. “When you put it like that, no I suppose not.”

  I sagged in relief at his change in tone.

  “As long as you don’t go near his fucking psychopath Lieutenant then I’ll respect your need to keep this guy’s identity a secret. For now.”

  I cringed. If Alessio knew that I was currently sleeping in Ilya’s bed, he’d go fucking crazy. I had to change the subject.

  “Alessio, if we run then none of us will ever be able to come back here again. Are you sure that you want to do this?” I was certain of my brother’s response, but I had to give him a choice.

  “Liss, you didn’t reply to my messages. You’ve called me from a number I don’t recognize—meaning that he took your phone away from you. I know that whatever you’ve told me is only scratching the surface of what’s happened to you there. Of course, we’re running.”

  I closed my eyes, and gnawed at my bottom lip. “What about our home, Alessio? What about our legacy?”

  “We don’t have a legacy if we’re all fucking dead, sorella.”

  I had been almost certain that he was going to say it, but I breathed out a long sigh of relief to hear him confirm that he would back me, no questions asked. I knew that I was asking him to give up a lot—everything in fact—and I told him so.

  “I would give up everything for my family, sorella. Without you and Matteo I have nothing.”

  Tears sprang to my eyes. “Thank you, Alessio,” I whispered.

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “Did you have somewhere in mind to run to?”

  I smiled to myself as I replied. “Do you remember the holiday we took to Austria?”

  “Of course, I do. It was probably our best holiday ever.”