“You mean, when I was getting you kicked off the baseball team for cheating and then lying to my boyfriend and telling him you did something I only wanted you to do?”
“That’s why Scott and his buddies beat me up that night? I had no idea.”
“I’m so sorry, Quinn. I was despicable to you.”
“Why?” he asked. “I still don’t quite understand what I ever did to turn your wrath against me.”
She sighed. “Every girl in school had a crush on you, but for me, it went way past crush. I didn’t know your story but I could tell you were in pain. Maybe that’s why you fascinated me, more than anyone I had ever known in my sheltered little life. I guess I was something of a healer, even then.”
He gazed at her as the music shifted again, something low and sultry.
“I was fiercely attracted to you,” she finally admitted. “But you made it clear you weren’t interested. My pride was hurt. But I have to say, I think my heart was a little bruised, too. And so I turned mean. I wanted you to hurt, too. It was terrible and small of me and I’m so, so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago,” he said again. “We’re both different people.”
She smiled a little, her pulse pounding loudly in her ears. “Not so different,” she murmured, still holding his hand. “I’m still fiercely attracted to you.”
Chapter 12
Her breath snagged in her throat as she waited for him to break the sudden silence between them that seemed to drag on forever, though it was probably only several endless, excruciating seconds.
She braced herself, not sure she could survive another rejection. Nerves shivered through her as she waited for him to move, to speak, to do anything.
Just when she thought she couldn’t endure the uncertainty another moment and was about to scramble away and tell him to ignore every single thing she had just said, he groaned her name and then his mouth captured hers in a wild kiss.
At that first stunning brush of his lips, the slick texture of his mouth, heat exploded between them like an August lightning storm on dry tinder. She returned his kiss, pouring everything into her response—her regret for the hurt she had caused him, her compassion for his loss, the soft tenderness blooming inside her.
And especially this urgent attraction pulsing to every corner of her body with each beat of her heart.
This was right. Inevitable, even. From the moment she heard him ring the doorbell earlier, some part of her had known they would end up here, with his arms around her and his heartbeat strong and steady under her fingers.
She wanted to help him, to heal him. To soak his pain inside her and ease his heart, if only for a moment.
She wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck, relishing the contrast between her curves and his immovable strength, between the cool wall at her back and all the glorious heat of his arms.
“While we’re apologizing,” he murmured against her mouth, “I’m sorry I was such an idiot the last time I kissed you. I don’t have any excuse, other than fear.”
She blinked at him, wondering why she had never noticed those dark blue speckles in his eyes. “Of what?”
“This. You.” His mouth danced across hers again and everything feminine inside her sighed with delight.
“I want you.” His voice was little more than a low rasp that sent every nerve ending firing madly. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted another woman in my life and it scares the hell out of me.”
“I’m just a woman. What’s to be scared about?”
He laughed roughly. “That’s like a saber-toothed tiger saying I’m just a nice little kitty. You are no ordinary woman, Tess.”
Before she could figure out whether he meant the words as a compliment, he deepened the kiss and she decided she didn’t care, as long as he continued this delicious assault on her senses.
He lowered her to the floor and she held him tightly as all the sleepy desires she had buried deep inside for years bubbled to the surface. It had been so long—so very, very long—since she had been held and cherished like this and she wanted to savor every second.
The taste of him, the scent of him, the implacable strength of his arms around her. It all felt perfect. He felt perfect.
She supposed that was silly, given the slightly unromantic circumstances. Instead of candlelight and rose petals and soft pillows, they were on the hard floor of her spare room with bright fluorescent lights gleaming.
But she wouldn’t have changed any of it, especially at the risk of shattering this hazy, delicious cocoon of desire wrapped around them.
Okay, she might wish she were wearing something a little more sensual, especially when his hands went to the buttons of her old work shirt. But he didn’t seem to mind her clothing, judging by the heavy-lidded hunger in his eyes after he had worked the buttons free and the plackets of her shirt fell away.
She should have felt exposed here in the unforgiving light of the room. Instead, she felt feminine and eminently desirable as his eyes darkened.
“You’re gorgeous,” he murmured. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m afraid I’m not the tight-bodied cheerleader I was at sixteen.”
“Who wants some silly cheerleader when he could have a saber-toothed tiger of a woman in his arms?”
She laughed but it turned into a ragged gasp when he slowly caressed her through the fabric of her bra, his fingers hard and masculine against her breast.
He groaned, low in his throat, and his thumb deftly traced the skin just above the lacy cup. Everything tightened inside her, a lovely swell of tension as he worked the clasp free, and she nearly arched off the floor when his fingers covered her skin.
He teased and explored her body while his mouth tantalized hers with deep, silky tastes and her hands explored the hard muscles of his back and the thick softness of his hair.
“This is crazy,” he said after long, delirious moments. “It’s not what I came here for, I swear.”
“Don’t think about it,” she advised him, nipping little kisses down the warm column of his neck. “I know I’m not.”
His laugh turned into a groan as she feathered more kisses along his jawline. “Well, when you put it that way...”
She smiled, then gasped when he began trailing kisses down the side of her throat. Every coherent thought skittered out of her head when his mouth found her breast. She tangled her hands in his hair, arching into his mouth as he tasted and teased.
Oh, heaven. She felt as if she had been waiting years just for this, just for him, as if everything inside her had been frozen away until he came back to Pine Gulch to thaw all those lonely, forgotten little corners of her heart.
She thought again how very perfect, inevitable, this was as he pulled her shirt off and then removed his own.
He was beautiful. The rough-edged, rebellious boy had grown into a hard, dangerous man, all powerful muscles and masculine hollows and strength. She wanted to explore every single inch of that smooth skin.
She would, she vowed. Even if it took all night. Or several nights. It was a sacrifice she was fully willing to make.
Again she had that sense of inescapable destiny. They had been moving toward this moment since that first night he had startled her in the hallway of Winder Ranch. Longer, even. Maybe all that dancing around each other they had done in high school had just been a prelude to this.
A few moments later, no clothing barriers remained between them and she exulted in the sheer delicious wonder of his skin brushing hers, his strength surrounding her softness.
He kissed her and a restless need started deep inside her and expanded out in hot, hungry waves. She couldn’t get enough of this, of him. She traced a hand over his pectoral muscles, feeling the leashed strength in him.
And then she forgot everything when he reached a hand between their bod
ies to the aching core of her hunger. She gasped his name, shifting restlessly against his fingers, and everything inside her coiled with a sweet, urgent ache of anticipation.
She felt edgy, panicky suddenly, as if the room were spinning too fast for her to ride along, but his kiss kept her centered in the midst of the tornado of sensation. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her breathing ragged.
He kissed her then, his mouth hot, insistent, demanding. That was all it took. With a sharp cry, she let go of what tiny tendrils of control remained and flung herself into the whirling, breathtaking maelstrom.
Even before the last delicious tremors had faded, he produced a condom from his wallet and entered her with one swift movement.
Long unused muscles stretched to welcome him and he groaned, pressing his forehead to hers.
“So tight,” he murmured.
“I’m sorry.”
His laugh was rough and tickled her skin. “I don’t believe I was complaining.”
He kissed her fiercely, possessively, and just like that, she could feel her body rise to meet his again.
With her hands gripped tightly in his, he moved inside her and she arched restlessly against him, her body seeking more, burning for completion. And then she could sense a change in him, feel the taut edginess in every touch. Her mouth tangled with his and at the slick brush of his tongue against hers, she climaxed again, with a core-deep sigh of delight.
He froze above her, his muscles corded, and then he groaned and joined her in the storm.
* * *
He came back to earth with a powerful sense of the surreal. None of this seemed to be truly happening. Not the hard floor beneath his shoulders or the soft, warm curves in his arms or this unaccustomed contentment stealing through him.
It was definitely genuine, though. He could feel her pulse against his arm where her head lay nestled and smell that delectable scent of her.
“How could I have forgotten?” she murmured.
He angled his head to better see her expression. “Forgotten what?”
She smiled and he was struck again by her breathtaking beauty. She was like some rare, exquisite flower that bloomed in secret just for him.
“This radiant feeling. Total contentment. As if for a few short moments, everything is perfect in the world.”
He smiled, enchanted by her. “You don’t think everything would be a tad more perfect if we happened to be in a soft bed somewhere instead of on the bare floor of your ripped-apart spare room? I think I’ve got paint chips in places I’m not sure I should mention.”
She made a face, though he saw laughter dancing in her eyes. “Go ahead. Ruin the moment for me.”
“Sorry. It’s just been a long time since I’ve been so...carried away.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
He studied her. “How long?”
Her lovely green-eyed gaze met his, then flickered away. “Since the night before Scott’s accident. So that would be eight years, if anyone’s counting.”
“In all that time, not once?”
As soon as his shocked words escaped, he realized they weren’t very tactful, but she didn’t seem offended.
“I loved my husband,” she said solemnly. “Even if he wasn’t quite the man I expected to spend the rest of my life with when I married him, I loved him and I honored my wedding vows.”
He pulled her closer, stunned at her loyalty and devotion. She had put her life, her future, completely on hold for years to care for a man who could never be the sort of husband a young woman needed.
Most women he knew would have felt perfectly justified in resuming their own lives after such a tragic accident. They might have mourned their husband for a while but would have been quick to put the past behind them.
He thought of his own mother, selfish and feckless, who wasn’t happy unless she was the center of attention. She wouldn’t have had the first idea how to cope after such a tragedy.
Not Tess. She had stayed, had sacrificed her youth for her husband.
“Scott was an incredibly fortunate man to have you.”
Her eyes softened. “Thank you, Quinn.” She kissed him gently, her mouth warm and soft, and he was astonished at the fragile tenderness that fluttered through him like dry leaves on the autumn wind.
“Can I stay?” he asked. “It’s...harder than I expected to hang out at the ranch right now.”
She smiled against his mouth and her kiss left no question in his mind about what her answer would be.
“Of course. I would love you to stay. And I even have a bed in the other room, believe it or not.”
He rose and pulled her to her feet, stunned all over again at the peace welling inside him. He didn’t think he had come here for this on a conscious level, but perhaps some part of him knew she would welcome him, would soothe the ache in his heart with that easy nurturing that was such a part of her.
“Show me,” he murmured.
Her smile was brilliant and took his breath away as she took him by the hand and led him from the room.
* * *
She was having a torrid affair.
Two days later, Tess could hardly believe it, even when the evidence was sprawled beside her, wide shoulders propped against her headboard, looking rugged and masculine against the dainty yellow frills and flowers of her bedroom.
The fluffy comforter on her bed covered him to the waist and she found the contrast between the feminine fabric and the hard planes and hollows of his muscled chest infinitely arousing.
She sighed softly, wondering if she would ever get tired of looking at him, touching him, laughing with him.
For two days, they hadn’t left her house, except for sneaking in one quick trip to Winder Ranch in the middle of the night for him to grab some extra clothes and toiletries.
What would the rest of the town think if news spread that the sainted Tess Claybourne was engaged in a wild, torrid relationship with Quinn Southerland, the former bad boy of Pine Gulch?
Enthusiastically engaged, no less. She flushed at the memory of her response to him, of the heat and magic and connection they had shared the past few days. The sensual, passionate woman she had become in his arms seemed like a stranger, as if she had stored up all these feelings and desires inside her through the past eight years.
She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or thrilled that she had discovered this part of herself with him.
“You’re blushing,” he said now with an interested look. “What are you thinking about?”
“You. This. I was thinking about how I had no idea I could...that we could...”
Her voice trailed off as she struggled with words to finish the sentence. Her own discomfort astounded her. How could she possibly possess even a hint of awkwardness after everything they had done together within these walls, all the secrets they had shared?
He didn’t seem to need any explanation.
“You absolutely can. And we absolutely have.”
He grinned, looking male and gorgeous and so completely content with the world that she couldn’t help laughing.
This was the other thing that shocked her, that she could have such fun with him. He wasn’t at all the intense, brooding rebel she had thought when they were younger. Quinn had a sly sense of humor and a keen sense of the ridiculous.
They laughed about everything from a silly horror movie they watched on TV in the middle of the night to the paint flecks in her hair after they made one half-hearted attempt to continue working on the trim in the guest room to a phone call from Easton the day before, wondering if Tess had kidnapped him.
And they had talked, endlessly. About his memories of the other Four Winds, about growing up on the ranch, about her friends and family and the miracle of how she had been led to become a nurse long before Scott’s accident when those skills wo
uld become so vital.
They had also talked a great deal about his foster mother and also about Guff. He seemed to find great comfort in sharing memories with her. That he would trust her with those memories touched and warmed her, more than she could ever express. She hoped his sorrow eased a little as he brought those events and people to life for her.
“I wish it didn’t have to end,” she murmured now, then wished she could recall the words.
No regrets, she had promised herself that first night. She intended only to seize every ounce of happiness she could with him and then let him go with a glad heart that she had this chance to share a few wonderful days with him.
He traced a hand along her bare arm. “I wish I could put off my return to Seattle. But I’ve been away too long as it is. My plane’s coming tomorrow.”
“I know.”
Her smile felt tight, forced, as she fought to hide the sadness hovering just out of reach at his impending departure.
How had he become so very important to her in just a few short weeks? Even the idea of moving to Portland, starting over with new friends and different employment challenges, had lost much of its luster.
Ridiculous, she told herself. She couldn’t let herself fall into a funk over the inevitable end of a passionate, albeit brief, affair, even one with the man who had fascinated her for two decades.
“We should do something,” he said suddenly.
She took in the rumpled bedclothes and the hard muscles of his bare chest. “I thought we had been doing something.”
His sensual smile just about took her breath away. “I meant go to dinner or something. It’s not fair for me to keep you chained up in the bedroom for two days without even offering to feed you.”
“We haven’t tried the chained-up thing.”
“Yet.”
Her insides shivered at the single word in that low growl of a voice.
“We could go to The Gulch,” he suggested, apparently unaffected by the same sudden vivid fantasies that flashed across her mind.
A Place to Belong Page 13