All We Want (Alabama Summer Book 6)

by J. Daniels

  I watch the security guard take notice of that.

  “Excuse me, but my daughter hasn’t signed anything.” Bri’s mother glares at Tessa. “And she has every right to change her mind . . . that is her baby. I don’t know why you’re trying to discuss this with me right now. You need to watch yourself.”

  “She needs to what?” I ask, getting this woman’s attention.

  She blinks rapidly, startled by my tone. “I’ve said all I need to say. Bri is sorry, but she has changed her mind.”

  White-hot anger fills me. My hands curl into fists.

  “This is bullshit,” I mumble. “If she changed her mind, she can tell us herself.”

  “You are not speaking to my daughter.”

  “Why not?” Tessa asks. “She knows us . . . she’s been to our house!”

  “I don’t care if she knows you or not. She is under eighteen, and she just had a baby. No one is disturbing her right now. She needs to rest.”

  Mia gets up beside Tessa. She has tears in her eyes. “Sweetie, come on.”

  “No.” Tessa quickly shakes her head. “This is crazy . . .”

  “Babe.” I reach for her again, but she shoves my arm down and steps forward.

  “Let me just go back and talk to her. I just need to talk to her . . .”

  The security guard moves up. “Ma’am.”

  “Don’t take another step,” I bark.

  “Sir, you need to calm down. I will ask you to leave.”

  I get up in his face. “Yeah? You gonna ask me to leave?”

  Ben and CJ are beside me.

  “Pretty sure I have authority over you right now,” CJ tells the guy. “You might wanna relax.”

  The guard flares his nostrils. “This is getting out of hand. We can’t have this here.”

  “Can someone open the doors please?” Bri’s mother calls out. “I need to get back to my grandson.”

  “Let me talk to Bri. Can I please talk to her? Please.” Tessa’s voice is panicked.

  “Get your hands off me! Are you insane?”

  I look over and see Tessa gripping onto the woman’s wrists as she begs and cries, telling Bri’s mother “That’s my son! I just need to talk to her!” as Beth and Mia try and pull her back.

  When the security guard goes to intervene, I shove him.

  “Sir!” he roars, approaching me like he’s actually going to fucking do something.

  I’m about to hit this guy and level his ass when Mia’s scream fills the waiting room.

  Everyone stops, freezing in position. I turn at the same time as Ben.

  “She just fell down!” Mia’s supporting Tessa’s upper body in her lap. They’re both on the floor. “Like she got really dizzy or something . . . I think she passed out.”

  Tessa’s eyes are closed.

  My stomach drops out.

  “We need some help over here!” Reed yells, hovering nearby with Layla in his arms.

  “Tessa . . . babe.” I crouch down beside her and push the sweat-soaked hair out of her face. Her cheeks are hot, and her breathing is sharp and quick. “Open your eyes, babe. Come on. Hey.”

  Riley feels her neck. “Her pulse is racing.”

  “Is she okay?” Beth asks.

  There are nurses at my back then, rushing over and dropping down beside me, trying to shove me out of the way. They can’t. I keep my hands on Tessa and make them work around me. Someone pushes over a stretcher.

  I field questions about her health as they quickly examine her.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Is she on any medications?”

  “Has she been sick recently?”

  “This could’ve been a panic attack. Has she had those before? Any history of anxiety? How stressed has she been lately?”

  How stressed has she been?

  “Is that a fuckin’ joke?” I growl, causing the nurse beside me to jerk back. “She was just told we aren’t taking home our son, that he isn’t ours anymore. How stressed do you think she is?”

  Ben’s hand comes down heavy on my shoulder and squeezes. “They gotta ask, man. They’re just trying to figure out what’s going on.”

  “Right,” I grumble. Fuck. I rub at my face and offer up a generic, “sorry,” to whoever needs it from me. I don’t meet their eyes though. I keep watching Tessa.

  I stand when everyone else stands, and help them lift her limp body onto the stretcher. I keep support of her head.

  She starts mumbling softly.

  “Hey, she’s talking.” I move around to the side of the stretcher and take hold of her face so she can see me. “Babe, it’s okay. Hey, you’re okay. I’m right here.”

  “Tessa, can you hear us?”

  She doesn’t open her eyes. Her head shifts back and forth on the pillow as she wets her lips and continues breathing laboredly through her mouth.

  “Let’s take her back here for now,” one of the nurses says.

  She enters a code on the wall and the double doors slide open.

  “Family only please,” someone calls out.

  I fucking snap.

  “I’m not doin’ this shit. They are family. They’re coming back. What the fuck does it matter anyway? Jesus Christ!”

  All four nurses stop what they’re doing and look at me.

  “Okay,” one of them says after glancing at the others. “But everyone except you needs to stand outside the room for now.”

  “I’ll stay out here with the kids,” CJ announces. “You guys go. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  “You sure?” Reed asks.

  “Yeah.”

  “We’ll both stay,” Riley says. She takes a sleeping Layla from Reed while CJ grabs the baby carrier from Ben.

  Chase and Nolan are still passed out on chairs.

  I stay with the stretcher as they wheel Tessa into the back, our family close behind us. They take her into one of the empty birthing suites and transfer her onto the bed.

  She’s still coming to, mumbling softly as the nurses continue to examine her.

  I stand back, watching as they prepare to start an IV.

  When her eyes slowly slip open, I rush the bed.

  “Babe.” I sit on the edge and cup her cheeks, turning her face. “Tessa, can you hear me?”

  She looks at me like she’s searching through a haze. “Luke?” she croaks.

  I bend down and kiss her. “I’m right here. Fuck, you scared me . . .”

  “W-Where’s Kai?”

  A sick ache turns my stomach.

  I swallow hard and shake my head.

  Tessa keeps looking at me as tears well up in her eyes. “No,” she whimpers. “Luke, please . . .”

  I gather her into my lap as she falls apart.

  I PICK AT the tape on my hand that’s holding the IV in place.

  The adhesive stings as it tugs at my hair follicles, leaving my skin reddened and sore. I’ve been told several times to leave it alone.

  “Doesn’t that hurt?” they ask.

  They have no fucking idea.

  I don’t want to be in this room. I’ve asked if I can be moved to the ER, or at least to another wing of this hospital. It seems cruel to stick me in a birthing suite.

  How many women have become mothers in this bed?

  The thought makes me want to cry myself into next week.

  I try not to think about it. I try not to think about Kai in one of these rooms, possibly in the next room.

  He could be on the other side of the wall behind me . . . ten, twenty feet away, listening to the same heartbeat he’s listened to for the past nine months instead of learning the sound of mine. He’s staying familiar with Bri’s voice. I can picture her holding him, and I know she has every right to be, but it feels wrong. It still feels wrong, no matter how many minutes go by. I should be getting over this. Kai was a dream I was never meant to have. I should feel like I’ve just woken up, leaving the reality I wanted behind and slipping back into the one I’m living instead where this w
as never meant to happen for us.

  Sometimes, things just don’t work out. Bri’s decision was never a guarantee. I have always been prepared for this.

  And I can’t accept it.

  I’m lying here picking at this stupid fucking tape on my hand so I have something to do, because if I don’t have something to do, I might get up and go find my son.

  Fresh tears prick at my eyes.

  I really need to stop thinking of him as that.

  When I feel wetness on my cheek, I turn my face into Luke’s warm chest and nuzzle him.

  The soft cotton tee he’s wearing absorbs the evidence of my pain. Or at least, another piece of it.

  His mouth presses to my hair as strong arms adjust their position around me, pulling me closer. I’m lying more on Luke than the actual bed at this point. He won’t let me go. He’s refused to move into the chair one of the nurses pulled up, even after I stopped hysterically crying. And he makes everyone work around him.

  I can’t imagine going through this if he wasn’t here. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

  I know we’ll get through this together. We can get through anything—this won’t break us, we won’t let it—but I worry this is killing him as much as it’s killing me.

  My spiral is evident. I passed out, for fuck’s sake. Luke’s shirt is tear-soaked because of me. But how is this affecting him?

  “What are you thinking about?” I ask, breaking the silence we’ve slipped into.

  It’s only us in this room meant for parents. Luke ordered everyone to get out when I lost it, sending our family back out into the waiting room for now. I only wanted him to see me like that, and I was grateful he knew without me having to say it. The nurses returned after giving us a few minutes of privacy, but they’re gone now. They’re finally leaving me alone.

  “I’m wondering how much longer they’re gonna make us wait before we can get the fuck out of here.”

  “Is that all you’re thinking about?” I peer up at him.

  He stares at me, considering his response. “I don’t know . . . that’s all I’m tryin’ to think about. Every time I start wondering about anything else, I cut it off.”

  “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

  “Me either. I’m waitin’ on you to pull that IV out so I can take you home.”

  “I’m so close to doing that.” I fidget more with the tape. Then I push up onto my hip and glance back at the IV pole and the bag of fluids I’m connected to. “I do feel better though . . . maybe we should at least wait until the bag’s empty. What time is it anyway?”

  Luke checks his watch. “Almost two-thirty.”

  “Do you want to try and get some sleep?”

  “I doubt I’ll be able to. You can . . .”

  I shake my head and settle in his arms again, my head on his shoulder. “Hi.”

  He almost smiles. I think he wants to.

  Instead, Luke drops his head and kisses me, hovering close there after he’s done. “We’re gonna be okay,” he says.

  My throat constricts around the lump of emotions I try and swallow down. “Yeah . . .”

  “We will. No matter what.”

  “I know.”

  “I gotta hear you say it, babe.”

  I pull back a little to see him better.

  His amber eyes, hooded by those dark eyebrows, are clouded with so much worry and sorrow. And seeing it now, my earlier concern amplifies by ten-fold.

  This is killing him.

  Luke isn’t telling me what he wants right now. He’s telling me what he needs. He has to hear it. He can say it all day long to me, but hearing me tell him we’re going to be okay means something else entirely. He won’t believe it until I say it too.

  I press our foreheads together. “No matter what, we’ll be okay. . . . Ask me.”

  “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

  My broken heart beats harder than ever.

  “Hey. You’re stealing my line, cheater.” I dip my head down and smile at him.

  I actually smile when I don’t think I have it in me.

  “I wanted him,” he says.

  “Me too.”

  “But I only need you . . .”

  “God, Luke.” I wrap my arms around his neck. We cling to each other. “I love you.”

  A knock on the door doesn’t separate us. In fact, I think Luke and I would actually ignore it if it were anyone else except the doctor who checked in on me earlier.

  We’re both anxious to get the fuck out of here. That’s the only reason we acknowledge her and peel away from each other.

  The kind-looking, Asian woman steps around to my side of the bed. She’s carrying a chart. “How are you feeling now, Tessa?” she asks.

  “Better.” I slide back against the pillow and watch her fingertips press to the inside of my wrist. I tip my head at the IV pole. “I think that’s helped a lot.”

  She smiles at me while assessing my pulse. “Any dizziness or blurred vision?”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  “Was it a panic attack?” Luke asks. “Do we know why she just dropped like that?”

  “I’ve never had a panic attack before. Can you start having them out of nowhere?”

  Christ. Is this going to be something I’ll have forever now? Will I need medication for it?

  The doctor takes a seat in the chair beside the bed. “You can. People at any age can experience them, though I’m not sure that’s what happened here.” She opens the chart in her lap and flips through a couple pages. “You were very dehydrated. That can cause fainting—”

  “Told you to break up the coffee with water,” Luke mumbles in my ear. “Start listening to me.”

  I sneer at him until he smirks.

  “Women can also experience dizzy spells or faint, as you did, in their first trimester. That isn’t uncommon. I’m wondering if that’s all this was . . .”

  I slowly turn my head. “What’s that?”

  “What are you talking about?” Luke leans forward to peer around me.

  First trimester? “I’m not pregnant.”

  The doctor frowns. “I’m . . . sorry.” She quickly flips through the chart again. “Did you not know that?” She looks at me. “You’re pregnant.”

  I blink at her. “No, that’s not right.” Wow. This woman is seriously confused. “We were supposed to adopt our baby today . . . not have one, or, I mean, I’m not here because I’m pregnant . . . does that make sense?”

  “I understand why you were here, but I’m telling you, based on the lab work we did, you are definitely pregnant.”

  Breath leaves my body. I stare at her, mouth falling open. I probably look like a dead fish.

  Definitely pregnant?

  No. No way . . .

  “Are you sure that’s her chart?” Luke gestures at it. “You need to double check that, `cause you can’t be comin’ in her tellin’ my wife somethin’ like that without knowin’ for certain. She’s been through enough.”

  “I can assure you, these are Tessa’s results.”

  “Yeah? Let me see it.” Luke stands from the bed and prowls around it. “Show me what you’re lookin’ at.”

  The doctor pushes to her feet when he reaches her and holds up the chart. She points to something on the page and goes on about normal levels and percentage accuracies. She fields dubious questions from Luke. He still isn’t convinced.

  Their voices begin to sound miles away as I gaze down at my stomach. As I press my hands there.

  I should feel different if I’m pregnant. I should feel . . . pregnant, right? Like there’s another life inside of me now. But I don’t feel anything besides the shocking cold of the needle in my hand as it continues to deliver fluids and the middle-of-the-night exhaustion slowly creeping over me. Besides, my last period was . . .

  Breath lodges in my throat.

  Oh, no fucking way.

  “Luke . . .” I glance up as the bed jostles beneath me.

  He sits
beside my bent knees and leans over, taking my face between his hands. “Babe.”

  “I think I’m pregnant.”

  “Yeah.” The biggest, sweetest grin takes up his face. “You’re pregnant.”

  “For sure,” I say.

  “For fuckin’ sure.”

  “Oh, my God. We did it,” I giggle and cry. “We did it, Luke!”

  He kisses my wet cheeks, my mouth. “Fuck.”

  “I can’t believe it!”

  “You’re amazing. God, Tessa, I love you so much.”

  “I’ll come back in a little while,” the doctor announces. She sounds happy for us. “As soon as you’re done with the bag, Tessa, we’ll discharge you.”

  “Okay.” I smile and keep kissing Luke. “I want to tell Mia and Ben, and everyone.”

  He keeps his hands on my face and looks back. “Hey, can you let our family back here? They won’t stay. We just wanna tell them.”

  “As long as it’s quick.” The doctor smiles at us. “Congratulations.”

  “Yayyy.” I shimmy my hips, amusing Luke. Then I drop my head on his shoulder. “Holy fuck, I’m tired . . .”

  He chuckles and wraps his arms around me.

  I stay there, tracing his sharp jaw with my fingertips and scratching his stubble with my nails, and I think I’m nearly asleep when I hear Mia cry out, “Oh, my God, now what?” Her voice cracks. She begins to cry. “I can’t take anything else, Ben! Seriously, I’m beginning to hate this building!”

  Luke and I fall into each other, laughing.

  “What the hell?” Reed asks.

  I grip onto Luke’s shoulder and look over at our family.

  Everyone is here. Even the kids.

  Ben is holding Nolan, who’s passed out. Mia has Beau in her arms, CJ is carrying a sleeping Chase, and Beth is bouncing Layla, who appears to be waking.

  “Ready?” Luke asks, his mouth in my hair.

  I smile the biggest smile of my life, peering up at him again. “Ready.”

  “Go ahead, babe.”

  I finally say them—the words I’ve been wanting to say for the past thirteen months.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Silence. No one says a word.

  Then Mia takes the smallest step forward. “What?” she whispers, blinking back tears. “Really?”

  “Are you serious?” Ben asks.

  “Tessa, you’re pregnant?”