Edgehill

by Thomas Rouxville

  “I heard her crying all last night,” Laguna said.

  Jermyn nodded. “I'm going to let her stay in bed today. She needs rest, desperately.” “And she won't talk about the nightmares?”

  “No. When I asked, she just cried. I am so worried about her, Laguna.” Laguna sighed. “I suppose I am too.”

  Athena looked around, wide awake, realizing her grandfather was gone. Sunlight flooded the room, making her want to shrink underneath the blankets. She waited for her grandmother's inevitable footsteps bounding up the stairs. The woman would run in at any second to yell at Athena. “Wake up, wake up, you've work to do!”

  But the footsteps did not come. Athena was left alone in utter silence. She lay back, smiling serenely. For the moment, there was tranquility. No nightmares. No chores. Just a warm, soft bed. Yet Athena knew it was only fleeting, because the nightmares would try to eat her again. Eventually, they'd devour her.

  When her grandfather appeared in the doorway, she waved. He was in his usual baker's uniform, covered head to toe in flour and dough. The faint smell of bread and sugar wafted from downstairs, causing Athena's stomach to grumble.

  “How are you, my child?” Jermyn asked. “Tired.”

  “Well, I'm going to bring you breakfast.” “Won't Grandmother get mad?”

  Jermyn winked. “Grandmother doesn't have to know.”

  A few minutes later, Jermyn entered the room with a plate full of cornbread and pancakes. “Eat up. Take your mind off the nightmares.”

  Athena thanked her grandfather through a mouthful of food.

  “Rest well,” Jermyn said, “If you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen.”

  Athena nodded, practically tearing into a pancake. She hadn't had much of an appetite for weeks, always too preoccupied with the nightmares, but she also knew how worried her grandparents were.

  She was withering away right in front of them, and they couldn't do anything to help. She had to get better.

  Go away nightmares, Athena thought over and over again. Just go away. Leave me alone. She stared at the ceiling for a while before deciding it'd be best to get up. Her grandparents needed help. They were aging and slowing down, with work becoming harder for them. No matter how tired Athena was, she had to contribute.

  After changing her clothing, Athena went downstairs with her now-empty plate.

  “Ah, you ate it all!” Jermyn praised her. “You worked up quite an appetite, excellent!”

  “I'm trying to be stronger,” Athena said, attempting to stand as tall and straight as she could. “I'm not going to let the nightmares get in my way.”

  Jermyn patted her on the back. “You're the strongest person I know,” he said.

  The day wore on and Athena stifled her yawns, trying to do as much work as she could, trying to distract herself from the impending night. She even did everything her grandmother asked her to, without so much as a complaint.

  “Perhaps you're an efficient worker after all,” Laguna said.

  Athena tried to smile, but as she watched the sun set and the moon rise, fear began to take hold. “May I stay up tonight, Grandmother?”

  Laguna shook her head. “Of course not. Early to bed, early to rise. I let you sleep in today, but don't think it'll be a common occurrence.”

  I don't want to sleep, Athena thought. She turned away from her grandmother and hobbled up the stairs as slowly as possible. Perhaps if she preoccupied herself with work, if she immersed herself in it, she'd become so tired that she would fall into a deep, peaceful sleep, with happy dreams instead of nightmares.

  As Athena settled into her bed, hoping for at least one good night, she began to think of her parents. Her grandfather's eyes reminded her of her mother. They reminded her of how much she missed her mother. “Why did my parents’ lives end?” Athena asked suddenly, as her grandfather tucked her in.

  Jermyn didn't look directly at her. “They perished in a flood far away from here, in a different part of the kingdom, a place you've never been.”

  “Mummy had your eyes,” Athena said. “She was nice, just like you.” Jermyn smiled. “She was very nice. Your father was too.”

  “I miss them.”

  “I miss them too.”

  “I hope they like heaven.”

  Jermyn stood up. “I'm sure they love it, my child. And they love you.”

  Athena closed her eyes. “I'm going to think of them. Maybe Mummy can protect me from the nightmares.”

  With faint memories of a life that seemed so long ago, Athena drifted to sleep. She saw her mother's eyes and her father's smile. They walked hand in hand on a shaded path under autumn trees as Athena skipped far ahead of them. “Don't go too far!” her mother called.

  The path vanished, then the trees, and finally Athena's parents. Her mother's words echoed, and the Athena in the memory began to cry, darkness enveloping her.

  Athena jolted awake. Not even her parents could protect her from the nightmares. She had to face them alone. She had to survive through them. But I am getting so tired.

  Moonlight illuminated the bedroom, making shadows across the walls. Athena dove underneath her covers, shivering. She just wanted this night to end.

  As the hours ticked by, Athena wouldn't allow herself to fall asleep. She fidgeted under the sheets, keeping herself occupied by thinking. She kept thinking of her parents, trying to remember all of the happy memories. She thought of the bakery and the sweets that she'd someday be perfect at baking. She thought of everything that could distract her from the eventual terror. The inevitable terror.

  Staying awake was impossible; Athena succumbed to her exhaustion, sinking into her pit of nightmares.

  Chapter 3

  The next day, Athena rolled out of bed, her hair messy and eyes red from crying and lack of sleep. She dragged herself to the kitchen, head throbbing. Her brain was telling her she needed rest, real rest. But Athena didn't know how to rest. The nightmares controlled her.

  She didn't speak as she took a few bites of toast. Laguna and Jermyn glanced at her worriedly, but they were silent as well. Athena pushed her plate away and went outside, still wearing a nightgown, hair still unkempt, and face unwashed.

  “Well, don't you look miserable,” a voice said. Athena looked up, her cat jumping out of her arms. “Woke up on the wrong side of the bed I see.” Athena frowned. “Who are you?”

  “The name's Tobin.” The boy called Tobin reached his hand out towards Athena. She shrunk backward.

  Tobin smiled crookedly, and his blue eyes glinted mischievously, but he somehow managed to look warm and inviting. His hand dangled in front of Athena, but she didn't take it, deciding to study him for a moment instead. He finally took his hand back, awkwardly reaching up to smooth his sandy blond hair.

  “I'm Athena,” she said, standing up. “So what's wrong, Athena?”

  “Nothing at all,” she answered.

  “I don't mean to be rude, but you look very... messy.” “That's absolutely rude!” Athena said, but she was smiling. “May I shake your hand?”

  Athena held her hand out, and Tobin took it.

  “Tobin!” a woman called, walking out of the bakery. “It's time to go home!”

  Tobin shrugged. “I live just outside of Edgehill, on a farm. Maybe I'll see you at school after the harvest!”

  “Maybe,” Athena said.

  Tobin laughed. “I know you're dying to see me again.” “Maybe,” Athena's lips curled into a sly smile. “Bye, Tobin.” “Farewell, Athena.”

  Athena ran into the bakery. “I've made a friend,” she proclaimed to her grandparents.

  “Ah, Tobin is a good boy. His parents give us vegetables in exchange for bread,” Jermyn said. “They're hard workers,” Laguna added. “Maybe Tobin can teach you a thing or two.”

  For a while, Athena was able to put the nightmares at the back of her mind. Her first school year began, a brand-new distraction. The local school was filled with
children of all ages, from the town of Edgehill and the surrounding villages and farms. Athena had seen children running around the streets before, but never had she seen all of them sitting together in one room.

  Athena looked for Tobin every day, counting down the time until the harvest was over. When he finally showed up, a smudge of dirt across his face, Athena grinned. She ran up to her new friend, shaking his hand excitedly.

  Tobin was blushing. “Hello Athena,” he said nervously. His hair was unruly, and his clothing was old and worn, but his eyes still glinted. “You look like a girl today,” he said.

  “Did I not look like a girl before?” Athena was wearing one of her nicer dresses, one that wasn't full of cat hair. Her hair was tied up into a bun, not one strand hanging over her face. Laguna insisted that ladies did not go around with their hair practically in their eyes, though Athena argued that when her hair was up, her ears got cold.

  “You looked like a girl before. But today, you look extra girlish.”

  “Like a lady?” Athena curtsied, laughing. Tobin bowed. “No. Ladies are boring.”

  “So who should I look like?”

  “You should look like Athena, because that's who you are,” Tobin answered. “And you should wipe the dirt off your face,” Athena said.

  Tobin and Athena quickly grew close, becoming best friends. Every day, Tobin waited for Athena at the bakery early in the morning to walk with her to school. They were inseparable, always playing together, running around, even venturing out into the forest.

  Eventually, they began to spend almost all of their free time in the forest, amongst the trees and meadows of flowers. The forest was the most peaceful place in Edgehill, and to Athena, who had never been away from Edgehill, it was the most wonderful place in the kingdom of Galbar. It was the one place where she could be herself, free from the expectations of her grandmother, free from household chores and schoolwork, and best of all, free from the nightmares.

  “Can I tell you something?” Athena asked Tobin one day, sitting deep in the forest. She had known Tobin for years but had never confided in him. He knew something plagued her, but he didn't ask about it, not since the first day they had met.

  Now Tobin sat across from her in their favorite spot, a little clearing where a patch of sunlight illuminated the grass. Tobin fiddled with a leaf, trying to get it to sail on non-existent wind. He was a year older than Athena, fourteen now, and had to spend more and more time helping his family on the farm. He was often just as tired as Athena, though it was from hard labor instead of endless nightmares.

  “Tell me what?” he asked, concentrating on his leaf. He was tanned from long days out in the fields, and his hair was so bleached it looked like snow.

  Athena sighed. “I've been having nightmares.” Tobin looked at her.

  “For as long as I can remember.” “That explains it,” Tobin said. “Explains what?”

  Tobin laughed. “You're always yawning. Always tired. I've always known something was wrong, but I figured you would tell me when you wanted.”

  “It used to be worse,” Athena said. “When we first met, I was hardly sleeping at all. I've learned to cope, but they still won't go away.”

  “What are the nightmares about?”

  “The most irritating part is that I can't remember.” Athena swatted at a fly that was buzzing incessantly by her ear.

  “But you have them every night?” “Every night.”

  Tobin looked at her concernedly, just like her grandparents always did. “Don't pity me,” Athena said.

  “I don't pity you,” Tobin said, genuinely. “I emphasize with you.” “You don't even know what that word means,” Athena laughed.

  “Hey, just because I'm not always at school doesn't mean I'm not studying.” Tobin nudged Athena's arm. “I'm sorry that you have to suffer, Athena.” “I'm not suffering,” Athena said, “I'm strong.” Tobin smiled, “The strongest person I know.”

  Athena remembered when her grandfather had said those words so long ago. She tried to be strong, but most often she felt weak. Just because she was learning how to handle the nightmares didn't mean she was feeling any better. She wanted to know why her nightmares made her feel miserable. Why did they completely drain her? What could she possibly be dreaming about?

  “I'm strong enough to beat you to the bakery,” Athena said to Tobin, already standing up.

  They raced to the bakery, neither mentioning the nightmares again. Athena barely managed to beat Tobin, gasping for breath; her skirt was torn, and her hair had managed to untie itself. “Grandmother's going to be mad,” she breathed.

  “When is she not?” Yet Tobin seemed to be trying to make himself look more presentable, tucking in his shirt and putting a cap on to hide his sweaty head. He held open the door, waiting for Athena to go in first. She shook her head.

  Tobin sighed, finally marching into the bakery, breaking into a fake smile at the sight of Laguna, who was already seething.

  “Look at you, how filthy the two of you are!”

  Athena hid behind Tobin, who unfortunately hadn't hit his growth spurt yet. “Sorry Ma'am,” Tobin mumbled.

  “Athena, how many times do I have to tell you, ladies do not run around the forest! You disappoint me over and over again!”

  Where was Jermyn? He'd surely come to rescue Athena like he did nearly every day. He was understanding and kind. He treated Athena like a human being while her grandmother treated her like she was worthless. At least, that's the way Athena saw it. No matter how many times Laguna said, “I love you,” Athena wouldn't believe it.

  Sure enough, just as Athena expected, her grandfather burst from the kitchen, a fresh loaf of bread in his arms. “Tobin, good to see you! Would you mind helping me lift some sacks of flour? I'm getting too old, I'm afraid.”

  Laguna rolled her eyes. “Athena, go wash up, change your clothes, and take this to Tobin's family later.” She pointed at a fresh loaf of bread sitting on the counter. Athena nodded, winked at her grandfather, waved at Tobin, and started to bound up the stairs.

  “Walk,” Laguna yelled, “don't run!”

  Athena sighed and walked as lady-like as she was possibly capable of up the stairs. She could hear Tobin laughing behind her.

  Time went on and Athena continued to grow older. She began to wear her hair down, letting it fall just below her shoulders. She wore plain dresses, ones that were easy to run around in without overly upsetting Laguna.

  Athena's life was simple and mostly pleasant. Her parents were distant memories; all she remembered were flashes of smiles and laughter. Occasionally she still wondered about them, wanting to know about their deaths, but when she thought about it too much she realized that it hurt. Her parents had died a painful death, and it was better not to imagine it. It was better that she only thought of good memories.

  Besides, Athena was happy with her grandparents, and Tobin's parents. They were all family to her, all important, and all alive. She didn't get along with Laguna, but she at least respected the woman for taking her in.

  The only negative aspect of Athena's life was her nightmares, but even they had faded into the background. By the age of sixteen, Athena was able to get through an entire night without crying.

  She was happy, and there was nothing more she could ask for. Everything was okay.

  “Hey, Athena!” Tobin was outside, waving his arms. He had finally hit his growth spurt and was over half a foot taller than Athena.

  “The sun's not even up!” Athena whispered, looking out her window.

  “I haven't seen you in weeks,” Tobin said. “Let's go into the woods before I have to work.” Athena smirked. “Would my grandmother approve?”

  “Definitely not,” Tobin answered.

  Athena grabbed her shawl and tiptoed down the stairs, sneaking past her grandparents’ room. They were both sound asleep. The bakery wouldn't open for at least three more hours.

  When Athena successful
ly closed the bakery door behind her, she hugged her friend. Tobin was seventeen years old, nearly an adult. Already, he was terribly busy. Weeks would go by without Athena even hearing from him. He worked from dawn to dusk, during harvest and planting seasons. The rest of the year, he tried to find time for school, but his family demanded much of him. Tobin had missed entire years of school, but he was no less intelligent than anyone else. Athena sometimes read with him in the forest, and if he ever needed help understanding something, she was there for him. He was her best friend, and she would never let him down.

  “I've missed you,” Tobin said, slowly pulling away. “How's work?” Athena asked.

  “It's been hard, tougher than usual.” Tobin took Athena's hand, walking with her towards the forest. “Some of the hired hands on the farm have left. They've been summoned to the castle town, leaving me and my brothers to do most of the work.”

  “Summoned for what?”

  Tobin shook his head. “I've no idea. I hear rumors every once and while from travelers, about shadows spreading over the kingdom or something like that, but nothing is certain.”

  Athena looked at the sun coming over the horizon. The sky was orange and red, making her think of fire. “Do you think something is happening, Tobin? Something bad?”

  “I don't know Athena, but it's better not to think about it. We're both busy enough as it is.” “Right,” Athena said, but she began to wonder. She saw no shadows, no darkness, only a vibrant sky, but she certainly felt darkness, every single night.

  Chapter 4

  “Happy birthday!” Jermyn hugged his granddaughter, bringing her a plate topped with a gigantic cake.

  Athena was eighteen years old. An adult. She was excited yet terrified. Most women were married by the time they were twenty-two. By thirty, they often had several children. Athena was not against a life of raising children, but it didn't seem to suit her. She couldn't picture herself as a mother. She could hardly picture herself as a wife. Athena craved adventure. Housewives didn't do very much adventuring.