Tales From a Not-So-Popular Party Girl

by Rachel Renée Russell

  ALSO BY

  Rachel Renée Russell

  Dork Diaries:

  Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life

  Rachel Renée Russell

  DORK

  diaries

  Tales from a NOT-SO-Popular Party Girl

  Aladdin

  New York London Toronto Sydney

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  ALADDIN * An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division * 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 * www.SimonandSchuster.com * First Aladdin hardcover edition June 2010 * Copyright © 2010 by Rachel Renée Russell * All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. * ALADDIN is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and related logo is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. * For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. * The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. * Designed by Lisa Vega * The text of this book was set in Skippy Sharp. * Manufactured in the United States of America * 0410 MTN * 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data * Russell, Rachel Renée. * Tales from a not-so-popular party girl / by Rachel Renée Russell. — 1st Aladdin hardcover ed. * p. cm. — (Dork diaries) * Summary: Nikki’s diary describes a frightful Halloween, on which she helps with her sister’s ballet class party at the same time she is Brandon’s date for their middle school Halloween dance, where she has promised to spend the evening with her two best friends. * ISBN 978-1-4169-8008-7 (hardcover : alk. paper) * [1. Parties—Fiction. 2. Halloween—Fiction. 3. Friendship—Fiction. 4. Popularity—Fiction. 5. Middle schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction. 7. Diaries—Fiction.] I. Title. * PZ7.R915935Tal 2010 * [Fic]—dc22 * 2009039508 * ISBN 978-1-4169-8656-0 (eBook)

  To my mom, Doris,

  for ALWAYS being there for me

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  To all my wonderful Dork Diaries fans—a special thank-you for embracing this series so warmly and widely. Always remember to let your inner Dork shine through

  Liesa Abrams, my awesome editor, thank you for the endless amounts of enthusiasm and energy you’ve brought to the Dork Diaries books. I am SO happy to be on this fabulous journey with you and your inner thirteen-year-old!

  Lisa Vega, my superdedicated art director, thank you for your hard work and creative expertise. Especially on those long, late nights when the janitor had turned off all the lights.

  Mara Anastas, Bethany Buck, Bess Braswell, Paul Crichton, and the rest of my fantastic team at Aladdin/Simon & Schuster, thank you for believing in Dork Diaries.

  Daniel Lazar, my incredible agent at Writers House, thank you for being all that you are: agent, friend, adviser, coach, cheerleader, and even therapist. You’ve helped make my wildest dreams come true. Also, a special thanks to Stephen Barr for sending me those crazy e-mails that made me laugh so hard I cried.

  Maja Nikolic, Cecilia de la Campa, and Angharad Kowal, my foreign rights agents at Writers House, thank you for helping Dork Diaries be read internationally.

  Nikki Russell, my daughter and supertalented assistant artist, thank you for all your hard work on this project. I could not have done any of this without you and cannot begin to express my gratitude. I am SO lucky to be your mom!

  Sydney James, Cori James, Ariana Robinson, and Mikayla Robinson, my tweenage nieces, thank you for being my brutally honest critique partners who somehow know what’s supercool before it actually is.

  FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11

  I can’t believe this is happening to me!

  I’m in the girls’ bathroom FREAKING OUT!!

  There’s NO WAY I’m going to survive middle school.

  I’ve just made a complete FOOL of myself in front of my secret crush. AGAIN !!

  And if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m still stuck with a locker right next to MacKenzie Hollister’s !

  Who, BTW, is the most popular girl at Westchester Country Day Middle School and a total SNOB. Calling her a “mean girl” is an understatement.

  She’s a KILLER SHARK in sparkly nail polish, designer jeans, and platform Skechers.

  But for some reason, everyone ADORES her.

  MacKenzie and I do NOT get along. I’m guessing it’s probably due to the fact that she

  HATES MY GUTS !!

  She is forever gossiping behind my back and saying supermean stuff like that I have no fashion sense whatsoever and that our school mascot, Larry the Lizard, wears cuter clothes than I do.

  Which might actually be true. But STILL!

  I do NOT appreciate that girl BLABBING about my personal business.

  This morning she was even more vicious than usual.

  I could NOT believe she actually said that to me!

  I mean, how can a COLOR clash with a FLAVOR?! DUH!! They’re like two TOTALLY different, um . . . THINGS!

  That’s when I lost it and yelled, “Sorry, MacKenzie! But I’m REALLY busy right now. Can I IGNORE you some other time?!”

  But I just said it inside my head, so no one else heard it but me.

  And if all of that isn’t enough TORTURE, the annual WCD Halloween dance is in three weeks!

  It’s the biggest event of the fall, and everyone is already gossiping about who’s going with who.

  I’d just totally DIE if my secret crush,

  BRANDON

  asked me to go!

  Yesterday he actually asked ME to be his lab partner for biology class!

  I was SO excited, I did my Snoopy “happy dance.”

  And today I had a sneaking suspicion Brandon was going to “pop the question” about the Halloween dance.

  The school day seemed to drag on FOREVER.

  By the time I got to biology class, I was a nervous wreck.

  Suddenly a very troubling question popped into my head and I started to panic: What if Brandon only thought of me as a lab partner and nothing more?!

  That’s when I decided to try to impress him with my charm, wit, and intelligence.

  I gave him a big smile and went right to work drawing all these teeny-tiny lint-looking thingies I saw under the microscope.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Brandon staring at me with this urgent yet very perplexed look on his face.

  It was obvious he wanted to talk to me about something SUPERserious . . . !

  Those thingies in the microscope really WERE just LINT! OMG!! I was SO EMBARRASSED!!

  I knew right then and there I had pretty much blown any chance of Brandon asking me to the dance.

  But the good news was, I had made a startling scientific discovery about the biogenetics of my intelligence and even reduced it to a working formula.

  Then things got even WORSE.

  I was in the girls’ bathroom when I overheard MacKenzie bragging to her friends that she was practically almost 99.9% sure she and Brandon were going to the dance together as Edward and Bella from Twilight.

  I was VERY disappointed, but not the least bit surprised. I mean, WHY would Brandon ask a total DORK like ME when he could go with a CCP (Cute, Cool & Popular) girl like MacKenzie?

  And get this! As they were leaving, MacKenzie giggled and said she was buying a
new lip gloss JUST for Brandon. I knew what THAT meant.

  I was SO frustrated and angry at myself.

  I waited until the bathroom was empty, and then I had a really good SCREAM.

  Which, for some strange reason, always makes me feel a lot better .

  Middle school can be very TRAUMATIZING, that’s for sure!!

  But the most important thing to remember is this: Always remain CALM and try to handle your personal problems in a PRIVATE and MATURE manner.

  ME, HAVING A PRIVATE SCREAM-FEST!

  SATURDAY, OCTOBER 12

  Today has been the MOST exciting day EVER!

  I still can’t believe I actually won first place and a $500 cash prize in our school’s avant-garde art competition !

  Last week, without even telling me, Chloe, Zoey, and Brandon entered photos of the tattoo designs I had drawn for kids at school.

  So I totally freaked out when I found out I had won! Who would have thunk I’d beat out MacKenzie’s awesome fashion illustrations?

  And boy, was she ticked! Especially after bragging to everyone that she was going to win.

  I can’t wait to get my hands on all that money.

  I had originally planned to use it to buy a cell phone. But I decided it would be more prudent to save it for art camp next summer.

  I’m investing in my dream of becoming an artist so I can spend all day curled up in bed in my fave pj’s, drawing in my sketchbook, and actually get paid for it. SWEET !

  Although, it would be kinda cool to use the money to fix up my very drab locker.

  Adding a little bling would guarantee me a spot in the CCP clique.

  Anyway, practically the entire school was at the avant-garde art awards banquet today.

  I was very shocked when MacKenzie came over and gave me a big hug.

  I think she only did it to make a good impression, because what she said to me was not very sportsmanlike at all.

  “Nikki! Congratulations on winning first place, hon! If I had known the art show judges wanted talentless junk, I would have framed my poodle’s vomit stains and entered it as abstract art.”

  OMG! I couldn’t believe she said that right to my face.

  She should have just scribbled

  “I’M SO JEALOUS!!”

  across her forehead with a black marker. That probably would have been LESS obvious.

  I was like, “Thanks, MacKenzie. You’re such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!”

  But I just said it inside my head, so no one else heard it but me. Mainly because I’m basically a nice person and I don’t like negative vibes.

  It had absolutely nothing to do with me being a little intimidated by her or anything.

  Chloe and Zoey sat right next to me during dinner.

  And as usual, we were acting really silly and having random giggle attacks.

  When Brandon came over to take a picture of me for the school newspaper and yearbook, I thought I was going to DIE!

  He suggested that we go to the atrium across the hall, where the lighting was better.

  At first I was happy that Chloe and Zoey wanted to tag along because I was supernervous.

  But the entire time he was snapping pictures, they were standing right behind him making kissy faces at me and acting all lovesick.

  OMG! It was SO EMBARRASSING!!

  I was so angry I wanted to grab them both by their necks and squeeze until their little heads exploded.

  But instead, I just gritted my teeth and prayed Brandon didn’t notice them goofing around behind his back like that.

  Chloe and Zoey are really nice and sweet friends, but sometimes I feel more like their babysitter than their BFF.

  Lucky for me, when they heard that dessert was being served, they rushed back to the banquet to pig out some more.

  Which meant Brandon and I were all alone!

  Only it was kind of uncomfortable and a little embarrassing because instead of talking, we just stared at each other and then the floor and then each other and then the floor and then each other and then the floor.

  And this went on for what seemed like FOREVER!!

  Then FINALLY he brushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes and smiled at me kind of shylike. “I told you you were going to win. Congratulations!”

  I gazed into his eyes, and my heart started to pound so loudly my toes were actually vibrating. Kind of like standing near a car blasting your favorite song, but with the windows rolled up. And you can’t really hear the melody part, but your innermost soul can feel the vibrations from the bass part going Thumpity-thump!! Thumpity-thump!!

  And my stomach felt all fluttery, like it was being attacked by a huge swarm of very . . . ferocious . . . yet fragile . . . butterflies.

  I immediately realized I was suffering from a relapse of RCS (Roller-Coaster Syndrome).

  I clenched my teeth and mustered every ounce of strength in my entire body to keep myself from gleefully shouting, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

  But instead, I uttered something far, far worse.

  “Thanks, Brandon. Um . . . have you tried those cute little barbecued wing-dings? They’re actually quite delicious!”

  “Did you just say . . . wing-dings?!”

  “Yep. They’re at the front table right near the punch. They also have honey glazed and hot-’n’-spicy. But the barbecued ones are my favorite.”

  “Um . . . actually, no! I haven’t tried them.”

  “Well, you really should. . . .”

  “So, I . . . um . . . want to ask you something. . . .”

  “About the wing-dings?”

  Brandon’s face was intensely serious.

  “No. Actually, I want to know if . . . you . . .”

  I was holding my breath and hanging on to his every word.

  “. . . I mean, it would be totally cool if you would—” “BRANDON!! There you are!! OMG! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

  MacKenzie barged into the room and lunged straight for Brandon like an NFL linebacker trying to recover a fumbled ball.

  “As the official school photographer, you really need to get a picture of me posing with my Fab-4-Ever fashion illustrations. They’re about to take down my display!”

  Then she just stood there smiling at Brandon all GOOGLY-EYED, twirling her hair around her finger.

  Which was obviously a DESPERATE attempt to HYPNOTIZE him into doing her EVIL bidding.

  “Brandon, please hurry! Before it’s too late!” she whined breathlessly while glaring at me in total disgust like I was this huge pimple that had suddenly popped out on her nose or something.

  Brandon rolled his eyes, sighed, and gave me this very goofy but cute smile.

  “So . . . we’ll talk later, Nikki. Okay?”

  “Sure. See ya.”

  As I walked back to the awards banquet, I felt very light-headed and a little nauseous.

  But in a really GOOD way!

  More than anything, I was now totally consumed with a burning curiosity.

  Brandon had been about to ask me something really important when MacKenzie had rudely interrupted him.

  Which left me with one very obvious and compelling question:

  WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT?!!

  Wing-dings?! I could NOT believe I had rambled on and on about the variety of delicious wing-ding flavors!

  No wonder he didn’t ask me to the dance.

  At least my picture came out okay.

  Brandon is such an AWESOME photographer!

  SUNDAY, OCTOBER 13

  I’m in the most HORRIBLE mood right now! I’m SO totally dreading school tomorrow.

  If I hear one more girl mention that stupid dance, I’m going to SCREAM!! I keep hoping someone will ask me, but I know it’s NOT going to happen.

  What I need is a MAGIC love potion or something!

  I would definitely use it on Brandon because that’s the ONLY way he’d ever like a LOSER like me.

  Then I’d share it with girls al
l over the world who are suffering from the same problem.

  Just one spray and your crush will fall madly in love with the first person he lays eyes on!

  SUPERCRUSH LOVE POTION!

  NOW EVERY GIRL CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER

  AFTER WITH THE GUY OF HER DREAMS!

  Or maybe . . . NOT!!

  “WHOA! MRS. HOOPER! THAT HAIRNET

  IS LIKE . . . SO HOT! AND I’M TOTALLY

  DIGGIN’ YOUR MEAT LOAF . . . !”

  Okay, so maybe my love potion idea is really STUPID!!

  My life is HOPELESS!!

  !!

  Tonight Mom and my little sister, Brianna, were putting up decorations for Halloween.

  I knew what was coming next because it happens every single year.

  Brianna sneaks up on everyone and tries to scare us with this big stupid-looking plastic spider.

  It’s almost like a Maxwell family Halloween tradition or something. Mom and Dad always put on this big act and pretend to be superscared just to humor her. And of course Brianna gets a really big kick out of it.

  Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to encourage her like that. What’s going to happen when she gets older and starts attending middle school?

  Hey! I already KNOW what’s going to happen!

  Brianna’s going to take that plastic spider to school and shake it at people because she thinks it’s appropriate behavior.

  And everyone at her school will think she’s NUTZ!

  Then I’ll have to go through all the trouble of changing my last name so no one will know she’s my sister.

  My parents need to realize that raising an impressionable child like Brianna is a big responsibility.

  Anyway, I was up in my room studying for my French test.

  I was feeling a little grumpy because I was having a hard time remembering which nouns in French are masculine versus feminine.