A Family For Keeps

by Rheland Richmond

  Just to be certain he wasn’t hallucinating this entire conversation, he said, “And that’s it. That’s why you want to marry me, because of the kids?” He asked like phrasing it differently would get him the answer he wanted. The man looked like Tristan was asking him for the cure for cancer.

  He decided on straight talk and asked point blank, “Do you love me, Nathaniel?” Instead of any number of things he could have said, he broke Tristan’s heart by saying, “I think we could make it work. We’re good parents.” He pointed at both of them like he was trying to get Tristan to understand what he was saying… He babbled on about “And we don’t hate each other. I mean we like each other. Right?” But Tristan was done listening and done with the entire fuckin’ conversation.

  But the man wouldn’t stop talking. He kept on about, “I care about you. I think we could have an amazing family. Don’t you? We’d both have no reason to leave because we love the kids.” He kept babbling on like he was trying to get Tristan to see his reasoning.

  “We could have a legal claim on each other…” But he must have realized what he said because he quickly corrected himself and said, “on the girls. I meant legal claim on the girls.”

  Tristan finally saw what was behind the dreadful proposal. Nathaniel was doing what he normally did, just a little differently this time. He was retreating. He wanted to use the girls as a way to make Tristan stay.

  All his anger dissipated at that. Because he knew just how insecure his man was about people leaving. But Tristan also knew saying yes to the proposal would be a massive disservice to everything they were becoming.

  Instead of saying anything more about the proposal, he simply said, “We’re leaving.”.

  He was going to show the man that this thing between them was real.

  44

  Tristan

  They drove home in complete and utter silence. He could see how agitated the man was the closer they got to the house. Tristan was so mad, he didn’t even try and break the awkward silence. It wasn’t until they got home, parked, and checked on the girls and Wyatt, that he broke the tense silence between them.

  He waited right until they got to their room before he pulled Nathaniel into his arms and then kissed him mercilessly. A deep, toe-curling kind of kiss. He nibbled on Nathaniel’s lips until he parted them, allowing him deeper access. His mouth glided over the line of his jaw, then planted teasing kisses down the column of his throat. Nathaniel moaned softly. He nuzzled the hollow of his neck, trailed his tongue along his collarbone. His hands wandered down his back, cupping his ass, pulling him flush against the ridge of his hard-on, stripping the man as he backed him on to the bed. He got himself naked just as quickly.

  He made sure Nathaniel had his eyes on him before taking the thick head of the man’s cock into his mouth. Fuck! His balls constricted at the beautiful vision the man made, all that blond hair flowing around his face, those mesmerizing eyes glazed with lust. He was going to drive Tristan insane, both with lust and frustration. What did he have to do to make Nathaniel realize he was here for the long haul?

  His tongue lapped at the tip, denying him the suction he craved. He was punishing the man for doubting them. He waited until Nathaniel was a panting, begging mess before finally swallowing down his shaft, hollowing his cheeks, and sucking. The man tried pumping his hips, clearly needing more suction. He tried using his hands on Tristan’s head to make him go deeper, but Tristan wasn’t ready to let him cum, so he pulled back again.

  Instead, he reached between his legs and cupped his balls. He gave them a nice tug with just the right amount of pressure.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Don’t stop, don’t you dare stop,” Nathaniel chanted.

  He couldn’t resist tasting him. Nathaniel moaned louder from the feeling of him licking his balls. As they became wetter, they also drew up. His sac was tight to the base of his very rigid, leaking cock.

  He laved his tongue up and down his ass, teasing the man before he concentrated on the tiny, wrinkled opening, getting it to relax and open for him so he could slide his tongue inside. Nathaniel pushed down on his muscles, opening himself up to Tristan. He slid his tongue deep into Nathaniel's hole.

  Fuck! Tristan was addicted to the taste of Nathaniel. He slid his tongue in and out of the man. Tongue fucking him like it was an Olympic sport, and he was going for gold. Nathaniel lay there moaning and begging Tristan to fuck him.

  When he was so wound up that he needed to get in Nathaniel before he lost it, he leaped from the bed and grabbed the bottle of lube and a condom from his bedside drawer. Yes, he now had his own drawer in Nathaniel's room, or maybe he should say their room. How did the man not see what was right in front of his face?

  He poured some lube onto his fingers and gently began working it into Nathaniel’s hole. One finger, then two, until he had three lubed fingers working in and out of him, spreading them to help open him up for his cock. Tristan readily found Nathaniel's prostate and teased him lightly.

  He poured extra lube around Nathaniel’s hole and sheathed his cock, and added some more lube. He looked at Nathaniel who was lying there looking back at him. He wanted to take the man on his back so that he could look into his eyes as he made love to him because that was what it was. He hoped the man could see just how deeply he felt.

  He moved up over him, using his hands to direct his cock to the opening of his man’s body. Nathaniel instinctively wrapped his legs around his waist, his feet resting on his butt. He began pressing the head of his cock into Nathaniel’s lubed hole. There was some slight resistance, but the tip of his cock soon breached his opening. As soon as it popped inside, he immediately stopped all movement, allowing Nathaniel to get used to him. But Nathaniel must have been too desperate to wait. He grabbed Tristan's hips and used his feet to push, shoving Tristan’s cock fully in his hole. Tristan bottomed out in him, and the man let out a deep satisfied groan.

  He felt Nathaniel’s ass spasming around his cock, and he stayed buried in his hole, letting him adjust for a second. He felt the moment he was ready and slowly began to move. He backed up a few inches, then slowly slid back in until he once again bottomed out.

  Nathaniel’s eyes were on him through all of this, and he could see the pleasure he was experiencing. He let his cock slide over the man’s prostate. He slowly took his cock almost all the way out and then slowly slid it all the way back in. He teased the man until he was begging for him to go faster and fuck him harder. Tristan wanted to draw this out as much as he could, but from the moment his cock had entered that hot, tight, wet hole, his orgasm had been building at a rapid rate.

  “Fuck me, Tristan. Fuck me, please! Harder,” Nathaniel begged.

  He picked up speed and power, ramming his cock in and out of his hole as hard and as fast as he could. He knew he was not going to last much longer, but he could also feel it in the tenseness of Nathaniel’s body. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer either.

  As he gave a couple of intense pushes to drive his cock harder and faster into that fucking amazing ass, he heard Nathaniel scream and felt his ass clamp down around his cock. He watched as cum began to shoot from Nathaniel between their bodies.

  “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” Nathaniel screamed as his load painted his chest and abs with streaks of cum.

  At the same time, Tristan’s balls began to unload inside that clenching ass. The man’s ass continued to clutch at his cock. Tristan kept driving his cock as far as he could reach up inside him. He wanted to bury himself deep inside this man he had fallen for, let him see he was claiming him forever.

  More than ever he wished there was nothing between them so he could shoot his cum into Nathaniel, marking him from the inside out.

  After a few minutes, he let Nathaniel go and got up and then stroked the back of his fingers over his cheek.

  “This thing between us has nothing to do with the kids, and if you’re too chicken shit to admit it, then there’s nothing here for us. I won’t say yes to that proposal
because it was an insult to the both of us and what we’ve shared. When you figure it out, when you can finally admit that I’m not going anywhere, not because of the kids, then ask me again. Because I love you, Nathaniel. There, I said it. I love you, but you need to figure that out for yourself because I’ve done everything I can to show you. But it doesn’t seem to make a difference.”

  He left a dazed Nathaniel and walked towards his room for the first time in over a month. These past few weeks had been incredible, and the idea of losing Nathaniel when he knew how perfect they could be killed him. But he couldn’t say yes to that crapfest half-assed proposal. Nope!

  He knew it was Nathaniel’s fear talking, but until the man could see how much he meant to Tristan, there was nothing more he could do. He’d done all he could to convince him that he was here to stay and that he wasn’t going anywhere. But the scars from Nathaniel’s childhood ran deep. Tristan couldn’t heal them for him. He could only be there and love him till he figured it out himself.

  But Nathaniel needed to figure out that Tristan would be there. He needed to realize he wasn’t just another one in the long line of people that had walked away.

  Nathaniel

  He thought back to Tristan asking him if he loved him, and honestly, if the man had asked Nathaniel for a million dollars, he would have been less shocked. Nathaniel hadn’t been sure how to answer, and he certainly didn’t want to expose his feeling without knowing how they would be received. So he’d gone for the logical answer.

  But hearing Tristan say he loved him was one of the best moments of his life. But why couldn’t he say it back? He watched as Tristan walked out of the room, and he knew what he had to say to make the man stay. But it was stuck in his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Even if they were true. He loved Tristan more than he could put in words. He was everything he had never imagined he could have but everything he wanted. So why couldn’t he tell him all this? Why was he letting one of the best things that had ever happened to him walk out the door?

  45

  Nathaniel

  Nathaniel knew he was being a coward. Every day for the past week, he had slept alone, and he hated it. He disappeared into his office every day, only coming out for meal times with the kids. He couldn’t face Tristan. He didn’t know what to say to the man. Every time he wanted to tell him he loved him too, the words stalled in his throat. All he remembered was Patrick laughing at him when he’d said it. And his mom, the one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally, leaving him behind.

  He knew Tristan wanted to shake some sense into him. The memory of his proposal all logical and shit and Tristan turning him down was on constant replay in his head. When Tristan wasn’t avoiding him or “giving him space” as the man called it. He looked like he wanted to punch something half the time. Tristan had said he loved him, and that marriage between them shouldn’t be some cold impersonal transaction. The man swore he would never let that happen.

  He hoped the man wouldn’t tell him he was leaving, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say what he knew would bring them out of this weird holding pattern he’d put them in.

  He’d heard Tristan on the phone, saying, “I don’t want to play this card, but it may probably be all I have left in my arsenal, and I think I’m ready to use it.”

  He had no idea what the man was talking about, but it couldn’t be anything good. He kept seeing Tristan walking into his office, saying, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me and Samantha to stay here anymore.”

  If the man decided to leave, they would have to come up with an explanation for the girls and get them prepared for what came next. He did not want that to happen. He didn’t want to do alternate weekends and every other week or whatever it would be. He especially didn’t want his house without Tristan in it.

  He knew Tristan would hate hurting him, but if he didn’t get over his crap soon, he would lose the man for good. He would die if he had to drop Emma at Tristan’s house and see another man living there with him.

  Fuck! He just missed Tristan and how his arms felt around him at night or how the man would kiss him like he wanted to swallow him whole. Like he couldn’t get enough. He also hated how much time Tristan spent out of the house the past week. He had gotten used to him being around, even when they weren’t together. He couldn’t even ask where he was going.

  He was out of the house again today, so Nathaniel was surprised when Teo showed up in his office, without even knocking.

  He didn’t even waste any time before saying, “I heard Tristan didn't jump at your proposal.” Nathaniel looked up at Teo, not replying. The man didn’t take the hint and added, “Or we wouldn't be having this conversation. And my mom would be knee deep in wedding planning.

  “I’ve already seen this movie. I know how it ends,” Nathaniel replied, not looking up from his screen.

  “And how does it end?” Teo asked.

  He was silent for a moment, debating whether or not he should answer “Everybody leaves me,” Nathaniel finally said. “I can’t do it,” he added quietly.

  “What’s that exactly?” Teo asked him.

  “Lose him. I care about him too much, and if he ever decided to leave because he got tired of me or something, I couldn’t take it, but if I pretended it was just about the kids, it wouldn’t hurt when he left. Right?”

  “Dude, you’re already losing him,” Teo said. “He’s going to walk out the door if you don’t give him a reason to stay. And this time he won’t be the one leaving. It would be because you pushed him out. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love Tristan,” Teo added.

  Nathaniel opened his mouth to refute the statement, but Teo interrupted him, “You can lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself.

  “He may not show it, but he’s scared too. He has abandonment issues as well. He’s worried he’s not enough by himself. This is Tristan we’re talking about. He didn’t go through everything you went through, sure, but when your parents don’t want you, make you feel like a disappointment, and are not even worried about telling you, and everyone what they think of you, that scars you. He needs reassurances too, Nathaniel.

  “Don’t tell him I told you, but he’s dreamed of being swept off his feet. Even though he’ll never admit it now. If you’d told him you loved him, showed him that you do, maybe you’ll get the answer to that proposal you’ve been dying for.

  “Oh and as an added bonus… the kids get what they need. Two parents who both love them but also love each other,” Teo added.

  “How am I sure he loves me? I mean, sure, he said it more maybe...”

  “You’re a lot of things but stupid isn’t one of them, Nathaniel,” Teo interrupted him, scoffing.

  Nathaniel thought back to every moment with Tristan, everything they’d done together and with the kids, how the man took care of him, always made sure to check on Nathaniel for no other reason than to make sure he was good. Yeah, he was an idiot, and Teo was right. He’d been too scared, too chicken shit, to see what was in front of him.

  “You’re afraid he’ll hurt you. Well, so is he, Nathaniel. I think you're underestimating yourself. You have an amazing heart, even though life has tried to beat it out of you. Don’t sell yourself short and go get your man. And he’s worth all of it. He won’t settle, and neither should you,” Teo said.

  How right Teo was. Tristan was worth all of it and more. How fair was it that he wanted assurances from Tristan but wasn’t giving him anything back? He was so ashamed of that half-assed proposal. He had to do it right this time. He had to go get his man and make them a family, for real. His family. That felt so fucking right.

  He’d never truly lusted after anyone before. He’d never physically craved someone the way he craved Tristan. He had never wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with Tristan, and he couldn’t explain it, but he didn’t need to, and he also didn’t have to keep running from it. Love was about sacrifice. Putting the other person first, no
matter what you had to give up, or how fucking scared you were. For him, that meant giving up his fear and insecurities that he wasn’t good enough. Because Tristan had never for one moment made him feel that way.

  Before Teo could leave, Nathaniel said, “I have an idea, and I need your help to pull it off.”

  Teo smiled over at him approvingly and said, “Now we’re talking. Alright, Santa, you have a little helper.”

  46

  Tristan

  Tristan came back home from his time at the bakery to a very quiet house. He was surprised it was so quiet because it was too early for the kids to be asleep. He checked in the living room and the TV room but didn’t see the kids anywhere. He shrugged, figuring Nathaniel took them out or something.

  Tristan was tired. Not from his day at the bakery, but he was tired of waiting for Nathaniel to see reason. He had also been sleeping badly. He didn’t realize how much he had gotten used to feeling Nathaniel curled against him. He had considered threatening to leave with Samantha, but Teo had talked him out of it.

  He could also admit he was scared. He was scared the man would simply nod, and wouldn’t that just shatter Tristan’s heart if Nathaniel wasn’t even willing to fight for them. He had come close to shaking him this past week. He wanted to force the man to wake up and to see sense.

  He missed the man so fucking much. Who knew you could see someone every day, live in the same house and miss them like they were a thousand miles away. He hated sleeping back in that guest room. He missed the taste of Nathaniel. His sweetness. It was driving him crazy not kissing the man, but he wouldn’t bend on this. If they were to ever have a shot at something real and honest, Nathaniel had to come to him for all the right reasons.