by Natalie Dean
Somehow the woman seemed to sense her tone and feeling over the phone. “I’ll have one of my sons take the two of you, don’t worry about a thing. What time do you need him there tomorrow?”
“Thank you. I think nine a.m. should do. Do you need the address?”
She laughed lightly, and it was a warm, comforting sound. “Oh darling, I helped your mother move into that house back when we were both young women. I know exactly where it is.
“Please, rest up and get some sleep. You’re not alone in this, Chastity. You have the whole town behind you.”
“…thanks.” Chastity didn’t know what to say to that. There was an inherent sort of niceness to her tone, and it made the situation feel less hopeless. “I appreciate that.”
“Of course, dear. If you need anything else, just let me know.”
“I will.”
She hung up, leaving Chastity staring at the wall. Sure, the situation was awful, but at least the people here were so much closer than people back in the city. If this had happened back in the Big Apple, she was sure that she would be more overwhelmed.
Hopefully, that closeness didn’t backfire on her somehow.
8
Ben
Ben gently pressed his heels into his horse’s side, deciding another fifteen minutes of riding wasn’t going to hurt anyone. The workers were finishing tending to the animals, and his brother had asked for a break from renovating the barn they were working on, so the ranch wouldn’t suffer if he took a little time to clear his head.
He rode past the dozens of hay bales they had, taking a deep breath of the twilight air as the sun sank behind the horizon. He loved this time of day. There weren’t the dangers that came with darkness, but there was the quiet of the world starting to tuck itself in for slumber. It made it easier to think, the pressing list of responsibilities in his head fading for a few hours.
Not that he hadn’t been thinking all day, just not about anything he was supposed to be concerned with. Ever since he had seen Chastity, his mind had lingered on her, replaying every second of their interaction on a loop.
The way she looked. The way she smelled. The curl of her full lips; the uncertain look in her eyes. Did she fear him? Was she ashamed? He couldn’t tell. It had been so long since he had seen her that he had lost the ability to read her emotions. Once he had prided himself on knowing her like the back of his hand. Now she was practically a stranger.
Albeit a stranger who he felt inexplicably tied to in a way he couldn’t explain.
Ben tried to harden his mind, trying to suppress the rising emotions. Chastity had made it clear her life belonged far away from here, and he was rooted right where he was.
…but was he okay with that?
He didn’t know.
Taking over the ranch as the eldest had always been a matter of course, but she’d made him question it before—and now he was again. Perhaps there was more for him beyond tending to the animals, barns, and dozens of other responsibilities that came with farm life.
His horse, Gertie, let out a whinny, drawing him back to reality.
“Come on, Ben,” he said to himself. “Snap out of it.”
He loved the ranch. He loved working with his hands and carrying on the legacy that had been so lovingly built for him. He loved that they specialized in happy animals, and though they didn’t replicate on a massive scale, it felt more like how God wanted humans to respect beasts of burden and livestock.
Why would he ever give that up to go to some stone-cold city where he had to work to make some other man rich? It seemed more like torture than a dream, and he didn’t think he would ever understand Chastity’s need to get away.
But he didn’t need to understand her, he told himself. Chastity was practically like a stranger now, and what she did was none of his business. It didn’t matter if she was back in town for her father’s funeral, she would be gone soon, leaving only a shadow and a memory.
Oh, and that empty feeling that was growing again in his chest.
Ben tsked to himself and pointed Gertie back to the riding barn. It was becoming clear that no matter how far or fast he rode, he wasn’t going to get his peace tonight.
How was she still affecting him this way? It’d been years of no contact, and she’d barely said ten words to him, yet he felt like she had left all over again. How stupid. He had too much to do to be worried about some high school love that hadn’t panned out.
Once Gertie was all taken care of, brushed, watered, and fed, he headed toward the main house. Normally, he could just go in his own door, but he was hoping maybe his ma was inside or even one of his brothers. For some reason, he didn’t really want to be alone.
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to think about Chastity. Or at least that was what he repeated to himself several times. It wasn’t because of the electricity that had crackled between them when their eyes met. And it wasn’t because he felt like he was obsessing over her now.
Ma was sitting in the living room, this time doing a cross-stitch as she rocked in her chair. She looked like the quintessential Western mother, humming to herself as she rocked.
“Hey there,” Ben said, crossing over to her and flopping onto their sofa. She gave him a look, never having succeeded in thirty years in getting him to stop throwing himself onto their furniture. Hey, he was a hard worker and the eldest, but he never said that he was perfect. “What are you up to tonight?”
“Oh, nothing,” she said, but Ben caught there was something odd in her tone. “I’m thinking about a friend who needs some help in town.”
“Really?” Ben asked curiously. He wasn’t sure what about it was piquing his interest, but he knew that something was up. “What do they need?”
“Ah, well she is having some medical issues and needs to go into the city for some special tests. They asked if we would be able to give them a ride, and I told them I would be more than happy to send them one of my brood. It’s the Christian thing to do, you know?”
Ben chuckled. “Of course, it is. You always love to help people, even at your own detriment.”
“What are you talking about? I think that helping people only ever helps myself.”
“Uh-huh. Remember when you broke your wrist helping someone with a busted tire on the side of the road when I was five?”
“Well yes, but they got home in time to see their daughter at her recital, didn’t they?”
Ben sighed, shaking his head. Maybe one day he would be as kind and giving as his ma.
“Fair enough. Who is it? I’m probably free.”
“Uh, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
That made Ben’s head snap up, and he studied his mother’s face. Something was definitely going on. Why did she look so guilty? The tiny, cold, tail end of an idea tickled at the back of his head, and he regarded her suspiciously.
“Who is this friend, Ma?”
“Mrs. Parker. Chastity’s mother.”
Several emotions raced through Ben’s mind all at once, and he wondered which ones flashed across his face. Most likely the angry one considering his mother’s expression.
Chastity’s mother was sick? Was it bad? It had to be if she was going all the way into the city. How horrible, to come home to the loss of her father and then have something happen with her mother. Maybe—
He cut off that thought. No. He wasn’t worried about her. It was sad, but none of his business. Chastity had made sure of that.
“I would never ask you to do it. I was planning on calling up Benji, but his phone’s been off all day.”
“Yeah, he messed it up last night when he dropped it in the toilet,” Ben answered, rubbing his temples. “He has one coming in the mail, but it probably won’t be here until tomorrow.”
“Oh, well if you would be so kind, you could ride over to his place and ask him—”
“No, it’s fine.” Despite the clamor in his head that said he shouldn’t get involved, Ben decided to be the bigger person. Maybe
he was a bit more like his mother than he thought. If Mrs. Parker needed help and he could provide it, it wouldn’t be very Christian to duck out of it.
“What time do they need me there tomorrow?”
“She said about nine a.m. It is a bit of a drive, and it sounds like there are quite a few tests to do. Thank you, Ben. I really didn’t expect you to do this. I didn’t even plan on telling you.”
“I know,” he answered with a sigh. “You always try to look out for all of us, even though we’re grown men.”
“You may be grown, but you’re still all my baby boys.”
“Your baby boys have all been taller than you since we were twelve.”
“The day that height becomes the cut off for maternal affection is the day I throw myself from a cliff.” She yawned and set her things to the side. “Well, now that I’m not worried about how to contact Benji, I think I’ll go have a lie down. Your father is already sleeping. He chopped some wood earlier and it wiped him right out.”
“The man has five sons and twelve workers. He really doesn’t need to be out cutting firewood for himself.”
“A man is a man is a man. Even at his age, he likes to do things for himself. I figured you would understand that more than anyone.”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Goodnight, Ma.” Ben stood to kiss her forehead, and she patted his broad shoulder lovingly. With that, she tottered off, leaving him alone with his thoughts once again.
Tomorrow was going to be awkward, stilted, and unpleasant, but at least he was doing the right thing and helping out a couple of people in need. Now that they were grown adults and had moved on, there was no reason why they couldn’t be friends.
Even if Ben was beginning to suspect that he hadn’t moved on at all.
9
Ben
Ben’s leg bounced as he drove his truck into town. It wasn’t that far of a drive, but it was far enough to give his mind the time to think way too much. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around Chastity. Would he be cold and detached? Maybe the silent treatment? Would he be friendly and act as if nothing was wrong?
Well, probably not that last one. While no one really called him mean as far as he knew, he wasn’t exactly the life of the party. A lot of different words had been used to describe him. Taciturn. Stoic. Reserved. Responsible. None of those really meant great at conversation, or comfortable around forced interaction with his ex.
He pulled up to their house, just off the main drag, and he realized that he was going to have to decide fast. He knew he didn’t want to be openly hostile, but he didn’t want Chastity to think that this was some pathetic way to get back with her.
No, he just wanted to help. He wasn’t sure if it was some leftover feeling of protection he had for Chastity, or his natural inclination to be responsible, or even an attempt to follow his mother’s selfless examples, but he supposed the reason why didn’t really matter now that he was at his destination.
The front door opened and Ben stepped out of the truck to help. It was an extended cab, so there was more than enough room for the three of them, but since it was so large, by the time he did get around, Chastity had already led her mother right up to the passenger’s side.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him, as if she was staring at a ghost. Ben was a bit confused by her surprise. But then it started to dawn on him that maybe she didn’t realize it was his mother that she was calling for help. That certainly made things a little awkward.
“What are you doing here?” she sputtered.
Ben couldn’t help but feel insulted. They hadn’t ended on the best of terms, but even standing ten feet away from her he could feel that strange force pulling them together, but that didn’t mean she needed to stare at him like he was some sort of specter.
“You asked my mother for a ride. She doesn’t drive much anymore, so here I am.”
“Oh… Annie is your mother?”
“Yes. Did you forget?”
She shrugged, still staring at him as he carefully approached to open the passenger door and help her mother in. “I guess I did. I don’t think I ever called her anything other than ‘Mrs. Miller.’ Doesn’t your dad call her ‘pumpkin’ all the time, or something?”
Ben couldn’t help but grin at that. Pumpkin was a long running joke from his parents first date where his mom had unfortunately found out that she had a severe allergy to pumpkins. Instead of enjoying pumpkin cider at a high school Halloween dance, they’d spent their night in the ER. It wasn’t a typical romance story, but they were still together and clearly in love, so something must have turned out right.
“Yeah. He does call her that. If I make you uncomfortable, I can get one of my brothers, but then you might be late.”
“No!” she objected a little forcefully and seemed to even surprise herself. “I mean, no, it’s fine. I’m sorry if I reacted poorly. You’re just possibly the last person I expected to see. Thank you. I really do appreciate this.”
She gave Ben a sheepish sort of look and it was hard for him to keep his heart from melting at the sight. How her dark eyes could always convey so much emotion still amazed him. They were far too easy to drown in, so he just tipped his head down, so he didn’t have to look at them.
“Apology accepted.”
Mrs. Parker leaned out of her seat between Ben and Chastity, looking amused. “Are we going to get on the road for these silly tests that I don’t really need, or just lollygag in the street all day?”
“Sorry, Mom. Just having a chat. We’ll be leaving shortly.”
“I don’t think we need to go at all. I’m just humoring you because I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Chastity’s gaze flicked to Ben in embarrassment, and he asked in a whisper if her mom really was sick. She nodded, giving him his answer. Well, that was that. He went to go to the driver’s seat, but paused for a moment, wondering if he should help Chastity into the back seat like he had aided her mother into the front, but Chastity was in the car before he could come to a conclusion.
At least that much hadn’t changed. Even from a young age, Chastity had always been independent.
Ben supposed that was why they ultimately went their separate ways.
Shaking that thought from his head, he went back around the truck and got in. As the engine came to life, it made him feel better. If anyone tried to draw him into a conversation, he could just comment that he needed to concentrate on driving.
He headed toward the main road and out of town when he heard Mrs. Parker begin to address him.
“You look familiar, young man. Do I know you? And more importantly, do you know my daughter, Chastity? She’s single, you know.”
“Mother!”
Ben couldn’t help when the corner of his mouth curled into a smirk at first. It seemed that it was a mother’s job everywhere to humiliate their children. But then another part of her statement sunk in. Did she not recognize him? He was aware that he had grown taller since his high school days where he would spend hours studying on their couch, but he was sure that he was distinguishable as Benedict Miller.
“Don’t you remember me, Mrs. Parker?”
She blinked at him, clearly confused. “Why would I recognize a cab driver?”
“A cab dri—” Ben cut himself off, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror to glance at Chastity. Her face had gone pale, and her eyes were firmly set upon her mother.
Oh.
It seemed she really was sick.
A sinking feeling filled Ben’s stomach as he realized what the situation might be. He fervently hoped and prayed it wasn’t the case, but he remembered when Auntie McKenzie’s mind started to go. It had been a terrible process, and in the end, she only recognized one of her daughters. He hated to think of Chastity having to go through that.
Lord, please let it be something curable by these doctors, he prayed to himself.
“This is Ben Miller,” Chastity said slowly, as if sh
e wasn’t sure that she should be correcting her mother at all or letting her stay in whatever reality she had at the moment. “You remember him from my high school days, right?”
“Ben? Ben Miller… I…” Mrs. Parker seemed to think about it, and then her eyes lit up. “Ah yes! He was the boy that you used to be head over heels in love with and the two of you were planning on running away together, right?”
Because of course she would say that.
The truck was silent for a moment with Mrs. Parker just blinking expectantly, like she didn’t understand what she had done. Ben wasn’t about to touch that with a ten-foot pole, so after what felt like a full minute, Chastity cleared her throat.
“Yeah. Used to.”
For some reason, those three words stung much more than they should have.
10
Chastity
Chastity wrung her hands as the highway whipped by, her mind seemingly everywhere at once.
Of course, it was Ben who would come and get her. Because that’s what life liked to do to her. And of course, her mother would have a moment of lucidity concerning the man where she would remember that they had once been an item.
It made far too many memories and feelings pop up. Ones that she had long stuffed deep down in her heart or shoved to the back of her head in her desperate march to pay the bills while constantly being broke.
When she was younger, she had been such a hopeless romantic. It had taken a decade in the city to hammer those tendencies out, but now she found them rising to the surface again. How ridiculous! She was a grown woman, but she was letting herself get butterflies over a man who—until very, very recently—she had assumed she would never see again.
Thankfully the conversation lulled for the rest of the ride, her mother instead humming ditties along with the radio. While the quiet gave Chastity too much time to think, at least it didn’t force her into conversation with the man who had almost managed to keep her from following her dreams—the dreams that weren’t exactly panning out like she had hoped.
Ben parked and went around the car like a gentleman, opening Chastity’s car door first but thankfully not physically helping her out. That he saved for her mother, whom he gently assisted out of his tall truck and onto the ground.