Before he could even process why seeing Tristan happy pleased him so much, his name was called, and he realized he should pay attention to the conversations going on around him.
He faced the source of his name and noticed a serious look on Sonya’s face.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
“Mom was just asking about the surgery,” Teo replied.
“Oh! What would you like to know, Sonya?”
She looked from Tristan to Emma, then Samantha before responding, “I would never try and talk you out of the surgery, son. Never. I just met this little miss,” she said, patting Emma’s head tenderly. “And I can’t wait to see her grow up. See how much of Shannon she has in her.”
Immediately Nathaniel wanted to censure Sonya for mentioning Shannon in reference to Emma. Both he and Tristan agreed they wouldn’t talk about stuff like that with little ears listening. But before he did, he looked over at Emma who was too engrossed in the coloring book someone must have given her, and Samantha. Gosh, how much had he missed lost in his own world? And decided against it.
“But Tristan is as much my child as Teo and Mariana, and a mother worries. I guess I just want some information on the surgery,” Sonya said, emotion making her choke up.
Nathaniel could relate. Emma was his child, and he was absolutely terrified of her going under the knife. He still had flashes of her in the hospital fighting the adenovirus, and they haunted his sleep. The thought of his little girl being cut open made him want to curl up in a ball and cry.
“Do you mind if we put the kids to bed before we carry on with this conversation?” Tristan said.
Nathaniel agreed with him and called for his nanny to come take the kids.
Tristan turned to Samantha. “Bitsy bug, can you go with Emma and her nanny to bed? Daddy will come give you good-night kisses once he gets upstairs.” Samantha nodded. She took Emma’s hand in hers, and they walked around the table as she said good night to her grandparents and uncles. They all treated Emma exactly the same as Samantha, letting her kiss them on the cheek and saying good night after giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Samantha didn’t let go of Emma’s hand as they walked in with the nanny. And wasn’t that just the cutest thing ever? He shared a look with Tristan. It looked like the man agreed.
The poor nanny almost had to forcibly pry Wyatt out of Sonya’s arms. Sonya hugged the kid like she never wanted to let him go. Teo noticed his mother’s behavior and said, “Give up the kid, Mom. I’m sure Nathaniel will let you come to visit anytime you feel like baby time.”
“It would be my pleasure, Sonya. Come anytime. I’ll leave instructions to let you in whenever.” That seemed to pacify her because she finally let go of his son and handing him over to Ms. Bea, the elderly nanny he’d had since before he came home with Emma.
With the kids gone, a somber mood descended. Surgery was no small thing, and this was major surgery. “So Nate, could you just talk us through the surgery a little bit. I know it won’t change anything. But knowing what to expect might help my anxiety.”
“Mom, could you ask before you give the guy a nickname,” Teo said before Nathaniel could even process being called Nate. “He may not like it.”
“NO!” he said louder than was necessary. Everyone startled, looking at him like he was a few cans short of a six-pack
“I meant no. It’s fine. Nate is fine! I mean Sonya can call me Nate,” he said, getting even more flustered with all eyes on him.
He looked at Sonya directly. “It’s fine.”
She smiled a small smile like she knew how much it meant to him. No one had ever given him a nickname or even shortened his name in affection. At least that’s where he hoped the Nate came from.
“So, uh yeah. The surgery is scheduled for a week from Monday. We have just less than ten days from tomorrow.” He gave the information while hoping they got over his emotional outbursts without commenting.
“So soon?” Sonya said, fiddling with the fork she had set aside a while ago. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
“Yeah, the doctor, Tristan, and I decided against waiting. We all wanna see Emma better and back to hundred percent, you know.”
He saw Sonya nodding and continued, “In the case of live donors, the patients are in adjacent surgical rooms. Since Tristan is donating to a child and not an adult, the smaller left lobe of his liver will be what is removed. It amounts to only about twenty percent.
“Obviously, there’s always the risk of complications during any surgery and after, but it is slightly less, as less of the liver is being removed.”
“The care team is one of the best,” he tried to assure the table. “I looked into them extensively.” He didn’t go into just how extensively. “They make the decision about how much and which part of the liver to use carefully to ensure that neither patients’ health is put at greater risk. The doctor emphasized this to us.”
“The surgery requires general anesthesia and a large abdominal incision. The more strenuous the surgery, the longer it takes you to recover. That was one of the reasons I invited Tristan to stay here with us,” he told them.
“We’ll take good care of him... them. I meant them, Sonya. I promise.”
She looked at him closely and consideringly for a few seconds longer than was comfortable. He wondered what she saw that made her nod. “You will, won’t you.” And it wasn’t a question.
She must have seen something that convinced her. He so wasn’t going to ask what it was.
“The surgery is between six to twelve hours depending on how everything goes once they get in there. Also, there’s only minimal scarring, but Tristan has restrictions on activities and lifting to avoid a hernia and any other complications.”
“You’ll be ready for mankini season,” Lain teased Tristan.
Tristan flipped him the bird. “I’m always mankini ready. Have you seen these abs?” The man lifted his T-shirt, showing said abs.
Nathaniel could swear he lost ten IQ points in that moment. He followed every dip and ridge of the bare torso gaping at Tristan before catching himself while praying no one noticed.
But as usual, he wasn’t that lucky. He saw Sonya staring at him for a second before winking. Yup. Somebody just shoot him. He wanted to die of mortification. He was lusting after Tristan in the presence of his mother. Somebody shoot him now and put him out of his misery.
Nathaniel cleared his throat, hoping that would clear the images of him licking down those abs. Down to that pleasure trail. All the way to the treasure hidden beneath that sexy as fuck V. God he was a sucker for a defined V on a man.
“Liver donors don’t typically have any serious long-term complications. Mostly because the liver is one of the body’s organs with the ability to regenerate. After giving part of your liver, it will eventually grow back close to its original size. The most rapid regeneration occurs in the first six weeks after surgery. During this time, the liver typically returns to about eighty percent of its original size. Growth will continue for up to a year at which point the liver should return to about ninety percent of its original size.”
He knew he sounded like a bloody pamphlet, but lusting after Tristan had fried his composure.
“Uhh, and he’ll be as closely monitored as Emma,” he assured everyone. “They take donor care very seriously.”
“I feel much better after all that. Thank you, Nathaniel. It looks like you’ve done your homework. It helps. Even though I won’t feel one hundred percent okay till they’re both out of surgery,” Sonya added looking at Tristan with so much love and affection, Nathaniel couldn’t help but be envious.
“Anyway, we should be going,” Ben said, looking at Sonya. “I’m sure you’ll see a lot of Sonya in the coming months.”
All the guys echoed they were leaving too.
He and Tristan walked them to the front door, escorting them out. They all gave Tristan a hug and him a handshake. Except for Sonya. She engulfed him in what he w
as coming to think of as Mom hugs.
27
Tristan
Living with Nathaniel turned out not to be a hardship for Tristan. Sure, there were a few awkward moments, but that was expected for first-time housemates. Also, there was the whole how to co-parent terrain to navigate.
In the past few days, he had been wrapping things up at work for the next two to three months. He would be out of commission for a while. So he’d made sure his major clients for those months were informed and placated as necessary. Luckily he had very, very reliable employees and an excellent manager. He didn’t have to worry, even though he knew he would.
He wasn’t ready to admit it yet, but leaving Samantha with Nathaniel wasn’t a hardship. He’d always trusted Layla implicitly, but somewhere along the way, he started seeing Nathaniel as Samantha’s dad too, and leaving her with him while going to work felt right.
He wasn’t even willing to go into how nice it felt coming home to Nathaniel’s, knowing the man was there waiting for him. A few times, he’d almost called out “honey, I’m home” but had stopped himself just in time.
He usually wasn’t great at sleeping in new surroundings, but thinking back to his first night at Nathaniel’s and how easily he had fallen asleep made him feel like he’d made the right decision. If he was the superstitious kind, he’d say it was a good omen. He wasn’t even willing to acknowledge how much his mind had screamed that Nathaniel sleeping next to him would make it even more right.
He could remember vividly Nathaniel knocking on his door that first night and how kissable his lips had looked. And how much Tristan’s heart had started to race and not to mention his cock standing to attention just by having the man close to him with a bed in the vicinity. With all the lights turned off and just the lamps for dim lighting, it had given the room such an intimate feel. Tristan’s mind had gone places. Very naughty, X-rated places.
Nathaniel was so sweet. He thought back to the conversation they had that night.
“I know it’s been a long day,” Nathaniel said.
“For you too, I bet,” Tristan replied.
Nathaniel had raked his hand through that luscious head of hair without answering, and for a brief moment, Tristan saw the weariness he was so good at hiding.
The man was used to taking care of everything besides himself it seemed. No one was there for him to share the burden with. He wanted to be that person.
Didn’t hurt that Tristan felt the current between them like it was a living thing. It was that palpable. He could see himself with Nathaniel… In Nathaniel. He wanted to devour the man whole. He wanted to see him with those guards down.
The past few weeks seemed like a dream. From finding out about the switch to now. It was like his life was someone else’s, and he was just a spectator.
That first night he and Nathaniel had checked on the girls together, Tristan had been able to see firsthand Nathaniel’s love for Emma, as well as his pain and fear. The man was absolutely terrified he was going to lose her to the surgery.
Tristan could empathize. He prayed like he had never prayed, to a God he wasn’t sure he even believed in. He couldn’t have found Shay’s baby only to lose her. Life couldn’t and wouldn’t be that vicious, would it? He wasn’t sure how he could live through that.
He recalled vividly the surprise on Nathaniel’s face when he saw Samantha and Emma sleeping in the same bed. Although it had morphed quickly into joy. Emma had scooted over to cuddle with Sammy. Somehow drifting together until they shared the same pillow. His heart swelled at the sight of his two daughters, as close as the sisters they were becoming.
Tristan had been surprised himself. He thought Samantha might want to sleep in his room her first night in a new house, but nope. She was snuggled in with Emma, and they had looked like precious angels.
Tristan was aware that the surgery day was drawing closer. And unbeknownst to anyone, he had updated his will with Ben. It would have been reckless of him to not see to Emma’s future. It had surprised him when Ben told him that he had to leave instructions for Emma as well as Samantha. In the eyes of the law Emma, not Samantha, was his responsibility.
It hadn’t become apparent to him just how fucked up everything was until the hospital called to inform them that Tristan, not Nathaniel, had to sign off on Emma’s surgery. Nathaniel had looked like someone had sucker-punched him at the news.
He could imagine just how the man was feeling. The idea of a stranger, which to a certain extent he still was, making the decision for his child would have devastated Tristan. So he’d gotten his lawyer to draw up temporary documents allowing Nathaniel to make decisions for Emma. As it should be. Especially if something happened to Tristan and decisions had to be made for either girl.
Sure, Lain had his medical power of attorney, and his friends were in charge of the trust. And Samantha's, and now Emma’s trust funds. But it would have been irresponsible and unfair of him to take away Nathaniel’s rights to make decisions for his child. So he’d left instructions that would ensure Nathaniel was able to do so for the surgery and if anything happened to him.
Prior to this fucked-up situation, if anything happened to him, Teo was to become Samantha’s guardian. But he’d had to make arrangements to fit their new reality. He would hate for there to be some custody battle or Emma in foster care if he were suddenly gone.
The days living here had shown him that Nathaniel was an excellent dad. Tristan saw firsthand how hard this had been for him. But he didn’t let anyone see it. The man never complained. If he didn’t admire him so much, he would hate him.
And even though he had made it clear he was available to talk, Nathaniel hadn’t taken him up on the offer.
One thing was certain though. He was sure that no matter what happened, the girls would be safe with Nathaniel. And that was all that mattered.
He was a light sleeper, and he’d heard noises some nights. He would always wake up to find Nathaniel either in Emma's, Samantha's, or Wyatt's room. He would be there just looking at either one of them which such love and awe. Like he couldn’t believe they were his.
Tristan felt like the man was reminding himself this was his life and it wasn’t a dream. He didn’t know Nathaniel well enough to speculate. Although he hoped that would change soon.
Nathaniel would reach towards Samantha and brush the curly blonde strands away from her face with such tenderness. Looking at her like she was the most precious thing in his world. Or he would go into Emma’s room and kneel at her bedside, like he was praying, and just hold on to her hands like if he let go for a second, she may float away.
The day he’d seen him counting her heartbeats like he needed to make sure she was still breathing and feeling every beat would confirm it had broken Tristan’s heart. And maybe also made him fall in love with Nathaniel a little more. Tristan always tried to stay out of the way and let him have his moments in peace and a semblance of privacy while “spying” on him.
All these moments were making him more and more enthralled by the man. He was strength and vulnerability in one very alluring package. He knew he wasn’t ready to pursue whatever this was between them right now, however. Neither one of them were in the right frame of mind for it. He was also very aware that if he took that step, all their lives would change yet again. And they needed a moment of stability before another upheaval.
They’d had a conversation about telling the girls, and it had left Tristan disturbed for a while. He’d pointed out reasonably that lies had a way of coming out. And the longer they kept the secret, the harder it would be to tell.
“The girls deserve to know the truth, Tristan. And if we don’t tell them and they find out some other way, down the line, they’ll hate us. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take,” he’d said.
Tristan never wanted his girls not speaking to him. He would loathe having the relationship he had with his parents with Emma or Samantha.
The day before he and Emma had to get checked into the hospita
l, they’d decided to spend it together. Just the five of them. He, Nathaniel, Samantha, Emma, and Wyatt.
It was such a beautiful day. And he’d felt like they were a proper family. Like he and Nathaniel were Papa and Daddy, taking their brood out for a day out. The girls had loved the aquarium and had squealed excitedly, seeing the dolphins doing their flips.
They had both agreed to not doing anything too strenuous for Emma’s sake. They’d gone to the aquarium and then had lunch at the botanical garden. Followed by some art and music facility where the girls had beat on drums and played on a tambourine. Well, only after Nathaniel had used enough Purell to disinfect a small town. Not that he could blame the man for being extra cautious.
He’d felt like Nathaniel’s partner when the other dads had looked at him with sympathy like “we know what it’s like to have an OCD/OTT spouse too. We feel your pain.” He found he didn’t mind people assuming that Nathaniel was his husband, boyfriend, partner, or whatever they wanted to call it. And he knew he would have decked anyone that had something negative to say about him.
He couldn’t even explain how he’d felt when Nathaniel said, “I’ll take the girls, and you spend the day with Wyatt.”
It was like he was on top of the world. He wanted to beat on his chest like some caveman because they only had to co-parent Emma and Samantha. Nathaniel could very well keep Wyatt away from him. But no, Nathaniel had spent the day in some sort of drum circle with the girls while he had done messy art with Wyatt. It was one of the best days he had in ages.
It was easy getting the kids settled for bedtime. They’d been exhausted after the excitement of the day. Once they were done putting the kids to bed, they had both returned to the TV room. It surprised and excited him when Nathaniel said he looked exhausted while gazing down at him as if he really cared how tired Tristan was. He hoped he did.
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