by Lea Coll
When I went home, I worried Mom would be angry about me leaving or she’d try to manipulate me into staying. She must have been drinking a lot because she was snoring on the couch. I wanted to detach myself from her, and I would—I’d be living by myself soon.
When I was lying in bed that night, my phone buzzed, a tingle shooting through my body, leaving excitement in its wake. And lately, it was something more. I’d started skating my hand down the flat plane of my stomach and played with the band of my panties, entertaining the idea of touching myself with his voice in my ear.
Tanner: How’s your mom?
Sadie: I told her my plan this morning to move out.
Tanner: Really? Good for you.
Sadie: I listened to what you said about detaching with love. It was tough but I’m going to stick with it. What I’ve been doing isn’t working.
For me or for my mom.
My phone buzzed with an incoming video call and I froze. A phone call was one thing but a video call? Was I ready for that with him? I was laying bed in a tank and pajama pants. I pulled my blanket higher up my body and smoothed my hair before I pressed accept.
Tanner’s handsome face filled the screen. “Hey, you.”
I smiled. “Hey.”
“Wanted to see for myself that you’re okay. Standing up to your mom had to be tough.”
“She tried to argue and manipulate me, but I stayed strong. I think she’s hoping I’m not serious. I’ve never really stuck up for myself with her.”
“You have to stick with it.”
His soft words of encouragement warmed me. “That’s the plan.”
He looked away from the phone like he was debating saying something more.
“What is it?” Was he going to say something I didn’t want to hear?
“Here I am, telling you to take charge of your life but I haven’t done anything about Bree.”
“It’s different because you share a child. You can’t make a clean break like I can.” Mom could still show up at my work, my apartment, call or text me. She’d never done that before, but then I’d never walked away from her before. I wasn’t free and clear yet. Each time she showed up I’d need to reevaluate whether I was making the right decision. I resolved not to help her until she said she was ready for rehab.
“True, but it’s the same principle. Bree brings this chaos to our life and I need to do what’s best for Rylan. For the longest time, I thought just having a mother in her life would be best, but now I’m not sure.”
Thinking of the stench when I opened the door to the home I shared with my mom, the empty beer bottles on the floor, the drawn shades … I didn’t want Rylan exposed to that. “Is she in your life, though? What does she bring to it? Does she bring light and love to Rylan or just disappointment?”
He looked at me with a concerned gaze—he knew I had dealt with something similar. “She’s disappointed a lot—Bree not showing up or canceling. Rylan gets her hopes up and then she’s crushed. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be better if Bree weren’t involved at all.”
Should I give him advice like he had done for me? I didn’t think he’d bring this up to me if he didn’t want me to be honest. “Maybe mention this to Bree and see if it’s the push she needs? You know, tell her you’re concerned about her missing visitation and explain how it affects Rylan?”
He brushed his hand over his face. “I hate confronting her because she always says I’m trying to police or control her.”
“Have you done that in the past?”
“Probably. I worry about Rylan when she’s with Bree.”
“We’re just friends, but I don’t feel like you’ve done that with me.”
His eyes sparked at the word friends and his lips tilted up in a smirk. “So, you admit we’re friends?”
I smiled at his playful tone. “Don’t get all cocky. I was trying to make a point and I’ve never denied we’re friends.”
He smiled wider. “I’m finally making headway with you, Sadie. I like it.”
He was slowly easing himself into my life—making it brighter and giving me hope.
Tanner
Driving to the parents’ night out, I was excited to see Sadie. I hadn’t been alone with her since I fixed the handle of her car—several weeks ago, and it wasn’t enough. I was itching for more time with her. I didn’t think I’d spent this much time talking to a girl on the phone since high school. It was slow and sweet even though she’d probably deny anything was happening.
I opened the door to the dance studio to Sadie’s warm welcoming teasing smile.
“Are you ready for this?”
I wanted to pull her in for a hug and bury my head in her neck to breathe in the smell of her skin—her hair. “I think so.”
She stepped around the counter, wearing her usual black leggings, a loose gray T-shirt, which fell off one shoulder, and bare feet, with her toes painted pink. “You want to be in charge of the movie room?”
“Yeah, that should be easy right? Keep them in popcorn and staring at a big screen.” I fought to keep my voice even because everything about her tonight was warm, soft, and inviting. I wanted to sit on the couch and tug her into my lap to slide my hands under her loose shirt and feel the warmth of her bare skin.
“Come on. Let’s tell Kristen you’re here and see if she needs any help.”
I followed her to the studio, where Kristen fiddled with the projector. Several bean bag chairs and mats were scattered around for the kids to sit on.
Kristen glanced up. “Hey, Tanner. I’m so glad you’re here. Sadie, can you turn off the light so I can see if this is working?”
The picture projected onto the wall once Sadie turned off the lights.
“Tanner, can you get the popcorn machine working? I haven’t used it since the fair this summer and I can’t get it running.”
“Sure.” I moved toward the machine, relieved to have a task I could handle—I was good at fixing things.
I played with the settings, poured in the kernels, and waited for it to pop.
“You think you’ll be okay?” Sadie leaned on the machine and looking around, I realized Kristen was gone.
The sound of popcorn popping filled the room and I wanted to pull her closer, to feel her curves against my body, run my hands through the black hair that fell over her shoulders in waves. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
No, I wasn’t, because as long as she was standing close to me looking like that, I would not be fine until I touched her. No longer able to resist, I reached for her hip and pulled her into me.
“Tanner.” Her lips parted and she looked up at me, her eyes wide with uncertainty.
“Tell me to stop.” The kids would arrive soon. We were blocked somewhat by the popcorn machine, but I had to have a taste.
“I don’t want to.”
The blood was pounding in my ears and my hands itched to explore her skin. She went up on tiptoes and I met her halfway, sighing as her soft lips touched mine. My hands gripped her hips tightly and I groaned at the thought of slipping a hand up her shirt over her stomach, up to the underside of her breast, where I’d tease her before brushing a thumb over her nipple.
“Tanner—” she ripped her lips from mine. “What are we doing?”
“A long time coming is what that was.” It wasn’t the best time or place, but I didn’t regret it. I wanted more.
“Sadie, kids are starting to arrive,” Kristen called to us, but her voice sounded far away. The disappointment at being interrupted was acute, but I planned to invite her over later. My parents had asked if they could keep Rylan overnight after the show.
I took a step back and glanced at the doorway, but it was empty.
“She must be in the lobby.” Sadie stood unmoving, looking at me with eyes full of wonder and uncertainty.
“Go, we’ll talk later.” I needed to think about something else—anything else, because, in a few minutes, kids would be in the room.
>
She took one last look at me, her fingers went to her lips, her eyes dark with desire, before she turned and was gone.
I adjusted myself in my jeans. I was attracted to Sadie the first moment I saw her, but that kiss was the most explosive I’d ever experienced. It was going to be a long night with these kids when all I wanted was to be alone with Sadie.
When the first group of kids filed in, I pressed play on the latest Toy Story movie. That quieted them and I filled small plastic bowls with popcorn and handed them out with juice boxes.
Kristen stood watching by the door after I’d served everyone. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” I took a cursory look at the room and everyone seemed happy for the moment.
“Let me know if you need help.” She pushed off the doorway as if to leave and then she said, “Is something going on with Sadie?”
She was Sadie’s boss and her friend. I hoped Sadie wouldn’t be upset I’d confided in Kristen when she seemed protective of her. “I hope so.”
Kristen smiled. “Good. I like you.”
“Mr. Tanner?” I turned and looked down at a little boy who held his empty bowl out to me. “More popcorn, please.”
“Sure.” Then it was a flurry of re-filling popcorn and drinks—escorting the younger ones to the bathroom. When we switched groups at the end of the movie—I did it all over again.
Toward the end of the second viewing of the movie, I saw Sadie come in, eyes scanning the room for me. Once she saw me, she sank to the floor next to me. “How’s it going?”
“Not bad.” I glanced at the clock and it was almost nine. “Some look ready to nod off.”
“Yeah, parents are starting to pick up. You can start cleaning up once everyone is gone.”
She moved to leave but I stopped her with a hand to the elbow. “What are you doing after this?”
“Not sure.” Her face was pensive. She was probably thinking about what awaited her at home with her mother.
“Any interest in coming to my house for a movie?”
She raised her brow and her eyes brightened. “What about Rylan?”
“She’s at my parents’ house for the night.”
I could see her take that in—the implication that we’d be alone—before she nodded slowly. “Okay, but I’ll meet you there.”
As much as I wanted something to happen tonight, I didn’t expect it. I wanted to spend time with her alone—get to know her better without any interference, and after that kiss, I wouldn’t be averse to taking things further. As I helped each child into their jacket and handed them off to their parents, I felt younger than I had in a long time.
Sadie
My skin vibrated with anticipation after that kiss we shared. It was spontaneous and hot, and I could feel Tanner’s hard chest beneath my fingertips. I’d never been with anyone with a body like that. I wanted to experience it—I wanted to experience him.
It wasn’t my imagination that when he said Rylan was at her grandparents his eyes darkened. It was clear from his kiss that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I wanted an escape from worrying about my mother. I could pretend Tanner and I were real—that we had a shot at a relationship.
“Everything looks good and we had a bigger turnout than last year. One of the moms told me Tanner mentioned the event to her husband and some of the guys down at the station. I think that boosted the numbers.”
I smiled, not surprised he’d done what he could to help.
Tanner stepped out of the studio—a shiver shot down my spot when our eyes met. “It’s all clean in there. Unless you need anything else, I’m going to head out.”
“That’s great. Thanks for helping,” Kristen said.
I nodded. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
He smiled as if he understood I wanted tonight to be just for us, then stepped out the door.
“He seems like a good guy,” Kristen said. “He told me he hoped something would happen with you.”
She winked before she pulled on her sweatshirt. “I’m done for the night. I’m going home to my boyfriend. Don’t forget I’m taking your classes tomorrow so you can move.”
“I didn’t.” Tonight was my last night at my mom’s house but I was spending it with Tanner and nothing had ever felt more right.
Tanner
I started a fire in the fireplace and picked up Rylan’s toys while I waited for Sadie to arrive. As soon as her lips had touched mine earlier, everything fell into place. I wanted her with an intensity I couldn’t curb. The soft knock came at the door after I’d put the last toy away. I took one last sweep of the room to make sure everything was clean before I opened it to find Sadie standing there in a sweatshirt over her dance clothes.
“Hey,” she said shyly.
She’d pulled her hair out of her ponytail, so it hung in waves around her face. Everything about her—her appearance, her shyness, her hesitation, was soft and sweet. I held out my hand for her, pulled her inside, and closed the door.
“Hey.” Then my mouth was on hers, my hands in her hair, as I backed her up to the wall. No one could walk in. It was just us. Her breathy moans spurred me on as I pressed my body against hers, feeling every soft curve. I didn’t want to stop kissing her, but I didn’t want to rush anything tonight. I slowly pulled back, keeping my body flush with hers.
“That was a nice greeting.” Her voice was husky, her eyes bright with desire.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”
“You don’t sound very sorry.” She smiled softly. “But I’m not complaining.”
I stepped back from her, immediately feeling the loss of warmth. “We don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to think I expected anything.” Even though I very much wanted her naked and underneath me.
She slowly shook her head. “No, I just want you.”
The desire I’d tried to curb when I’d stopped our kiss—flared to life again. All thoughts of taking things slow disappeared as I lifted her and carried her carefully up the stairs while she continued to kiss me. I lowered her gently onto the bed, covering her with my body before pulling back to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind.
She tugged my shirt up and I helped her pull it over my head. Her eyes were drawn to my chest, her hands exploring my chest, my biceps. “Your biceps are unreal.”
I worked out and gained muscle mass easily, so I was used to compliments, but Sadie’s admiration struck something deep inside. I sat back on my heels as she rose to her knees, placing kisses on my chest, my abs, while her hands rested on my biceps. “Lie down.”
Her order after her shyness on my porch made my cock throb in my pants. She pulled her sweatshirt off and flung it to the floor before straddling me. She still wore too many clothes. She leaned down to kiss me, my hands traveling under her shirt until I rubbed her nipples through her bra. With a sharp intake of breath, Sadie’s kisses became unfocused and clumsy—my cock twitched in response.
I focused on rubbing her nipples into tight peaks. Her breath was coming in rapid pants as she ground down on my cock. I couldn’t believe she was here—that we were doing this. When she moaned and threw her head back, I pulled her shirt off and she unzipped her sports bra, releasing her breasts.
She lowered her shoulders, allowing her bra to fall away.
I cupped her breasts, rubbed my thumbs over her nipples, and watched as her nipples hardened.
“That feels so good.” Her voice was husky and her eyelids heavy with desire.
She unbuckled my jeans and I lifted my hips so she could pull them down and off with my briefs. Her dark hair fell around her, tickling my abs as she wrapped her hands around my cock. “You’re beautiful,” she said.
I ran my hands through her hair, and I wanted to say she was beautiful, but I couldn’t formulate any words. She’d tightened her grip around me and slowly pumped me, once, twice. “Jesus.”
I quickly flipped her so she was underneath me and she widened her legs to give me room. Something abou
t being with this girl, even if it was our first time together, felt natural. Nothing felt awkward or uncomfortable. It was like she was meant for me. My chest filled with emotion that threatened to spill out.
Her stomach was toned and tight, the globes of her breasts were perfectly rounded, her nipples hard. I slowly pulled her leggings and panties down her legs until she was naked.
She watched me through hooded eyes, dark with lust.
I hovered over her and captured her mouth. I could worship her body all night. She was perfect. “You are beautiful.”
She arched into me, seeking contact as I continued to kiss her, drawing the anticipation out. I wanted her wild for me. “Tanner. I want to feel your skin on mine.”
Groaning, I slowly lowered myself until my cock nudged at her entrance. I slowly glided my cock between her lips but not inside, intensifying our need for each other.
“Oh my God. You feel so good.” She looked up at me in wonder, her fingers gliding over my skin.
Everything was heightened—her touch, the slick heat of her pussy on my cock, the peaks of her nipples rubbing against my chest. I could easily slide right in, and I desperately wanted to despite the fact I’d already had a baby with someone. I couldn’t do that with Sadie, but God, I wanted to. I wanted nothing between us—no secrets, no fears, nothing. I’d never wanted another person so much.
I grabbed a condom from my nightstand, ripped it open, and slowly smoothed it down my cock.
I sought her mouth again and I slowly nudged my cock inside her—her slick heat surrounded me and my chest throbbed with the overwhelming feeling of being with her. I’d never had this emotional connection with anyone.
She whimpered as she flexed her hips, arching into me as I slid slowly into her inch by inch until I was inside her to the hilt, and I thought my head would explode. I grabbed her ass as I slid out and then slowly thrust inside.
“Oh my God, Tanner.” Her legs wrapped around me.
The feel of her pussy around my cock and her legs around my waist was indescribable. This girl was going to be the end of me—she was so sweet, so passionate, so hot for me.