Mary Ann's Angels

by Catherine Cookson

  He turned his eyes now down to David, and the boy looked up at him, and they smiled.

  When he rounded the bend he saw in the distance the bus pulling to a stop at the bottom of the road. He saw two people alight, a mother and child; he saw the conductor bend down and speak to the child; and it didn’t dawn on him who the woman and child were until the car had almost reached them.

  Mary Ann! Mary Ann had come back on her own…Aw, Mary Ann.

  He stopped the car and stared at her through the windscreen. She was some yards away and she, too, had stopped and was staring towards him. Then the next minute, as if activated by the same spring, they moved. Corny out of the car, and she towards him. They were both conscious of the children’s high-pitched, delighted screams, but at this moment they were something apart, something separate from themselves. Eye holding eye they stared at each other as they moved closer, and when his arms came out she flung herself into them, pressing herself against his hard, bony body, crying, ‘Oh, Corny! Oh, Corny!’

  ‘Mary Ann. Mary Ann.’ His voice was as broken as hers. He put his face down and buried it in her hair.

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Oh, Corny, I’m sorry.’

  ‘So am I. So am I.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t. I never meant it. I never meant to leave you; I must have been barmy…I had to come: I couldn’t stand it any longer.’ She lifted her streaming face upwards and simulated surprise as he said, softly, ‘I was coming for you.’

  ‘You were?’

  He nodded at her, then said under his breath, ‘I’ve nearly been round the bend.’

  ‘So have I…Oh, I’ve missed you. Oh Corny! Corny…And home…and everything. Oh, I wanted to be home, Corny. I…I never want to see the farm again…Well, not for weeks.’

  With a sudden movement he pressed her to him again; then said, ‘Let’s get back.’

  They came out of their world to see Rose Mary and David standing, hand in hand, looking at them.

  Both of the children now recognised that the gate into their parents’ world was open again and, with a bound, they dashed to them, Rose Mary towards Corny, who hoisted her up into the air, and David towards his mother. Mary Ann lifted the boy into her arms, and he hugged her neck, and when Mary Ann heard him say, ‘Oh, Mam…Mam,’ the words as distinct as Rose Mary would have said them, she experienced a feeling of deep remorse and guilt.

  Corny had been right. Her son was talking, and it was she herself who had prevented him from talking. She herself, who prayed each night that God would give him speech, had kept the seal pressed tightly on his lips; and the seal had been Rose Mary. And she had done it, as she knew now, not so much because she couldn’t bear the thought of the twins being separated, but because she couldn’t bear the thought of herself being separated from either of them. It was funny, the things that had to happen to you before you could be made to see your real motives.

  ‘Oh, Dad, Dad.’ Rose Mary was moving her hands over Corny’s face. ‘Oh, I’ve missed you, Dad. And our David. Oh, I have.’

  As the child’s voice broke, Corny said briskly, ‘Come on, let’s get back home.’ He put her down on the ground and put his arm out and drew Mary Ann to him; and she put David down, and together they went to the car, the children following.

  A few minutes later they were back on the drive, and as they piled out, Jimmy came running down the length of the garage. The grin was splitting his face as he stopped in front of Mary Ann, and with his head on one side he said, ‘Eeh! But I’m glad to see you back, Mrs Boyle.’

  ‘I’m glad to be back, Jimmy.’

  Mary Ann’s voice was very subdued and slightly dignified. He jerked his head at her twice. Then looking towards Rose Mary, he said, ‘Hello there, young ’un.’

  ‘Hello, Jimmy.’ Rose Mary ran to him and clasped his greasy sleeve, and he cried at her, ‘Look, you’ll get all muck and oil and then your ma’ll skelp me.’

  ‘She wouldn’t…Oh, lovely! We’re home.’ Rose Mary gave a leap in the air, then swung round and grabbed David with such force that he almost fell over backwards; then she herself almost fell over backwards, metaphorically speaking, when her brother said to her, ‘Give over.’ Rose Mary stood still looking at him; then glancing towards her mother and father, she cried, ‘He said give over. Did you hear him, Mam? A big word, give over, he said. David can talk proper, Mam.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Mary Ann, avoiding looking at Corny. Then she turned away and walked towards the house, and Corny followed her. And when Rose Mary, pulling David by the hand, came scrambling behind her father he turned, and, bending to them, said under his breath, ‘Stay out to play for a while.’

  ‘But, Dad, we’ve got our good things on.’

  ‘It’s all right. Just for a little bit. Don’t get mucked up. I’ll give you a shout in a minute.’

  David pulled his hand from Rose Mary’s and, turning about, ran back to where Jimmy stood. But Rose Mary continued to look at her dad. She wanted to go upstairs and get out of her good things; she had been in them far too long. Anyway, her dad should know that she couldn’t play in her good things.

  ‘But, Dad, it won’t take a minute.’

  ‘Rose Mary! Stay out until I call, you understand?’

  ‘Yes, Dad.’ Rose Mary remained still as Corny walked away from her and into the house; and as she stood, it came to her that their David had gone off on his own. She turned quickly about and watched David following Jimmy into the garage. He hadn’t shouted to her to come on, or anything.

  A funny little feeling came over Rose Mary. She couldn’t understand it. All she could do was associate it with the feeling she got when Miss Plum, after being nice to her, turned nasty. The feeling spurted her now towards the garage. She was back home with her mam and dad and their David, and their David couldn’t get along without her …

  Upstairs, in the kitchen, Corny sat in the big chair with Mary Ann curled up in his arms, very like a child herself. There was a tenderness between them, a new tentative tenderness, a tenderness that made them humble and honest. Mary Ann moved her finger slowly round the shirt button on his chest and looked at it as she said, ‘It’s taught me a lesson. I don’t think I’ll ever need another.’

  ‘You’re not the only one.’

  ‘Talk about purgatory. If purgatory is anything like this last few days I’m going to make sure that I’m not going to be a candidate for it. And you know,’ she glanced up at him, ‘they were awful. Every one of them, they were all against me.’

  ‘Don’t be silly.’

  ‘I’m not, Corny. It’s true; even me da.’

  ‘Your da against you!’ Corny jerked his head up and laughed.

  ‘I’m telling you. As for my mother, I wouldn’t have believed it. Even after she came to see you she made you out to be the golden boy.’

  Again Corny laughed. ‘Well, that’s a change,’ he said.

  ‘You should have seen the send-off she gave me when I came away. She was crying all over me. They all were, or nearly so. They were glad to see the back of me.’

  ‘Now, don’t you be silly.’ He took her chin in his hands and moved her head slowly back and forward. ‘They took the attitude they did because they knew I’m no use without you.’

  She lowered her lids, then muttered, ‘You mean, they knew I was no use without you.’

  ‘Well, let’s say forty-nine, fifty-one. But I know this much; they were all upset and they did their best to put things right. But it took Jimmy to do the thinking.’

  ‘Jimmy?’ She screwed up her eyes at him.

  ‘Yes. That tale about me selling out seemed to do the trick, didn’t it?’

  Mary Ann pulled herself upwards from him with a jerk and, with her two hands flat on his chest, she stared at him as she said, ‘You mean to say that was all a put-up job, you sent Jimmy?’

  ‘Oh no, no, no! Don’t let’s start. Now, let’s get this right…right from the beginning, from the word go. I knew nothing about it until
an hour ago.’

  Mary Ann was making small movements with her head. Then she asked softly, ‘You weren’t going to sell out to Mr Blenkinsop?’

  ‘No, I never dreamt of it. Now ask yourself, as if I would, getting this far, after all this struggle. No, it was his idea. He thought…well…’ Corny lowered his head and shook it. ‘He thought it might bring you back and try to prevent me doing anything silly.’

  Mary Ann brought one hand from Corny’s chest and put it across her mouth. ‘And I went to Mr Blenkinsop and…and asked him not to buy you out, and…Oh! Oh! I didn’t only see him, I…I first went to Bob Quinton. Oh, what will they think? They’ll think I’m batty.’

  ‘They’ll think nothing of the kind; they’ve been here.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Yes. Now don’t get het up. They wanted to know what it was all about. And that’s how I found out that Jimmy had been to you with this tale.’

  ‘Oh, wait till I see him.’

  ‘Now, now.’ He took hold of her by the shoulders and shook her gently. ‘Think, just think, if he hadn’t given you that yarn we might have gone on and on. There’s no telling. Anything could have happened…Mary Ann.’ He bent his head towards her. ‘I just don’t want to think about it; it frightens me; it frightens me still. I’m just going to be thankful that you’re back.’ He smiled softly at her; then added slowly, ‘And take mighty good care in the future—you don’t leave this house without me unless I have a chain attached to you.’

  He held her tightly; and as he stroked her hair he said, ‘And you won’t go for Jimmy?’

  She moved her face against him, and after a moment she said, ‘Fancy him thinking all that up.’

  ‘I’ve always told you that that lad has a head on his shoulders. There’s a lot goes on behind that silly-looking face of his. And he’s loyal, and that means a great deal these days. When things get going I’ll see he’s all right…You know, I could have kissed him this morning when he owned up to telling you that tale, and to know you still cared enough about me to stop me doing something silly.’

  Mary Ann gazed into his face, her own face serious now, as she said, ‘I’ve never stopped caring…Corny, promise me, promise me that if I ever forget about this time and what’s happened and I try to do anything stupid again, you’ll shake the life out of me, or box my ears.’

  ‘Box your ears?’ He pulled his chin in. ‘You try anything on, me lady, and I won’t stop at boxing your ears; I’ll take me granny’s advice and I’ll black your eyes. “You should have blacked her eyes,” she said.’

  ‘What! Your granny…she said that?’

  ‘She did. And much more.’

  ‘But, Corny, she…she was the only one who was on my side; she called you worse than dirt; she…Oh…Oh!’ Mary Ann bit on her lip to try and prevent herself from laughing. ‘The crafty old fox!’

  ‘Eeh, me granny!’ There was a look of wonderment on Corny’s face. ‘She’s wise, you know.’

  They began to laugh, their bodies pressed tight again, rocking backwards and forwards. They laughed, but their laughter was not merry; it was the kind of laughter one laughs after getting a fright, the laughter that gushes forth when the danger is past.

  Chapter Fourteen

  They’d had a meal; Mary Ann had cleaned up the house; she was now going to bake something nice for their tea; but before she started she felt she must have a word with Jimmy. She had just put the bread board and cooking utensils on the table near the window when she saw him crossing the yard with some pieces of wood in his arms. Quickly she tapped on the window and motioned to him that she wanted to see him. In a minute she was down the back stairs and in the yard, and there he was, waiting for her at the gate. She walked up to him slowly and looked at him for a second or so before saying, ‘You should take up writing short stories, Jimmy.’

  ‘Me! Short stories, Mrs Boyle? I couldn’t write, me spellin’s terrible.’

  ‘That doesn’t stop you telling the tale, does it?’ She looked up at him from under her eyelids.

  ‘Aw, that. Eeh! Well, I thought you would never come back. You see.’ He stooped and placed the wood against the railings; then, straightening up but still keeping his head bent, he gazed at his feet as he said, ‘You see, me mam and dad were separated for nearly a year once. Me mam always said it started over nothin’, and neither of them would give in. Both of them were at work, you see, and me dad was on the night shift and we hardly ever saw him. Ships that passed in the night, he said they were. And they had a row, and she walked out. There was only me at home, ’cos me only sister, she’s married. It was awful being in the house and nobody there, I mean no woman. I never forget that year, and so I felt a bit worried like about…about the boss and you.’

  ‘Aw, Jimmy, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. But I’m glad you got worried about us. Thanks…thanks a lot.’ She put out her hands and clasped his arms, bringing the colour flooding over his long face, and for a moment he was definitely embarrassed. Then, his natural humour coming to his aid, he slanted his gaze at her as he asked. ‘It’ll be all right for me to play me trombone then, Mrs Boyle?’

  She gave him a sharp push as she laughed. ‘You! That’s blackmail. Go on with you.’

  He was chuckling as he stooped to pick up the wood, and she looked down at him and said, ‘I might stand for your trombone wailing, but I’ll never stand for you having long hair like that crowd of yours.’

  ‘Aw.’ He straightened and jerked his head back. ‘Funny thing about that. Your dad got under Duke’s skin a bit. My! I thought for a minute there was goin’ to be a bust-up, but after we got back Duke began to talk about breakin’ the barrier with a new gimmick, and he came up with the idea of shavin’ their heads.’

  ‘No!’ Mary Ann was covering her face with her hands.

  ‘Aye, it’s a fact. He’s thinking of shaving up the sides and just leavin’ a rim over the top here’—he demonstrated to her—‘like a comb, you know, and callin’ us “The Cocks”.’

  ‘The Cocks!’ squeaked Mary Ann, still laughing.

  ‘Aye, that’s what he says.’

  ‘Why not shave the lot off and call yourselves “The Men”? That would break the sound barrier, at least among all the long-haired loonies…THE MEN!’ She wagged her finger up and down. ‘And underneath you could have “Versus the rest”.’

  ‘Eeh! you can think quick, can’t you, Mrs Boyle? That isn’t half bad. “The men…versus the rest”. I’ll tell him, I’ll tell him what you said.’

  ‘You do, Jimmy. Tell him I’ll put words to all his tunes if they all get their hair cut.’

  ‘Aye, I will.’

  ‘Jim-my!’

  ‘Eeh! That’s the boss bellowin’. I’ll get it in the neck.’ He turned from her and ran with the wood towards the back door of the garage, and, as he neared it, Rose Mary emerged and, seeing Mary Ann, came swiftly towards her, crying, ‘Mam! Mam! Wait a minute.’

  ‘Yes, dear?’ Mary Ann held out her arm and put it round Rose Mary and hugged her to her side as she looked down and listened to her saying, ‘Mam, it’s our David. He won’t do anythin’.’

  ‘Do anything? What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, he won’t play with me.’

  ‘Nonsense.’ Mary Ann pressed Rose Mary from her. ‘David won’t play with you? Of course he will. Where is he?’

  ‘He’s with me dad, under the car.’

  ‘Under the car?’

  ‘He wanted me to get under but I wouldn’t, and me dad said I hadn’t to anyway. Me dad told David to go and play on the old car with me, but he wouldn’t. He waited till me dad got under the car and he crawled under with him. And they were laughin’…and Jimmy an’ all.’

  Taking Rose Mary’s hand, Mary Ann said, ‘Come on,’ and with something of her old sprightliness, she marched towards the garage. David under a car! Thick with oil and grease! She had enough of that when she had Corny’s things to see to.

  Halfway up the garage, she saw Corny’s legs stick
ing out from beneath a car, and next to the legs were those of David. His buttocks, too, were also in sight as he was lying on his stomach.

  When she stood over the two pairs of legs she said, softly, ‘David, aren’t you going to play with Rose Mary?’

  She waited for a moment, and when no reply came she said sharply, ‘David!’

  There was a wriggle of the buttocks and David emerged, rolled onto his back, stared up at her and said, by way of enquiry, ‘Mam?’

  Mary Ann looked down at her grease and oil-smeared son. She wanted to grab him by the shoulders, yank him upstairs, take his clothes off and put him in the bath. She kept her voice calm as she said, ‘Aren’t you going to play with Rose Mary on the old car?’

  ‘No, Mam. Helpin’ Da-ad.’ He held up one hand to her, and in it was a spanner.

  Corny’s voice now came from under the car, saying, ‘Give it me here, the big one, the one with the wide handle. Then go and play with Rose Mary.’

  ‘No, Da-ad.’ David was again lying on his stomach, only his heels visible now, and his muffled voice came to Mary Ann and Rose Mary, saying, ‘No, Da-ad, don’t want to. This spinner?’

  Mary Ann waited for Corny to say something. He had stopped tapping with the hammer. She could imagine him lying on his back, his eyes tightly closed, biting on his lip as he realised a new situation had arisen, a new situation that she would have to face. And not only herself but Rose Mary also. Her little daughter would need to be helped to face it, helped to watch calmly this severed part of her making his own decisions, choosing his own pleasures, living his own life. She gripped Rose Mary’s hand tightly as she called in a light voice, her words addressed to her son but their meaning meant for her husband, ‘It’s all right. Rose Mary’s coming upstairs to help me bake something nice for tea…aren’t you, Rose Mary?’ She looked down into her daughter’s straight face. Then, bending swiftly down, she called under the car in a jocular fashion, ‘But don’t either of you dare to come up those stairs in that condition; I’ll bring a bucket of hot water down for you to get the thick of it off.’