by K. C. Stone
“Hell, yeah, he is! But you can tell by his smile he knows just how sexy he is,” I say, knowing exactly what boys like that are after.
“Let’s head back out before people start looking for us,” I say. For some reason, I have the urge to put distance between me and the sexy mystery man in the shower.
Walking through the clubhouse, an uncomfortable feeling creeps across my skin. Eyes follow me as I make my way across the room. I hate being a mobster’s daughter sometimes and it’s even worse when you are the princess. People act differently, and they treat you differently. You’re so fragile that one little thing could happen and you could break.
“Hey! Wake up, girl.” Nora nudges me
“Sorry, I was daydreaming,” I say, shrugging my shoulder.
“What? It beats being here. I am so ready to leave this joint!” I yell slightly louder than I thought, trying to be heard over the music.
“Look!” Nora yells, pointing in the direction of a group of bikers.
“Ohhhhh! It’s mister sexy shower man,” Natalia whispers, “And look at what he has on.”
“No shit, sherlock! We were in his room, remember,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Of course, he is a member.” I just did not realize how high up he sat. I think to myself.
“I’ll be back, okay,” I say, walking away toward the back door. I just need to escape outside so I can breathe.
I love being outside, the way the air fills my lungs as I take my first deep breath, the chill in the air causing a little sting.
I make my way to the small playground in the far corner of the compound. The swing’s calling my name. Looking up at the moon, I imagine life differently than it is right now. I picture what it could be, how it could be, and it always ends up the same, staring into a pair of deep emerald green eyes.
“It’s a beautiful night.” I hear turning around. I am stunned to see McSteamy from earlier standing in front of me.
“Excuse me?” I ask, completely forgetting he was talking to me, internally chastising myself for staring at him.
“I said it’s a beautiful night, yeah?”
“Right, oh yeah, it’s beautiful. Would you like to sit?”
“Thanks,” he says with a wink and a crooked smile.
Shit, there went my panties. They melted right off just with a wink.
I can tell that he has a slight accent, I just can’t pinpoint where he is from, but damn I could listen to him talk forever.
“Sorry, I should probably introduce myself,” I say, sticking out my hand. “I’m Cara,” I tell him.
“Locke,” he says, reaching for my hand.
His eyes are giving away the acknowledgment that he knows who I am. The explosion that followed was breathtaking. When our hands made contact, the electricity traveled up my arm, causing goosebumps to break out all over my skin.
Looking down at my feet as I dig them into the mulch, I ask, “What’s your real name?”
I give him a slight smile and the one he gives me in return disarms me. “Matthew,” he says, brushing a stray hair from my face.
“Well, Matthew, thanks for keeping me company.”
“My pleasure, you aren’t much of a big party girl, are you?” he indicates.
“No, I remember when I was a little girl, I would swing at night, talking to the moon and just drift away to somewhere else,” I tell him.
“Come,” he says, reaching out, taking my hand leading me away from the swings.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask, curious because I don’t know this man but something inside of me is begging to get to know him.
“I am taking you to my favorite spot on the compound,” he tells me, dragging me to the empty clearing.
“Come here,” he says, pulling me down in between his muscle clad legs.
“Look up at the stars now,” he says, and I pliantly follow orders. The sight above takes my breath away. In the small clearing you can see every star and the moon shines high above the trees casting a glow onto the branches.
“It’s gorgeous,” I whisper.
“You’re gorgeous,” he whispers in my ear, causing a shiver down my spine.
“I wish it could stay like this forever,” I say because I have never had a moment feel so right. I never wanted it to end.
From that day forward, life was perfect. We spent every waking moment together.
That was until we woke up. That was when the real nightmares began.
Chapter Three
Locke
Six months later
“Matthew, we need to talk,” she says, her eyes downcast playing with her fingers and she is right. We do.
“You’re right. We need to talk,” I tell her stealing my resolve. Things have been really bad here and I can’t . . . I will not risk anything happening to her.
“Matthew, what’s the matter?” she asks. The pained look in her eyes causes a lump to rise in my throat.
“You can’t stay. I will not have you be a part of this. It is way too dangerous. I want you to go,” I tell her hoping she understands my tone.
“Why, I told you I am not scared of any of this? I can handle this as long as I am with you,” she says and for a second, I almost cave.
“No, you need to go and not look back. I will not let any of this touch you. I want you to go,” I reiterate.
“I love you, Matthew,” she says.
“I don’t love you,” I lie, the look of heartbreak in her eyes was momentary, but when she stands heading out of the room, I know what I did was right. She is too good for my world; she turns at the door and looks me in the eye.
“You are a bad liar, Locke, but to hell with you, I will give you what you want,” and she is gone. Her calling me Locke split my chest wide open.
Staring at the empty doorway, I am numb. I know this is what needed to happen, but she calmed the devil inside of me and now she is gone.
If only I knew that forcing her to leave would place her front and center into my world. I would have never let her go.
Chapter Four
Cara
Ten months later
I think about him often but with the passion and love comes the hurt and all the pain that comes with him. I still hear his words echoing in my head. I don’t love you!
Sometimes our plans just don’t turn out the way we want them to, I dreamed of a love so strong and secure that nothing could break it and now I am lying here alone. I know that this was the best decision that he could have ever made for me. She shouldn’t be a part of that world; I couldn’t risk anything ever happening to her. She is my lifeline, the one tie I have to the past. She is the love we had and the passion we shared for each other; she is my future.
Looking down into the most beautiful, brilliant green eyes I have ever seen, my heart breaks when I look into them. I know I will only see him there. It is like looking into his eyes, the most piercing soul-searching eyes. The only thing she has of mine is her hair color, the dark mass on top of her head mixed with her emerald green and gold eyes.
Her cry tells me she will be a force to be reckoned with when she is older, strong and forceful. Her cry has me walking toward her incubator, looking down at my precious baby girl. Leaning in, I place a kiss on her sweet forehead. I love you, my precious Jules.
Chapter Five
Locke
18 years later
I am pacing back and forth, feeling the anger mixed with sadness and fear. Fear of losing her again but angry that she waited until she was in the hospital and fucking eighteen years later to tell me that we had a daughter, no I am sorry, that we have a motherfucking daughter!
When I finally broke down and followed Cara’s instructions, I about lost it. I knew when I found the silver filigree box engraved with the letter C on it hidden in the back of her closet. The one that was locked with the exact same necklace I gave her. I had found it walking through the shops one day and it was perfect a small silver lock and key, engraved with forever on th
e back
Looking at the box, I knew I couldn’t open it yet because I had the only thing that would. Grabbing the box, I stashed it on the back of my bike and took off to the compound. Not only was I about to dig out that old key, but I was about to dig up the past.
Who the fuck knows just what I would find?
Sitting on my bed, I open it. From that moment, I knew I was fucked. The first wave of emotions hit me, the smell that came from the box; it was her smell. I know that scent; it smells like flowers mixed with honey and sunshine (yes, I know I am a little bitch sometimes). Moving past, my heart stopped on everything. Inside the silver chest, years of letters and information about Jules, photos of a chubby toddler learning how to walk, I moved to the next one, photos of her holding Jules, newborn nursery photos. Then after reading just one of the letters. It all made sense when she walked away all those years ago. Cara was pregnant, and I was fucked.
Her words echoing around in my skull, ‘When I left, I wasn’t alone’.
“Motherfucker!!!” I slammed the box shut like it was on fire and the lid burned my finger.
“That’s what she fucking meant,” I yelled to no one, pissed off at the world right now and Cara for not trying harder to tell me.
I lifted the lid again, looking through the box more, letters after letters, there had to be a least a hundred letters here. Every one addressed to me.
In the bottom of the box was a baby photo, a small dark-haired girl with ringlets and fierce emerald eyes, ones with tiny gold flecks in them. Ones that I am very familiar with because I see them every time I look into the mirror. I sat on the bed and cried. That’s right, I fucking cried like a baby, why because the woman I loved left me and took my kid with her. No, she did not leave me. I pushed her away and she took my daughter with her. One I had no idea about, who has lived a life that got her kidnapped and almost sold, not to mention the man that raised her was a piece of shit.
Opening the last letter, I let the anger subside. I don’t know if I will ever understand why but I will try. It may have to wait until Cara gets out of the hospital because then we will have a talk. I put the box in a safe place and exit my room with an even bigger secret.
I need a fucking vacation.
I watch Jules from the hospital room door, talking to Cara in the bed, everything inside me wanting to rush over and hug her, protect her with everything I have. She might not know it but now that the truth is out, she has an entire club protecting her. Everything I have is now hers.
Cara looks up, meeting my eyes. I give her a curt nod.
“Jules and Grace, I need to talk to Matthew for a moment, okay,” she says, brushing Jules’ cheek with the back of her hand.
As they walk by, I reach out and grab Jules’ arm.
“Don’t go far. Not all the boys are here, so I can’t cover you girls, if you scatter, so stay close,” I warn her and when I look into her eyes, my anger soars again.
I walk over, taking a minute before I can say anything taking into account everything she has been through the past few months.
Taking a seat next to her, I try and rein in my emotions but they are on the brink of crashing down.
“I am so sorry,” she whispers. Tears fall down her cheeks and just like that, my anger deflates. She still has that effect on me; after eighteen years, she still has that much effect over me.
“Why,” was all I could get out. Quickly wiping at a stray tear that escaped before she could see what I did.
“I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you that day but instead, you pushed me away and that is no excuse, believe me, I regret not telling you years ago. After I left, I was broken and angry. You didn’t want me around so I kept telling myself that you wouldn’t want her around either,” she says, tears welling up in her eyes.
“That was for me to say not you, I would never have not wanted my kid around, but you never asked so instead, you let some asshole raise her and I will never get the chance to. She has no clue, does she?” I bite my words, trying to keep my voice low enough so she doesn’t hear.
“No, she has no idea, I thought about telling her even when she was younger, but it never seemed like a good enough time,” she says, the tears spilling over rolling down her cheeks.
I close my eyes, fighting back the urge and anger, clutching my fists, fighting back every instinct that I have.
“Please don’t hate me, Matthew,” she says, putting her hand on mine. When her skin touched mine, the fire that died when she left all those years ago ignited once again.
“I don’t hate you; I could never hate you; I am just angry, Angel. I am hurt because you stole something from me that I will never get back,” I say, walking out of the room needing to calm down, putting some distance between us.
Chapter Six
Cara
It has been weeks since I have been released from the hospital, since Sal’s funeral and since I moved into the clubhouse, radio silence on all fronts. Still Matthew has said nothing about Jules, nothing about the atomic bomb I gave him. We talk, act like nothing has ever happened but the fire is still there when we touch. We both agreed focusing on getting the girls and myself better is a priority, but if I am truthful my heart stayed with him all those years ago. Every time I hear his laugh or see his smile my breath catches in my throat and my lungs feel like they are on fire.
One night it was late and the girls and I were watching a movie and they had all fallen asleep. When he came in fresh from the shower, I must have fallen asleep, when I felt soft fingers graze my face, moving fallen hair from my face.
His fingers felt feather soft, I reached up grazing his fingers with mine. The way his hand cups my cheek applying gentle pressure makes me weak, his smile slight and timid but not quite reaching his eyes.
He leans down pressing his lips against my forehead, his lips soft and supple I fight the urge to pull him down placing my lips over his. He leans up just as I sit forward.
“Matthew, we need to talk about what happened,” I swallow and his eyes darken and his face falls.
“Not yet,” he says before he pulls away and leaves the room.
My head falls back smacking it on the frame of the couch. “Son of a bitch,” I yell causing the girls to stir. I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out some way for Matthew to forgive me, some way for him to somehow talk to me.
“So, what’s up with you two,” I hear, and Jules is awake staring dead at me. Her emerald eyes shooting through me like lasers.
“Nothing. Just ghosts from the past trying to resurface, it’s okay go back to sleep,” I tell her hoping it will be enough to stop her curiosity.
“Yeah, Mom, I’m not stupid. I see how you look at him, and how he looks at you.” At that moment I realize that she is aware of more than I thought. Fuck!
“Go to bed, princess,” I say, kissing her head, making my way back to my room.
I can’t tell if it is the noise down the hall or the thought of what he is doing that has my nerves on edge, causing my stomach to be tied in knots. When I heard that he was having a club party my stomach dropped, I know what that means, I know what happens at these parties, Sal was a regular party guy except he was never discreet about it.
I will not go out there, I will not go out there, I will not go out there. I repeat to myself out loud wandering around my room. It’s because you are afraid of what you will see, I think to myself.
Fuck it! I march out of my room, past the loud music and skanky women plastering themselves to all the brothers, and head outside. Just past the main room I take a deep breath it wasn’t too bad Sal’s parties seemed to be a lot more wild and disgusting.
I push open the back door of the compound when I come face to back with Matthew, freshly showered, my favorite worn out jeans and no shirt.
I nearly pass out from lack of oxygen, I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I heard her.“Umm move, we need to get through.” Her tone dripping full of venom.
I open my mo
uth to say something when I see her snake her long, fake, blood red nails around his chest.
Everything in my stomach lurched to come out. I know when he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, he didn’t expect me to come out and see this but I did and I can’t erase the image of her wrapped around him.
“Excuse me,” I say, pushing past them. The night air hits my lungs and they freeze as I turn back watching them.
“Get out.” I hear as Matthew points toward the door yelling at the woman he was just with.
“You need to leave and never come fucking back here again.” I hear him yell when she protests his rejection.
My vision is blurry when she runs off and he looks up at me with emerald eyes full of pity. I shake my head and make my way to my favorite clearing on the compound.
Chapter Seven
Locke
“Yo, Boss!”
I hear followed by rapid pounding on the door interrupting me as I am pounding away on the always ready sweet butt I have bent over my desk. Something to pass the time, until I can figure this shit out. What more do you want from a piece of ass right?
I know what I am doing is fucked up, but I don’t give a damn right now.
“Fuck, What?” I shout, continuing to hammer away, chasing that mindless moment that temporarily makes me forget all the shit I have on my plate.
Bang! Bang! Bang! “Boss, I really hate to interrupt but you really need to get the fuck out here!” I hear from the other side.
“Damn it!” I yell, pulling out of the chick I was currently balls deep in. Fuck, what was her name? Was it, Candi, or Cherri some fucked up food name? Without looking up, I zip my jeans and open the door. “Out!” I demand, causing her to jump, grabbing her clothes and running out of the room.