by Zack Zombie
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
A huge fireball blasted the Ender Dragon so hard that it sent him to the moon.
And when the little Creeper opened his eyes. . .
Bop!
A Dragon Egg dropped right next to him.
Farts-a-lot took the Dragon Egg back to the village. And all the Villagers were so amazed by his bravery, they decided to knight him.
And from then on, he was known as Sir Farts-A-Lot—Knight of All that is Silent, but Deadly.
And they all celebrated with a nice omelette dinner.
Whoa, so that’s the whole story of Sir Farts-a-lot!
Man, this is better than I thought.
“Oh, I see you’ve found my favorite Minecraft storybook,” piped Grandma Ada.
Ima and I turned around to find our grandma at the door.
“Sorry for being nosy, Grandma. We just haven’t visited the library in a while,” Ima said.
“This is totally different than the story I heard about Sir Farts-a-lot,” I said.
“Of course, it is! It’s based on our family’s history with the Ender Dragon,” Grandma Ada said.
“Whoa!”
“Grandma, do you think I can use this story for my school play?” I asked.
“Fart away, young one. Go and save the Overworld from the Ender Dragon,” Grandma Ada said with a smile.
Man, I was so excited.
We’re gonna have the best play in the whole school.
And it’s going to totally bring the house down.
Wait. . .what did I just say?
Monday
Today was Harry and my first day back after getting in trouble.
So when I entered my homeroom, everything went crazy.
I guess they still thought Harry and I destroyed the drama room.
Either that, or they were serving mystery Zombie meat in the cafeteria again today.
Anyway, as I was walking toward my English class, I rounded a corner in the hallway.
Suddenly. . .
“RAWWWWR!”
“AHHH!”
PLOP.
“Hahaha!” Burt laughed. “Look, guys, Sir Drops-a-lot is afraid of his own shadow!”
“Hahaha!” roared Jeb the Blaze.
“Hahaha!” roared Todd the Slime.
“Urgh,” moaned Braden the Zombie.
As Burt and his gang walked away laughing, I started to shuffle my feet to hide my little accident.
Man, maybe I should drop out of school and become a fireworks salesman.
I can imagine it now. . .
“Hey, would you like to buy some fireworkssssss?”
Tuesday
Today, we had to do some rehearsals for our performance on Saturday.
Ms. Moldini even managed to get the costumes that we asked for.
I hate to admit it, but Burt did look really cool in his Sir Farts-a-lot costume.
But Harry and I had to squeeze into a really small Ender Dragon outfit.
And, of course, I got the back end of the job.
Yup, I was the Ender butt.
Harry and I printed out extra copies of the new script and gave them to Burt and his gang to read.
“What? Why does Sir Farts-a-lot not have a Gold Sword?” shouted Burt.
“Yeah, and why does he read books?” asked Todd.
“Urgh. . .” grunted Braden.
“Well, Ms. Moldini said we can make our own unique version, so that’s what me and Jasper did,” Harry said.
“But you made Sir Farts-a-lot lame,” said Jeb.
“Yeah, this is not what we signed up for. Come on, gang, let’s just do our own thing,” Burt said while strutting away and swinging his sword.
HSSSS.
After class, I went to go see Steve.
He wasn’t at our usual spot, so I just sat down on the ground and waited.
. . .and then my eye sockets started tearing up.
“Whoa, Jasper. You’re crying so hard, I can almost tell what you had for breakfast,” said Steve.
I turned around and I saw Steve coming out of the mineshaft.
He did a quick glance at me and said, “You know what? I want to show you something.”
We walked for a while until we finally got to the Forest Biome. He climbed up to the top of a big hill and I followed him.
Once we go to the top, we sat down. I looked ahead and wow. . .the view was awesome.
“So, what’s eating you, Jasper?” asked Steve.
Wait. . .What?
“It’s that bully again, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking at my stubby feet.
“Well, Jasper, just remember that whatever this bully is doing to you, it’s not your fault. From what I know, bullies only do those things because they’re scared,” said Steve.
Huh?
Burt scared? That sounded weird.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah. I think every kid in school is scared, but especially the bullies. They try to make themselves feel better by picking on the other kids.”
Whoa. That was deep. I can always count on Steve to impart some wisdom on me.
. . .But for some reason I always have a headache after.
“Thanks, Steve. I’ll have think about that one,” I said with a half-smile.
“There you go, that’s the Jasper I know. Oh, and hey, you don’t have any more gunpowder on you? I need it for some more TNT,” Steve said.
“I kinda had a gunpowder buffet before you got here,” I said. “Enjoy.”
Wednesday
Today at lunch, Ed, Ned, Jed and Fred had some good news to share.
“We’re totally making progress on our science project,” said Ed the Enderman.
“From our experiments, it seems like different things cause different Wither reactions,” Ed explained.
“Like, one test we tried,” Ned said, “I ate a very spicy chilli. I felt it first, Jed felt it second, and Fred got the bubble guts.
“But we can’t get to the next part of the experiment, though. Every time we try, Fred’s butt goes nuclear,” said Ed.
“Talk about explosive diarrhea. . .” whispered Ned.
“A dishonorable discharge. . .” said Jed.
“Here it comes again!” said Fred.
Then we all ran for cover.
Man, it’s good to see my friends are having success with their project.
But, when are me and Harry going to resolve our drama class. . .drama?
Thursday
I totally wanted to skip school today.
But it’s not like Creepers can fake going to school.
I mean, like if I try to fake a sneeze, I’ll explode.
Or if I try to fake a cough, I’ll explode.
And if I try to fake a fever, I’ll explode.
Yeah, being a Creeper is no fun sometimes.
In drama class, Harry and I were trying to rehearse our play, but Burt and his gang were messing around again.
They would just run around with their fake swords and attack each other.
I was a bit creeped out when Braden the Zombie pulled of his arm and used it as a sword, though.
That was just wrong on so many levels.
Ms. Moldini came over and checked in on our practice.
“How’s everything going?” she asked Harry. I’m sure she would have asked me if I was the front of the costume.
“Terrible!” Harry said. “Burt and his friends aren’t helping us at all.”
Oh man. . .
Then Ms. Moldini marched Burt and his gang toward us.
“All right, Jasper, I want to he
ar your side of this,” said Ms. Moldini as I popped my head out of my Ender butt costume.
I looked over at Burt and his gang and they were giving me death stares.
But even though I was doomed, I took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth.
“Harry and I having been working on this script all week. But Burt, Jeb, Braden, and Todd haven’t helped us one bit.”
Ms. Moldini shook her head and turned to Burt and his friends.
“Burt, Jeb, Braden and Todd, please stop lollygagging and work with your group,” said Ms. Moldini. Then she walked away to talk to the next group.
Gulp.
Harry and I both felt holes burning in the back of our heads. We turned around and saw Burt and his gang. . .and they were furious.
PRRRFT.
Now that Ms. Moldini is gone, you’re going to get yours,” scoffed Burt.
“You’ve done it now, runt,” fumed Jeb.
“No one to protect you now. . .” breathed Todd.
“Urrrggghhh!” grunted Braden.
HSSSSSSSSSS.
“Run! He’s gonna blow!” shouted Burt.
Then Burt and his guys, and the rest of the class, ran out of the room.
“But we’ll see you tomorrow after school,” Burt yelled as he ran out of the classroom. “That is if you’re brave enough to meet us.”
“WE’LL BE THERE!” Harry shouted way too loudly.
Harry and I stood there in silence.
Oh boy. What have we gotten ourselves into?
Friday
Today was the day.
Today was the day that I had to prove that I’m not a chicken.
HSSSSSSS. Cluck. . .Cluck.
Ed, Ned, Jed, and Fred decided to come along.
“We’ll be here to back you up,” they said together.
Man, I have some of the best friends.
Even though Fred still had the bubble guts.
Nasty.
So, we met Burt in the forest, a few miles away from the school.
Burt and his gang were already there.
And as we walked toward each other, it felt like we were in a Desert Biome Western.
Anyway, without saying a word, my friends and I walked toward Burt and his gang to what was probably going to be our doom.
We looked around and there were giant trees and an open space for us to stand. And behind the trees, there was a giant cave.
“So, squirt. You have two choices,” Burt said. “Me and my boys can give you a severe beating or you can take a dare. What’s it going to be?”
Now, even though Harry can shoot lasers from his eyes. . .
And even though Ed can teleport. . .
And even though Ned, Jed, and Fred had the dirty dynamite. . .
The truth was, we’re just a bunch of kids.
We haven’t even finished going through puberty yet.
But Burt and his goons? I think they’ve gone through puberty twice. That’s probably why they’re are a lot bigger and meaner than we are.
It’s like they were born to pillage.
“The dare?” I said hesitantly.
“I thought so, pipsqueak. Then this is what you need to do,” boomed Burt. “See that giant cave over there? Well you need to walk around inside for five minutes.”
Heh, that didn’t seem so bad.
“And you can’t come out no matter what you hear or what you see,” Burt said with a scary smile.
Wait. . .What?
I turned toward the cave and my friends gathered around me. I could hear Burt and his gang laugh and make bets on how long I’d stay in the cave.
HSSSSS.
“Jasper, keep it cool. It’s just a cave! You can do this,” encouraged Ed.
“Yeah, go Jasper!” cheered on Ned, Jed, and Fred.
I felt a hot, sweaty hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got this, dude,” said Harry.
Nodding at my friends, I turned around and walked toward the cave.
HSSSSS.
It had been just over four minutes and nothing bad happened.
I’m gonna make it! I thought.
The cave was kind of peaceful, even though it was really dark and there was the occasional howling wind.
I started thinking of all the things that had happened to me these past few weeks.
The school play, the bullying, and all the drama.
But hopefully, I thought, maybe this dare will stop Burt and his minions from bullying me and my friends ever again.
Then suddenly. . .
RAAAWWWWRRRRR!
What in the world was that?!!!!!
HSSSSSS.
The roar definitely came from inside the cave. So I started hopping out toward the opening.
“You’re so close, Jasper! Just stay in the cave for another thirty seconds!” Harry shouted when he saw my head pop out.
Before I could reply, another roar echoed from the cave.
RAAAWWWWRRRRR!
PRRFFFFT.
Oh man, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Either the roaring was going to get to me or being stuck in an enclosed space with my nervous stomach was going to do me in.
“Ten. . .Nine. . .Eight!”
RAAAWWWWRRRRR!
Oh man! The sound was getting louder!
“Seven. . .Six. . .Five!”
RAAAWWWWRRRRR!
“Four. . .Three. . .Two!”
“GRRRRAAAWWWWWWLLLLLL!!!!!!”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
I couldn’t take it anymore! I ran out of there like a bat out of the Nether.
Then right behind me. . .
“GRRRRAAAWWWWWWLLLLLL!!!!!!”
“LOOK OUT!”
As I dove to the ground, a huge beast came flying out of the cave.
“IT’S THE ENDER DRAGON!”
“WHAT THE CRAZY WHAT?!” yelled Harry as we ran toward the trees.
“Maybe there was a glitch and a Portal opened?” asked Ed.
We all hid in behind a tree and looked out in awe.
HSSSSSSS.
“Keep quiet, Jasper,” whispered Ned, Jed, and Fred.
“It’s not me!” I said. Then we looked over to the only other Creeper among us.
Burt was scared. And so were the rest of his minions.
“How did the Ender Dragon get out of the End?” Harry asked.
Then Burt’s minions gave him up.
“It was Burt!” Braden said. “He wanted to fix you good, so he made an End portal in the cave hoping that you would fall through it.”
“Seriously?!!!” Harry said as his eyes started glowing.
Well, whether it was the embarrassment of getting ousted by his friends, or Harry’s glowing eyes, or the fact that we were all were sitting in a cloud of toxic air. . .sorry. . .
Burt just ran out into the field crying.
“WWWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
So there Burt was, in the middle of the open field, crying and hissing. . .But by then, the Ender Dragon saw him and came swooping back. . .and diving straight toward Burt.
We all gasped.
I couldn’t leave Burt out there. No matter how mean he was to me.
I mean, he didn’t deserve to get eaten by the Ender Dragon, right?
That was when I realized what I needed to do.
It’s hero time!
Friday Later that Night
“Everybody grab some branches!” I yelled.
So all the guys started breaking branches until we had enough to make some torches for each of us.
“All right, light them up!”
Jeb, the Blaze, and Harry lit them up.
/> We all grabbed a torch and ran toward the open area, to the other side of where Burt was.
“We started waving the torches like crazy mobs until we got the Ender Dragon’s attention.
So instead of eating Burt, he now started heading to eat us.
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Jasper!” Harry said. “Cause we are about to have some company!”
“Hold!” I said.
“Jasper, he’s coming right at us!” Ed said.
“Hold!”
“He’s crazy!” Ned said.
“He’s nuts!” Jed said.
“He’s inhaled too many toxic fumes!” Fred said.
“Hold!”
Gulp!
“NOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!”
Suddenly, we all threw our torches in the air, right when the Ender Dragon was going to chomp down on us.
PPRRRFFTT!
BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!
A giant fireball formed that hit the Ender Dragon dead on.
The force from the blast was so strong it blew us all back and blew some trees out of the ground behind us.
We thought we were dead, but then we all started getting up one by one.
“Where’s the Ender Dragon?” Harry asked.
“LOOK!” Ed said, pointing to the moon.
As we all looked up, all we could see was a little speck on the moon flying around like a bug flying around a big piece of cheese.
“YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!”
All of us were jumping, screaming and giving high fives. Well. . .most of us.
“Where’s Burt?” Harry asked.
Then as we looked around, we saw some leaves shivering in a far corner.
As we removed them, there was Burt under all the leaves. He had his thumb in his mouth and was rocking back and forth.