A Hole In One

by Paul Weininger

  “Frankly, it never entered my mind,” Neil lied. “I kind of thought it was a drive-by shooting and I just got in the way of the real target.”

  “Now, Rabbi, you really have no idea who might want to shoot you? You were coming out of the synagogue on a weekday, located in an up-scale neighborhood in Sedona where we have no drive-by shootings. Those bullets were intentional and were intended to kill you. Luckily, they were off by a hair. Think about it. Is there anyone you might have upset recently?”

  Neil replied anxiously, “Look, Detective, there have been rumors among a few members of the congregation that Mrs. Jacobson was having an affair and some people think it might be with me. Perhaps her husband thought so, too, and he possibly decided to make me his target to disrupt the affair. I swear to you, however, there is nothing going on between Mrs. Jacobson nor any other woman and me. That does not mean that I wouldn’t consider her as a possibility if she were single and also interested in me of course. Rabbis are permitted to date and marry, you know. But Rabbis do not cheat on our vows of remaining faithful to God. If Mrs. Jacobson is having an affair, it certainly isn’t with me. I’m also a golfer with three other partners and I know that I haven’t upset any of them nor anyone on the golf course enough to want to shoot me.”

  “By the way, Rabbi, we understand that you live in Flagstaff rather than near the synagogue in Sedona,” Pratt said. “That’s why Detective Somerville is here. Why Flagstaff, Rabbi? I’m asking because I thought the shooter may have known where you live and shot you there, instead of at the synagogue where members of the public could have witnessed it. Why live so far away? There are plenty of beautiful homes right here in Sedona.”

  “It’s really not that far. My trip usually takes me a half hour. I live in the Forest Highlands community. I picked Flagstaff for a few reasons. I’m not in the synagogue 24/7, though I do have to be there to conduct marriages, mitzvah kids, and attend to funerals. I wanted to have some privacy from the congregants. I didn’t want them to feel that they could drop by my home any time of day.”

  “Isn’t that a little unusual, Rabbi, to be so far from your synagogue?” asked Pratt.

  “Not really, I do need to have a private life. Where I live, the rear of my home faces a golf course which regrettably I can’t see clearly due to the immense amount of ponderosa pine trees and oaks surrounding the sides and rear of the house. I can however walk through two trees that are just slightly spread apart enough for me to squeeze through onto the second hole of the golf course on the days we four are playing,” he replied.

  “Who are the three others on your golf team?” asked Johnny.

  “Jack Green, Tony Pilaris and Todd Stern. Why do you ask, Detective? You don’t think one of them could be a suspect, do you?”

  “No,” said Pratt, “but they may know something to give us a clue. Okay, thank you, Rabbi, I’ll be in touch again soon. Just rest easy and get back to good health.”

  Three

  The morning right after her husband Jules left their home to go golfing and just three days after Neil was released, Carol called Neil around 7:00 a.m. She was very anxious. “I think Jules knows. He continues to ask suspicious questions and even hinted that people may be talking about us at the synagogue. If he finds out and can prove the things between us, it will force him to seek out an attorney for a divorce, and I’ll be up the proverbial shit’s creek financially. Maybe we should slow things down between us for a while?”

  “Listen, Sweetheart,” he said, “you’d be breaking my heart if we slowed things down. The worst he can do, should he file for a divorce, is to divide your assets in half. If he does, God willing, I’ll be able to take care of you, once we get married.”

  He thought about it a little bit further and said, “I could also lose my congregation as well, if Jules makes a mess of this whole thing. Even if all that were to happen, having been single my whole life, I have been able to save a large amount of money, well over two million dollars. If anything were to ever happen to my life, I have left everything to you as my sole beneficiary in my will, which is being held by my attorney Sidney Burr in Sedona. I think we just need to continue being careful. We need to meet in other towns near Sedona where it would be more difficult for anyone to keep track of either of us.”

  “Oh, Neil, I love you so much. My heart would also break without you, yet I’m still afraid of Jules for some reason. I believe he can hurt us somehow. I don’t know how but I think he may be the one who either shot you or hired someone to do so,” Carol replied anxiously. “What ideas do you have about when can we see each other again?”

  “Don’t worry, Darling. I’ll handle the matter through my sermons and in private meetings with some of the leading congregants at their homes. We’ll get this thing under control soon enough. In the meantime, Honey, you go about doing your regular chores and go shopping with your friends. I’ll buy you a prepaid cell phone and I’ll call the day before we are to meet or text you and sign it as Julie. That way even if he finds it, he’ll never suspect it’s from me. All you need to do is check it every day around 3:00 p.m. for my text message as to where and when we’ll meet. I’ll also rent a car and let you know where the prepaid rental will be. I’ll leave the car keys on the driver’s side rear tire. Then we’ll go away for an overnight trip that you and Julie will be taking often.”

  Neil asked her if she could come over for a while, and she replied, “I’ll be there within the hour, so leave your back door open.” Thirty-seven minutes later, she walked in the rear sliding door of the house and immediately came to him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed against him while giving him a long passionate kiss. They made love and then talked for a while until it occurred to her that Jules might be finished soon with his eighteen holes and she had better get home.

  ◆◆◆

  Just nine days after Bloom’s discharge from the hospital, Todd Stern, dentist extraordinaire and one of the four golfing partners, was shot at by an unknown assailant with a high-powered gun. Two shots were fired; both missed him but hit the front façade of his home. Why did Bloom’s golf partner Todd barely escape being another shooting victim?

  Dr. Stern was forty-years old, with prematurely light-gray hair. He lived in Sedona, was divorced, an avid golfer, and the second youngest of the four golfers. He and his wife married just three years after graduation from their respective colleges. Luckily for them, they had no children at the time of their divorce for irreconcilable differences. His wife had reached a point of self-discovery. Coincidentally for him, arriving home early one afternoon, he ran into his own discovery. Next to his nude wife in bed was another woman. After doing some research for the divorce, his lawyer was able to enlighten Todd that his wife had been a closeted lesbian when she first married him.

  Thirty-two months after the divorce was finalized, remarkably for him, he earned his first half-million dollars in one year alone, none of which had to be shared with his ex. Thereafter, his income doubled after two additional years, capping off at two million per year. The assets from their marriage included their rented apartment, Ikea furniture, $1200 in the bank, plus a 2010 Toyota Prius and a 2019 Honda Prelude. The older car was hers and the newer car became his. At the divorce mediation, he agreed his ex could have almost everything they owned. He happily continued paying the rent on the apartment until the lease was up, since she had left him for another woman, rather than a better-looking, more virile younger man. He no longer lived with her, since her girlfriend had moved right in. He certainly bore her no grudges, because in all other respects she was a good wife. But he kept the Prelude.

  A few months after the divorce, he became a state licensed RDA (Registered Dental Assistant) by assisting a local dentist. Todd’s duties were to prepare cements and impressions, take patient histories and assemble dental charts. Other duties included sterilizing and cleaning dental equipment in addition to managing the supply inventory. He created mouth guards, orthodontic retainers, impression tra
ys and temporary crowns. He continued his education with the end goal of becoming a full-fledged dentist.

  He started his own practice after finishing dental school and receiving his dentistry license, opening an office near the center of Sedona and building his clientele to fifty-two hundred patients within two years. Most of his patients remembered him from the time he was an RDA working for the other practice. Stern became a notably accomplished dentist to the Hollywood elite, who flew to Sedona just to be treated by him while vacationing in one of the country’s most beautiful locations.

  His reputation was ordained when one of the most popular Hollywood movie stars, Charlene Fenette, broke a tooth while vacationing in Sedona. She was referred to him by her hotel concierge. Recognizing her from the movies, Todd convinced her to return for three days and he would make her look more spectacular than she already was. She agreed because she found him somewhat attractive and sexy. He took the three days and implanted better veneers than the ones she had first installed at the beginning of the veneer era. Her originals were both tea and cigarette stained; she had them for more than thirty years.

  When she got out of his chair, the new veneers made her look twenty years younger. They were hard and elegantly white, but not so inordinately colored as to make them look fake. She was entranced with her new look. Overcoming her insistence to pay him, which at the time was money he could have really used, he told her that he would not charge her out of his admiration for her performances in the movies and his being such a huge fan of hers.

  “You are one of my all-time favorite movie stars!” he gushed. That was pure unadulterated bullshit, but it had the desired effect. As a result, when she returned to Hollywood, her recommendations to friends and colleagues became his calling cards to success. Some of Stern’s patients included Carla Merone, who starred in a real tearjerker, A Part of Me. Tom Marquise, star of the sci-fi blockbuster Earth’s Enemies was another top gun in the movie industry; and Jacob Houseman from the television law series, It Takes Only One, was another prized patient. These entertainers were but a few of the many wealthy Hollywood folks who came to be his patients. He treated directors, producers, and even one cameraman in addition to numerous television performers. As they came, his fees increased proportionately to what these people were able and willing to pay. As he once told his close friend Neil Bloom, “I realized that I’m no fool and the money is great.”

  Locals who were his regulars, living near his office in Sedona, admired him for not only his normal dental duties but also for his creativity in giving so many of them smiles which they were never able to imagine before. He also charged them substantially less because they returned regularly for their scheduled check-ups and cleanings. Upward mobility was the way to go.

  Four

  Detective Jason Sommerville, at forty-five, had his career goals outlined and he had the ambition to have attained most of them. He was five-foot-ten with blondish-brown hair. When he began his career as a police officer in Flagstaff, Arizona, he wore his uniform as directed: navy-blue shirt, black tie, dark blue trousers, and a brimmed hat similar to a cowboy hat but with a shorter flat brim shadowing his ears. He polished his badge every morning before pinning it on his shirt. So shiny that he was able see his face in it. His trousers had a permanent crease on the front of each leg. The night before his next day’s work, he washed, dried, starched and ironed his shirt and tie. Jason had been a police officer for twelve years and then was promoted to his current position as plain-clothes detective, which he had held for five years. His next goal was to become a captain of some police department, regardless of how long a drive he may have to get to his new office.

  Sommerville had a wife, Mary, and two middle-teen daughters. His job was to feed and protect his family; her job was to raise their daughters and get them into college. They had agreed that once his daughters were in college, Mary would return to her previous job as a Flagstaff police dispatcher, if there was an opening. If nothing was available at that time, she was willing to take a similar job at any of the nearest towns, even if she needed to travel to Sedona. The couple and their girls lived in Kochina Village near the famous Route 66.

  Jason knew Johnny Pratt very well through semi-annual meetings that the surrounding area detectives from different towns had with each other to exchange information on their various unsolved cases. Even though Pratt worked for the Sedona P.D., he was involved in this crime even though it didn’t take place in Flagstaff. He asked to work on the case with Jason in Flagstaff, because it involved a prominent Sedona Rabbi, who was also a Flagstaff citizen, and a similar shooting of a Sedona citizen. On occasion, both detectives had a few beers together and Pratt had been invited to Somerville’s home for dinner a few times. Shoptalk between the two men consisted of reiterating their commitment to share information and, when needed, assist each other in investigating a crime. They also agreed that when a crime was committed in either one’s town, the detective who resides in the town would take the lead in directing the operation.

  Flagstaff had the highest elevation on Route 66 and tourists often drove as far up as they could to park at an ‘overlook,’ where they enjoyed the spacious vistas and stared at the Grand Canyon, just eighty miles away.

  The Flagstaff area was well known for the largest contiguous ponderosa pine forest in the state, interspersed with white birch, oak, and elm trees. The Lowell Laboratory, also located in Flagstaff, was the observatory that discovered the planet Pluto. The average sunshine surpassed 250 days per year. The hub of the town was Resort Boulevard, which resembled parts of New Orleans and Nashville during the nighttime activities. Daytime activities available for visitors included horseback riding, canoeing on the Rio de Flag, hiking, frequent rodeos, the Native American Museum, and over a dozen restaurants, in addition to numerous locally owned gift shops, galleries, sports bars and buffets. A visit to the Petrified Forest National Park was another major attraction.

  On Wednesdays of each week Flagstaff hosted a social walk/run, poetry readings at one of the local cafes on Humphrey Street, museum touring, and for aspiring artists, there was a “painting” night in the heart of downtown Flagstaff’s YMCA. All residents and visitors were invited to attend and create a painting of their own, provided it was on canvass and not on the walls, tables, or floor. Winter sports were especially popular in the surrounding mountains.

  ◆◆◆

  Neil Robert Bloom had been Beth Israel’s Rabbi for twenty-two years. It was a Reformed Synagogue, or temple, as some of the congregants referred to it. It was considered the most exclusive synagogue in Sedona since most of the congregants were wealthier than synagogues in other towns. The term reformed refers to the most modern sect of Judaism, quite unlike older traditions such as the Conservative or Orthodox Jewish sects.

  In reformed synagogues, the service was done in English. It often had musicians or a cantor singing nigunim (songs of joy or bitterness), in addition to hymns for the congregation to sing along. This broke with the typical Conservative or Orthodox synagogues that only prayed in Hebrew and didn’t permit musicians. The Sabbath services, known as Shabbat, began on Friday at sundown and ended on Saturday evening.

  An important part of Sabbath services was the opportunity to pray, sing, meditate, learn, and develop comradeship. These services ended with a havdalah, which officially closed the services. Many congregations had a cantor, who usually had an exceptional singing voice. A cantor could be a soloist or the leader of a chorus, but they must have been ordained after having received extensive Hebrew education. The cantor—male or female—was required to sing all the Hebrew prayers, while some congregations had a choir of four to six people.

  Beth Israel Synagogue of Sedona had a congregation of over twelve hundred people, which enabled the Rabbi to live a better life than he would have had with a congregation in Sitka, Alaska, where one may have been able to count the Jewish population on one hand. The synagogue in Flagstaff already had its own Rabbi, which is why Neil was assign
ed to Sedona.

  Rabbis have always been permitted to marry but Bloom remained single. He may have been devoted to God, but he also knew how to have fun. When he wasn’t holding services or conducting other official duties, he enjoyed a good social life. Frequently, at the invitation of congregants, he joined them for dinner, either out at a restaurant (at their expense) or at their home. He dated a few times but strictly platonically, until he met Carol in Sedona.

  The more affluent people who attended his synagogue had given substantial pledges and cash donations over the years. Much of that money had gone to deserving Jewish, medical, and Israeli charities in addition to allowing Rabbi Bloom to properly administer the synagogue. This included his four-bedroom home in a classy suburb of Flagstaff and the two cars in his three-car garage.

  Bloom’s biological mother became pregnant at sixteen, giving birth at seventeen. His biological father was also seventeen and had promised to marry her. However, the biological father disappeared before she gave birth. His biological father had left a note for his parents. It read, “Sorry, Mom and Dad, but I did some stupid things and I have to move somewhere else. I’ll keep in touch from time to time and tell you why I left, but don’t worry, I did not break the law.”

  Neil was a healthy baby weighing six pounds, two ounces, as his adoptive parents later told him. They were a loving Jewish couple, Harvey and Julie Bloom, and to them he immediately became their flesh and blood. He just didn’t know he was adopted. They named him Neil Robert Bloom and every time they called out for him to come in from playing outside with his friends, they would call out “Neil Robert.” He was named after his grandfather on his father’s side, typical of Jewish tradition that you can only name your male child after someone deceased.