Scarred

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Scarred Page 8

by Amy Sparks


  As I’m waiting for the elevator door to open, I see this cute girl standing next to me. I honestly did not realize until then that she was standing there waiting for the elevator, but she’s looking at me. I mean, I’m flattered but I only have one girl on my mind. Ava. Not her. And so as much as I want to smile and flirt and ask her for her phone number, I’m not as over Ava as I thought I would be. I mean some guys would kiss girls and forget about them in five minutes, but somehow with Ava, it’s hard too. Her kisses just bring me to life, and I can’t forget about her that easily.

  The elevator door opens and I let the girl go first. Manners, of course. She smiles and does this little flirty thing with her hair like all girls do. Ava doesn’t though. She just bites her lower lip which makes me crazy as hell. She doesn’t know that I would stare at her when she does that. And the truth is? That habit is crazy sexy.

  As I step into the elevator, I lean back and take a deep breath. I keep somehow flexing my hand because it makes me calm down. I know that girl is looking at me, but I don’t care. I don’t blame her though, I do have abs and muscles. I also have a twelve pack which I think is the best thing in the entire world for guys to have. I look straight ahead, waiting for the door to close. It’s taking forever. Damn it.

  As the elevator is still open I see this girl who’s talking to someone. Someone I know. A girl who makes my heart skip a beat. A girl whose name is Ava. Ava. My Ava. What the hell? Am I hallucinating or what? I mean, I thought I saw her outside while I was saying goodbye to my parents and brothers, and now I see her again! Is this real or not? Holy shit. She’s talking to a girl while holding her bags. Maybe it’s just someone who looks like her? Ugh!!! Okay, if it’s really her, she would do the habit that Ava has. Biting her lower lip. As I’m waiting for that signal from her, the elevator starts to close and my nightmare has begun. She puts a piece of hair behind her ear and then as she talks to that girl she does it. She bites her lower lip and fixes her hair. What???

  I drop my bags right away which make a big sound but it’s not like I care. I might’ve scared the girl next to me though. As I rush out from the elevator it closes on me. The elevator door closes on me as I wanted to rush out of it to see Ava! What kind of stupid world is this! If this was fate, which I think it is, why would fate close on me even though it’s helping me??? I kick the elevator door and also punch it. I think I’m scaring the girl in the elevator with me, and so I stop and mumble sorry to her under my breath. I lean back and lift up my bags. Damn all of this. It’s Ava, my Ava.

  Chapter 12

  Ava

  I think I almost had a heart attack. I just saw Conner. My Conner. It all started when I left my house, driving to the university. As I got out of the car, my dad was handing me my bags while I said goodbye to my family, and that’s when I see him. I knew it was him by his face of course, but maybe it was also because I kind of remember his license plate, and that’s what made me think it was him. And believe me, it was.

  When I saw that he was here, I think I almost died. It took me a while to realize why he’s here, until I figured out that he got into the same university as I did! Huh, small world. As my parents were saying goodbye to me, Conner turns around and sees me. He saw me, which made me wanna run for my life. Is this fate? Or is this some damn cruel joke that fate did to me since I didn’t have dinner with my family last night?

  Coming back to the story, Conner saw me. He saw me and he looked like he’s seen a ghost. He turned around fast, which was a good time for me to hide. I hid behind my dad’s car, trying not to look like an idiot in front of them as I tried to hide from Conner. I’m guessing Conner looked again to see if I really was there in front of his eyes, but if he looked back again, and didn’t see me, he might think that he was crazy.

  As I said goodbye to my parents, I tried to hide behind some kids to get inside the university. The coast was clear by when I saw Conner going in first, and by going in the elevator. As he waits for the elevator I saw this pretty girl standing next to me, fluttering her hair. I think by then I was gonna punch her in the face for stealing my man, but come on. He ain’t my man. He’s just a man that I kissed and enjoyed it. I wanted to do that again, and again. As I tried to cool myself off, I accidentally bumped into this girl and I thought was gonna kill me.

  As I said sorry, she apologized too, and told me her name. Her name was Lilly, who was in her second year of university. She told me where I needed to go first, which was my dorm room. As I was talking to her, I didn’t know that I was standing right in the middle of the hall, where Conner could see me. I was waiting for that little ding coming from the elevator, but I never could. I only heard this noise, which made me turn around for a second, seeing Conner trying to walk out of the elevator. He saw me. For real this time. Ugh Ava, you're such a dumbass. But really? Did the elevator really have to close at that moment? Ugh, somehow my life is getting worse every minute. I know Conner is going upstairs, and I really want to race up there fast, since my dorm is upstairs too.

  I say thank you to the girl and race to the elevators. I click the button about ten times, hoping it opens. My prayer has worked, and one of the elevators opens. I race into it and repeatedly press the button to close the elevator. It finally closes and I lean on the wall and take a big deep breath. At least I’m alone in this. I press number four and wait until I reach that level. Oh god, I’m hoping that my roommate is nice, and I’m kind of hoping that I don’t see Conner, but at the same time, I really wanna see him. Ugh, why is this so confusing? The elevator door opens and I take a deep breath. I can do this. Ugh, I can’t do this. I pick up my bags and walk out of the elevator. Okay, the sign is clear.

  I pull out this little piece of paper that says my dorm number. 72. Okay, number 72. Seven is lucky. I walk down the halls and try to find number 72. I see lots of kids coming out of their dorms, which makes me think if I’m late since I’m still finding my dorm. I also see lots of guys in these halls, which makes me confused. Do boys have dorms in these halls too? Oh no. If Conner has his dorm in this one, I think I’m about to throw up just by thinking of it. I continue to walk to find the number, 68, 70, 72! Yes!! I smile and knock on the door. Can I just open the door? I mean it is my dorm, but I do have to share it with someone... Someone I don’t even know. I take a deep breath and open the door. As I open the door I make a little prayer, hoping she won’t kill me in my sleep. I fully open the door and notice that there is nobody in here. Just one made bed, which I assume is hers, and another bed, which is mine. Her side is full of posters of boys, which makes me cringe. Great, now I gotta see those posters every time I come in here. Ugh, is she gonna be those types of girls? I close the door and try to see what else she put here. I see some makeup and jewelry, and her clothes are hung in the closet. There is some space for me too, which is kind. I drop my bags on the floor which create a big thump. The bathroom door opens and it makes me jump.

  “Ethan, I swear to god if you’re in my room I will cut your balls off--” She says, then stops as she sees me. She covers her mouth and laughs.

  “I am so sorry. Terribly sorry. I kind of thought you were my idiotic friend.” She says laughing. She puts out her hand and smiles at me.

  “I’m guessing we haven’t introduced yet. Hi, I’m Aviva, your roommate. And you are?” She says, waiting to shake my hand. I’m kind of frozen right now since she scared me, and since she’s sweeter than I thought she would be. Come on! Say your stupid name!

  “Um, my name. Uh, my name is. Uh, sorry my name is Ava.” I say trying to force the words out. She must think I’m an idiot or something. And she wouldn’t be wrong, I am. She laughs and shakes my hand. Damn this girl has a good grip.

  “Well great! Sorry if I already took that side, if you want we can switch.”

  “Oh no, please it’s okay. It’s just I’m shocked at how nice you are.” I say, then covering my mouth, surprised at the words that spilled out of my mouth. She laughs and combs through her hair. She’s about the same
height as me, brown eyes and hair and slim just like me. A bit like Emily, but taller. She also has a darker skin color as me, which I kind of want.

  “Wow, thanks. You’re really nice too. I’m just kind of happy I didn’t get those stupid girls that act like if they don’t get anything they want, they get mad. I’m not like that. Maybe only with chocolate, but most of the time, I am so not like that.” She laughs and walks over to her side of the room. I smile and put my bag on my bed. I’ll make it later, right now I gotta be somewhere. I need to get the schedule for my classes or else I won’t know where to go tomorrow.

  “I was kind of hoping you could tell me where we go to get our schedule for our classes?” I ask, hoping she won’t think I don’t want to hang out with her or something. I just want to see where my classes are. She smiles and walks to the door.

  “Yeah, don’t worry. I already got my schedule for my classes, I could take you there if you don’t mind.” She says putting her hand on the handle.

  “I don’t mind at all. Lead the way.” I smile and she laughs. She opens the door and walks out of the room. I put my hair up in a loose bun and I take my phone out of my bag and put it in my back pocket. I walk out of the room and wait for her as she closes the door and locks it. We walk to the elevator and wait for it to open. As we’re waiting I hear a voice. A voice I know by heart, a voice that I only hear in my dreams, and a voice that could only be from… Conner.

  “Ava?” I hear which makes me jump and turn around.

  “Holy….” I say, waiting for Conner to walk to me. He doesn’t, only seems scared to walk up to me, thinking that I’ll just vanish into thin air if I do. And believe me, I won’t.

  “I’m guessing he’s your boyfriend?” Aviva says, which makes me smile.

  “Yeah. Kind of. Um, I’ll meet you downstairs okay? It’ll only take about a second.” I say to her. She smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder.

  “Ava, take all the time you need. I’ve been in one of these situations. Why do you think that I thought you were Ethan and I wanted to cut your balls off?” I laugh as she does too. Huh, I guess I actually might have just made a friend here.

  “Thanks,” I say as the elevator door now opens. She lets go and walks in the elevator. She winks at me and mouths “Good luck” at me. I mouth “thanks” at her as the elevator door now closes. I now might need the luck right now. I take a deep breath and turn around to see Conner. He’s hot. He’s real. So I guess I actually did kiss him last night skipped on my family dinner for him. Just for him. He’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt that fits him so well. Damn it. He looks so confused, but his eyes show happiness that he sees me. I take one step and try not to faint. I bite my lower lip, which makes his eyes light up.

  “I’m guessing your room is in the same hallway as mine. Correct?” I say in a whisper. He nods and smiles.

  “I guess god finally answered my prayers.” He laughs and looks straight into my eyes. Is this a dream or what?

  “I um. Uh. I guess I should be going.”

  “Ava.” He says as I almost turn around to leave. I could leave now, but then I wouldn’t hear what he was about to say. So I stay.

  “Look, we both know that we had a spark last night. And now you're here. I mean doesn’t this seem like fate to you?” I nod slowly, but he just keeps on going with his beautiful words.

  “I mean after last night, I couldn’t sleep. I mean all I could do was think about you. I couldn’t get you out of my head Ava! I mean it was so freakin hard to get you out of my head.” Connor says, and walks closer and closer to me. Right now, I kind of want to crawl up into a corner and die. My dad would always say that love would be lead to fate, only fate. Right now, it feels like fate hates me or something. I mean I like Connor, but honestly? University was my time to find my place, and somehow fate has lead my love here. The only place that I thought I was gonna find myself. Ugh, crap. I crack my knuckles, trying to calm myself as Connor looks at me straight into my eyes. It’s like he’s trying to see through my deepest darkest secrets, which makes me scared. I take a deep breath and think about what I’m gonna say to him. The thing is, what am I gonna say to him anyway? Damn it. Just damn. I take one step back and try to see if I can get away from this. Maybe I can run and press the button of the elevator and run inside it and hopefully it will close fast enough for him to not stop it. To not stop me, because right now, it’s my only choice. I hear the elevator door open with a ding, telling me this is my chance. I take the opportunity and turn and run into the elevator door before it closes. I know Conner must hate me, or might think I’m crazy, but even I must agree with him. I mean most girls would chase for him, but I’m running away from him! Like what the hell? I know Emily would kill me right now by running away from a hot guy. I mean a hot guy who even likes me! I mean what are the odds? But whatever, I’m not those girls who would have a lifetime commitment with a person. I mean I guess after Jayson, I never looked back on that type of person I was. I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs…. anymore and I sure as hell ain’t gonna pierce another feature on my body just to look cool. I’m a different girl, but then Connor came into my life just like that. Coming back to reality, the elevator door is closing as I hear Connor yelling my name. Shit… I take a deep breath then let out a scream as he puts his foot in between the elevator door to stop it from closing. Crap, I’m so dead. He looks pissed, like very pissed for some reason. I mean it’s not like I shot his family in front of him or something. I just ran away from him when he was confessing his love for me. That’s all… is that really that bad? He looks ticked off. I see it by on how his jaw is set, and on how his eyes kind of look like the eyes of a shark that is hungry for the blood of a human. The elevator door opens and then it closes. Great, what else does the world want to do for me to die right now? I stumble by taking a step back, finally stopping when I figure out there is no more room for me to move. Motherfudger… I’m about to have an anxiety attack, and I’m not even claustrophobic! I make a little prayer in my head and then I have no choice but to look straight into Connor’s stupid, beautiful eyes. Damn it. I can’t even be mean to his stupid features. His parents must look really beautiful since Connor is freakin gorgeous! I mean he’s the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen in my entire lifetime. I mean Jayson was okay, but Connor is freakin amazing. Ugh, stop it, Ava. You’re being idiotic again. I go back to reality and just noticing that Connor is coming closer and closer to me. Ugh, why me? Why, why me?

  “So, how are you?” I say, trying to relieve the tension, but just saying those four words is just making me regret it cause right now I sound like a dumbass.

  “Not. Funny. Ava. Let’s see, right now I’m feeling a little bit confused and mad on why the girl that I like is running away from me?” He says now coming so close, I can just lean up and kiss him right on those perfect lips. Ugh great Ava, you are now thinking of his lips. Just great. I groan at myself, which makes his eyebrow go up. He puts his hand on the wall right on top of my head. Ughhhh.

  “So, what number are you stopping at?”

  “Nowhere. I’m not leaving until you answer to me why the hell you’re avoiding me!” He says with a tone that makes me angry. I scoff at him and turn my back on him. I don’t need to talk to him, I owe him nothing. Do I?

  “Ava. Look. Please look at me.” I turn around and stare into those brown chestnut eyes. Damn him and his perfect eyes. Why the hell do guys have perfect eyes anyway? I mean were they just blessed to look so handsome and perfect without one flaw in the world? I mean come on! I roll my eyes and look down on the floor. I cannot even look at him. It just hurts, and I don’t even know why. I mean we’re not even together, so why do I give a crap about it anyway? I know for a second that the tears start rolling in. I don’t cry. At all. I try to hold it back but I can’t. That one tiny salty tear drops from my eye as I try not to wipe it away. I cannot let Connor see I’m crying. I can’t. I just can’t. But I know he knows, damn it, he knows. I hear him say something under his b
reath which makes me shake. Great, I’m scaring the poor guy. Great… I wipe away the tear and swear under my breath. I feel so stupid now and as Connor comes closer my phone dings. Thank god! I put on a straight face and take out my phone from my back pocket. Crap, it’s Emily.

  “Ooh, I forgot to tell you sis but the hottie that you met at the restaurant. Connor? Yeah, I think that was his name, anyway, I forgot to tell you that he goes to the same college as you. Haha, funny, right? Anyway, I should’ve told you before but I forgot, and I didn’t wanna pressure you. Anyways have fun! Btw, if you’re planning on have the “thing” with him, I put in some condoms in your little pocket. Ps, mom doesn’t know... You’re welcome. Love Ya!”

  She has written a long ass paragraph that is disturbing me a lot. But also, makes me warm on the inside. I love Emily for caring, but right now I wanna choke her and torture her in every possible way. I know I know, dark, right? Well, it's damn right. Also, too late Em, I already found him already… And guess what? He’s standing right in front of me watching every step I take. I groan at the message and put my phone back. I look up and see Connor watching me. Damn it, what if he saw the message? Nah. Or did he?...

  “Heh, um, it was just Emily. You know. My big sister...” I say as the last words turn into a whisper. I do not want to talk to him, but somehow, I want too. I really really want to. Oh god, what’s wrong with me? Oh, I got it! Everything… Everything is wrong with me, and that everything is Connor.

  “Ava, please.” He says in a whisper that makes me shiver.

  “What do you want Connor? We’re nothing. It was one night okay? We kissed, that’s it. We’re nothing.”

  “I didn’t know you felt that way. I didn’t know you felt that way since I felt everything, Ava. And I know you do too. If you didn’t, then that kiss was not the kiss I feel when someone says it’s nothing to them. Ava, come on. You did feel something didn’t you?” He says straight to my heart. My soul. My whole life, and somehow, I felt the same thing as him. I don’t like being wrong, but somehow he’s proving me that I am.

 

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