by Amy Sparks
“Connor, I… I can’t do this. I just can’t.” I say without an ending because that’s how I always am. To no end, and no one can find that ending for me because it doesn't exist.
“Ava… Please. Tell me. Tell me you felt something when you kissed me because I sure felt something.” I say hoping she’ll agree with me. The way we kissed, it’s somehow a spark. Chemistry. That somehow cannot be ignored.
"I don't know Connor. I don't know." I say as I try to move away from him. There's nowhere to go and I'm getting flustered. I try to move away from him but it doesn't work. He's everywhere. Damn small elevator.
"Fine. Whatever Ava. Whatever." He says in a cold tone that makes me wince. He hates me, and it's all my fault. This is what happens when you fall in love with girls who don't wanna fall in love Connor! My mind spins as I think of something fast, but nothing comes out. All I'm thinking right now is what number I should press. There's an urge in me to look at Connor but I can't. Not right now since I broke his heart. And mine. My head can't take it anymore so I look at him. He's sad. Who wouldn't be? After all, a girl just broke his heart. He's not looking at me and it kills me. I soon just say "hell with it" and I walk forward to him. He still doesn't look up and it's making me mad now. Come on Connor... look up. I urge myself to touch his cheek so he can look up at him. What I didn't know that I was already touching his cheek and now I'm just waiting for him to look at me. After maybe a whole minute he looks up at me and I see that pain in his eyes. The pain I've never seen when I was with a guy before. Jayson never had that pain before, but Connor somehow does. He sighs and that's when I say, "go time." I go on my tippy toes and I kiss him. He doesn't kiss me right away which scares me, but then he does. He picks me up and we're in full mode now. I'm just hoping that this elevator door doesn't open because that would just be full on weird. Connor keeps on kissing me and it's making me all warm inside. My Connor. He's mine and no one else.
Chapter 13
Connor
I think I'm in love. I thought I lost Ava after that stupid talk but somehow I didn't. She came back to me and I love it. I love her. She's mine now and I'm not letting her girl. I keep on kissing her because I miss her so much. Even though I've known her for about two weeks, I'm in love with her. I think I am. I can't live without her so I think this is "love." Yeah, I'm eighteen years old and it's still too early to be "in love" but who cares. I am in love and I'm in love with Ava. Ava stops kissing me after a minute as I do too. We're taking big breaths because that was some kiss that we just did. Ava's lips are puffed and her hair's a mess, which is so hot. My hair must be a mess too and my lips should be puffed up but I don't care. I just won Ava back and this is awesome. I'm trying to come up with something to say but I'm paused as I hear her laughing. Man, I missed her laughs. She laughs and laughs and now that's making me laugh too. Even though I have no idea what we're laughing at, it feels good to laugh.
"Just asking, what are we laughing at?" I say as she continues to laugh.
"I don't know, but doesn't it feel good to laugh?" She says, and she couldn't be more wrong.
"Yeah, it does feel good to laugh," I say as I walk closer to her and grab her hand so I can hold it. Damn how much I missed her. I thought University would be a total pain in the butt but now since Ava is here, nothing is a pain anymore.
"So... Uh, what do we do now?" I honestly have not thought about that and now since those words have left her mouth, it startles me. What do we do now? Is she my girlfriend now? Am I her boyfriend now? I'm biting my lip and I come up with something that won't make her run away again. Cause if she runs away again, that would just shatter my heart. I see her biting her lip which means that she's thinking. I'm about to say something so this silence can stop, but she beats me to it.
"Um well. Hm, I guess we can take things slow and I don't know.. Date?" The words somehow carefully come out of her mouth like a bomb, and I'm scared that it might explode and she could be lying about this. She said "date." Ava and I dating. Holy crap. I'm gonna be dating Ava! Hell yes! I try to hold my happiness inside myself, but I know that Ava can see it. I'm smiling so hard, you can just feel my happiness jumping off of me.
"Uh so, I guess we're uh, dating now?" I say, which makes her smile. Damn, I love her smile.
"Yup. Hope you're okay with being my boyfriend through this crappy life." She says with a laughter which makes me smile even more. I grab her by the hips and bring her closer to me. I smile as I whisper the words I've wanted to tell her since the beginning I've met her.
"Hell yeah." Those words can be the answer to any question that comes to this crappy life. My crappy life. Ava's crappy life. Our crappy life. The world somehow hates us, yet loves us even so. The world gave me shit as it almost killed me in that stupid car crash and almost ruined my life. Somehow though, life blessed me as it brought me, Ava. It brought me a girl that changed my life under three weeks. Some life right? But hey, who's counting. Oh right, me.
Chapter 14
Ava
I'm in love. This should be a nightmare or a dream because this can't come true. I'm in love. Am I in love? Me? Oh hell, no.. I am in love! Connor is looking at me which is making this even worse. He's my boyfriend now somehow, and I'm his girlfriend. This can go either very bad, or it can go either very good. Who knows! All I know is that I'm Connor's girlfriend now, and it's the best feeling in the entire world. He's smiling at me which makes me blush, damn how much I love this boy. We're only eighteen, but isn't this what love is? Being young and irresponsible, but somehow can figure out life and can find that person who can save you and help you and stand by your side until maybe the day you die? I hope I'm right because I just found that guy. I found Connor, and he better stay with me or else I might just fight this kid.
"So, you wanna make out now or you wanna just live this sorry ass life?" He says which takes me a second to process on what he just said.
"Um, I'm gonna say no to the first thing you just said, but for that second one, hell yeah." He smiles as those words just made him the happiest person in the entire world. I lost count of the time and forgot about my classes and crap that I gotta unload. I take a step back but still stuck in Connor's arms as he won't let go of me.
"Uh Connor, you gotta let go. This has been fun, but I have so much work I gotta do, and so do you!" I say which makes him still smiling. Damn this boy is weird, but still mine.
"I can't. Not until you say the words that I've been waiting and dreaming for since I saw you, Ava." I stare into his eyes and give a confusing look since I have no clue what he's talking about. Absolutely no clue.
"What words?" I say which makes him turn serious. Oh crap, I'm dead. A sigh leaves his mouth as he brings me closer.
"You know what words Ava." Those words give me nothing. Not one clue until I figure what he actually means. The words that my mother says to my father and what my father says to my mother every time they're together. The words I hear my sister say as she talks to her friends on the phone. The words that can somehow change a life of a person, and the words that somehow didn't come through to me when I was with Jayson. My eyes sparkle as I think of those words which make Connor's eyes sparkle too.
"Oh. Those words. Hm, are you like dying to hear them or something?" I say which makes him groan.
"Well duh. Please, Ava. Don't make me suffer through this. Don't tease me with this. Just say it. You know it." Of course, I do. Without him, I wouldn't even understand the meaning of it. I might be crazy for falling in love with someone under like three weeks, but if it's love, it has to be crazy. I go on my tippy-toes and say the words Connor has been wanting to hear.
"I love you, Connor. Don't let this go through your head or something okay?" I say as he kisses me so hard, I almost fell down.
"It already did babe. It already did. Oh yeah, I forgot. I love you too." He says which makes me melt inside. Connor loves me, and I do too. Loves crazy, but guess what? So are we, and the life we live in is too.
Epilogue<
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Connor
It's been about almost a year and Ava and I have been strong since the beginning of our relationship. She loves me and I love her. Either this is some dream, or God is messing with me. I've pinched myself more than a thousand times so this is sure not a dream. I've just finished my business class and I'm headed to Ava's dorm since I got a surprise for her, and also I better not see any guy looking at her ass or anything. Her roommate is nice but crazy as hell. She keeps bringing guys over, or guys somehow come to them. Some weird shit and I don't like it. I don't need any guy looking at my girl's butt while I'm in a class or working at the diner. I've been working at the diner for about five months and I've been actually earning a lot of money so that's a good thing right now. I've been working double hours at the diner so I can buy something special for Ava and because I have nothing to do now while Ava is at classes and I'm just alone in the dorm. My roommate Josh is a nice guy, but he's a party dude, and I'm not a party dude. We just don't match. He's been a great friend though, and when I need help for something, he's always got my back for anything I need. So that's a huge relief. I told Josh what I got for Ava and how I'm gonna freak on how I'm gonna like present this thing. He's been telling me to "chillax" or something and that's the opposite of what I'm doing. I'm basically speeding as I'm driving but then reminding myself of what happened to me about two years ago, and I ain't risking that again. No way. I got Ava now, I'm not losing her again. I finally make it to the University and I try to park my car as slick and safe as I can. I get my car parked and I basically open the car door and close it fast so I can be there quick as possible. I lock my car and run into the University and race through the students as they go through the doors. I make way to the elevator doors and press close as fast as I can. The door closes without nobody in it. Just me. Thank god. I make sure I have the present for Ava because if I show up at her dorm without the present, I might just end my life. I wait for the number to stop at Ava's floor so I can rush out of this elevator as fast as I can. The elevator finally stops and I run out the elevator without banging into other people. I run to Ava's dorm and it takes me a good second that I'm standing right in front of her door. I'm shaking. Literally shaking and it's causing me to shake even more. I can do this. I can do this! Oh crap, I can't do this. I fight with my mind and I say, "to hell with it" and just go ahead and do this. As I almost knock on her door, the door opens which frightens my mind. Thinking that it was Ava, it was actually her roommate. Aviva.
"Seriously? Why the hell are you so nervous?" Aviva says with a cold tone that bothers me. I flick her off which makes her stick her tongue at me.
"Shut it. If you were in my shoes, you would feel the same way about how I'm feeling right now." I say which makes her roll her eyes. Damn this girl. She's so stubborn and hard to deal with sometimes. How does Ava do this? How does anyone do this?
"Well I'm sorry, but I'm not a guy and I don't need to do this. Love for me equals garbage. Also, your shoes would be humongous on me. They wouldn't fit you, idiot." Her snarky voice makes me wanna yell at her, but I'm a gentleman and I could never do that to a girl. Let alone, Aviva. Also, she might like jump on me and maybe stab a knife into my neck or something if I shout at her. I rather not get killed right now.
"Look, be my friend for this one second and please tell me if Ava is in there right now? Please?" I basically get down on my knees and pray that she lets me in and answers my damn question. She sighs which makes me smile.
"Of course she's in. Look, Connor, I like you. I honestly do, but if you mess this girl up, I swear I will find where you live and I will murder you in you're sleeping and I will feed your brain to my dog." I wince as I think of my brain being fed to her dog. Like that's gonna happen though. Right?.
"You already know where I live you psychopath. Also, I won't mess her up. Now can you let me in?!"
"Fine.." Aviva opens the door wider and lets me in their dorm. I walk into their room and I hear as Aviva closes the door which makes me more nervous. It's not like I've never been in their room before. Trust me, there were some days where Aviva was gone and Ava was alone with no one. She would invite me whenever Aviva was away at a club or something, and I would be invited when that would happen. I sit down on their couch and nervously wait for Ava to appear. I hear Aviva laugh as she thinks my pain is funny. Weird girl, but somehow Ava likes her. I hear Aviva going into their room and talking to Ava. I stand up right away as I hear footsteps coming to the room. Ava. She's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that makes her look hot as hell. Her hair is in a messy bun which makes her even hotter. Damn my girl doesn't even need to try, she just looks good.
"What's the wrong Connor? You okay?" She says as she walks closer to me. Ava can see through me. She knows when something is wrong and when something is right. I swallow hard and take Ava's hands in mine.
"You know how much I love you right?" I say which makes her roll her eyes.
"Of course I do. You show it every time I see you." I laugh which makes her laugh. I swear Aviva must be throwing up right now because of all of this.
"Well good. Uh, because. Well. I got a present for you." Now's the moment. The moment that might change our lives. Ava's face is full of confusion which is making this funny as hell, and also hard. I get down on one knee and Ava steps back. I hear her saying some words but I can't hear them. I reach into my back pocket and take out the red square box that has her present. Her ring. I take out the ring and close the box.
"What..." Ava says which makes me smile.
"Ava. This time together has been amazing, but not enough. I know, I know, we're young. We're only nineteen and still have no idea what to do with our lives, but I do. I want to be with you Ava. For the rest of my life until the day I die. So, I guess the idea that came to my mind was to marry you, Ava. We don't have to get married away, but I wanna marry you, Ava. I wanna marry you so bad it kills me. So, the question I am now gonna ask you, Ava, is this. Ava, will you marry me?" Those words leave my mouth like it was the easiest thing in the entire world.
"I uh. Well. We are uh young. Um." Ava struggles through the words which scare me. Say yes. Please say yes!
"I do love you though. So yes. Yes, Connor, I will marry you." It takes me a full minute to understand what she just said, and when she said "yes" that made me the happiest guy in the entire world. I stand up and put the diamond ring onto her left marriage finger. It fits perfectly which makes me even happier.
"I love you, Ava. So much." I say as I pick her up in my arms and kiss her lips as hard as I can. She stops and whispers the words that I always loved hearing. Always love hearing.
"I love you too." My heart bursts into happiness, and I continue kissing her until we run out of breath. Ava is now never leaving my life, and I'm never leaving her's. Ava is mine, and I'm her's. Love is sometimes crazy, but guess what? So are we.
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Thanks!
-Aria Grey,
editor of this book and designer of Amy Sparks’ covers.
About the Author
Amy Sparks is a sixteen-year-old author who lives in British Columbia, Canada. She has written one other book as of the release date of this book and she is planning on writing more books in the future. In real life, she has a best friend called Aria, on whom she based Ava’s friend Aviva, as well as the character Aria in her first book, titled ‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…’
n Archive.