The Doctor's Nanny

by Ivy James

  She knew it, he knew it, but she wasn’t ready to admit it yet. And that was fine with him. For now. He wasn’t quite sure how to react to the situation himself since, until now, he’d never found himself contemplating more than a casual affair.

  Having played the field since his teens, he knew his fascination with Megan was more than a passing fancy. But with her focus on making amends with Jenn and his on getting appointed chief, where did that leave them? Better yet, where did that leave Simon?

  Every day Ethan fell more and more behind at work, but a part of him didn’t care because he was growing so frustrated at the time he was required to spend away from his family.

  His family. He liked the sound of that.

  “So have you heard any news from the board?” His father seated himself on the stool and grabbed the remote control from the table, turning up the sound to be heard over the cracking of billiard balls. The game room in the basement of his parents’ house was filled with his male cousins and brothers, everyone hanging out and waiting to be called to the table.

  “Not yet.” He inhaled and sighed, his thoughts shifting to all the work that awaited him both on his dining room table at home and his desk at the hospital. It had been one thing to sit and shift piles of paper when his leg was still healing and he couldn’t stand for the required hours, but it was another thing to be well and able to perform surgery but not have the time due to the administrative requirements of the job.

  His father’s gaze narrowed, an astute frown bringing his bushy eyebrows low over his forehead. “Megan and Simon seem to be doing well together.”

  “They are. Megan’s worked wonders with him. Simon’s speaking more English every day.”

  “I heard.” A pregnant pause filled the air. “Makes a pretty picture. The boy clings to her like she’s his mama. Strange that he doesn’t seem to do that as much with you.”

  “Direct hit.” A make-believe explosion filled the air from the electronic Battleship game his young cousins played on the floor nearby.

  The irony wasn’t lost on Ethan. “We’re still adjusting.”

  “A child needs his father.” Alan channel surfed, changing the station from a recap of the Macy’s parade to the lead-up to a bowl game. “Your mother and I are taking another cruise soon. I’ve decided to take that early retirement I’ve been talking about for so long. Just going to do it rather than drag it out forever. The cruise is to celebrate. We’ve always wanted to travel and we’re not getting any younger.”

  “Mom will like that.”

  His father nodded his agreement. “Finally making the decision got me to thinking about all the things I missed when you kids were growing up.”

  And here we go. “I didn’t mean to miss the game, Dad. Something came up and I couldn’t leave. Besides, I’ve taken Simon off the roster for the season. I had him signed up for too much.”

  “Figured that out, did you?”

  A flush crept up his neck. “Megan pointed it out.” That, and a lot more. But he’d opened himself up to what she’d told him and was attempting to repair the damage. “Guess a part of me was trying to help Simon forget everything he’s been through by keeping him too busy to think.”

  “I’m glad you figured out it doesn’t work that way. But back to the game. I never meant to miss the games or plays or events, either, but I did. Sometimes it can’t be helped, and it’s the price we pay to do what we do. But you need to know it’s not the same, viewing everything through pictures and video after the fact. Just mentioning it, in case you might want to rethink taking on more responsibility.”

  Rethink it? “You mean being chief?”

  His father lifted a hand to where Simon and Matt played in the far corner. A pile of Lincoln Logs was scattered on the floor between them.

  “That goes by much too fast. I’m ashamed to say I barely remember you at that age because I was home so rarely. It’s one of my biggest regrets.”

  One he had no intention of making with Simon. He just had to figure out a way of juggling it all.

  That’ll require more than day care or a nanny.

  Ethan frowned at the thought, but it was true. And who better to help him at home than a wife?

  His gaze immediately shifted to Megan. After introducing her to everyone, she’d accompanied Simon to the basement to play, hovering over him more than normal, and obviously nervous over being there, given her situation with Jenn.

  His gaze narrowed. Life with Megan would be chaos and mess and sassy comebacks. Great sex. Constant tension, because she and Jenn didn’t get along. Tenderness.

  “Just something to think about. When the time comes, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for everyone.”

  Ah, but there was the kicker—what was the right decision? Megan trusted him up to a point, but not completely. The job he wanted and had worked his whole career to get meant longer hours and little family time. And Simon…The boy was doing better but they still had a long way to go before they were comfortable together, as his father had pointed out.

  How did he know the right decision to make when he couldn’t see the forest for the trees?

  The pager on his belt went off first, then his cell phone began to ring. Ethan winced when he spotted the number and code on the face. Damn. Another holiday biting the dust.

  “Drive safe, son. And don’t forget about what I said.”

  “I will, if you don’t let Garret eat all the turkey.”

  Chapter 18

  JENN SET THE BOX she carried on the sofa table and pulled off the lid, but the moment she saw Megan enter the room she made a face. “Shouldn’t you be watching Simon?”

  Megan was in the mood for a fight so she planted herself in front of the exit. “He’s fine.”

  “I don’t need the stress right now, okay, Megs?”

  Megan looked closely at Jenn’s face, noting her extreme paleness. “Something wrong?”

  Jenn tossed the box lid aside. “Yeah, you’re here. And you keep calling my house.”

  “Return my calls and I’ll stop. I’m not after your husband,” she said, careful that her voice didn’t carry to the other room. Not that anyone would venture into the sunroom with her and Jenn inside it.

  “Thank God for small favors. However, since you are obviously sleeping with Ethan, you’re up to your old tricks. You don’t ever think of anyone but yourself, do you?”

  Hurt lanced deep. When they’d first arrived she’d made a point to avoid close contact with Ethan in an attempt at discretion. But after Ethan’s return from the hospital, he’d followed her around like a guilty puppy and for good reason. Some hospital emergency. Since when did bringing a beautiful woman home to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving qualify as an emergency?

  “Why are you letting a very young, very traumatized little boy get attached to you? It’s not fair to him. How dare you.”

  Forced into the moment, she sighed. She’d thought of that, worried about it, but had hoped things would work out for the best. At the very least she’d figured things would be okay until whatever was between her and Ethan had run its course.

  What an idiot she’d been for thinking she and Ethan would last longer than a week. He brought another woman. Another woman!

  You can’t complain. You’re the one who made a big deal about keeping things casual. In guy-speak that means Ethan is free to do as he pleases.

  But it pissed her off. What kind of arrogant jerk would bring two women to Thanksgiving dinner? What, was he starting a harem? “I wouldn’t hurt Simon for anything.” Ethan on the other hand…

  “You will hurt him. The longer you stay, the worse it will be. And what about Ethan? Megan, he’s your boss.”

  She pictured the exotic-looking woman in the other room. If Ethan’s gesture didn’t serve to tell Megan exactly where she stood in his life, nothing would. Such a jerk!

  She tried and failed to ignore the flood of pain pouring through her. She wanted to leave but didn’t have a way off the m
ountaintop home short of stealing a car. That wasn’t out of the realm of possibility at this point, but if Jenn had her way, the cops would be called and Megan wasn’t going to jail over a stupid man. “Stop worrying. Ethan will no doubt marry someone like her,” she said with what she hoped was a breezy, uncaring, screw-him—oh, wait, I already did—wave of her hand toward the door. “They’ll be nice and boring and—and neat together.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that, dear.” Ethan’s grandmother, Rosetta, entered the room, carrying another ornament box. Dressed all in black with sparkly earrings and a splashy wrap in pumpkin-orange silk, she looked classy and beautiful.

  Like Dr. Portia Lucca. What kind of name was Portia, anyway? It was a freaking car.

  “I do believe Dr. Lucca is all alone for the holiday. I’m sure that’s why Ethan invited her to join us. I don’t believe there is anything going on between them.”

  She didn’t care. She really didn’t. It wasn’t like they could have a real relationship, anyway, not unless she came clean and finally told him the truth about Sean. But why put herself through the humiliation when Ethan had obviously already grown bored? He might be able to fool his Grammi but he wasn’t fooling her!

  A smile formed on Rosetta’s lips, the color a deeper, richer pumpkin than her wrap. “As to whom Ethan will marry, I personally think he’s drawn to someone more…lively. As well he should be. He needs someone who’ll loosen him up a bit, especially now that he has Simon to care for. They both returned from Niger very much in need of someone who cares for them and understands them, someone fun.” Rosetta handed the box to Jenn. “And wouldn’t it be wonderful if Ethan could find love like you and Nick? Someone who makes him and Simon both smile?”

  Her sister paled even more, her bottom lip quivering. “It would be nice, but it would be a mistake if you’re considering Megan.”

  “Jenn.” It was a whispered plea for her sister not to air her sordid past to Ethan’s grandmother. At least not now. Besides, Rosetta couldn’t have meant her.

  Rosetta gave her a friendly smile. “Don’t be afraid, dear. Just believe. Things work out in ways you least expect them to if you have faith. Plans have been known to change.” Rosetta faced Jenn once more and patted Jenn’s hand where she held the box. “People change. We need to remember that. Now, girls, it’s Thanksgiving, a time of peace, harmony and forgiveness. I do believe you both have a lot to be thankful for, and it’s time for you two to stop acting like children and get along.”

  Neither of them responded.

  Megan stared at Jenn, wishing for the impossible. Jenn, Ethan, Simon. Today wasn’t her day to be thankful, because everything she ever wanted was slipping through her fingers.

  Rosetta sighed. “Megan, would you help me sort through some of the ornaments while we wait on the turkey to finish cooking?”

  ETHAN WATCHED as Megan and Gram walked away and noted Jenn blinked away tears. “For what it’s worth, I think she’s sincere.”

  Jenn froze in the act of getting an ornament out of the box. Ethan walked deeper into the room but she ignored him. Several of the ornaments were in need of hooks, and she busied herself by finding them, blinking rapidly all the while. He gave her time to compose herself by moving to the box and plucking the ornaments out of the sectioned cardboard, handing them to her silently. “Do you really hate her so much?”

  She sniffled. “I don’t like her and I don’t trust her. If you cared for someone and found out Nick betrayed you, you’d feel the same way.”

  “I guess I would. It does take a pretty nasty person to do what she did to you.”

  “She’s not nasty, she’s just…immature.”

  “So you do hate her.”

  “I love Meg—” She broke off and turned to him, catching on to his game. “Mind your own business.”

  “Tell me why you can’t forgive her.”

  “I have.”

  “Then what’s the problem? Come on, do you really think she’s after Nick? Surely you know better than that.”

  She lifted her chin to a haughty angle. “Nick would have nothing to do with her—and she’s sleeping with you.”

  “So you’re keeping her at a distance because…?”

  This time no amount of blinking could keep the tears at bay, and they trickled over her cheeks, making him hope Nick didn’t come into the room and pummel him for making Jenn cry.

  “Because…maybe because I don’t want to find out if she’d do it again. It’s easier this way.”

  So Jenn still had her doubts. “Easier, huh?” Ethan pulled her into a one-armed hug. “Easier wouldn’t leave you crying. You’re already hurting. Maybe if you listened to her side of things. Just saying,” he said when she stiffened, “maybe you’d realize of the two of you, your big sister is the weaker one.”

  She snorted. “Not likely. Ethan, that statement proves that she’s snowed you. She’s trouble and you’re falling for it.”

  “Spunk and attitude can hide a lot of fear.” He wiped away a tear with his fingertip. “So can pride. Haven’t you ever wondered what she’s trying so hard to hide?”

  MEGAN FOLLOWED Ethan into the house, her arms full of leftovers, her mind full of doubts and fears, a boatload of anger and way too many insecurities. Lord have mercy, what a day.

  After Rosetta’s order to get along, Jenn had reluctantly made an effort and while the conversation didn’t exactly flow, when the others entered the room to decorate the family tree, she and Jenn had managed to stand next to each other without running for cover.

  As to Ethan and his date—

  “Don’t move. I’ll put Simon to bed and then we need to talk.”

  A shiver of want went through her at the look on his face and, even though she told herself to ignore him and go to bed—locking the door, of course—the rebel in her who’d taken Rosetta’s words to heart wouldn’t let her good-girl wannabe run. He owed her an explanation and running meant taking the easy way out. Either she wanted to take a chance with Ethan or not. Was she interested in him? In staying?

  Megan made her way into the kitchen without turning on the light and piled the containers into the fridge, wondering how this house had become home so fast.

  The truth had hit her tonight when she’d sat across the dinner table from Ethan and Simon and watched them interact. The wave of possession that had swept over her had taken her breath and made her want to scratch Portia’s eyes out. Simon and Ethan were hers. They’d burrowed into her heart and taken root, healed the broken pieces of her soul and made her want and dream of so much more. But that meant she had to fight for what she wanted. Was she ready to do that?

  One thing’s for sure, you’re tired of running.

  But who knew what Ethan felt?

  You haven’t given him a chance to tell you. You’ve shut him down every time he’s tried to get close.

  And then he’d appeared with Dr. Lucca. She had sat at the opposite end of the table talking with Alan and Marilyn Tulane during dinner, and Ethan hadn’t seemed to mind. In fact, he’d seemed relieved. But what did that mean? Ugh, why were men so confusing!

  But even if—and it was a big if—Ethan wasn’t interested in the gorgeous doctor, where did it leave her? Staying meant taking a chance. She’d just have to hope that when Ethan learned what she’d put up with, allowed Sean to do by living as his wife for years, Ethan would want her anyway.

  And if not?

  Simon’s finger-painted pictures and coloring book pages were displayed on the refrigerator door—something Ethan had managed to ignore, even though she knew it killed him that it looked so messy. But the manic cleaning at three o’clock in the morning had stopped—partly because she liked to distract him with other things, and because she loved making love to him and helping him forget Niger and all that had happened.

  Megan lifted her hand and traced her fingers over the globs of dried paint on Simon’s handprint turkey, each of his fingers a different color. Beside that was a crayon drawing of the thre
e of them. Ethan and Simon and her, just like a family.

  The knot that formed in her stomach cut off her air supply. Like a real family. Was Jenn right? With her future so undecided, was it fair of her to let Simon get close?

  Don’t be afraid, just believe.

  Rosetta’s words sounded in her head, repeating several times. Megan shook them away. Ethan had brought someone else to the dinner. A date. She could ignore the cleaning to some extent, she could ignore a lot of things, but she couldn’t ignore that.

  He didn’t drive her home. Garret and Darcy drove her home since they were headed in that direction.

  Oh, get over yourself already. That doesn’t mean Portia isn’t interested in Ethan—or him in her. They could be doin’ it in the on-call rooms.

  You either trust him or you don’t.

  And wasn’t it all about trust?

  “Shut up, shut up. You’re going in circles. Just confront him. What’s he going to do?” She laid her forehead against the cool refrigerator. “Beat you?” she whispered under her breath. “Been there, done that.”

  “Do you always talk to yourself?”

  Megan whipped around at the sound of Ethan’s voice. Had he heard her?

  Knees weak, she leaned against the fridge, taking in Ethan’s casual dress—khaki pants and a long-sleeved shirt—his rugged, seriously handsome face.

  Some men were violent. Not Ethan. No, he’d never hurt her or Simon, and if she wanted Ethan, she had to be a grown-up and voice her thoughts and fears and give him the chance to refute them. If she wanted this chance, she had to take it, not push it away.

  “Megan, I want you to listen to me and listen good. Portia was not a date.”

  “I know. She was alone at the hospital, so you invited her for dinner.” She nodded her understanding, sarcastic though it was.

  “Exactly. If she were a date, I would’ve taken her home.”

  “Maybe.”

  “No, not maybe. She wasn’t a date—” he hesitated slightly “—but I’d be lying if I said we were no more than colleagues.”