She pushed them away, wondering what the regulars or Lou and Donna Archuleta would think if she showed up in the café with Quinn looking rumpled and well-loved. What did she care? she thought. She deserved some happiness and fun in her life and if she found that with Quinn, it was nobody’s damn business but theirs.
“What about the others?” she asked. “Easton and Brant and Cisco? Don’t you think you ought to spend your last night in town with them?”
He made a face, though she thought he looked struck by the reminder of his friends and the shared loss that had brought them all together.
“I should,” he finally admitted. “I stayed an extra few days after the funeral to spend time with them but I ended up a little...distracted.”
She pulled away from him and slipped her arms through her robe. “I should never have monopolized all your time.”
“It was a mutual monopoly. I wanted to be here.”
“If you want to spend your last evening at the ranch with them, please don’t feel you can’t because of me. Because of this.”
“Why do I have to choose? We should all go to dinner together.”
She frowned. “I’m not one of you, Quinn.”
“After the past two weeks, you feel as much a part of the family as any of us.”
She wanted to argue that the others would probably want him to themselves and she couldn’t blame them. But she had discovered she had a selfish streak hiding inside her. She couldn’t give up the chance to spend at least a few more hours with him.
Chapter 13
In her heart, Tess knew she didn’t belong here with the others but she couldn’t remember an evening she had enjoyed more.
Several hours later, she sat at the table in the Winder Ranch dining room and sipped at her wine, listening to the flow of conversation eddy around her.
When they weren’t teasing Easton about something, they were reminiscing about some camping trip Guff took them on into Yellowstone or the moose that chased them once along the shores of Hayden Lake or snowmobiling into the high country.
In every word and gesture, it was obvious they loved each other deeply, despite a few rough moments in the conversation.
Most notably, something was definitely up between Easton and Cisco, Tess thought. Though outwardly Easton treated him just as she did Brant and Quinn, with a sisterly sort of affection, Tess could sense braided ropes of tension tugging between the two of them.
They sat on opposite sides of the table and Easton was careful to avoid looking at him for very long.
What was it? she wondered. Had they fought about something? She had a feeling this wasn’t something recent in origin as she remembered Easton’s strange reaction whenever Cisco’s name had been mentioned, before he made it back to the ranch. Obviously, her feelings were different for him than for Brant and Quinn and Tess wondered if anybody else but her was aware of it.
They all seemed so different to her and yet it was obvious they were a unit. Easton, who loved the ranch and was the only one of the Four Winds not to wander away from it. Brant, the solemn, honorable soldier who seemed to be struggling with internal demons she couldn’t begin to guess at. Cisco, who by his demeanor appeared to be a thrill-seeking adventurer type, though she sensed there was much more to him than he revealed.
And then there was Quinn.
Around the others, these three people who were his closest friends and the only family he had left, he was warm and affectionate as they laughed and talked and shared memories and she was enthralled by him all over again.
She was the odd person out but Quinn had insisted she join them, even after Easton suggested they grill steaks at the ranch instead of going out to dinner.
The ranch house seemed empty without Jo. She wondered how Easton endured it—and how her friend would cope when she was alone here at the ranch after the men went their respective ways once more.
“Do you remember that snow prank?” Cisco said with a laugh. “That was classic, man. A masterpiece.”
“I still can’t believe you guys drove all the way into Idaho Falls just to rent a fake snow machine,” Easton said, still not looking at Cisco.
“Hey, I tried to talk them out of it,” Brant defended himself.
Quinn gave a rough laugh. “But you still drove the getaway car after we broke into the gymnasium and sprayed the Sweetheart Dance decorations with six inches of fake snow.”
Tess set down her fork and narrowed her gaze at the men. “Wait a minute. That was you?”
“Uh-oh. You are so busted.” Easton grinned at Quinn.
“I worked on that dance planning committee for weeks! I can’t believe you would be so blatantly destructive.”
“We were just trying to help out with the theme,” Quinn said. “Wasn’t it something about snuggling in with your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day? What better time to snuggle than in the middle of a blizzard and six inches of snow?”
She gave him a mock glare. “Nice try.”
“It was a long time ago. I say we all forgive and forget,” Brant said, winking at Tess.
“Do you have any idea how long it takes to clean up six inches of snow from a high-school gymnasium?”
“Hey, blame it all on Quinn. I was an innocent sophomore he dragged along for the ride,” Cisco said with a grin.
“You were never innocent,” Easton muttered.
He sent her a quick look out of hooded dark eyes. “True enough.”
Tess could feel the tension sizzle between them, though the other two men seemed oblivious to it. She wondered if any of them saw the anguished expression in Easton’s eyes as she watched Cisco.
The other woman suddenly shoved her chair away from the table. “Anybody up for dessert?” she asked, a falsely bright note to her voice. “Jenna McRaven owed me a favor so I talked her into making some of her famous turtle cheesecake.”
“That would be great,” Brant said. “Thank you.”
“Quinn? Cisco?”
Both men readily agreed and Easton headed for the kitchen.
“I’ll help,” Tess offered, sliding her chair away from the table. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten the snow prank. As to forgiving, I don’t believe there’s a statute of limitations on prosecution for breaking the spirit of the high-school dance committee.”
All three of the men laughed as she left the room, apparently unfazed by her empty threat.
In the kitchen, she found Easton reaching into the refrigerator. She emerged holding a delectable-looking dessert drizzled in chocolate and caramel and chopped nuts.
“All right, out with it,” Easton said as she set the cheesecake on the counter, and Tess realized this was the first chance they’d had all evening to speak privately.
“With what?” Tess asked in as innocent a voice as she could muster, though she had a feeling she sounded no more innocent than Cisco had.
“You and Quinn. He’s been gone from the ranch for two entire days! What’s going on with you two?”
She turned pink, remembering the passion and fun of the past two days.
“Nothing. Not really. We’re just... He’s just...”
“You’re right. It’s none of my business,” Easton said as she sliced the cheesecake and began transferring it to serving plates. “Sorry I asked.”
“It’s not that, I just... I can’t really explain it.”
Easton was silent for a long moment. “Are you sure you know what you’re dealing with when it comes to Quinn?” she finally asked with a searching look. “I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t ask.”
“He’s leaving tomorrow. I completely understand that.”
“Do you?”
Tess nodded, even as her heart gave a sad little twist. “Of course. These past few days have been...magical, but I know it’s only temporary. His life is in Seattle. Mine is he
re, at least for the next few weeks until I move to Portland.”
“Seattle and Portland aren’t so far apart that you couldn’t connect if you wanted to,” Easton pointed out.
She wouldn’t think about that, especially after she had worked so hard to convince herself their relationship was only temporary, born out of shared grief and stunning, surprising hunger.
“I care about you,” Easton said when Tess didn’t answer. “We owe you so much for these past weeks with Aunt Jo. You carried all of us through it. I mean that, Tess. You always knew exactly what to say and what to do, no matter what was happening, and I’ll be forever grateful to you for all you did for her. That’s why I’ll be absolutely furious if Quinn takes advantage of your natural compassion and ends up hurting you.”
“He won’t. I promise.”
Easton didn’t look convinced. Not surprising, she supposed, since Tess couldn’t even manage to convince herself.
“It’s just...he doesn’t have a great track record when it comes to women,” her friend said quietly.
Tess tried hard to make her sudden fierce interest in that particular subject seem casual. “Really?”
“I love him like a brother and have since he came to the ranch. But I’m not blind to his faults, especially when it comes to women. I don’t think Quinn has ever had a relationship that has lasted longer than a few weeks. To be honest, I’m not sure he’s capable of it.”
“Never?”
“I can’t be certain, I suppose. He’s been away for a long time. But every time I ask about his social life when we talk on the phone or email, he mentions he’s dating someone new.”
“Maybe he just hasn’t met anyone he wants to get serious with. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I think it’s more than that, Tess. If I had to guess, I would assume it has something to do with his parents’ marriage. He didn’t have an easy childhood and I think it’s made him gun-shy about relationships and commitment.”
“I’m sure it did. He told me about his parents and his messed-up home life.”
Surprise flashed in her blue eyes. “He did?”
She nodded. “It can’t be easy getting past something like that.”
“When we were kids, he vowed over and over that he was never going to get married. To be honest, judging by his track record, I don’t think he’s changed his mind one bit. It broke Jo’s heart, if you want the truth. She wanted to see us all settled before she died, but that didn’t happen, did it?”
Tess forced a smile, though the cracks in her own heart widened a little more. “Easton, it’s okay. I’m not interested in something long-term right now with Quinn or anyone else. We both needed...peace for a while after Jo’s death and we enjoy each other’s company. That’s all there is to it.”
Easton didn’t look at all convinced and Tess decided to change the uncomfortable subject.
“What time does Cisco leave tomorrow?” she asked.
The diversion worked exactly as she hoped. Easton’s expression of concern slid into something else entirely, something stark and painful.
“A few hours.” Her hand shook a little as she set the last slice of cheesecake on a small serving plate. “He’s catching a plane out of Salt Lake City to Central America at noon tomorrow, so he’ll be leaving in the early hours of the morning.”
Tess covered her hand and Easton gave her an anguished look.
“Without Jo here, I don’t know if he’ll ever come back. Or Quinn, for that matter. Brant at least has his own ranch up the canyon so I’m sure I’ll at least see him occasionally. But the other two...” Her voice trailed off. “Nothing will be the same without Aunt Jo.”
Tess pulled Easton into a hug. “It won’t be the same,” she agreed. “But you’re still here. They’ll come back for you.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“They will.” Tess gave her friend a little shake. “Anyway, Jo would be the first one to tell you to seize every moment. They might not be back for a while but they’re here now. Don’t sour the joy you can find tonight with them by stewing about what might be coming tomorrow.”
“You must be channeling Jo now. I can almost hear her in my head saying exactly those same words.”
“Then you’d better listen.” Tess smiled.
Easton sighed. “We’d better get this cheesecake out there before they come looking for us.”
“Can you give me a minute? I need some water, but I’ll be right out.”
Easton gave her a searching look. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
Tess forced a smile. “Of course. You’ve got three men waiting for dessert out there. You’d better hurry.”
After a pause, Easton nodded and carried the tray with the cheesecake slices out to the dining room.
When she was alone in the bright, cheery kitchen, Tess leaned against the counter and fought the urge to cover her face with her hands and weep.
She was a terrible liar. Lucky for her, Easton was too wrapped up in her own troubles to pay close attention.
She absolutely wasn’t okay, and she had a sinking feeling she wouldn’t be for a long, long time.
I’m not interested in something long-term right now with Quinn or anyone else.
It was a wonder Jo didn’t rise up and smite her for telling such a blatant fib in the middle of her kitchen.
Finally, she admitted to herself the truth she had been fighting for two days. Longer, probably. The truth that had been hovering just on the edges of her subconscious.
She was in love with him.
With Quinn Southerland, who planned to blow out of her life like the south wind in the morning.
She loved the way his mouth quirked up at the edges when he teased her about something. She loved his tender care of Jo in her final days and his deep appreciation of the family and home he had found here. She loved the strength and honor that had carried him through incredible trauma as a boy.
She loved the way he made her feel, cherished and beautiful and wanted, and the heat and abandon she experienced in his arms.
And she especially loved that he knew the very worst parts of her and wanted to spend time with her anyway.
Whatever was she going to do without him in her world? Just the thought of going through the motions after he returned to Seattle left her achy and heartsore.
She knew she would survive. What other choice did she have?
That didn’t mean she wanted to. Hadn’t she faced enough heartache? Just once in her life, couldn’t things work out the way she wanted?
Fighting back a sob, she moved to the sink and poured a glass of water so she could convince herself she hadn’t completely prevaricated to Easton.
She thought of her advice to her friend a few moments earlier.
Don’t sour the joy you can find in today by stewing about what might be coming tomorrow.
She couldn’t ruin these last few hours with him by anticipating the pain she knew waited for her around the corner.
* * *
Something was wrong.
He never claimed to be the most perceptive of men when it came to the opposite sex, but even he could tell Tess was distracted and troubled after dinner when he drove her back from the ranch to town.
She said little, mostly gazed out the window at the lights flickering in the darkness, few and far between in Cold Creek Canyon and becoming more concentrated as he approached the town limits.
He glanced over at her profile, thinking how serenely lovely she was. He supposed her pensiveness was rubbing off on him because he still couldn’t quite process the surreal twist his life had taken these past few days.
If Brant or Cisco—or Easton, even—had told him before he came back to town that he would wrap up his visit to Pine Gulch in Tess Jamison Claybourne’s bed, he would have thought it was s
ome kind of a strange, twisted joke.
Until he showed up at the ranch a few weeks ago, he honestly hadn’t thought of her much in years. He was too busy working his tail off building his business to waste much time or energy on such an unimportant—though undeniably aggravating—part of his past.
On the rare occasions when thoughts of her did filter through his mind for whatever reason, they were usually tainted with acrimony and disdain.
In these past weeks, she had become so much more to him.
Quinn let out a breath. He had tried to avoid examining those fragile, tender feelings too carefully. He appreciated her care for Jo, admired the strength she had demonstrated through her own personal tragedy, found her incredibly sexy.
He didn’t want to poke and prod more deeply than that, afraid to unravel the tangled mess of his feelings.
He did know he didn’t want to leave her or the haven he had found in her arms.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he turned down the street toward her house. For two weeks, his associates had taken the helm of Southerland Shipping. Quinn ought to be ecstatic at the idea of jumping right back into the middle of the action. Strategizing, making decisions, negotiating contracts. It was all in his blood, the one thing he found he was good at, and he had certainly missed the work while he had been at Winder Ranch.
But every time he thought about saying goodbye to Tess, he started to feel restless and uneasy and he had no idea why.
He pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine to his rented SUV.
“You probably want to be with the others,” she said, her voice low. “I don’t mind if we say goodbye now.”
Something remarkably like panic fluttered through him. “Are you that anxious to be rid of me?”
She turned wide green eyes toward him. “No. Nothing like that! I just... I assumed you would want to spend your last few hours in town with your friends,” she said, a vulnerable note to her voice that shocked him.
Though he had already said his farewells to the others when he left the house, with lots of hugs and backslapping, he considered taking the out she was offering him. Maybe he ought to just gather his few belongings from her house and head back to bunk at the ranch for the night. That made perfect sense and would help him begin the process of rebuilding all those protective walls around his emotions.
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