by Lea Coll
His hand braced on his neck as he looked down instead of at me. “I’d ask what you’re doing here, but I’m not supposed to.”
“I have to get going. It’s late.” I hadn’t checked on my mom all day. I made a move to leave but he stopped me with his hand on my elbow.
“I come here to avoid seeing anyone I arrested in my capacity as a police officer.” He raised his brow in silent question—why did I feel the need to attend a meeting a town over from mine?
“I need to go.” There was a roaring in my ears, but I kept my voice soft and my eyes drifted to where his hand still gripped my arm. I didn’t want to tell him why I was here.
“Sadie.” His quiet command stilled me.
“Yeah?” Against my better judgment, I looked into his warm blue eyes—filled with understanding and sympathy.
“It’s probably not the time or place but I wanted to let you know I secured the fire hall for your dance-a-thon.”
“You did? Is there a rental fee?”
“No, Jack loved your idea. It didn’t take any convincing.”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should have it at the studio.” It was probably too late to backpedal but I had to try. With him here—he was already close to finding out my background.
“But this will mean more people and we’ll raise more money.” His tone was uncertain like he’d expected me to be happy with this development.
I chewed my lip. It was too late to change my mind now. If I refused to approach the police department, he’d want to know why, and the only rational excuse was the truth. I wasn’t ready for that. “If you think it’s a good idea.”
“I do.” His eyes were alert and he’d shifted closer to me.
I was only delaying the inevitable. He’d find out eventually, but maybe Tanner would be different. Maybe he’d talk to me before he believed the rumors. “I’d better go.”
He nodded. “Take care of yourself.”
Worry about what he would think of me once he found out swirled in my stomach. As much as I wanted to hope for the best, there was no way Tanner would ever look at me the same way once he found out the truth.
Before easing into the passenger side of my car, I glanced around to make sure no one saw me before I ducked inside and over the console as quickly as I could. I turned on the car but didn’t bother turning on the heat. I couldn’t remember the last time it had worked. I pulled on my gloves and hat so that I could drive without numb fingers and pulled away from the curb. When I passed the church, I looked, against my better judgment, and saw Tanner standing outside watching me.
The idea that he’d find out what happened with Dennis made me sick. I wanted to believe that things could be different. That enough time had passed people’s opinions of me had softened, but the logical part of me knew I’d screwed up so badly I’d never overcome my reputation.
Tanner
I watched TV with Rylan while I waited for Bree to arrive. She was supposed to take Rylan one evening a week and Wednesday was her night, but she’d asked to switch it to Tuesday. It meant that she would need to take Rylan to hip-hop class, and I wouldn’t get to see Sadie.
Every time I thought of my conversation with Luke about Sadie, I got pissed off all over again. I wanted to push back at Luke and this town. I wanted to know what happened to Sadie and I wanted to fix it. She might not be a victim. She might have covered for Dennis as Luke suggested, but I didn’t think so.
I wasn’t surprised she was backtracking on the fundraiser. After talking to Luke, I figured she was probably worried about swirling up rumors about the case or some of the officers not participating because of their memories of the investigation. It was fucked up because it was a great idea. It would be fun and family-friendly with the added bonus of raising money for a good cause. I smiled. Rylan would love it.
I glanced at my phone. Bree was ten minutes late—it was unlikely she’d show up—again. I wouldn’t worry but I had to leave for dance in five minutes or Rylan would be late. I hit call and waited while the phone rang.
“Tan? Whatcha doing?” Bree’s voice was high-pitched and slurred.
I ground my teeth together, every muscle in my body tense. She was drunk or high or both. I needed to be careful with my words because Rylan was listening even if she acted like she wasn’t. I walked into the kitchen and lowered my voice. “You were supposed to take Rylan to dance class—the one you signed her up for but never attend.”
“Was that today? Whoops.” She giggled.
I gripped the counter tightly so I wouldn’t punch a hole in the wall. I heard the phone drop and a scuffle as she tried to pick it up. “Sorry, I dropped the phone.”
There was more giggling and then another female voice asked, “Who are you talking to?”
Her hand muffled her voice. “Nobody. Give me a sec.” Then to me. “Tan?”
The fact that she’d called me and essentially her daughter, nobody, pissed me off. I was sick of covering for her and there was no way in hell I’d allow her anywhere near Rylan in this state. “I’ll take her to class. Where are you?”
She hesitated. She was inebriated but not enough that she’d forget I was a cop who’d have someone check on her and make sure she didn’t drive home. If Bree had a DUI charge, it would make for a better custody case, but I didn’t want Bree to hurt herself or someone else.
“Don’t drive home. Get an Uber.”
She hung up without another word, making me want to scream. I wanted to hit something but I couldn’t. I had to be the adult—a good example to Rylan—because Bree certainly wasn’t. A tension headache crept up my neck. I didn’t want to deal with Bree and her issues, and I didn’t want Rylan to feel the effects of my frustration with her mother.
I sent Luke a text indicating that Bree was somewhere drinking and to have an officer check if she was at one of the few restaurants or bars which served alcohol to make sure she didn’t drive home drunk. I was going to be really late, but I wanted to make sure Luke got my message.
As soon as his sure thing text came through I walked into the living room. “Come on. Time to go to dance.”
Rylan looked at me in confusion. “Isn’t Mommy coming?”
How could Bree put me in the position of lying to our daughter? My jaw was so tight I could barely form the words. I swallowed and took a couple of deep breaths to steady my voice before speaking. “She’s working late.”
I was at the point where I wanted to stop telling her when Bree was supposed to show. It would prevent these conversations. I picked up her dance bag. “Come on. Put your shoes on. You can wear your new high-tops.”
“I almost forgot.” She jumped up to grab her new shoes. It took me two tries to tie them with my fingers shaking from the anger coursing through my body.
“Let’s go.” She buckled herself into her car seat and we drove the short distance to the studio.
I looked in the rearview mirror, where I caught Rylan’s forlorn expression. She didn’t always say it, but I knew she was upset her mom wasn’t here. My heart squeezed as the usual feeling of helplessness washed over me.
“Guess what?”
“What?” Rylan stared out the window.
“I’m helping Miss Sadie with a dance-a-thon and we’re hoping to have it at the fire station.”
Her wide eyes shot to mine. “Will the firefighters be there? Is there a fire pole?”
My shoulders lowered as the tension eased from my muscles at her change in mood. “That’s the idea and maybe the police officers too.”
“But is there a fire pole in the fire station?”
“I don’t think so.” But when her face fell, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to disappoint her. Whatever she wanted, I wanted to give her. That feeling intensified when Bree let her down.
When we pulled open the door to the dance studio, the waiting room was already packed with people and louder than usual.
“Are you helping Sadie with the dance-a-thon?” a mom asked as she tried to t
ie her daughter’s shoes.
I placed Rylan’s bag on the remaining empty chair and wondered why she wanted to know. “Yeah, it was the only thing left on the volunteer sheet.”
“I’m Angelina’s mom, Tara.” She held her hand out to me.
Relieved she was just being friendly—I shook her hand. “Tanner. Rylan was excited that Angelina was in this class.”
Tara leaned over to fix Angelina’s hair. “I heard it’s going to be at the fire station this year.”
“I asked Jack if we could use the fire hall.” I scanned the room looking for Sadie, who was talking to another mother at the counter.
“Samantha was talking about it at the bakery yesterday. You’re going to get the firefighters and police officers involved?”
“I was going to ask. Sadie thought it would be cute if people pledged to dance with the officers and firefighters. The money could go to a local charity.”
Tara stood while Rylan told Angelina about the show she was just watching. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I tensed and I felt a muscle ticking in my jaw. “Why do you ask?”
“It’s just—” She looked around the room until her gaze fell on Sadie, who was still busy. “I didn’t think the department would want to join forces with someone who’s a liar.”
I ground my teeth at her unfair accusation. “She didn’t lie.”
“She did nothing and my friend died.” Tara’s eyes hardened and her lips drew into a straight line.
The conversations around us faded and I barely noticed when the children responded to Sadie’s call to start class. When I went on a call where tensions were raised, I knew I had to defuse the situation by staying calm and being reasonable, and I tried that tactic now. “I’m sorry about your friend. I didn’t live here when the incident you referred to happened, and I don’t have all the details, but you don’t either. I think it’s wrong to judge someone when you don’t have all of the facts. The way I see it, Dennis Moore was convicted of assaulting Annabelle. He’s the one responsible, not a minor who may or may not have witnessed anything.”
Tara sucked in a sharp breath and her cheeks flushed pink. “Well, I—everyone knows what happened. It was all over the news. Everyone was talking about it.”
“Only those who were there know what happened. Maybe Annabelle confided in you, but did she tell you everything? Was she honest with you? There wasn’t a trial. No evidence was ever presented. Dennis Moore pled guilty. Those are the facts.” Then I picked up Rylan’s bag and moved to a different chair.
Why did this town hate Sadie for something that happened when she was a girl? What was it like to have no one on your side? What would it have been like for a seventeen-year-old in the middle of a police investigation that made national headlines?
I couldn’t imagine Sadie having to deal with these rumors all the time, and the biggest question was, why did she come back? Why didn’t she move somewhere else and start over?
After checking the window to ensure Rylan was fine, I settled into a chair. I texted Luke and asked to meet to discuss a charity function. Maybe the fundraiser could turn things around for Sadie. At least I hoped so. The town could see what I saw in Sadie. She was caring, sweet, and wanted to help others. Even if she had made a mistake in high school, she was a minor. The issue with her last job was concerning though. Could Luke be right and there was more to Sadie than I’d seen so far?
Luke asked when I wanted to meet up. When he asked which organization would benefit, I realized Sadie and I never settled on anything. I’d mentioned national organizations, but she thought something local would be better. Maybe Luke would have some ideas.
Tanner: Why don’t you come over tonight? We can talk after Rylan’s asleep.
Luke responded with the thumbs-up emoji.
“Daddy!” Rylan skidded to a stop in front of me.
How had I missed her class coming to an end? “Hey, how was it?” Her cheeks were rosy from exertion and her eyes twinkled with happiness.
“It was so fun. Did you watch? We’re learning some dance moves for the dance-a-thon.”
“That’s awesome, Ry.”
“Hey Tanner, I wanted to talk to you about the joint fundraiser for the dance-a-thon.”
I looked up to find Sadie standing behind Rylan wearing a black mesh shirt which revealed the neon lime sports bra and pink-studded belly button ring underneath, leggings, and black high-tops. I tore my eyes away from her. “Why don’t you come over one night this week and we can discuss the fundraiser over dinner?”
She glanced around and I noticed some of the other mothers around us were quiet and a few were openly watching us.
It didn’t bother me if others had problems with us talking or hanging out, but Sadie seemed concerned.
She crossed her arms over her chest and chewed her bottom lip. “I teach every night.”
“You can come when you’re done. I can keep a plate warm for you.”
“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “Tomorrow?” She glanced around again.
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.” I stood and left before she could change her mind. When I helped Rylan into the truck, I realized I was looking forward to seeing her. Part of it was reconciling what I’d heard about her and what I’d observed. But there was a part of me that was drawn to her and it wasn’t just her body or her personality—it was the sadness that always seemed to lurk around her.
My mind was on what I could make for dinner tomorrow night. I wanted to impress her, and hot dogs and mac and cheese wouldn’t cut it. I could ask for Mom’s lasagna recipe but that looked complicated. What could be more relaxing than eating comfort food at my home? If I could pull it off, maybe it would impress her. I’d need to pick up some garlic bread, salad, dessert, and wine.
At home, I quickly got Rylan dinner and tucked her into bed when Luke texted he was here.
I opened the door. He walked inside and slapped my shoulder. “Sorry about the other day.”
I cringed, thinking about how I’d walked out on him. He was a friend, but he was also my boss. “Don’t worry about it. We both feel strongly about it.”
He stepped inside. “Is Rylan asleep?”
“Just put her down. I can put wood in the fire pit and we can sit outside.” I didn’t want to disturb Rylan if things got heated.
Luke held up a six-pack of beer. “Sounds good.”
He followed me outside and waited while I got the fire started. He held a beer out to me as I sat down.
“Man, it feels good to relax.”
Luke leaned his elbows on his knees. “The new guy saw Bree’s car outside the Pub and made sure she took an Uber home.”
The coiled tension in my back eased slightly at the news. I couldn’t imagine having to tell Rylan something happened to her mother. “That’s good. Thanks for doing that.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if I had an officer wait for her to come out of the bar, get into her car and drive a few feet before pulling her over?”
“That sounds like entrapment.” It wasn’t the first time Luke suggested this and the idea was sounding better and better every day.
“You said that last time, but I talked with Emma and she said entrapment is when we induce her to commit a crime. We aren’t making her drink. It’s no different than a speed trap.” Luke smirked before tipping his beer back to drink.
“Let me think about it.” The few times I’d mentioned slowing down on the drinking, Bree had scoffed at me and said she didn’t have a problem. I was paranoid.
We sat for a few minutes in silence and watched the fire crackle.
I’d hoped to convince Bree to fix this on her own but maybe it was time for more encouragement. She could dismiss me, but she couldn’t ignore a criminal charge. She’d have to deal with the fallout.
He winced. “How has volunteering at the dance studio been?”
“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m just helping Sadie plan the dance-a-thon and the paren
ts’ night out.”
“You’re babysitting kids for a parents’ night out?” Luke gazed at the fire.
“That’s my understanding.” I’d barely thought about how two adults were going to wrangle forty-plus kids.
“You don’t even know how bad it will be. I’d reserve judgment on how this is all going to go.”
I chuckled. Rylan’s energy was overwhelming at times and I couldn’t imagine how it would be with forty kids. “True. Right now, we’re focused on the dance-a-thon. We could host more people if we held it at the fire hall and we’d raise more money if we pulled in the fire and police departments. We’d be able to raise money for the studio and another organization that benefits the community at the same time.”
“Tell me about this charity you want to partner with.” Luke balanced the beer bottle on his thigh.
I took a long swig of beer. I needed it for this conversation. “I suggested MADD or Al-Anon but Sadie thinks a local organization would be better. You have any ideas?”
Luke thought for a moment. “Kent County’s Drug and Alcohol Council is planning a new initiative to create awareness, education, and treatment intervention opportunities for those dealing with substance abuse issues. It’s called Teenager’s Bedroom on Wheels or something like that—staff will use the van to show parents what to look for and give them resources. It’s in the planning stages but this would be a great platform to raise money and awareness for it.”
“That’s perfect. I’ll talk to Sadie about it.”
At the mention of Sadie’s name, Luke winced. “The problem is that Annabelle Bray’s mother, Robin, is a member of the council.”
That could be a problem. “Okay.”
“And I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I don’t know if the entire department will be on board.”
“I don’t know why they wouldn’t be on board. It would be a good time for the kids and it’s an excellent opportunity for the kids to form relationships with officers and firefighters. Rylan’s already excited about it.”