She sat down and stretched her feet. I took off my shoes and got right beside her. She was looking out at the sea. The wind. The moon. The stars. She closed her eyes as a gentle breeze blew against her face.
I watched her carefully, waiting for her to say something. But for ten whole minutes, she just sat there.
“I’ve always liked coming here,” she said. “It’s so peaceful. You know?”
“Yeah.” I listened to the waves crashing on the shore. “It is.”
She crossed her legs and sat up straight, turning to face me. Then she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, fidgeting nervously. She wouldn’t really make eye contact with me. Only a few seconds at a time.
“I’m sorry everything was so weird today,” she said. “Parker...” She chewed on her lip. “I’m not making excuses for him. But he’s really protective of me.”
“I have a sister,” I said. “I can understand that.”
“I know he hasn’t been the nicest to you. And I’m sorry he hit you. Really, I am.”
“It’s not your fault.” I touched her hand. “It’s okay.”
She pulled her hands into her lap. “No, it’s not.”
I furrowed my brow, not knowing what to say. I didn’t want to badmouth her brother, someone I knew she loved.
“See, there’s a reason he’s so protective of me. Why they all are...”
“Your family?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She kept her eyes down. “Something happened when I was younger.”
My eyes widened. I had a strange feeling in my stomach.
“I didn’t date much in high school. Guys just never asked me out. Mom always said they were probably scared of Daddy. Because he’s so protective, too. Or maybe they were intimidated by him. I don’t know. But my senior year, I really wanted to go to prom. No one had ever asked me to a dance before.”
I inhaled and kept my eyes on her, even though she wouldn’t look at me.
“There was this guy. Our fathers had done business together. He was kind of like an acquaintance. He was older. But he seemed so nice. I kind of had a crush on him. He offered to take me to prom.”
She kept tucking the same piece of hair behind her ear. Like it was a nervous tick.
“Mom went with me to pick out a dress. He came over and picked me up. He made me kind of nervous. He was just so good looking. I never thought I’d be able to go out with someone like that.” She shut her eyes and swallowed. “Anyway, he opened the door for me, helped me into his car. I was still nervous, but I was excited, too. I kept thinking about what it would be like when we got to the dance.”
She licked her lips and looked out at the ocean, breathing through her nose.
“He said he needed to stop somewhere on the way. After a while, I got a little anxious. I told him he was driving in the wrong direction. But he just kept going. It was like he didn’t even hear me.”
Blood was boiling in my veins. I clenched my fist and hung on her every word.
“He parked in the woods. I told him I didn’t want to be there. I begged him to take me home.”
She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling her knees into her chest.
“I had my phone, but there was no cell reception. I tried to get out, but the doors were locked.”
She stuck her hand out with closed eyes, like she was still trying to escape.
“He ripped my dress,” she cried, bursting into tears. “He hit me. He hurt me.”
I reached out to pull her under the shelter of my arms.
“No.” She put her hand up. “Please. I need to get this out. I need to tell you what happened.”
She looked into my eyes. I nodded and let her dry her eyes. I hated whoever had done this to her.
“Afterwards, he said if I ever told anyone that he would do the same thing to Penny.” She buried her face in her hands, gasping and heaving. “I couldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t.”
“So you never told anyone?” I asked.
“He put me in a cab and sent me home. Mom and Dad we’re waiting up. The minute I walked in the door, they knew something was wrong. So I told them everything that happened. Even what he’d said he would do to Penny. Daddy was so quiet. He told Mom to take me to my room.”
She seemed better now, like she was deflating. How long had she kept this bottled up?
“A little after midnight, I saw Uncle Austin downstairs. He was carrying a baseball bat. I heard Daddy talking to him. Then I saw Parker. They all left together. They were gone for hours.”
She folded her hands. And when I looked closer, they were shaking.
“I sat at the top of the staircase in the dark and cried. Josh and Penny were asleep,” she said. “I thought about what he’d said in the woods. That it was my fault. That I’d asked for it by wearing that dress. He called me a whore. But the truth is, that was my first time.”
I was so ready to kill this guy that I could hardly sit still.
“I’d always thought virginity was something you gave away. But that’s not true. It can be taken from you. Whether you want it to or not...” She gazed at me with weepy eyes, spilling over with tears.
“What happened to him?” I asked.
“Someone found him in the woods a few days later. I heard it was pretty bad. You couldn’t recognize him. All of his ribs were broken. And he couldn’t see out of his eyes.” She was almost numb, saying it.
She wrapped her arms around herself, rocking gently.
“On prom night, he’d picked me up in some fancy sports car. A Porsche or something. He’d told me he was borrowing it from a friend. But he’d actually stolen it. They arrested him for Grand Theft Auto and he went to prison. But he died before he’d served a full month of his sentence.”
“How?” I wanted to know the details.
“I don’t know.” She picked at the blanket beneath us. “I think someone in prison killed him.”
“Did you ever see him again?” I asked.
“No.” She looked away. “Not in person. But sometimes, I have these really bad dreams.”
“What happens in them?”
She gave me a stern look. “He raped me in the backseat of his car. What do you think?”
I just sat there in silence, shocked by everything she’d said.
“I’m sorry.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long.” She started crying again. Really crying. But this time, she let me hold her. She let me pull her into my arms and comfort her, reassure her that everything was going to be all right, he would never hurt her again, and I would spend the rest of my life protecting her if that’s what it took to make her feel safe.
“Do you think Ben and Austin and Parker—?”
“Yes.” Her lower lip trembled. “But I wanted them to.”
“Shh...” I rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair. This poor girl. I couldn’t imagine going through something like that. I had no idea what she’d been through. She was so strong.
“I’ve wanted to be close to someone for so long,” she confessed. “But this, this thing has always gotten in the way! And I hate it! I wish I could forget it, but I can’t. I’ve tried to block it out. I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried to live my life, but it’s been so hard. Until I met you... You’re the only one...” she sobbed.
I cupped her cheek in my hand, admiring her adorable face. She didn’t deserve this. No woman deserved this. I was glad he was dead. However it happened. Because now I wouldn’t have to kill him myself.
“I’ve never really let someone in like this before,” she said. “I didn’t know I could.”
I kissed her forehead and squeezed her tight. She put her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around me. We sat like that for I don’t know how long. I felt protective of her in a way I never had before.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered in her ear. “That’s awful.”
“I’m sorry I’m having a meltdown.” She forced a smile. “I just thoug
ht you should know.”
“Thank you for telling me.” I cradled her cheek. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You know that, right? I would never—”
“I know you wouldn’t,” she said. “You’ve been so patient with me, Carter. So patient.”
She cried on my chest and grabbed my shirtsleeve. A tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes. I didn’t want her to be in pain. Ever. The thought of what had happened broke my heart.
“I want to tell you something.” She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me. “I’ve been afraid to live my life for so long, because I was scared something like that could happen again. But all I’ve ever really wanted is to fall in love and spend every waking moment with that person. You’re the only reason why I’ve been able to do that.” She stared into my eyes. “I love you, Carter.”
I smiled and touched her chin. “I love you, too.”
“The only memory I have of sex is...” She looked at the ocean, biting her lip. “I don’t want it to be like that anymore. I don’t want to let him have that part of me. I want to live my life. And I want to live it with you.”
I held her waist in my hands. She was an angel. My angel.
“So...” She sniffled and wrapped her arms around my neck. “When we get back to the city, I want you to make love to me.”
I searched her eyes, carefully formulating my words. “Are you sure? I’m happy just being with you.”
“Yes.” She stroked my face. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I just—”
“It’s okay.” I breathed her in. “You did nothing wrong. You know that. Right?”
She nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose. There were tears in her eyes. “Yeah.”
“We don’t have to rush,” I said. “I’ll wait. If you—”
“No one has ever made love to me before, Carter. And I’m twenty-five years old.”
“But that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with—”
“I want to know what it feels like,” she admitted. “And it’s not just because I’ve never done this before. I want it to be with you. I want to share this part of myself with you.”
“Okay.” I held her in my arms. “If that’s what you want.”
“You mean everything to me,” she whispered against my chest.
I hugged her as a tear streaked down my cheek. “You mean more to me than you’ll ever know, Bailey. If I haven’t shown it at times, it’s just because I don’t want to scare you away.”
She leaned back and touched my face with her hands. “You won’t.”
We lay down on the blanket, and she burrowed her head in my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair and breathed. I was so lucky to have her. I wanted to do everything I could to make her happy. Especially now that I knew about the trauma she’d experienced as an innocent seventeen year old girl.
She fell asleep in my arms on the beach. For an hour, I lay there and cried quietly. I couldn’t believe someone had done that to her. My precious girl who I adored.
I had a newfound respect for all the men in her family now.
Ben. Austin. Parker.
No matter what happened, I would do everything I could to make her feel safe in my arms. She deserved so much happiness, and I wanted to give her the world. No one would ever lay a finger on her again.
If they did, I just might kill ‘em.
Chapter 14
Bailey
The sun was in my eyes. But I felt warm and safe. Wrapped in his arms.
I opened my eyes and he was already watching me. The man of my dreams.
“Hi,” I whispered, gazing into his big blue eyes.
“Hi.” He leaned down to kiss me as we watched the sun rise.
Last night had been painful. Digging up the past. Pushing out the truth.
But it needed to be done. Now the burden was off my shoulders. And I’d never felt better.
We had breakfast with my family. I really felt like they approved of Carter. I watched him interact with Savannah and smiled. He was going to be a great daddy one day. He caught me staring and winked.
And that’s when a pleasant warmth enveloped in my body.
Tonight, I would be his. And he would be mine.
Parker apologized to Carter when they were packing upstairs. I stopped in the hall and listened long enough to hear my brother convey just how important I was to him. Carter forgave him on the spot and they were laughing when I walked in. It made me feel so good, because I loved them both so much.
One day, I hoped Carter would be a real part of the family. Maybe then, Parker would understand.
The ride back home was a peaceful one. I rested my head on Carter’s shoulder, but I was too excited to fall asleep. I kept thinking about what I’d said last night. What we’d planned for tonight. Finally.
By the time we reached my parent’s house, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding. It felt like I was seventeen again. Only it was different than that. Better. So much better. Because I had a man who loved me back.
Carter opened the door to his apartment and let me inside. I’d been here plenty of times, but it felt different. He set our bags down and stood up, looking over me with concern. I moved close enough to wrap my arms around him. But he pulled back and gave me that same look. Like he was scared.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded and walked into the kitchen. “I just need to pick something up at the store.”
“Okay.”
He opened the fridge. “Maybe I’ll get some food, too. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” I said. “We could go ahead and eat dinner.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” He grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
“Hey.” I touched his shirtsleeve. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No.” He put his hands on my shoulders. “Stay here. I won’t be gone long.”
“Okay.” I felt so confused, even as he gifted a lingering kiss on my lips. I watched him leave and then stood in the living room wondering what had just happened. I’d told him I was ready to have sex tonight. And the first thing he did was abandon me in his apartment so he could get us something to eat?
I sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV. They were in the middle of an intense investigation on Miami Vice. Crockett and Tubbs looked good enough to eat. But I wasn’t in the mood for eye candy.
I’d been ready the minute we walked in the door. Why he felt the need to stall, I couldn’t figure out. But now I was in his apartment. Alone. And that was the farthest thing from romance in my mind.
I turned off the TV and loitered in the living room. I expected to find pictures in frames. But there were no photos anywhere. Not even on the fridge. I poured myself a glass of wine and sipped it slowly.
He was gone for over an hour. So I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I heard him knocking and got up, wondering why he wasn’t using his key.
“Bailey?” He yelled through the door.
“Yeah?”
“I’m about to come in. Close your eyes, okay?”
“Why?” I asked.
“Please.”
I’d never been able to resist the sound of his voice.
“Fine,” I groaned, shutting my eyes.
“Actually, could you go in my room and shut the door?”
“What?” I put my hands on my hips. “Carter, you’re acting really weird. Just come in!”
“Bailey, please. Just go in my room. I promise it will all make sense later.”
“All right.” I went in his bedroom and slammed the door, so he’d know I was really in there. Then I looked out the window. Carter had a great view of the city. I wondered what it would look like tonight.
Five minutes later, Carter knocked on the door. “Bailey, are you in there?”
“Yes. Have I been quarantined?”
“No,” he chuck
led. “Just give me ten minutes. All right?”
“Go ahead.” I collapsed on his bed and got under the covers. Everything smelled like him. I put my head on his pillow and recognized the scent of his cologne. A manly musk that I’d only ever associated with him.
I rolled onto my side and stared at his dresser. I’d spent the night here many times, slept in his bed. But I had the sudden urge to wear his clothes. Maybe I could seduce him by wearing his shirt. And nothing else. Didn’t men find that sexy?
I opened his dresser, but all I found were undershirts. Thin, white fabric. I had a vision in my mind for how I wanted the night to go. And a blue button-down shirt is what I was wearing in it.
The door to his closet was cracked. So I flipped on the light switch and let myself inside. It smelled like leather and cologne. I leaned my head back and took a whiff. Then I ran my hands over his work clothes. He looked so sharp and sophisticated in them. I’d thought so from the very first night we met.
I slipped out of my dress and pulled on a light blue button-down. It was soft, like a feather. And because he was so much taller than me, it fell to my mid-thigh. Perfect. I looked in the mirror and ruffled my fingers through my hair. For the first time, I wanted to embrace my inner goddess instead of living in the shadows. What happened that night in the woods had been bad enough. But letting it fester and keep me from ever physically loving someone for the rest of my life was much worse.
As I was putting the hanger back, I accidentally stepped on something. I knelt down to see what it was. A button had popped off one of his shirts. Since he was making me wait, I decided to mend it. He probably had a sewing kit around here somewhere. I opened a couple drawers and couldn’t find one. So I came out of the closet and looked in his nightstand.
Something glimmered in a way that made me take a closer look. I glanced over my shoulder, knowing it was wrong to go through his things. But I opened the drawer anyway. And my stomach dropped.
There was a gold wedding band. A man’s ring. It looked like it would fit Carter’s third finger.
An Agreement (Summer in New York Book 3) Page 16