Ghost Note: A Rock Star Romance

by Vicki James

  With tattoos poking out of his T-shirt sleeves, and his toned thighs pressed against the material of his tight black jeans, he was someone I shouldn’t recognise. Those tattoos and that adult strength hadn’t been there before, but love was a familiar friend, and that’s what I saw when I looked at him.

  Love.

  Even though I hated it, the naive girl within me loved him. The scorned woman wanted to roll him off the roof and see how much he liked that.

  The two emotions were battling out, but love, as always, proved to be stronger.

  I walked forward on the flat roof, and before long, I’d shuffled my backpack off as quietly as I could so I could use it as a chair to sit down on while Danny laid beside me with his eyes closed. Just like in the polaroid pictures I had at home.

  I looked out across at the ocean. The beach was barren, and the waves crashed in slow, soothing motions as the moon twinkled across the inky sea. Pulling my knees up, I let my arms rest over them, and I sat there quietly, with old loves beside me and the ever-reliable horizon ahead.

  “I was giving you a day off,” Danny mumbled sleepily, his tired voice making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  I glanced down at him to see he had one eye peeking open.

  Danny unleashed his bright, white smile, and the scorned version of Daisy drifted away with the soft night breeze that blew strands of my hair over my face.

  “You still come here?” he asked with surprise.

  “Not until now.”

  “Why not?”

  “You know why.”

  Danny opened both eyes and blew a stream of breath out up to the sky. “Guess I do.”

  “Why are you here?”

  “You know why.” With a groan and a roll, he swung his body up until he was sitting beside me, copying my pose. The two of us were side by side with our arms hanging over our knees, like two familiar best friends who always did this.

  I studied his profile, unable to deny the pull I felt towards him.

  “You’ve weathered well, Danny Silver,” I admitted quietly.

  He turned to me, his eyes searching mine. “You, too, Daisy Piper.” He cast a brief glance at the rucksack beneath my bum. “Are you running away or something?”

  “It’s more like I’m running to something—to things I’ve been avoiding for a while now.”

  “Me?” he whispered.

  With a soft nod, I had to look away from him because looking hurt. He had eyes that were so easy to drown in, and I had suddenly forgotten how to keep myself afloat. “It’s easier if I hate you. Things are more manageable. The questions I ask myself in the middle of the night can be answered quicker if I feel nothing for you, Danny.”

  “What questions?”

  “The kind I torture myself with. Why did he leave? Why wasn’t I good enough? Who made him happy when I couldn’t? They’re easier to deal with when the answer is always the same: it wasn’t about me. No one will make him happy because he’s an arrogant, selfish arsehole who I never really knew.”

  “Is that what you really think of me?”

  “It’s what I want to think of you.” Turning back to him, I pinched my brows together. “I wish you hadn’t come back.”

  “I know.”

  “But I’m also glad you did. Not for me, but for Tim. For Amie. For Florence. I can sleep easier now knowing you did the right thing by them, and I’ll make sure everyone else around here knows it from now on.”

  “You don’t need to save me from the gossipers. I really don’t care what anyone thinks anymore… apart from you.”

  “If you don’t care about the rest of them, why do you care about me?”

  “I can’t believe you have to ask me that,” he said, his voice somewhat pained. I looked up to see him staring at me in confusion.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Danny. It’s not fair.”

  “How am I looking at you?”

  “Like anything I’d say to you could matter.”

  “You will always, always matter, Daisy. You and whatever you have to say.”

  “Just not enough to stick around.”

  Danny dipped his head, shaking it from side to side before he looked up with a smile on his face. “You know hanging around in the past is the coward’s way to live, don’t you?”

  “What does that mean?” I scowled.

  “All this pretending that I’m the big, bad villain. Focusing on what’s been and gone. I get it, Zee, I really do. You were hurt, and you won’t rest until you think the person who hurt you has paid. But you can’t hurt me more than I’ve hurt myself. You don’t see me hitting my own body hard with ten Hail Mary’s and a heap of self-flagellation every day because of it, though, do you? You never will. I’m not that guy. Yeah, I fucked up with you. I fucked up and somehow, I got something great out of it in the end with the music, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognise that I did fuck up. It just means that I forgave myself and kept on living because when you’re hurting is when you’ve got to be at your bravest. You’ve got to dare to dream and dare to jump. If you don’t, you’re just sitting around all day, every day, letting your mistakes or injustices suffocate you.”

  “Maybe it would have been easier for me to move on and be brave, as you call it, if you’d have had the balls to finish with me the right way.”

  “And what would the right way have been?”

  “A proper explanation would have been a good start.”

  Danny leaned closer, his face falling. “I did try, Zee. I tried to talk it through with you, and you ran.”

  I thought back to that night, and the way I’d stumbled over grassy banks and muddy pathways just to get away from the truth of him ending our relationship.

  “You ran, and then you blocked me out. No calls accepted. No doors answered. Your parents hated me within the hour, and I couldn’t get to you.”

  “I…” My scowl hurt. “You…”

  He reached over, resting his hand on my arm. “You, what?”

  I stared down at him touching me, unable to ignore the way my heart beat faster and faster with every passing second.

  “Tell me, Daisy. Say all the things you’ve got to say, because you weren’t entirely innocent in this thing between us, either.”

  “I will,” I said quietly. “Once I’ve figured out how to say them.”

  His face softened, a small smile creating a dimple in his cheek. “Don’t take too long. I leave soon.”

  Danny slid his arm from mine, and he sat back, looking out over the ocean again. I couldn’t take my eyes off his strong jawline, or the way his long, dark lashes blinked down slowly. The way his top lip turned up at the middle.

  “What’s it like?” I asked. “Your life now.”

  Danny eyed me with caution, but for the first time since he left, I found myself wanting to know. Needing to dissect who he had become so I could hold it up against who I’d always thought he was.

  “Is it everything you thought it would be?”

  “Sometimes. It’s tougher than I ever imagined.”

  “How so?”

  Blowing out a breath, he rolled his head back, the strong tendons in his neck straining as he closed his eyes and groaned. “We were doing okay when things were slower.” Danny dropped back down to lay flat on the roof, his arms folding behind his head and his ankles crossed… exactly how he’d been when I’d arrived. His shirt rode up, exposing a slither of strong muscle above his waistband. “We had a crappy publicist before Jules came along. We weren’t always getting the right gigs, so sometimes we’d have a manic month or two, and then it would go quieter for a while. Our manager is a real battle axe, but she’s good at keeping us on the straight and narrow. She just didn’t have that oomph about her.”

  “That oomph?” I arched a brow.

  Danny rolled his head my way. “That spark. You need that spark to get anywhere in life. You need to be able to push against the pull and to not be afraid of failing. She didn’t have that… not until
Jules came along.”

  “The lady with the baby,” I said, not wanting to inform him of my chat with her in my shop.

  “Yeah.” His smile erupted. “She definitely has that spark.”

  A weird knot of jealousy tugged at my stomach. “What makes her so special?”

  “Everything. She lives honestly. She’s not afraid to do what needs to be done. When Jules came along, she got rid of the crap we didn’t need, and in two years, she’s turned us from an okay band into the next Youth Gone Wild. Even with a name like Front Row Frogs.” He smirked. “The problem with that though is that we’ve been busier: producing more music, more time in the studio. More time on the road. More buses and blacked-out windows, private jets. More events. More fans. More noise.” He squinted in thought. “So much fucking noise, Daisy,” he whispered. “I can’t remember the last time I bathed in silence.”

  “It’s peaceful here.”

  “Yeah, and I want to bottle this feeling up. I want to carry it around with me and inject it into my veins when things out there get too… too…”

  “Hectic?”

  He nodded, his eyes finding mine again. “There’s only one thing that could make this more perfect than it already is.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If you’d come and lay down beside me.”

  I hitched in a breath, my first thought being to run and tell him that there was no chance of that happening, only to be followed by a longing that made my heart thump and my chest burn.

  A few awkward seconds passed by. Danny never took his eyes from me.

  “Okay,” I whispered, pushing my bag out from underneath me and sliding it next to his head. Using it as a pillow, I laid down beside him.

  “You can come closer than that if you want.”

  “I’m good here,” I said, too afraid to get closer than I already was. There were two feet between us, yet I lay there, rigid, with my arms down by my sides and the clear night sky above.

  “You’re lucky, Daisy, you know that?” I rolled my head on the bag to look at him. My handsome Danny, vulnerable and open. Honest and true. “I wish Hope Cove had been enough for me. I wish I didn’t need to do everything, see everything, and be everything. I wish I could sit still long enough to be happy with peace, always.”

  “Why?”

  “Because then I’d be able to be up here every night, doing this… maybe with you, instead of everything always being so loud. So fast-paced. So…”

  “You’re slap bang in the middle of the life you wanted for yourself, Danny. You can’t have peace and chaos living side by side. They don’t co-exist.”

  “I’ve always known that.” He swallowed, his jaw tightening. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish they could.”

  “You can’t have it all,” I said softly—because he couldn’t. None of us could. We had to be happy with the gifts we were given and stop wishing for more. When the lamp can only be rubbed three times, we have to make the most of those choices we’re about to make.

  “If you could have it all, what would that consist of for you?” he asked, staring up at the sky.

  You, and everything we had before you threw it all away. “I don’t know,” I lied, because lying was easier on my heart than the truth at that moment, and I was in survival mode, doing what I needed to do to make it from one hour to the next.

  “I think you do,” he whispered. “I think we both do.”

  “Some things are better left unsaid.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  I didn’t think I did, either, but I was fresh out of answers for both him and myself.

  Sliding my hand across the roof, I let it rest closer to his—an offering of peace in the middle of a war of emotions. “You want my advice? Enjoy what you have while you can, instead of always thinking about what’s to come and what won’t be there.”

  Danny slid his hand over mine, and before long, I was curling my fingers in his and staring up at the stars above with him…

  Thinking about how I wished Hope Cove had been enough for him, too.

  Hope Cove… and maybe me.

  Nineteen

  I woke pressed against something warm and comfortable. My hand slid up over material that covered smooth waves of rippled skin, and I could already feel the stinging of the sun beyond my eyelids. My entire body was relaxed into another in a way it hadn’t been for so long, and I revelled in the moment, a soft smile playing on my lips until I inhaled deeply and smelt that familiar aftershave invading my lungs.

  Danny.

  My eyes flew open, and I tensed. Our bodies were curled together the same way we used to sleep, with my head on his chest, and an arm and leg draped over him.

  We were still on the roof, and the sun was rising.

  “That lasted longer than I thought it would,” Danny’s sleepy voice mumbled above me.

  I tried to peel myself off him, but his arm tightened, holding me in place.

  “Please, don’t,” he whispered in a voice I’d almost forgotten. That soft voice I used to wake to every morning. The one that didn’t belong to the villain I’d created, just the one that used to right all my wrongs and soothe my demons. “It’s been a while since I’ve listened to you sleeping like that. I’d forgotten how relaxing those deep, peaceful breaths were.”

  With flushed cheeks, I buried my face into his T-shirt and let out a groan I couldn’t keep in before I pushed up and tore myself away from him. It was far too easy to lose myself in what was familiar, and that loss of control unnerved me. I’d become stronger in recent years, just not strong enough to resist Danny Silver.

  The sun was lighting up the view in front of me with pinks, reds, oranges, and deep yellows, and with a glance at my watch, I saw that it was 4:58 a.m. I turned on my bottom, feeling the aches of sleeping on a hard roof, but they all faded away when I saw Danny’s sleepy eyes and his familiar, yet distant face

  “I can’t believe we fell asleep up here,” I said.

  “Yeah, I lost you for a while there.”

  “You haven’t slept?”

  Danny shook his head, rolling it on my backpack. He’d obviously decided to use that as a pillow when I’d turned over to use him as mine. “Some things are worth staying awake for.”

  I winced. “Danny, don’t…”

  “Can’t stop me.” He smiled softly. “Like I said, Zee. You can dictate the time you offer up but not my curiosity… or my fantasies.”

  Pressing my lips together, I squinted and looked back out at the ocean. “I think I should go.”

  “If you think that’s for the best…”

  With a roll of my head, I raised my brow at him. “I think we both know it’s for the best.”

  “What’s for the best isn’t always what you want though, is it?” he challenged smugly. “What happened to your whole ‘enjoy what you have while you can’ philosophy from a few hours ago? I’m right here. Enjoy me.” He patted his chest.

  My attention drifted down to where I’d fallen asleep, my body longing to slide back into place for just an hour more.

  “Daisy,” he whispered, drawing my eyes back up to his. “No one’s going to know, and no one is going to judge you if they ever find out.” His smirk turned into a smile I recognised, and before I could stop myself with more worries, doubts, and fake hate, I slid back into place in Danny’s arms.

  “Don’t make me regret this,” I warned him as I looked out at the sunrise.

  “What kind of person regrets a cuddle?”

  “A person whose mind is a clusterfuck.”

  “Sounds intense in there.” He pressed a tender kiss to my forehead.

  I opened my mouth to say something and quickly thought better of it. There were so many things I could have said, and so many snarky comments I could have made, but for just one moment, I wanted to revel in the calm that flowed through my body. In harmony I hadn’t felt in so long, and serenity I’d missed.

  “If at any point, you want to sing for me, th
ough…” he whispered.

  “Not a chance, Danny.”

  “A guy can dream.” And dream, he did.

  Not long after, his breaths evened out and sleep finally took him, leaving me to lie there in his arms like we were lovers of old.

  Sleep somehow caught up with me again, and time passed until the noise of the early morning risers made me stir. I heard the milk delivery being dropped off at the B&B’s back doors, and my head shot up to take in the surroundings. The day was alive, and the sky bright blue now. It wouldn’t be long before the tourists descended, and the locals went about their days.

  “Danny,” I hissed, shaking his chest as I looked over to the fire escape steps. “Danny, wake up.”

  His sleepy groan made me break out in goosebumps, and when I looked down at him, his eyes were barely open enough to take me in.

  “We have to go,” I told him quietly. “Everyone is waking up. We need to get out of here.”

  “No.” He tried to pull me back to him, but I pushed him off until I was standing over his long body, stretching out my aches and pains from sleeping on a damn rooftop. “Zee, why did you have to wake me up and ruin my dream?”

  With a deep groan, Danny rolled over onto his stomach and pressed his head into his hands, giving me a perfect view of his strong, athletically toned backside beneath those tight jeans. I had to look away and remind myself he wasn’t mine to ogle anymore.

  Sometime between me trying to count to a hundred to distract myself, and him muttering about what an injustice it was, he made himself get up, and he threw my backpack over his shoulder, rubbing a sleepy eye with his knuckles when he came to a stop in front of me.

  “Okay, Sarge, where we headed?”

  I raised a brow. “We aren’t going anywhere. I’m going home to change and freshen up before another long day at work, and you… you’re going back to wherever it is you’re staying…” My voice trailed off, and I frowned up at him. “Where are you staying?”

  “Gran’s place… which is technically my place now, I guess.” He frowned, too. “At least until I sell it.”

  I gaped at him. “You’re selling it?”