by K. C. Stone
“Goodnight, angel baby,” I say, kissing each cheek getting a small laugh from him, pulling him into my arms as he nestles his head against my shoulder.
“Wow, he laughed,” Locke says, looking at him in awe.
“Yes, honey, he is six weeks old he will start to do that.
“You want to read him the bedtime story?” she asked. Shrotly after he came to us, Jules and Dom had a book made and it just about made me cry, we read it to him every night.
“Sure,” he says settling into his rocking chair. “You want me to read you your bedtime story,” he coos at him, brushing the back of his hand down his cheek.
Watching Locke with him I wonder what would have happened had I been stronger back then. What would our lives be like if I did not run away from everything? How different would our lives potentially be? I am not that dumb, yes, he is still a biker but at least he was not someone who cheated, or someone who apparently had a double life. A lifestyle that introduced some very unsavory people into Juliane’s life. A stab of pain hits me in the chest, my daughter grew up thinking a lifestyle of lying and deceit was okay. And what did it get her but kidnapped, violated and almost sold, swallowing the bile I know I cannot change the past but I sure as hell can change the future.
I need to talk to Jules no matter what happens between us, she needs to know the truth then maybe we both can heal.
I find Jules in the kitchen. “Hey, I need to talk to you, come sit down,” she says.
“Sure, honey, what did you want to talk about?” A sinking feeling hits me, judging by the look in her eyes she knows more than I thought she did.
“When all that shit happened with Gia, she said somethings that didn’t make any sense. She was saying shit about being my half-sister, so I was digging around.”
“What did you find?” I ask scared shitless.
“I can tell by your facial expressions that you know something about this,” she accuses. “I found out she is not my half-sister in fact, did you know hospitals keep records of pesky little things like blood types and DNA, guess what I found out.” Her tone sounds more hurt than angry. “Did you know you and I are both AB positive and Dad is O?” I stare at her my mind is spinning a million miles. “I also found out my father was not really my father at all, was he?” Jules says voice flat and void of any emotion.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. “No, he is not,” I whispered. There I said it out loud, something that only very few people know. Now that I said it out loud, a weight has been lifted and a burden gone.
“Tell me,” was all she said.
“I knew your father, Sal, my whole life, he knew he was not your biological father, but he still loved you the same. Please remember that, he genuinely loved you the only way he knew how,” I explain before getting into the hard stuff.
“Yes, I see that by completely ignoring me, shutting us out, and having an affair that lasted pretty much my whole life that is including having another kid. He loved me well, keep going please,” she said a bit of anger in her voice.
“Your biological father, I met him when I was eighteen, and I loved him deeply much like how you love Dom. I loved him to my bones, but we were young and foolish. He was scared that something would happen to me and he couldn’t handle that,” I tell her.
“Who is he and why the hell did he think that being without us is better than what I grew up in?” Now she is pissed, and it was okay. I needed her to process this because when I tell her it is Locke, she will probably hate me.
“Your biological father’s name is Matthew and I swear to you, honey, he did not know about you. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until after we broke it off and after I found out it was too late.” That part is a lie.
“But I regret it every day that I didnt’ tell him, I should have told him and maybe things would have been different.”
“Where did you meet him?” she asked.
“Surprisingly, I met him here actually. Your father is Matthew McKenzie. I am so sorry, I should have told you sooner, Juliane please don’t hate me,” I plead with her.
“Wait! You’re telling me that my birth father is Locke? Seriously? How could you not have told me? How could you keep something like that from me?” she demands banging her fist on the table.
“Is that why you guys were fighting before?” she asks.
“Yes, I told him in the hospital, he needed to know just in case something happened to me. There was someone that would protect you.”
“Un-fucking-believable! You are trying to tell me that he never knew about me? Really? Because we have not had parties together before our clubs have been to events together. You mean to tell me he never had an inkling or asked hey, this kid looks nothing like her father let’s do some math? Do you really think I would fall for this shit!” Now she was yelling.
“Juliane, I swear he never knew, you look just like me same smile, same hair, same dimples.”
“His eyes,” she interrupts.
“Yes, you have his eyes.” I look up and notice she is staring behind me turning to see what she is looking at I realize it is not a what but a who. Standing behind me is Locke and for the first time she is staring into the eyes of her father.
“It’s true, Jules,” he says, standing up right.
“Don’t bother,” she spits out, storming out of the room.
“Damn it, I should have known this would happen.” I say, leaning into him my forehead on his chest my hands gripping his sides.
“Listen, love, let me go talk to her. Maybe she will listen to me.”
“Wait, are you sure because she is just as pigheaded as I am, I know how we can be,” I say to him still not sure of what I should do.
“Yes, let me see what I can do, please,” he says, rubbing his hands up and down my back.
“Okay, where is Killian?” I ask.
“He is sleeping, keep an ear out would you,” he says, kissing my forehead before heading out the way Jules ran.
Chapter Nine
Locke
Fuck, what am I going to say to her? When I walked into the kitchen and overheard Jules and Cara talking, I felt like I should have stepped up, but I couldn’t, I just stood there watching her. Just like I had done her whole life I just didn’t know then what I know now.
I found her sitting on the swing in the far backyard.
“You know this is where I first was introduced to your mother,” I tell her.
“Really, that’s nice, was that before or after I was born,” she says sarcastically.
“May I sit?” I ask her.
“Sure, why not,” she says shrugging.
“Your mother loves you, she was doing what she thought was right,” I tell her trying to explain.
“Yeah, that is what she said too, but I don’t see how keeping the truth from everyone including you was the right thing to do,” she says.
“When I met your mother, man I fell for her fast. She was my dream girl, everything I ever wanted in a woman. She was a force of nature, Cara was. We loved hard and fast, I would have spent my life loving her. At the time things were crazy around here, it was far too dangerous for her and I. She could have easily been killed and that I could not have lived with. Especially since she was pregnant with you, if something had happened to her and I would have found out about you it would have been too late and it would have killed me,” I tell her, hoping she believes me because it is the truth.
“So, when did you find out, how do you feel about all this because honestly I am pissed. I am mad because she knew what it was like growing up with him. She knew I had questions, but she lied to my face they all did,” she rushed out.
“I found out when your mother was in the hospital right after your fath . . . right after Sal died. Your mother was afraid that something would happen, and she needed to make sure someone could watch out for you. I need you to understand, had I known about you I would have never let your mother go. She has always been that person that could calm the be
ast inside me, she was so fierce and full of life just like you. She could will me to do whatever she wanted just with one look and I was a goner. You know, she looked just like you do now when she was your age except, you have my eyes, the trademark emerald green and gold eyes, those are mine,” I tell her, placing my hand on hers praying she doesn’t yank it away.
“I feel sorry for us both,” she says.
I knew what she meant, but I said nothing.
“You missed out on raising a child, you were robbed of that experience and I was robbed of knowing my real father. I wonder what life would be like if you had raised me.”
“Don’t say that,” I interrupted. “Jules, honey, look at me.” I reached for her chin hoping she lets me.
“I know you are mad at your mother right now. Believe me, I know because until the other day I was so filled with anger and resentment toward her, but, honey, it gets us nowhere. We have the chance now to get to know one another. We have the chance now to spend time with each other. I can’t say what your mother’s reasons were for never telling me about you, but I can promise you this. I will never leave you, ever since your mother told me about you the only thing I have thought about was getting to know you, hold you. And no, we can’t go back and change things God knows I would if I could but we can’t the only thing we can do is start from here,” I tell her because honestly it is how I feel. I wanted to get to know her more than anything in this world.
Taking a deep breath, I pull her into my arms and instead of her pulling away she nestled into me, a piece of me that was missing clicking into place.
“I am sorry you are going through all this, Jules; I am sorry I wish I could protect you from all the bad in the world.”
“Prez,” I hear and look up to see Smokey eyeing me. Shit this is something I am going to have to explain soon before shit gets blown out of proportion.
“We need you, when you are available,” he says which means something is up and I need to go.
“It can wait,” I tell him.
“Prez?” he repeats, and his tone is questioning.
“I said it will and can wait, now go,” I repeat, maybe this time he will catch the tone of my voice.
“No, it’s okay we can talk later, I would like to talk more later.” The look she gives me it reminded me of Cara she is the spitting image of her mother, mannerisms, attitude and even her smile.
“Jules, go talk to your mother. We can work this all out, we also need to talk to Dom because, honey, hard decisions will need to be made,” I tell her.
“What do you mean?” she asks. I can see the sadness has softened her eyes.
“Well, Jules, this is something we really can’t hide for long. I sure as hell do not plan on keeping you a secret. You finding out changes things, I kept my mouth shut because your mother begged me to, just until she could tell you herself. I am not ashamed of you and I never will be,” I tell her because this is not something that should be kept under the rug. She is my kid damn it; nothing will change that.
“You are right, I need to talk to Dom. I know you have something to discuss so I can do it later,” she says, standing.
“Thank you for talking to me, I feel a little better now,” she says, heading back toward the house.
Sitting back against the fence I am slightly overwhelmed by the events of the day. I was not expecting her to talk to Jules today. I was hoping to work more shit out before this but hell I guess it is better to rip the band aid off and just go for it.
“Hey,” Cara says as she sits next to me.
“Hey,” I say back.
“Thank you for talking to her, she seems less angry, I just saw her walk by. What did you guys talk about?” she says nervously.
“I just was honest with her, I told her that I would have never lied to her. I told her I didn’t know about her until recently and that no matter what, what has been done has been done and we can move on, get to know one another and that even though I have not known she was mine for long, I do love her,” I told her.
“What I don’t understand, Cara, is why did you not wait for me, why did you tell her by yourself? I thought maybe we could do that together; I hate being caught off guard. She is just pissed off right now, she was raised one way and it was all a lie. How would you feel if the man that raised you and one that basically ignored you, at that, was not your father, and to make matters worse your mother was not even the one to tell you about it? She found out because she was fucking kidnapped. Cara, do you have any idea how she feels? Then you just lay this bombshell at her feet. She is pissed and I don’t blame her because I have spent a lot of time being pissed off at you and the world until recently.”
“No, you don’t understand, she asked me about it. I did not start the conversation, we discussed eventually telling her, but I said I didn’t want to put my daughter through that yet and you agreed,” she said tears, welling up in her eyes.
“Our!! daughter, you keep forgetting that key phrase. She is our daughter, please keep that in mind, because it was not like I would have purposely chosen to stay out of her life,” I demanded so sick of feeling like I did something wrong causing me to miss out on so much.
“You’re the one who told me it was over,” she bit back.
“I would have never if you hadn’t kept something like this from me,” I fired back at her.
The hurt in her eyes sparked and tears poured out. Fuck, I knew I would screw up and say something hurtful. I am fully aware of the dick I can be, and this just proves it.
“I am well aware that I should have told you and it has haunted me every day damn you,” she says, stomping off.
I can’t deal with this shit right now. I head into church, the men are waiting for me at the table.
“What do we know?” I say, sitting back in my chair lighting my cigar, this damn place is going to kill me.
“We know that so far John has been one step ahead of us.” Tech says.
Each time, somehow he knows what the hell is going on, who the fuck is helping him?” “How the fuck is he getting the information?” I demand, slamming my fist on the table.
“I am working that; I think we need to just keep this shit close for now,” Tech informs us.
“What about the girls, is there still a threat?” Ezra asked.
“Consider there is a fucking threat until John is dead and we have no reason to think those girls are safe. I don’t want anyone laying down on the job, we make sure those girls are safe. We stay lockdowned until further notice, got it.” Right now I just want a fucking drink and to not deal with anything.
“What about the shit with Cara and Sal are we any closer to finding out what the fuck happened there? I need something to go on guys we have been working on this shit, call in markers, get me something. Fuck!” I demand.
“I have a meet set with the head of Bowery and the Kings, they want the guns we need information,” Mac says.
“Good, take Axel, Ranger, and Smokey with you to the meet. Make it public I don’t need any more shit breaking out and I do not trust either one of those assholes. Anybody else have anything they want to add?” I ask not really paying attention.
“No, Boss, you need anything from us?” Ranger pipes up.
“Yeah, need you all to make sure you are pulling your weight in the shop. I don’t need Axel doing all the damn work. It may be time we look for some prospects, possibly add to the club. Any ideas?” I ask.
“Fitz is back up here from Jersey, he has been here since before that shit happened with the girls. He had to go see his mom but he has been talking about laying down roots, says he is done with being nomad,” Axel says.
“Yeah, Tex said he and Gunner both put in for a transfer, they are sick of the heat. Pussies,” Dom chimes in.
“I could hit up Bear, Rooster, and there is always Capone, at least till all this is settled?” Mac offers and a round of cheers ring out.
“Fuck, can this clubhouse handle Bear and Capone under one roof?” I
joke.
“Fuck it, we will take them all if they want to come. It’s time for some fresh blood anyways. I am going to sit down and look at plans to expand this place. Between the girls, Cara, and the baby, plus all you rowdy motherfuckers when it is time for lockdown, we need more room,” I tell them.
“Shit, that’s true, Boss, are we looking for a whole new building or just to add on? Ranger asks.
“No, I want to keep this building and I don’t know maybe add a second building behind it. That is why I said I have to look,” I tell them. “Anything else?” I ask and a chorus of no’s ring out. “Church is over.” I slam the gavel down. “Dom hold back,” I holler.
“Ya, Boss,” he asks, questioning me with his eyes.
“Jules, needs to talk you, brother, just a heads up so that you don’t walk into a trap, Cara told her about Sal,” I say.
“Shit, where is she?” he asks.
“Right behind you.” Her voice is timid and soft I just want to reach out to her.
“Come in, Jules,” I say, and she does. Surprisingly, she comes right up to me and leans into me. Took the breath right out of me, having her accept me right away. Guts me to think of all the time we could have had together.
“I will give you both some privacy,” I say, kissing the top of her head and walking out the doors.
Chapter Ten
Cara
Terror paralyzes me, the stark white envelope with my name scrawled across the front sent a boulder the size of Texas spiraling into the pit of my stomach. I am too afraid to open it again, so I just stare at it while it taunts me, far too afraid to see anymore.
“Hey, babe.” A kiss on my cheek causes me to jump.
“What is that?” he asks, pointing to the envelope on the table.
“Open it,” I tell him, my hands shaking violently, tears threatening to fall again.
“Cara, what’s wrong, why are you crying?” he says, grabbing the envelope and pulling out the contents. Looking up I watch his face turn from questioning to absolute fury mixed with distain. I have never seen someone so angry, yet I was not afraid.