An Agreement (Summer in New York Book 3)

by Lindsay Marie Miller

  “Bailey!” I ran after her, feeling it in my bones—she was in pain.

  The place was getting crowded, so I had to shove my way to the door. When I made it outside, she was nowhere. I ran around like a crazy person, calling her name. But there were just so many people.

  “Bailey!” I spotted a pair of red boots. “Bailey!”

  She was on the phone. And she hung up as soon as she saw me.

  “Hey.” I was out of breath when I reached her. “What’s goin’ on?”

  The moment she looked up at me, I saw tears in her eyes.

  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I touched her shoulder, but she jerked away from me. That stung.

  “I don’t feel well.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “But you can stay. I called a cab.”

  “Are you sick?” I felt her forehead. She was clammy, but stone cold.

  “I don’t know.” She moved away from me, still dodging eye contact.

  “You don’t have to call a cab. That’s ridiculous. Let me take you back to the hotel.”

  “No, it’s fine.” She backed away from me. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s really going on? Is it my father?”

  I took her silence as a yes.

  “What did he say to you?” I asked.

  “It doesn’t matter!” she yelled, getting upset. “I just want to go. I don’t want to be here.”

  “Okay, fine. But at least let me drive you to the hotel. Please.”

  She nodded, pulling her phone out to cancel the cab.

  “Stay here.” I touched her shoulders. “I’ll be right back.” I ran inside and grabbed the keys from Mom. They had taken Dad’s truck, but he didn’t protest. Which made me even more suspicious. “Did you say somethin’ to her?” I asked.

  “No,” he said. “We were just talking.”

  “And you didn’t say anything that would get her upset?” I asked.

  “No.” He didn’t even blink. “I don’t think so.”

  I exchanged a glance with Mom, knowing she’d drawn the same conclusion. It was the only thing that made sense.

  “I’ll be back later,” I said, heading out of the restaurant. Bailey was sitting on a bench with her arms crossed over her chest. I opened the door for her, but as we were driving down the road, she wouldn’t say anything. She stared out the window, lost in her own thoughts. The silence was deafening.

  When I got sick of it, I pulled the truck over on the side of the road.

  “Are you ever gonna talk to me?” I asked.

  She looked out the window, rubbing her hands against her arms like she was cold.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  I turned off the truck. “I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me the truth.”

  She stared at the ground, looking so uncomfortable it made me sick.

  “I know my father had something to do with this. I never should have left you alone with him.”

  Still, she was unbreakable.

  “What did he say to you?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Carter!” she snapped. “It’s not even about him.”

  “Then what is it about?”

  “I’m never going to be able to make you happy,” she confessed. “Not like she did.”

  “What?” I said. “What are you talking about?”

  She turned towards me with tears running down her face. “Maybe you don’t even realize it. But you’re still in love with her. You’re still in love with Vanessa. And I would just be in the way.”

  “Where the hell is this coming from?”

  “It’s written all over your face. Being back here. Her picture is in every room. Everyone loved her. Your mother. Even your father. Her memory...” she choked on the words. “I can’t compete with that.”

  I swallowed, feeling a massive lump in my throat.

  “You and me. We’re so different. But Vanessa was the girl next door. Sweet and beautiful and perfect.”

  “Vanessa was my wife and I loved her, but she damn sure wasn’t perfect! Nobody is.”

  “Oh, God.” She burst into tears, her chest heaving with every sob.

  “Bailey, calm down.” I rubbed her back. “Breath. Just breathe.”

  She looked at me. “I love you so much. But I don’t know how to make this work.”

  “What are you talkin’ about?” I cupped her soft, angelic cheek in my hand.

  “I mean, if it’s meant to be, it’s not supposed to be this complicated. It’s not supposed to be this hard.”

  “You think relationships are easy?” I asked. “If we want this to last, it’s going to take work.”

  “But what if we can’t make it work?” she whimpered.

  As her meaning sank in, I felt pretty close to the abyss. “What?”

  “I can’t do this anymore.”

  Every part of me went dead. She was ripping my heart out.

  “I mean, look at me, Carter. Look at me!” She held her arms out. “I’m not some sexy cowgirl with charisma and confidence. I’m a quiet girl from the big city. And I’m too shy to ever say anything.”

  “Until you met me.” I took her hand. “Don’t you know how beautiful and good and smart you are?”

  She touched my cheek. “I’m not what you need. I could never be her. And I’m tired of trying.”

  “I never wanted you to be her. I never wanted you to be anyone but yourself.” I pulled her into my arms, and we were both crying. “Can’t you see how much I love you? Don’t you know?”

  She was shaking in my arms. “But what if love isn’t enough?”

  That just about silenced me forever.

  I drove to the hotel and parked the truck. We sat there for a few minutes without saying anything. But then she got out and ran inside. As much as I wanted to drive off in a rage, I just couldn’t let her go without a fight.

  I went to our room and let myself in. She was already packing her bags.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, panicked that she could leave so fast, without a second thought.

  “I’m going back to New York.”

  Even after the argument we’d had in the truck, it didn’t really feel like we’d talked about anything.

  “Can I go with you?” I asked. “Can I see you when I get back?”

  She sat on the bed, running her fingers through her hair. “We’ve done this before, Carter. It’s just not going to work. And I’m tired of feeling like a disappointment.”

  “So that’s it?” I said. “You just break up with me and ride off into the sunset?”

  She stood up and glared. “I’m not happy about this, Carter! Do you really think when I agreed to come down here that I planned on walking out the door?” She burst into tears again. It was killing me.

  “Shh.” I pulled her into my arms, holding her close. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.”

  “No.” She leaned back and looked up at me. “It’s not okay. Not at all.”

  But then she went to packing again. It made me clench my fist. “So your solution is to just run away like you always do? Well, let me tell you somethin’, sweetheart, relationships are hard! They’re never easy! And if you’re just gonna quit because the goin’ got tough, then it’s never going to work with anyone.”

  She swallowed, trying to calm down.

  “I love you.” I moved closer, not caring if I crowded her. “I love you, dammit. And if you don’t love me anymore, then say it to my face! But don’t go running away just because you’re scared!”

  She shut her suitcase and zipped it up. It felt about as final as the swing of a judge’s gavel.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she said without looking at me. “I need space. I need time.”

  So I’d driven her to the point of no return. There was no going back now.

  “Are you breakin’ up with me?” I felt like I was about to hit the floor.

  “Carter, I want you to know that this has been the best
summer of my life,” she cried. “I’ll always love you.”

  I turned around, because I couldn’t look at her. “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave me out in the cold. Not like this. You would fight for me. Even if it killed you.”

  When I opened the door, she said, “Carter, wait.”

  I stopped in the doorway and looked back.

  “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”

  “You were the only shot at happiness I ever had,” I admitted. “But I don’t regret it.” I walked away.

  “Carter!” She ran to the door, sobbing uncontrollably. “Carter, I—”

  I lifted my hand to her cheek, wiping a tear away with my thumb. “If you ever feel lonely, you know where to find me.”

  I tore myself away from her, because it’s the only way I’d leave.

  Then I headed for the nearest liquor store and tossed the ring out the window.

  Chapter 22

  Bailey

  It was sort of awkward, sitting alone at the table with Carter’s father. We hadn’t said much to each other since he returned from the men’s room. Because I didn’t know what to say. I knew he didn’t like me. So I felt insecure and nervous.

  “This is a nice place,” I said, because I couldn’t bear the silence.

  “Yes, I think so.” He finished his drink. “I bet they don’t have many places like it in New York.”

  “No, sir,” I forced a smile, hoping to smooth things over. “None that I’m aware of.”

  He looked at his wife and waved. She stood with Carter in front of the stage. I wondered what they were doing.

  “Sally is so sweet. And Beth, too. I’m happy I’ve been able to meet them.”

  “Sally is a good woman,” he said. “And I’m very proud of my daughter.”

  I nodded, not knowing where to progress the conversation from here. So I went with the first thing that popped into my head. “Maybe all of you could come visit us in New York. I’m sure Carter would love it.”

  He frowned and leaned across the table. “We’re not goin’ to New York.”

  “Why?” I asked. “Have you ever been to New York before?”

  “I have. Sally hasn’t. Beth goes when she pleases, and that’s her business.”

  “Yes, sir. But I think Carter would really appreciate it if—”

  “Who do you think you are? You come into his life out of nowhere and all of a sudden you’re calling the shots?”

  I took a deep breath, trying to hold my own. It was something my father had taught me in business.

  Don’t let them break you.

  “You disrespect the way of life we have here?” he accused.

  “Sir, I meant no disrespect—”

  “Well, let me tell you somethin’, darlin’. Vanessa meant everything to my son, to all of us. And you ain’t never gonna take her place, no matter how hard you try. It’s different with us Southern folk. We understand each other. She knew him in a way you never will.”

  I shut my eyes for a second to regain my strength. “I would never try to take her place.”

  “Sure, you would. I see the way you look at him. I know what you want. Marriage. Children.”

  “Don’t a lot of people?” I said.

  “Let me clue you in on somethin’ and save you some time. Carter never plans to marry again. What happened with Vanessa destroyed him. He won’t risk losing another wife.”

  I saw Carter in the distance, talking to his mother. It looked like they were fussing about something.

  “You mean—”

  “I mean, even if he loves you, it will never be more than that. Would that really be enough to make you happy?”

  My head was spinning. “But we’ve only been together for a few months. At some point—”

  “At some point, he’ll tell you what I’m tellin’ you now. And he’ll break your heart.”

  I remembered the way he’d just acted when he’d bumped into Vanessa’s family.

  “Vanessa took a piece of Carter with her that he’ll never get back. And that’s just the truth.”

  I thought about how much he’d talked about her over the weekend. He truly missed her, and I’d been fine with that. But what if there was more? What if he could never love like that again?

  And I’d never have all of him? I’d never have what I needed to be truly happy.

  I’d been planning a future with him, imagining that he wanted the same things. But what if I was wrong? What if I’d misjudged everything? And while his father was blunt, I did believe him.

  “I’ve known that boy his whole life. So you should just leave. Now. Save yourself the heartache.”

  I furrowed my brow, feeling so vulnerable and out of control that it made me want to vomit.

  “But I—”

  “Look at yourself,” he said. “You don’t belong here. You never have. You never will.”

  I looked at my clothes. I hated to admit it, but he was right.

  “Stop pretending to be somethin’ you’re not. You deserve better.”

  “But Carter—”

  “Vanessa is the one he wants to be with. But she’s not here anymore. Think about it, if she were still alive, he’d be with her. Even Carter wouldn’t deny that.”

  He was right. It was only because Vanessa died that we were even together. I was just a back-up plan.

  For Carter, I was his second choice. But he was my first.

  It ripped my heart in two. Because it had been right there all along. I should have seen it.

  “I need to use the bathroom.” I stood up and went to the back. Thankfully, there wasn’t a line to the ladies’ room. In fact, only a couple of people were in there. And they were on the way out when I entered.

  Totally crushed, I locked myself in one of the stalls and cried. This was never going to work.

  Vanessa meant so much to him, there wasn’t room for anyone else. That’s why he hadn’t told me about her until I found their wedding photo. He’d hidden her from me. Now I understood why.

  I’d never had a husband, so I couldn’t imagine how he felt. Carter was the only one I’d ever felt that way about. If something happened to him, I would be inconsolable. I may never love another.

  Vanessa was that to him. And I’d never measure up. How do you compete with a ghost?

  Carter and I had differences. We fought—messy arguments that got taken too far. Was that normal?

  I’ll bet he never argued like that with Vanessa. They probably got along much better, because they were compatible. She was his soulmate. He was hers. For every person, they only make one.

  So where did that leave me?

  Alone. I’d never been his. Not really. He cared about me, but not like that.

  His father was right. Better to end it now, then end up even more heartbroken in the end.

  Someone came into the bathroom, so I went to the sink and dried my eyes. When I looked in the mirror, a new flood of tears came. I looked ridiculous. I looked like a joke. And I felt like a fool.

  That’s why I walked out with my head down, even as I heard Carter calling my name. I wanted to take a cab. But I also couldn’t tell him no, not when I looked into those big blue eyes. So I let him drive me.

  And then everything came bubbling to the surface. One crack. Then another. We were breaking.

  But that’s just the thing. It wasn’t the first time we’d had problems. Our relationship had been on thin ice when we left New York. Like a row of dominoes, one thing had been going wrong after the next.

  It was a chain reaction. And I couldn’t stop us from falling apart anymore.

  We were a house of cards. And I watched slowly—one by one—as it all came crashing down.

  “If you ever feel lonely, you know where to find me.”

  I watched him walk away, the touch of his hand lingering on my cheek. My feet were like bricks, tied down to the floor. I couldn’t move. And when he disappeared from view, it ripped me in two.<
br />
  I shut the door and took a few steps, collapsing to the floor. When the tears came, they were the soul-shredding kind. I’d never experienced pain like this before. My soul was split in half.

  A part of me would always be with him.

  I cried forever, retracing every move I’d made. If I’d said this... If I’d done that... But would it have really made any difference? If Carter and I were meant to be together, then we wouldn’t have just broken up. We would have found a way to make it work. We would have gotten through this together.

  But everything had torn us apart. And I wasn’t even surprised.

  I should have seen this coming. It had been a perfect summer. Even when it wasn’t.

  But summer would soon be over. Sadly, it had taken us with it.

  When someone banged on the door, I was so out of it, it took a few minutes to process.

  Thinking of Carter, I got up and ran to the door. But when I opened it, his sister was standing on the other side. For the first time since we’d met, she didn’t look very happy to see me.

  “What’s this I hear about you breakin’ my brother’s heart?” she asked.

  “Beth, I never wanted to hurt Carter. It’s complicated.”

  “Well, why don’t you let me in and explain why?”

  I took a step back and she entered. As I shut the door, she looked around. I wondered what Carter had told her. There are two sides to every story. I knew mine. What had been his?

  “This is a nice room,” Beth said, sitting down on the bed.

  “I know.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Carter booked it.”

  She took a breath. “What happened, Bailey? Can’t you see how perfect you guys are together?”

  “Nothing is perfect.” I sat on the edge of the bed. “But I really tried to make it work.”

  “Then what happened?” she asked, pleading with me. “Please tell me.”

  I’d already changed into jeans and a t-shirt, something that felt more like me. When I made the switch, I’d felt immediate relief. I no longer had to be the girl Carter wanted me to be. I could be myself again, which was all I’d ever wanted. Maybe that’s what he had wanted too. Who knows?