by Lea Coll
I picked up the pace, finding the right angle, and with a quick flex of my hips, thrust into her over and over as she whimpered and ran her fingers over my biceps, my shoulders. I wanted her to cry out my name when she came around my cock—proving she was into this as much as I was.
“I’m so close—”
Her eyes were squeezed shut.
“Open your eyes.” She slowly opened them, her eyes wild with desire, desperate.
Something settled in my heart in that moment—I wanted her to be mine. “Let go, Sadie.”
She spasmed around me, calling out my name. The sound of my name on her lips—her pussy clenching my cock—I lost control with short uneven thrusts until my release crashed into me and I collapsed on top of her.
“That was—” I couldn’t even put it into words. It was intense, overwhelming. The best thing I’d ever felt, and it wasn’t just because it had been a while since I was with anyone. It was Sadie. She was special. Everything about her drew me in—and this was no different.
She smiled at me, her body limp and satiated on the bed as her hand played with the hair at the nape of my neck. I kissed her. “Let me take care of the condom.”
I stood to walk toward the bathroom, feeling her eyes on me as I walked. I wanted her eyes on me. I wanted her hands on me. I wanted her.
I climbed back in bed and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down to kiss me. “Thank you.”
She didn’t have to say why—I knew what she meant. We had a connection before but now—it was like there was a live wire pulsing between us. I couldn’t get enough of her.
We kissed until my cock hardened against her thigh. “Again?”
“Yes.” And again, I wanted to slide into her bare in the worst way. It seemed wrong to have anything between us, but we weren’t ready for that. We hadn’t talked birth control or testing. I barely knew her, yet I felt closer to her than I had with anyone.
Sadie
I hadn’t intended to declare my desire for Tanner as soon as I walked into his house—but something had broken down between us—the walls, the barriers, the million reasons why I shouldn’t pursue something I wanted. I wanted to feel his cock bare inside me. I didn’t want to disrupt the moment, but I had to be smart. “Condom?”
“Of course.” Tanner grabbed another condom from the bed next to us, sliding it down his cock, before positioning himself above me.
I couldn’t believe this man was interested in me. That he wanted me. He was so good—a great father. He’d be a good boyfriend—sweet, attentive, caring, and protective.
He braced one hand on the bed next to my head as he looked into my eyes, silently asking permission. I nodded as he fisted his cock before slowly entering me. It felt just as good as the first time. I felt so filled up with him. He kept his blue eyes on mine as he lowered himself, and before he kissed me, I saw the raw emotion in his eyes—the beginning of something wonderful. I lifted my hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. It was slower than last time—fluid and sweet.
As the orgasm built inside me again, he moved his lips from mine, placing kisses on my neck, groaning into my ear. “You feel incredible,” he whispered so softly I almost didn’t hear as my orgasm washed over me in waves of slow exquisite pleasure. It felt a lot like making love, and I closed my eyes tightly against the idea.
I didn’t mind indulging in men every now and then, but I’d gotten to know Tanner. And what he was doing right now was tugging at my heart—pulling emotion out of me I’d never felt before.
He lowered to his forearms, cradling my head with his hands, his weight lowered deliciously on top of me, and his pelvis grinding on my clit with each glide. His movements were slow but intimate. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”
I wanted to say me too, but I choked down the words. If he knew the real me—he wouldn’t feel the same.
Instead, I closed my eyes, focusing on his fingers in my hair, his breath on my skin, his lips trailing a path down the sensitive spots of my neck and my shoulder, and when he thrust in one last time, as deep as he’d ever been, I held that feeling inside, letting it settle in. I wanted to remember it when I was alone.
In that moment, I knew I’d never let Tanner truly go—he’d always be a part of me even if we couldn’t be together—not forever. Our thing was most likely temporary—whether it was one night, a few weeks, or months. No matter what I wanted—I had to remember that everyone left or betrayed me—my grandparents, Dennis, friends in college. My mom may have been physically present in my life, but she’d never been emotionally available. When Tanner found out my darkest secrets and how I failed Annabelle—whatever this was would be done.
He kissed my eyelids, my mouth, and then my nose. “I want to say you’re incredible, but that sounds cheesy.”
I smiled despite myself because I could see the admiration in his eyes and feel it in the reverent way he touched me. “You can say it.”
“You’re incredible, Sadie.” With one last kiss, he shot me a cocky smirk before sauntering to the bathroom to get rid of the condom.
I sighed. I thought I could be with him, get him out of my system, and get back to what I did best—keeping people at a distance. But when I was with him, I revealed things about my life—things I never told anyone. My body revealed the rest of my secrets—that I wanted his touch, his lips, his hands on me.
“What are you thinking about so hard over here?” he asked, as he slid under the covers pulling me into his body.
I rested my head on his shoulder and threw my leg over his. My fingers ran over his impressive pecs. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’re thinking the best decision you ever made was coming over tonight.”
I tilted my head back on his arm so I could see his face, which held a teasing smile. I raised my brow. “You think you’re that good?”
All cockiness drained from his voice as he said, “No, I think we’re that good together.”
I smiled—a warm glow pulsed through my veins. “I think you might be right. I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
He kissed my forehead. “Good.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say I like you, but I restrained myself. As easy as it was to tell him things, to give him myself, I needed to hold something back. I wasn’t ready to let myself go completely and I suspected he wasn’t either.
I settled closer to his body, closed my eyes, and drifted quickly off into sleep.
Sadie
I woke up the next morning to light kisses on my shoulder and my back, and when I arched toward the sensation, Tanner’s voice rumbled, “Good morning.”
“Morning.” I stretched and turned in his arms so that we were facing each other.
“I don’t want to leave this bed, but I have to pick up Rylan.”
Reality was back like the bright light shining through the window. We both had responsibilities—we couldn’t lay in bed all day enjoying the glow from the night before. He had Rylan, and I had—
“Aren’t you moving today?” Tanner asked, his forehead wrinkled.
“I am.” My stomach twisted at the idea of confronting my mother. She’d probably use every manipulative tool in her arsenal to beg me to stay.
He smoothed my hair out of my face. “Need some help?”
I didn’t want him to see the house I shared with my mother. It was too embarrassing. Even if he had some experience with Bree overindulging, it was nothing compared to the way my mom lived in filth.
I hadn’t intended to take any of the furniture because I couldn’t haul it and I didn’t want to make my mother angrier than she already was. Although, if I left behind furniture, she might delude herself into thinking I’d come back. “I don’t have much. I was just going to move some clothes and books.”
“Is anyone helping you?”
“Kristen offered her boyfriend’s help, but I don’t know him. I didn’t feel right about it.”
“I can help.
We can take my truck and get more stuff. Don’t you need to move furniture?”
It would be nice to take my bed. I wouldn’t need to buy new and I’d save some money.
“Depending on how much stuff you have, I can get Luke and Logan to help.”
I stiffened at the mention of Luke and Logan—they knew what I’d done to Ashley.
“Logan likes you.”
“Are you sure? I got fired from my last job. I did some stuff I’m not proud of.” Had Logan talked to him about what happened?
He raised his brow and his body stilled as he waited for an explanation. “I’d love to hear your side of things.”
If I was ever going to have something with Tanner, I needed to be completely honest, but was I ready to bare myself to him, open myself up to judgment? It hadn’t worked out for me in the past, but Tanner was different, wasn’t he? Other than Ashley, he was the only person who’d asked me why I’d done it. “I was competing with Ashley and Logan for a promotion. At the time, I was desperate for money to pay a credit card balance my mom had taken out in my name without my knowledge. I reported it to the bank, but I found out so late and—”
“You never filed a police report.”
“No, I couldn’t report my mother.”
His lips were in a tight line, but he didn’t argue with me.
“I needed that promotion—I thought I needed it.” I shook my head at my stupidity. The guilt from that decision never went away. “I took work from the secretary’s desk and filed it before it was finished. I wanted an advantage over Ashley and Logan, who both had more experience than I did. I only did it a couple of times and I felt horrible. That wasn’t me. My mom brought that out in me—I was desperate to fix this problem she made for me. My credit was ruined, and in response, I damaged my professional reputation.”
“Did you apologize to Ashley?” His voice was careful, as if he wanted to know all of the facts before he came to a conclusion.
“I did. I told her I needed money for my mother, but that’s an excuse. I still shouldn’t have done it.”
His eyes were thoughtful. “Logan said Ashley was sympathetic to your situation. I don’t think she blames you.”
I sighed, wanting more than anything for that to be true. “I hope not, but it doesn’t matter because I hold myself responsible.”
“You were fired. You were punished. I think you should give yourself a break.”
Was it that easy? Could I just admit my faults, take responsibility, and then people who love me, who are there for me, will forgive me? I’d thought I needed to atone for my sins first—once I paid off the debt, I could forgive myself. Once I helped my mother get into rehab, I’d forgive myself. But those were her mistakes, not mine. Like Tanner said, I had paid for it. Maybe it was time to let it go.
“I worked two jobs to pay off that debt. The house isn’t in my name, so that debt is hers alone.”
“Once you move out, you’re free of your mom.”
“Yeah, I keep thinking this move represents freedom from her, her debt, and her addiction.”
He kissed me once more on my forehead. “I’m proud of you.”
I closed my eyes and reveled in the feel of his lips on my forehead and his arms tightening around me. “Don’t you have to pick up Rylan? You can help me move but I don’t think Rylan should be there.”
Rylan didn’t need to see the house or how I lived. She didn’t need to hear my mother’s angry words.
“I agree. Your mother might be upset you’re leaving. I just promised I’d pick up flour this morning so they could make cookies. We can drop off the flour and move you of that house.”
“You want me to go with you to drop off the flour?”
He got out of bed and pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. “Yeah. My parents’ house is on the way to your mom’s.”
It might be convenient, but having me showing up with him was making a statement to his parents and to Rylan—not that she’d understand, but I sure did. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? That Rylan is ready for this?”
His eyes met mine. “Yes. Nothing you said this morning makes me think less of you. You wouldn’t have done something like that had your mother not put you in that situation. You made a mistake, you owned up to it, and you paid the price. It’s time to forgive yourself and move on.”
His words were a balm to my soul, but I wondered if he’d feel the same way about the assault. Would Tanner forgive me for not coming forward and corroborating Annabelle’s story when my inaction led to her suicide?
Tanner
While Sadie got ready in the bathroom, I called Luke and Logan to see if they could help, and told them to wait for me to arrive so I could explain the situation. If there was a potential domestic situation it would be good to have Luke there as a witness, but I wanted him to understand what we were potentially walking into.
Driving over to my parents’ house to pick up Rylan with Sadie felt right. Logically, I knew I should keep our lives separate until I got to know her better. I should wait to introduce Sadie to Rylan as my girlfriend. I’d been waiting a long time to add someone to our family, and Sadie had potential. She carried guilt for the mistakes she’d made and that told me more about her character than her mistakes did.
She was human. She was real. What better role model for Rylan than someone who owned up to their mistakes and took responsibility? It was more than our bodies coming together last night. Sadie fit with me and in my world. There were things she hadn’t told me yet about her life—about that assault, but I knew without a doubt nothing she’d tell me would make me think less of her.
She was raised by a selfish neglectful mother and exposed to whatever boyfriend she brought into the house. Sadie was a survivor and should be proud of herself. I intended to show her that. I wanted her to trust me enough to tell me everything. That’s all I cared about—the moment when she’d let me all the way in. I smiled over at her.
“What?” Sadie asked when she noticed me smiling at her.
“I’m happy.” I reached over and pulled her hand onto my thigh to hold.
“Me too.” She said it quietly as if she was surprised she felt the same.
“There’s a lot more of this feeling for us. I know it.”
She smiled, but it was tentative and her eyes a little fearful. “I hope so.”
“You’re not worried about my parents, are you? You already met them.”
“Yes, but that was as Rylan’s dance teacher not as your overnight guest, one-night stand, whatever I am.”
“We made love last night and it was perfect. You’re with me this morning, riding in my truck to see my daughter. Nothing about last night or this morning should make you think you’re a one-night stand.” My voice was harder than I intended, but I wanted her to believe every word I was saying.
She sighed. “I’m just scared to get my hopes up—things usually don’t work out for me.”
“Give me a chance to show you how things can be different.” I wanted to say she was the perfect fit for me, that I could easily see myself falling for her, that we were meant for each other. I felt it each time we touched or kissed. But it was too soon, and Sadie wouldn’t believe me. Not yet. I had to be patient. A few minutes later, I pulled into my parents’ driveway.
“This is cute.” Sadie pulled her hand from mine and moved to open the door.
“Wait, I’ll get that.” I stepped out and moved quickly around the truck, worried she’d ignore me. I wanted my hands on her. I wanted to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about. Not while I was by her side.
She’d already opened the door and held her hand out for me to assist her, but I ignored it, grabbing her hips and lifting her so that she felt every ridge as I slowly slid her down my body until her feet rested on the ground.
“I want you here. Don’t forget that.” I held her to me, not letting her back away. How could such a confident brave successful woman be afraid of what my parents thought of her? Then I remember
ed how the dance moms talked about her. It made me angry for her all over again.
“Thank you, Tanner.” The depth of emotion in her eyes and the way she leaned into my body, not away, made me think she was thanking me for more than just my statement. At least I hoped so.
“I don’t want you to be grateful. I want you to be happy.” With me. With Rylan. With my parents. My heart opened itself to the possibility that this girl was it for me.
“Okay.” She smiled and I waited until it reached her eyes.
“Good. Now let’s see Rylan.”
I opened the front door to my parents’ house with my key, pushing it open, and then I heard, “Daddy!” as Rylan raced down the hall from the kitchen and into my arms.
“I missed you!” Her arms wrapped around my neck as I lifted her and handed the flour to Sadie.
“I missed you too, Ry.”
Then she was scrambling down and staring up in awe at Sadie. “Miss Sadie, what are you doing here?”
Sadie looked nervous again, shifting on her feet. “Tanner—I mean, your daddy wanted to help me move this morning and we wanted to drop off the flour first.”
“Is that right?” Mom asked, coming down the hall to greet us.
I smiled in greeting, hoping she wouldn’t be upset I’d brought Sadie here without telling her. “Yes, Sadie’s moving today, and she didn’t have a truck to haul her furniture.”
“We can keep Rylan longer if you want to help Sadie. That way we’ll have time to make the cookies,” Mom said.
“That might be a good idea, at least until we get my stuff from my mom’s house.” Sadie handed my mom the flour.
“We’ll get Sadie’s stuff packed up and come back here and pick up Rylan,” I said.
“Daddy, I want to help.” Her voice was whiny. If I didn’t defuse her, it would escalate.
“We’ll make cookies and they’ll be ready to eat before Daddy’s back.” Mom distracted Rylan with talk of what kind of cookies to make and the ingredients they’d need.