by Vicki James
She scooped Corey up into her arms, balancing him on her hip. “I’m so sorry. He’s got wet sand all over your legs. I can’t seem to keep this kid away from you.”
“It’s fine,” I said, clutching my sandwich. “I kinda like that he enjoys my company.”
“No kidding. He was saying your name on repeat last night. Rhett told me to put a muzzle on him or something.” She laughed and glanced over her shoulder. “He’s just over there sprawled out on the towels if you want to join us?”
“I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“And I wouldn’t invite you over if I didn’t want you to impose. Plus…” She bounced Corey on her hip. “This little guy might like it.” She glanced at him, her eyes lighting up with love for her son. “Do you want to show Daisy your dumper truck and spade, Corey?”
“Day-zeeeeee!” he cried again, pointing a chubby finger at me.
“See.” Jules looked back at me.
“Okay.” I gave her a nod and followed her over to the sprawled-out towels where Rhett lay next to the rocks. There was a slither of shade there, and they’d set a little pop-up tent, which I assumed was for Corey and the bag of toys they’d brought with them.
“Hey, Sinatra,” Jules said, pushing her toes into Rhett’s stomach. His eyes popped open to take her in, and he immediately threw an arm over them to shield himself from the sun. “Get up. We have company.” Jules winked and tilted her head in my direction.
Rhett looked at me, and I offered a weak wave.
“Hey, Daisy. What’s up?” With a groan, he rolled to sit up, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from drifting over his tanned, toned, and inked skin. Rhett may have been with a woman as gorgeous as he was, and a woman I liked, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate how handsome he was; a quality a lot of successful rock stars seemed to carry. “You here alone?” he asked, looking behind me.
“Yeah, just grabbing some lunch.” I waved my sandwich in front of me. “Closed the shop for an hour while I ate.”
“Right.” He nodded, reaching for his sunglasses before pushing them over his eyes. Rhett brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “Well, take a seat anywhere you can find a space that doesn’t have one of Corey’s eleven thousand toys parked over it.”
With a laugh, Jules cleared a space for me with her foot, and I dropped myself down into it, curling my legs under my bottom and making sure my dress covered as much of my legs as possible.
“Quite a show last night, huh?” Rhett said, his brow raised.
I dropped my sandwich wrapped in foil onto the blanket. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
“Danny said you were a gig virgin.”
“Oh, Jesus, Corey, will you just sit still for a minute?” Jules cried, her attention drifting to her son as he giggled and waddled away towards the water. “Sorry, guys, I’ll be right back.”
Rhett’s gaze followed them, and he couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at his lips. “He’s his mother’s son, all right.”
There was a pull to their love you couldn’t help but lean into. I barely knew this family in front of me, but the warmth they offered wasn’t to be missed, and it felt as natural to be around them as it did to breathe air into my lungs.
Which was… weird.
I followed Rhett’s gaze and watched Julia as she scooped Corey up and spun him around with the biggest smile on her face, with Corey’s legs kicked out and his laughter pouring free.
“You guys always look so happy together,” I found myself saying.
“We are.” I turned to see him watching them as though he couldn’t believe they were real—that they were his. “She’s changed my whole life. Made me see shit I didn’t see before.”
“Like what?”
Rhett’s eyes found mine, the connection there despite us both hiding behind sunglasses. “Like what’s important and what isn’t. The same shit I’ve been drilling into that head of your boy’s.”
“Danny isn’t—”
“Yours. Yeah, yeah, I know.” He smirked. “Heard it all before. Said the same shit myself a few times along the way. Thing is… someone doesn’t have to be living beside you every minute of every day to be yours. They can be half a world away, and they’ll still belong to nobody else but you.”
“I’ve never really understood that. If someone loves you, why would they want to be away from you?”
“Because they love themselves, too, and that’s just as important. A person shouldn’t have to give themselves up to keep another happy.” He looked at Jules again, leaning into his knees more. “When we first got together, and we found out Jules was carrying Corey, she said she was leaving me.”
“What?” My mouth fell open, but Rhett’s smile just grew.
“Yeah. She used to be the publicist for my band. She got me all hooked up on her shit and then told me she was leaving to go and take care of Front Row Frogs. I damn near lost my mind.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Because she’s a clever little arsehole who’s always right.”
Corey’s laughter made me look his way again, and I watched him trying to push his mummy into the ocean by pressing his balled-up fists into the back of her legs.
“She travels away every now and again, taking Corey with her. She does it to keep herself on her toes. She didn’t want to settle with our band. She wanted to see what other lives she could impact—who else she could push to succeed. I thought I’d miss her too much for it to work, but do you know what happened?”
“What?”
“Her absence made me want her more. Whenever she’s not there now, I’m rushing through life, desperate to get back to her, and even on the days when the ache of missing them makes me do stupid shit or say things I don’t mean, I love that absence makes the way I feel about her just grow and grow and grow.” Rhett huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “It’s some fucked up shit. Kind of annoying how she knows what I need more than I know it myself.”
“You should write a song about it.”
“Believe me, I’ve tried. Many, many, many times. Come close a few times, too, but I’ve not hit the mark yet. Nothing’s described the way it feels.”
“She’s lucky to have you,” I said quietly.
He laughed fully. “She’s a glutton for punishment. Nah. I’m the lucky one. She’s an idiot. I don’t know what she sees in me.”
I smiled. “It might have something to do with the way you talk about her to strangers like me.”
Rhett pushed his glasses up and made sure I could see his eyes. “We might not have met before this week, Daisy, but you’re no stranger. I know more about you than you can imagine. Don’t romanticise the way I talk about Jules if you don’t realise that it’s nothing compared to the way Danny drones on and on about you.”
“Oh, I…” I blushed instantly.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“No, but I’m not sure what I’m meant to do with that. It doesn’t change anything. His life is his now. Mine is here.”
“Do you want to know the best thing about falling in love with a rock star? There are no rules. Nothing is impossible. Your life can be wherever you want it to be. His, too. You guys just have to figure out whether it’s worth it. If it isn’t, let each other go once and for all. If it is…” he gestured to Jules and Corey, “go, chase the kind of shit I never thought was possible because once you have it, I swear to you, every bad day you’ve ever had will seem worth it in the end.”
I swallowed, trying to douse the fire in my chest that was growing. “For a guy covered in tattoos and a pierced nipple, you’re kind of charming and poetic, Rhett,” I said with a soft smirk of my own.
Rhett huffed out a laugh and rubbed his right pec. “Blame Jules for the piercing. She wanted to see what it looked like on me. Hurt like a bitch, too. The shit I do for that woman. As for the other stuff,” he shrugged, “it’s only the truth. I speak it, even if it lands me in trouble more of
ten than not.”
“Trouble I have a feeling you don’t mind being in.”
“A life without a bit of shit thrown in it is a life I don’t wanna live. How are we gonna appreciate the good stuff without it?”
“I love your optimism.”
“It hasn’t always been this way. Do you want to know what it all comes down to though?”
“What’s that?”
“The truth matters. If more people were honest with themselves and said what they feel in their hearts, there’d be more happiness in this world than misery, and I don’t know how it got to this. I don’t know when we started teaching each other that living a lie is just the way it’s done—the way to get ahead.”
I glanced down into my lap and fiddled with my dress, just for something to do. “The truth often comes with a price some of us can’t afford.”
“And that’s the kind of bullshit we feed our minds to convince ourselves we aren’t fucking up.”
Looking up at him, I held his gaze. “Do you think I’m fucking up, Rhett?”
“Absolutely.” He smiled. “But it’s not too late to un-fuck this mess. Danny’s yours for the taking, Daisy. You don’t need me to tell you that. You’ve never needed anyone to. It’s as obvious as the day is long.” With a sigh, he nodded to my sandwich. “Now, eat up. The therapy was free. Danny would kill me if he thought I was leaving you hungry, too.”
“You’re sweeter than I imagined.”
“Me? Pft. I’m nothing but a sucker for a pretty face.”
Thirty-Three
“How did it go?” I asked Danny as I opened the fridge to see if there was anything for me to eat, wedging the phone between my ear and shoulder to lift a packet of cheese with one hand while my other tugged at a half-finished Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut.
“It’s Gina. She pulled no punches.”
After closing the fridge, I peeled open the packet before snapping what was left of the bar in half. “She probably didn’t mean a lot of what she said. She’s not had anyone to lash out on before now. Apart from me, she’s been alone for a lot of it.”
“She definitely got a lot of shit off her chest. I’m exhausted.” I heard Danny start his car. “Switching you to handsfree. Hang on a second.”
I broke off a small square of chocolate and chewed while I waited for him to come back.
“You there?”
“Mmhmm,” I mumbled. “Just eating. Can’t seem to stop today. I’m starving.”
“You’ve burnt a lot of calories these last two nights.”
“Shut up.”
Danny laughed, and the sound of it was inspiring. “Can I come over?”
“You can, but I thought tonight might be a good night for us to go do the thing at your mum and dad’s house.”
He met me with silence, and I heard the engine roar louder like his foot had turned to lead on the accelerator.
“Wouldn’t it be better to get it done today so you can enjoy your last full day with me tomorrow?”
“My last day,” he repeated. “This week has gone so fucking fast.”
“It has, so let’s deal with your ghosts tonight and finish on a high. Pick me up in fifteen?”
“Fine but try not to look too gorgeous. It’d feel really wrong of me to want to fuck you through all of this.”
With a small laugh, I grabbed my bar of chocolate and began to make my way upstairs to get changed. “Don’t make this weird, superstar.”
“I’m not the superstar here.”
Once the call ended, I dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized khaki-coloured T-shirt, not needing a jacket with this summer heat that was holding us all captive. I slipped on my Converse, and I threw my hair up, making sure to spray some perfume to freshen me up from my day at the shop. By the time Danny pulled up in his Scirocco, I was waiting, leaning against my garden gate. Even with his sunglasses on, I saw his face light up.
My stomach flipped as I slid into the passenger seat and locked my seatbelt into place. When I looked at him, he was staring at me appreciatively.
“I told you not to look too gorgeous.”
“I’m in my scruffs. How much more casual can I get?”
“Naked’s pretty casual.”
“My birthday suit is for parties only.”
“That better be private parties with only one guest allowed.”
I raised a brow. “Getting jealous, Danny?”
He huffed out a laugh and looked out through the windscreen, shaking his head. “You’ve no idea.”
I thought I did, but I kept quiet anyway.
It wasn’t long before we were driving down familiar streets again, only this time I wasn’t pushing myself to the edge of the seat to create distance. If I could have climbed into his lap, I would have, but that was the stupid, giddy teenager inside of me talking. Fortunately, the journey to his parents’ home wasn’t far, and when we pulled up outside and drove Danny’s car onto the driveway, any intimate thoughts of he and I together drifted away, leaving me to stare up at old ghosts made of bricks and mortar.
The house looked as though it, too, had passed away. Where once the sun shone through the windows, lighting it up along with the love it held within those walls, now it just appeared cold, alone, and somewhat deserted. Or maybe that was nothing more than my own guilt talking. I’d avoided this place as much as Danny had over the years, but my reasons had been the selfish kind linked to the broken heart of a young woman who couldn’t look her happy memories in the eye.
Since Danny left, I’d spent my time thinking he’d been the most selfish of the two of us. Now, I was starting to think that maybe we could have been as bad as each other.
Danny stared up at his old home with his breath held in his chest. I placed my hand over his on the gearstick. “You’ve just got to remember one thing, okay?”
He turned to me with worry in his eyes. “What?”
“There isn’t anything you can’t do when you put your mind to it.”
He squeezed my fingers before he exhaled and nodded his agreement. The doors opening and closing sounded like bombs going off in the quiet of the street, and I took a moment to glance up and down it. The neighbours’ homes were just as lifeless, and I wondered if they felt like they couldn’t live quite as fully as they once had with the Silvers’ house sitting proudly above them, reminding everyone around not to take life for granted. It could be gone in a minute. A minute too soon. A minute we thought we had so many more of.
“It feels so weird here,” I admitted. “Everywhere looks…”
“Grey?”
“Yeah. Grey.”
He blew out a breath and glanced at the other homes nearby. “Let’s get this over with quickly.”
Where he led, I followed, knowing that sometimes silence was the best support and encouragement you could give. The key turned in the lock, and the door creaked open, the haunting groan of its aching past ringing out. We were greeted with the familiar hallway, where dark wooden flooring met bright, white walls filled with pictures of Tim, Amie, and Danny together on different adventures.
There was no easing into this. No box for him to blow the dust off and open slowly to reveal memories he could pick and choose from. Amie had decorated every inch of her home with Danny’s face throughout his years, with Tim and Amie not far behind in most of the pictures.
Suddenly the greyness of the street drifted away, and all I could see was a life filled with love and happiness, smiling faces and unforgettable memories. A familiar home full of colour, where the echoes of every laugh ever shared here floated through the air.
I hadn’t realised I’d stepped inside before Danny, my eyes wide with wonder and a smile breaking free.
“Your mum was so, so beautiful,” I whispered, reaching up to run my finger over a picture I’d seen of her a hundred times before, but never paid much attention to. Danny and I used to fly down the stairs at dinnertime and run past it, not realising how valuable it would be to us both one day, or u
nderstanding how we should have appreciated it while Amie was alive. Her long, blonde hair flowed out against the wind in the picture, and she had her eyes creased to battle off the sunlight as she held a baby Danny in her arms and smiled for the camera.
The next picture was of Tim and Danny working in his garage. Tim held a saw and was halfway through cutting up a long plank of wood, while Danny scratched his head and held up a screwdriver with a frown on his face.
I laughed and moved onto the next, and the next, and the next.
“I don’t think I can do this, Daisy.”
Looking up, I took him in. Danny was standing by the door still, turning a single key over and over in his hands like it burned to hold for too long. He was no famous, unbreakable, cocky superstar then.
He was the unsure Danny who’d run up to me to ask me out.
The guy whose eyes had been unusually sad as he sat on the bonnet of his car and told me he was leaving, and we were done.
He was the guy who’d told me he couldn’t possibly take the guitar I’d bought him.
Danny was shaken as he stood in the doorway of his childhood home, so I went to him. Taking his hand in mine, I guided him down the hallway slowly, until I came to a stop in front of a picture I felt was appropriate.
“See that.” I pointed up at it.
He swallowed and cleared his throat, scratching an eyebrow before he forced himself to look.
In the picture, Danny must have been about eight or nine. He was in the middle of one of his skateboarding competitions, halfway down a skate ramp, his body bent, and his concentration on nothing but the curve ahead. In the background, his father cheered with his arms in the air and his mouth open as he spurred Danny on to victory. His mum was standing by Tim’s side, with her hands clamped to her mouth, and her face creased up with both pride and fear.
“Look how proud of you they are,” I whispered. “And then look at the picture next to it. And the one above that. And the one next to that.”