Our Way

by Swan, T L

  Waves of pleasure shoot through my balls, and my legs open farther. I need it deeper. I want inside her.

  Now.

  I drag her off the floor and pull her over me and in one hard pump I’m halfway in. She whimpers and, with my hands on her hipbones, I move her from side to side to loosen her up for me. She rises onto her knees a little higher, and I circle my thumb over her clitoris to open her up. Unable to help it, I slide my fingers lower and wipe them through her dripping wet lips, and I hiss out loud.

  My cock begins to thump.

  The air crackles between us. I’ve never had sex like I do with her—intimate and raw. She’s on fucking fire.

  She slides down and takes the full length of my cock, and we both stare at each other as we hold off moving, teetering on the edge of our orgasms. It’s deep like this, making both of us come almost instantaneously.

  It just feels too good.

  “Legs up, baby,” I mouth.

  Like the good girl that she is, she brings her legs up into a squatting position and rests her hands on my shoulders. The room begins to spin.

  I tip my head back, and she licks up my neck and runs her teeth along my jaw. “Fuck me,” she breathes into my ear.

  My jaw clenches. Careful, I remind myself as my hands tighten on her ass. My eyes drop to her bouncing breasts. I’ll never get sick of this view.

  The ultimate aphrodisiac.

  Something snaps when I’m inside of her; I lose all control, blinded by the ultimate target—the need to fuck and come hard.

  Slowly, I lift her up, and she smiles in anticipation. Then, I slam her down onto me.

  She cries out, and I’m lost to the sensation.

  Lost to her.

  I lift her and slam again and again, and her beautiful, hot cunt ripples around me.

  Her lips take mine and, oh… fuck, I love this woman.

  She clenches down, and we both moan as an orgasm runs between us. Our lips fall tender, and she holds my face in her hands.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  I smile up at her in awe and kiss her chest. I hold her body to mine, my head against her breasts.

  I’m home.

  Eliza

  Nathan pulls the car into the underground parking lot.

  “This is it?” I frown as I dip my head to look up at the swanky building. It looks like a trendy warehouse with big archway windows. The bricks are dark and distressed, and the doorman stands by the grand entranceway, wearing a black suit. “How many apartments are in here?” I ask.

  “Eight.”

  “What’s in the rest of the building?” I frown as he scans his key and the garage door goes up. We drive down two levels.

  “Nothing, it’s all apartments.”

  “What the hell?” My eyes flicker to Nathan. “This is all apartments? How much did this cost you?”

  “Enough.” He parks the car and gets out. He opens my door and he takes my hand before he leads me to the elevator. Moments later, the elevator doors open up to a private landing.

  “Who else is on this floor?” I ask.

  “Nobody.” He puts the key into the door.

  “It’s the entire floor?” I gasp.

  He opens the door, and my mouth falls open. “Nathan,” I whisper.

  It’s beautiful. It has an industrial, trendy kind of vibe. My eyes are wide as I look around at the splendor.

  “This is the kitchen.” Nathan smiles proudly as he plays tour guide. “I knew you would love this room.”

  “Holy shit.” It’s huge—the size of my old living room—and has every swanky appliance known to man.

  “Living area.” He shows me through to find a gigantic living area and dining room.

  “This is the gym.” He smiles. “My office, your office.”

  I shake my head in disbelief. “This place is too fancy for us, Nathe.”

  “Too fancy for me, probably, but just right for you.” He takes my hands in his. “Do you like it?”

  “I love it.” My eyes dart around, too excited to look at just one thing.

  “Our bedroom is down here.” He leads me down the grand hallway and into a huge master bedroom. My eyes widen. “This is bigger than my entire apartment.”

  “Wouldn’t be hard,” he mutters dryly as he looks around.

  The bathroom has an oversized circular bathtub sunken into the floor. “It’s like a movie.” I step into the bathtub and lie down. I smile up at him. “How do I look?”

  “Hot.” He sits down on the side of the bath. He has a very smug look on his face. “I think we’ll be very happy here.”

  I reach up and run my fingers through his stubble. “But you do know that I don’t need a fancy apartment to be happy, don’t you?” I kiss his big, beautiful lips. “I could live anywhere as long as I have you.”

  He pulls my face to his and deepens the kiss. “And you do, my love. And you do.”

  * * *

  It’s Friday, and I’m walking down the sidewalk to meet my two bitch-ball friends. I’m annoyed with them. They’ve called me every day, asking to go to lunch. I’ve been using the move as an excuse—said I was too busy. But the truth is, I don’t want to hear their judgemental crap.

  They rattled me the other day, and at a time when Nathan and I should be blissfully in love, they put this annoying little voice in my head that won’t go away. It’s like a poison—a bad spell that’s seeping into my bones.

  How will you cope when he leaves you for a man?

  I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t cope if Nathan left me for any reason… but to lose him to a man?

  I’ve heard of it happening before; careless whispers: her husband left her for a man, and you don’t really think about the consequences of it or how badly it would scar you as a woman. But I’ve only ever heard of straight men leaving their wife for a man. Never the other way around.

  But Nathan is different….so different, to anyone I know actually.

  It’s the weirdest thing because the reality is, I can’t even imagine that Nathan has ever slept with a man. Especially not now that we have the most incredible sex ever. He’s so in tune with me and is absolutely besotted with my body.

  To think that he has… no. I can’t. I won’t.

  I get a vision of him with a man, and I close my eyes in pain. My stomach rolls. I hate this visual. I had it yesterday, too.

  Is sex with them better than what he has with me?

  Couldn’t be.

  I keep reminding myself that that’s his past, and he can’t change it even if he wanted to. Whatever he has done over time to get to where and who he is now, I should be grateful for it.

  But what if he needs it in the future?

  Stop it.

  I hate this feeling, damn them for ruining this for us, it’s like I’m waiting for the shoe to drop. For him to come out to me one morning and say that he changed his mind and it was all a big mistake.

  I know that maybe it’s just fear that something is going to go wrong because I’m so blissfully happy and maybe if he didn’t have this past, I would be fixating on something else, scaring myself to oblivion.

  Because that’s what I am.

  I’m scared—petrified that I’m going to lose him, and even more terrified that I won’t deal with it if I do. Last night, I laid in bed and watched him sleep for two hours. My mind was going over and over every little detail about the things I remember about his past. Dates he’s been on, men he’s been with… and then there’s Stephanie.

  She’s a whole other problem. Thankfully, Nathan has been too busy to go to the gym since we’ve been home, and quite frankly, I don’t want him to go back. Well, he won’t have to soon because our new place has a gym… thank God. I don’t want him to ever see her again. She would be after him, I know she would, especially now that she knows how beautiful he is and that he’s packing heat.

  Damn him and his big, magical dick.

  I know we weren’t together when he was with her, but he had feelings
for me….so in my mind, he cheated. I know he didn’t really, but it kind of feels like he did.

  Maybe he was curious about women in general. He said that she was a means to an end.

  My stomach rolls. Fuck, he could leave me for a million reasons. I don’t know why I’m fixated on the male thing. Nathan is attractive to everyone who meets him.

  Memories of my first boyfriend, Thomas, come flooding back. There are a lot of similarities between him and Nathan. Well, there isn’t at all, actually, but the way I loved so wholeheartedly is similar. I was seventeen, and so in love, but he broke my heart when he left me for another girl. I got over it quickly, and I bounced back well. Looking back, it was only puppy love, but maybe that’s where all this fear is coming from. Perhaps knowing Nathan so well and knowing how much I stand to lose if we don’t work out is just making me batshit crazy.

  Ugh, I hate feeling insecure…. maybe, I need to see Nathan’s therapist too?

  I open the door of the restaurant in a rush.

  I just want to stop all these negative thoughts and go back to our Majorca love bubble. Where nobody else existed except him and I.

  I see the girls near the window, and I give them a small wave. “Hi.” I kiss them both and fall into my seat. I put my hand up. “Before you say anything, I don’t want to hear it.” I push my chair in. “I’m not discussing Nathan with you. You’ve made me all insecure, and I’ve been going out of my mind.”

  Brooke’s face falls. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah,” Jo says. “We were assholes the other day, sorry. We were just worried.”

  “I know.” I sigh. “I get it.” I pick up Jolie’s wine and take a sip. “Trust me, I’m worried, too.”

  “You are?” Jo frowns.

  “I’m not stupid, girls. I know the chances of this turning bad are high.”

  “Not necessarily. We don’t know that, it’s Nathan after all, he adores you. Nobody could love you more than he already does.”

  “That’s the worst part about it.” I sigh. “I know that he loves me….and even if he wanted to leave me. He wouldn’t.”

  Jolie frowns. “What are you saying?”

  “I don’t know.” I snatch up my menu, feeling over emotional. I shake my head in disgust with my train of thought. “I don’t even know what I’m talking about.” I look through my menu, change of subject. “What are we eating?”

  * * *

  It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m pottering around, unpacking. The new apartment looks amazing, and we have worked all weekend to pull it together.

  The furniture is in place. We ended up bringing my couch, although it is way too small for this space. It will have to do until we get a new one. We left most of Nathan’s furniture in his apartment, bringing only his personal belongings and clothes.

  Nathan has stopped unpacking to watch the game, and I’m sorting the linen closet. I’m almost done. I have to go back to my apartment through the week and pack the rest of the things up to go into storage. Either that or sell them. Nathan says to throw it all into storage and we will sort it out later. We are too busy at the moment.

  I tend to agree—we are too busy—and there’s the small issue of me going away on a conference with Henry next week. Worst timing ever.

  I haven’t told Nathan yet. I’ve been skirting around it because I know he’s going to hit the roof.

  “Come and sit with me, babe!” he calls.

  “I just want to get this finished!” I call back.

  “I’ll help you tomorrow night. You haven’t stopped all day.”

  “I know, but I have a busy week next week, remember?” I close my eyes. Now. Tell him now.

  “Why, what’s going on?”

  “We have that charity ball next weekend, and then I have my work conference in Dallas. I leave Sunday afternoon, remember?”

  I open my eyes and continue to fold the towels. I see movement out of the corner of my eye.

  “What did you say?” Nathan comes into the laundry room.

  “I have a work conference next week.”

  “With who?”

  “Henry.”

  He glares at me. “No.”

  “Nathan.”

  “I said fucking no. You’re not going anywhere with him.”

  17

  Eliza

  I roll my eyes. “Nathan, I have to go; it’s a condition of the job.”

  “You’re not going.”

  “I agreed to this conference at my interview and I can’t get out of it. I’m not discussing this with you.”

  “Was that before or after he told you he was attracted to you?”

  I open my mouth to say something smart back, but no words come out.

  How does he know that?

  “I misunderstood him.” I fire back as I march up the hallway, and he storms after me.

  “Well, Eliza?” he calls. “Which was it? Before or after he literally told you he wants to fuck you?”

  “He did not say that.” I snap as I walk into the bathroom, and I turn the shower on with force. “You’re making shit up now. He does not want to fuck me. This is all in your head.” I take my clothes off and get under the hot water. “Get out, I want to shower in peace.”

  “I’m not making shit up, and you know it.” He growls. “Over my dead fucking body will you be going to a conference alone with that fucker.”

  I shake my head in disgust. “Tempting.”

  “Tempting? What’s fucking tempting?”

  “Knocking you out with a shovel. It’s a work conference, Nathan, in a professional environment. I don’t go to your work things.”

  “What?” He yells in an outrage. “I don’t go to any conferences without you, and you know it.”

  God, he doesn’t really. That was a bad example.

  I put my head under the water, hoping it will block him out. I wash my hair as he paces back and forth in the bathroom, livid.

  “I know how this goes. He takes you to dinner, gets you drunk, and the next thing you know, you wake up naked in his bed, full of remorse.”

  I roll my eyes. “You make it sound like I don’t get hit on, ever. I get hit on every day by men, you know, Nathan? I can look after myself, and quite frankly, I’m fucking annoyed that you would even say that, let alone think it.”

  “I’m not saying it about you,” he splutters, “I’m saying it about him.”

  I turn my back to him, my anger rising by the second. “Well, don’t. I’m offended at the mention of it. This is my job, Nathan. Get out.”

  “Resign. Come and work for me. It’s only a matter of time before you do, anyway.”

  “No.” Here we go again. “I’m not working for you, I told you that. Besides, I like my job.”

  He narrows his eyes. “You do, do you?”

  My rubber band snaps, and I step out of the shower. Water sloshes everywhere. “Listen, asshole, around the time I had this interview and accepted this job and the conditions that I had to go to this conference, you were snorting cocaine from strippers’ stomachs and getting a head job by a girl called Stephanie.”

  His face falls.

  “So, don’t you dare,”—I poke him hard in the chest—“have the audacity to slut-shame me for going on a work conference. If you want to fight, Nathan, let’s fucking go! Because I sure as shit have more to be pissed about than you do.”

  He puts his hands on his hips and glares at me, knowing full well that he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

  “Do not bring this up again,” I warn him. “I’m going to my work conference, and you are going to support me like a loving partner. Grow the fuck up.”

  He storms from the bathroom.

  My heart races as the adrenaline pumps through my body, and I get back under the water. Eventually, I calm down and smile proudly. I won that fight, fair and square.

  Take that.

  Nathan turns the page of his book, and I glance over at him as he sits on the lounge chair. He’s in his navy-blue, s
ilk boxer shorts, and he has been reading for hours. “Are you not talking to me?” I ask.

  “I’m talking to you.” He says as his eyes stay glued to his book.

  “Doesn’t feel like it.”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I don’t know. Come over here and kiss me, perhaps?”

  He turns the page again. “I’m not in the mood for kissing.”

  I roll my eyes, there’s no way he read that page that quick, he’s sitting there sulking, that’s what he’s doing. “Okay, suit yourself.” I get up and walk into the bedroom to clean my teeth.

  “What are you doing?” he calls.

  “Going to bed.”

  “You don’t say goodnight now?”

  “I’m not in the mood to say goodnight!” I call, I smile to myself. If he wants childish, I’ll give him childish.

  “Very funny.”

  “I thought so.”

  I brush my teeth, braid my hair, and I climb into bed. I’m not grovelling to him when he’s being an unreasonable dick. No way in hell.

  I lie in bed for a while and eventually I hear the television turn off. He fusses around for a bit and brushes his teeth, and then he gets into bed. He turns his side lamp on.

  “What are you doing?” I frown.

  “I’m reading.”

  “Why did you bother coming to bed if you want to read? Why didn’t you just stay out there and read?” I huff with my back to him.

  “Because I wanted to be close to you, but of course, you are completely wrecking it, so stop talking.”

  I smile against my pillow. “What does it feel like to be the world’s biggest baby?”

  “I’m not a baby.” He snaps.

  I roll over and look up at him. “I beg to differ.”

  “I just know what these medical conferences are like, Eliza. They’re a free-for-all fuck fest.”

  “Nathan, it’s me,” I say softly. “I don’t care who Henry sleeps with on his conference but it won’t be me because I’m in love with you.”