Our Way

by Swan, T L

  Oh, man, that was dreadful. What kind of sexy message was that? I get a vision of him listening to it, unimpressed.

  I flop onto the couch and sip my wine.

  Loser.

  I’m so out of practice when it comes to dating, I have no idea what I’m doing here. I really need to up my game. There should be an up-to-date dating manual you can download on the internet with cool things to say and do.

  I hear the key in the door before Nathan comes into view wearing a crisp gray suit and cream shirt, he looks every bit the smooth doctor he is. His sandy hair is longer on top with a bit of a curl, and his big blue eyes smile when he sees me. “There’s my girl.”

  “Hi.” I smile as I jump up to greet him. He leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “You didn’t go to the gym?” I ask as I straighten his tie.

  “No, got held up at work.” He walks over to the oven and peers in through the door. “Not long till we get a home gym. Dinner smells fantastic.” He pours himself a glass of wine. “My favorite.”

  “I thought I was your favorite.” I tease.

  “Apart from you, of course.” He touches his glass against mine. “How was your day?”

  I shrug. “Pretty good.” I want to blurt out that I got asked on a date but I don’t quite know what his reaction will be, so I decide against it. “Dinner is twenty minutes away if you want to take a shower?”

  His ass rests on the kitchen counter, and he smiles as he sips his wine. His eyes linger on me.

  I do a little jog on the spot. “Seventeen days until we go away. I’ve just got to get through two weeks at my new job first.”

  “Can’t come soon enough. I need this vacation.”

  “Me, too.” I pull myself up to sit on the counter beside him. “What are we going to do while we’re there?”

  “Everything.”

  “Like what?” I smile hopefully. “Tell me everything.”

  “Sleep in, eat delicious food, lie in the sun, shop… drink cocktails.”

  I tip my head back in excitement. “I just can’t wait.”

  “Don’t forget we’ve got my parents’ party next weekend,” he reminds me.

  “Oh.” I cringe.

  “What?”

  “I forgot to pick up the cake tin today. I meant to call in on the way home and I completely forgot.”

  “What do you need a cake tin for?”

  “I’m making your dad’s birthday cake on Saturday for his party.”

  “You are not going all the way there to cook all day Saturday. I’ll buy a damn cake.”

  “I am. I offered. My cakes are his favorite, and besides, cooking for people I care about makes me happy.”

  He rolls his eyes as he drains his glass. “I’m taking a shower.” He saunters down the hall.

  My phone dances across the counter.

  It’s Samuel.

  I peer down the hall after Nathan. Shit, hurry up and get in the shower. I don’t want you to hear me. “Hello,” I answer.

  “Eliza, hi. It’s Samuel.”

  I smile goofily. “Hi.” My voice comes out like a high pitch screech, and I push my thumb into my eye socket. I clear my throat, determined to sound better.

  I can see down the hall and into my bedroom and I watch as Nathan loosens his tie.

  I’ll keep an eye on him so I know if he can hear me.

  “You called me. I’m impressed,” he purrs.

  “I said I would.”

  Nathan slides his jacket over his shoulders and begins to unbutton his shirt, I watch on.

  “How was your day?” Samuel asks.

  Nathan takes his shirt off, and I watch as every muscle in his back tenses.

  “It… was good,” I stammer, distracted. My eyes are locked on my best friend. “How was yours?”

  “It was great after seeing you,” Samuel says.

  Nathan drops his pants and carefully hangs them on a hanger. I can see every muscle in his thick thighs. “Same.” I frown.

  Jeez.

  “Where do you want to go on our first date?”

  Nathan drops his black boxer briefs and then turns. I get a full frontal view. He’s hung and rippled with muscles. His pubic hair is short and well-kept. Fucking hell, my stomach clenches. He walks back up the hall to the bathroom. When he glances up, our eyes lock.

  The air leaves my lungs, but he doesn’t flinch. It’s as if he wants me to look.

  He wants me to see why he thinks my vibrator is pathetic…

  Holy mother of God. What kind of a dick is that?

  6

  Eliza

  “Are you there, Eliza?” Samuel interrupts my little peep show.

  I frown, flustered, and I spin toward the kitchen. “Yes, sorry. I’m easy.” I splutter. Oh God, don’t say that. “I’m not… easy, easy. I mean I’m easily pleased.”

  Oh fuck, shut up. You’re wrecking it.

  I put my hand over my eyes.

  “I know what you mean.” He laughs. “How about this weekend?”

  Um, I don’t want a night time thing. It’s a bit too… date-ish.

  Isn’t that the point, you idiot? Oh hell, this is a disaster.

  “I can’t this weekend, I’m fully booked. I could do lunch, though.” I hear Nathan’s shower turn on, and I relax a little, knowing that he can’t hear me.

  “Do you want to have lunch on Thursday?”

  “I’m working.”

  “So am I. We can grab a quick bite in the cafeteria. I mean, I know it’s not much of a first date but at least I get to see you.”

  I smile, he seems eager. “That sounds great.”

  “I’ll call you Thursday morning to arrange a time.”

  “Okay.” I run my finger along the kitchen counter. It feels good to talk to someone.

  “You’ve made my night by calling.”

  I smile bashfully. “Mine, too.” I glance up to see Nathan standing in front of me with a towel around his waist. He raises his eyebrow in question.

  “Who’s that?” Nathan mouths.

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you later then. Goodbye.” I hang up in a rush. “What are you doing?” I snap.

  “Asking you where my shampoo is.” He frowns. “What are you doing?”

  I turn my back to him and fill my wine, but I’m so flustered it sloshes over the sides of the glass. “Your shampoo is in my gym bag. I ran out… and I was arranging lunch.”

  “With who?”

  I drain my glass as I think of a lie. “Becca.”

  “Becca who?”

  “Becca Bib… Biblicists,” I blurt out.

  His brow furrows. “Who’s Becca Biblicist?”

  “A girl from work.”

  He nods and then saunters back up the hall. He finds his shampoo and closes the bathroom door behind him.

  I put my hands over my eyes. Becca Biblicist. That’s the best fake name I can come up with, seriously? What the fuck is wrong with me?

  And why did I lie?

  I should have just told him the truth. Ugh, what is wrong with me?

  10:00 p.m.

  I lie on the couch with my glass of wine in my hand as I go over my options, what I need to do is to just go in the room and tell him I have a date.

  It’s no big deal. …. why am I making this a big deal? Nathan won’t care who I date.

  Maybe it’s me that cares—maybe I’m the one with the issue here.

  I tip my head back and drain my glass, knowing this is the exact reason why I need to date other people.

  I am too dependent on Nathan.

  The girls are right, this isn’t normal behaviour, why haven’t I seen it before now?

  Two years with a man in my bed who I’m not having sex with is just plain weird.

  I rinse my glass up and brush my teeth, and then I give myself a pep talk in the mirror. I’m just going to go in there and tell him.

  Straight and simple; no fucking around.

  I walk into the bedroom to see Nathan reading in bed. His hair is
messy like he’s just been fucked. His arm is above his head, exposing his sculptured biceps. My eyes drop down lower, and I can count the ripples on his stomach. My own stomach flips. He looks like a Greek God or something. Damn it, does he have to be so fucking sexy?

  “Will you wear some clothes around here?” I huff as I turn my side of the blankets back.

  “What?” He frowns, but his eyes don’t leave the page.

  “You’re half naked all the time.” I get into bed, annoyed. It’s like he’s purposely baiting me. I mean, I am only human; any red-blooded woman would be salivating if she was constantly exposed to this torture. I get a vision of him naked from earlier and his beautiful body.

  For fuck’s sake.

  I roll over so that my back is to him with a huff.

  “What’s up your ass?” he mutters.

  “Nothing.”

  “My nudity is annoying you?”

  “Yes.” I splutter. “It is, actually.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, how would you like it if I waved my body around in front of you all the time?”

  “You do.”

  “I do not.”

  “You’re wearing panties and a camisole right now. I see your body wherever I look, so don’t play Mother Theresa here, Eliza. ”

  I roll my eyes, I’m still lying with my back to him.

  “And besides, we’ve been like this for years. Why is it suddenly bothering you now?” He adds.

  “I’m just horny, okay?” I spit before I can put my mouth to brain filter on.

  Oh… hell.

  “You’re horny?”

  I scrunch my eyes shut. Did I just say that out loud? “Good night, Nathan.”

  He rolls me onto my back, and his eyes dance with mischief as he leans over me. “You’re horny?”

  “No.” I try to backtrack. “What I mean is, I’m a single woman, and you shouldn’t be naked in front of me all the time.”

  He gives me a slow, sexy smile. “Why not?”

  “Just…” I press my lips together as I try to think of an appropriate thing to say that doesn’t make me sound like a pervert. “I’m just saying.”

  He gets up and goes to my underwear drawer. He grabs my vibrator and tosses it to me. “Go for it.”

  “What?” I frown.

  “Do your best.”

  I stare at him.

  “Don’t let me get in the way.” He raises an eyebrow. “Fuck yourself. Pretend I’m not here.” He picks his book back up and turns the page he was at. “I won’t watch… much.”

  “You’re disgusting.” I throw the vibrator off the bed and roll over in a huff. I pretend what he just said isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.

  “You did say you want to start being more open about our sex life,” he says. “I’m just saying.” I can tell by the tone in his voice that he’s amused. I hear the page turn, and I know he’s gone back to reading.

  My mind goes somewhere it shouldn’t. I imagine masturbating in front of him. Would he touch himself while he watches?

  Would we come together?

  My sex clenches as I imagine how hot that would be.

  Fuck, where did that come from?

  Stop it.

  He grabs my hipbone and pulls me back sharply to sit snugly against him. The heat of his touch begins to travel through my system. Like chocolate near a flame, melting as it gets hotter.

  Fuck this. I need sex.

  Two years is too long, and I need it hard. Really hard. Deep, hard fucking. The kind you are sore from.

  I imagine hearing the slapping sound of people hard at it and, once again, my body tingles. I’m not normally this type of girl but I hope this date works out because god damn it, I need to get laid as soon as possible.

  “Goodnight, Eliza.”

  “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, Tiny.” He pats me twice.

  “Goodnight,” I squeak in a mouse voice.

  He chuckles, and I smile against my pillow.

  Any night with Nathan is a good night. Horny or not. As soon as I take care of this little libido problem I’m experiencing, everything will go back to feeling normal.

  I close my eyes as I try to force myself to fall asleep.

  But I can’t, because images of Nathan naked are running through my mind…and there’s a lot to look at…trust me on this one. Perhaps I’m traumatised from seeing his dick in the hallway tonight, I smile into my pillow as I remember it. What a visual sensation…. he could totally do porn.

  I exhale heavily, it’s going to be a long night.

  * * *

  It’s Thursday, and I’m walking into the hospital cafeteria to meet Samuel. I feel awkward and weird. Hell, now I remember why I gave up dating.

  Samuel stands and gives me a little wave.

  “Hi.” I make my way over to the table and he bends and kisses my cheek.

  “Fancy seeing you here.”

  I smile nervously and fall into the seat. “Yes, fancy that.”

  “What do you want to eat? I’ll grab it.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,”

  “No, I insist.”

  “Thanks. I’ll have a toasted ham and cheese sandwich with a mineral water, please.”

  “Okay, back in a minute.” He disappears to the counter to order. I watch him for a moment. He really is very good-looking.

  I take out my phone and text the girls.

  I remember why I don’t date.

  This shit is nerve wracking.

  They won’t get my message until they finish work, but whatever. I feel better by sending it.

  I stuff my phone back into my bag, knowing I need to get a handle on these nerves.

  Samuel comes back and sits at the table. “It will be a few minutes.”

  “What did you get?” I ask to make conversation.

  “Toasted focaccia and coffee.” He smiles over at me. “So, where did you say you’re going to this weekend?”

  “Oh.” I frown. “Birthday celebrations.”

  “Nice.” He raises his eyebrow. “Do you need a chaperone?”

  “I’m good.” I pause as I think of an excuse as to why I couldn’t invite him, how about….my best friend is a guard dog who will happily rip your head off. “It’s a girls’ thing.” I shrug. “Tickets were bought a long time ago.”

  “Ah.” He takes my hand over the table. “But seriously, when can I see you again?”

  I swallow the lump in my throat as I look at the gorgeous man in front of me. I really should be thrilled that he’s so keen. He’s called me every night this week. “How about dinner one night sometime next week?” I offer.

  “Deal.” He smirks.

  A deep voice interrupts us. “Hello.” I look up to see Nathan standing over the table. His eyes glance down to our entwined hands.

  Oh, fuck.

  “Nathan.” I drop Samuel’s hand like a hot potato.

  “Please, don’t let me interrupt,” he says dryly. His eyes flick to Samuel. “I didn’t realize you two knew each other.”

  “Yeah.” Samuel’s eyes come back to me. “We’ve just connected… until you interrupted us on Saturday night.” He raises an eyebrow.

  My eyes widen in horror…what the hell is that supposed to mean?

  There was no connecting…. you dweeb, we didn’t even kiss.

  Nathan’s eyes come back to me. “I see.”

  My heart drops.

  “I’ll leave you to it then,” Nathan says.

  “Join us.” I pull out the chair as an invitation.

  “No. Thank you.” His eyes meet mine. “I hope Tiny enjoys her next meal. Send her my love.”

  I cannot believe he just said that.

  “Who’s Tiny?” Samuel smiles as he looks between us.

  “Eliza has a friend that was a vegetarian.” Nathan smiles sweetly. “Recently converted to a carnivore and is apparently starving.”

  I glare at him.

  His eyes flick to Samuel. “Although, I
thought she would have preferred a higher quality meat, to be honest.”

  Samuel’s eyes flick between us, confused. “Why, where is she eating?”

  “At an all-you-can-eat restaurant,” Nathan replies without skipping a beat. “The diseases at those places are next level.”

  I sit back in my chair, affronted.

  Asshole.

  “Goodbye, Nathan.” I fake a smile.

  “Goodbye.” He saunters over to the counter and orders his coffee like he’s a fucking rock star.

  My blood boils.

  Samuel’s eyes come to me. “How do you know Nathan Mercer?”

  “We’re friends. There’s a group of us that all hang out together on the weekends.”

  “I see.” He smiles. “And this Tiny girl—the meat eater—is in your group, too?”

  “Yeah.” My furious eyes flick over to Nathan at the counter. “I’ll introduce you to her really soon.”

  * * *

  It’s Friday night and we are on our way to Brooke’s birthday dinner, we are walking down the street toward the restaurant. Nathan has been giving me the silent treatment since he saw me at lunch with Samuel yesterday. He read in bed last night, while I watched television, and he was conveniently asleep when I went to bed. Tonight, he picked me up and hasn’t said a word.

  “Are you going to talk to me?” I ask.

  “I am talking to you.” He keeps his gaze straight ahead.

  “No, you’re not. It was just lunch, Nathan.” I sigh. “Stop being a baby. I told you I was ready to date and so I met someone in the cafeteria. I don’t understand what your problem is.”

  He stops on the spot and glares at me. “You’re seriously pissing me off.”

  “Because I dare to go on a date?” I unlink my arm from his. “I told you the other night I wanted to start dating.”

  “You told me you were horny.”

  “Same thing.”

  “They are not the same.”

  “So, what do you do when you’re horny?” I bark.

  “I fuck someone, Eliza. I most definitely don’t have lunch with someone I work with in a professional environment.”

  We arrive at the restaurant, and he opens the door with attitude. We walk in and see our friends sitting at the back table.

  “For your information,” I whisper as we weave through the tables. “I don’t have sex with strangers. I’m not a fucking sleazebag.”