Worth the Wait: A Young Adult Sweet Romance (Oak Brook Academy Book 4)

by Jillian Adams

  My heart lurched, then dropped as the image of him disappeared. My eyes flew open and I took a sharp breath in the same moment that my fingernails dug into the palms of my hands.

  “So? Is it real?” Candy’s eyes locked to mine.

  “Here you go.” Oliver set a tray down in front of me.

  I reached for his hand without even thinking about it and the moment my fingertips grazed across his skin, my heart began to race.

  “You okay?” He peered at me as I drew my hand away.

  “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks for this.” I slid the tray closer to me.

  “My pleasure.” He turned his attention to Wes and began to chat about something in a class they shared.

  I couldn’t hear a single word he said over the pounding of my heart. I looked back at Candy and found a knowing smile on her lips.

  Yes, it was real. More real than I could have ever imagined. More real than anything I’d ever experienced. I pushed my tray back and stood up from the table.

  “I’m actually not very hungry.”

  “Are you sure?” Oliver looked up at me. “You didn’t eat anything.”

  “I know—sorry, my stomach is a little upset.” I backed away from the table.

  “I’ll walk you back to your room—to make sure you get there alright.” Oliver started to stand up.

  “No, thanks. I’ll be fine.” As I turned and walked away, I felt the distance between us lengthening. Which each step that carried me away from him, I felt a sharp pinprick in my heart. What had I done? What had I gotten myself into?

  When I reached the door of the cafeteria, I looked back over my shoulder.

  Oliver turned his head in the same moment and met my eyes. Even across a large space, his gaze managed to see into the depths of me. His eyes lingered for a moment, then he looked away.

  He wasn’t going to chase me this time. Not after the way that I’d treated him. Not after I’d insisted that there could never be anything between us. I’d threatened to get him into trouble if he continued to pursue me.

  I closed my eyes as I recalled that moment. I’d pushed him so far away that there likely wasn’t a way to get back.

  It was clear in my mind that I wanted to be with him, no matter what that might take. But the question was, could I handle it? Could I really forgo my rules and dive deep into a relationship with him that I’d been fighting since the first moment I’d met him?

  Now that I knew what it felt like to truly be in love, the idea of losing that feeling scared me more than dating in high school ever had. I didn’t want to spend my life regretting what might have been. I didn’t want to wake up one day in the future and realize that this was my only chance at true love.

  My stomach twisted as I came to the realization that I had to at least try. I had to give whatever existed between Oliver and me the opportunity to grow and see where it led us. The question was, after the way I’d treated Oliver, would he even still be interested?

  I recalled the words he’d spoken to me at lunch. He said he would do anything. But did he mean that? Was it just something to say? Was I reading too much into it?

  There was only one way to find out. My heart fluttered with fear as I realized that I would have to put everything on the line and risk rejection. There was no way to step cautiously into this, I would have to jump in with both feet and hope that it wasn’t already too late. But how?

  I turned back toward the cafeteria and considered the option of simply running back in and throwing myself into his arms. The very thought left me shaken. I couldn’t take a risk like that. What if he rejected me in front of everyone?

  No, if I was going to try to connect with Oliver, I had to be smart about it. I had to have a plan.

  Chapter 33

  A few hours later, I held my phone in my hand and stared at the keyboard on the screen. I’d already typed three messages only to delete them. If I wanted to test the waters, I had to say just the right thing. I didn’t want to leave myself exposed.

  Finally, I began to type a fourth message.

  You mentioned that you might be able to help Jenny. Do you want to meet up and tell me more about it?

  I read the words over. Was there any hint of why I really wanted to see him?

  Satisfied that it was vague enough, I sent the message. Then I began to pace around my bedroom.

  Would he answer? I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. I hadn’t given him any good reason to. But he’d claimed that he wanted to be friends and he’d offered to help, so I held out hope that he would.

  But how long would it take? I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. Two minutes had gone by since I’d sent the message. Had he even read it?

  I picked up my phone to make sure that the message had gone through. As I did, my phone buzzed. I looked down to read the message.

  Courtyard in five minutes?

  My heart jumped into my throat. I hadn’t expected him to answer so fast or to want to meet up so fast. A few excuses to get out of meeting him popped up in my mind.

  None would work. I’d just asked him to meet me; I couldn’t beg out of it now.

  With shaky finger, I typed out a response.

  See you there.

  Yes, that was casual enough, wasn’t it?

  I glanced in the mirror and took a minute to run my fingers through my hair. Then I thought better of it and shook it out so it would be messy again. I didn’t want to give him the impression that I’d taken the time to fix my hair before I met him. I didn’t want to give him any indication that I might actually be interested, even though just the thought of seeing him left me beside myself with eagerness.

  I let five minutes slip by, then waited for another two. As I walked down the hall toward the courtyard, I wondered if he would still be there. Would he have given up and left? Would he be annoyed that I was late?

  My mind spun with so many different thoughts that I couldn’t decide whether I was happy, terrified, or excited. All I knew for sure was that I had to keep going.

  I spotted him sitting on a bench in the middle of the courtyard. The sight of him took my breath away. Yes, there he was, within reach. I could walk up to him and tell him exactly how I felt.

  The words bubbled up in my throat, ready to be spoken. But before I could voice them, I clenched my teeth shut tight. I wouldn’t allow myself to get out of control. I had to be in charge of my emotions and take each step as cautiously as possible.

  “There you are.” He smiled as he looked at me. “I thought you might have gotten distracted.”

  “Nothing could distract me.” I sat down beside him.

  “Of course not, not with Jenny’s future on the line.”

  “Right.” I chewed on my bottom lip, then focused on my hands folded in my lap. “So, what do you think you can do for her?”

  “I have my father leaning on the admissions administrator. I’m sure that he’ll be able to convince them to let her back in.”

  “Why is he willing to help?” I met his eyes.

  “I told him it was important to me. He takes that seriously.”

  “He sounds like a wonderful father to support you that much.”

  “He is.” He cleared his throat. “When he insisted I come to America to get me away from Shauna for a little while, I thought he was cruel. But now I see why he did it.”

  “Why?” I looked over at him.

  “Because he knew that all I needed was some distance—a chance to open my eyes a little wider to see that Shauna wasn’t the person that I thought she was.” He frowned.

  “Do you really believe that?” I shifted closer to him on the bench. “Can you really let go of everything you shared so easily?”

  “She’s the one that let go, not me.” He looked back at me, his eyes narrowed. “I gave her my trust and she cheated on me. She made that choice.”

  “But you were willing to take her back.” My heart skipped a beat as I wondered if he saw me the same way he saw Shauna. I mad
e the choice to let him go. Would it be too late now for me to change my mind?

  “I was willing to take her back because I thought I was in love, Maby.” He smiled some as he looked out over the courtyard. “I remember you telling me that I couldn’t know what real love was, that I was too young. That made me so angry.” His hands curved into fists. “It hurt because I was so sure that I was in love with Shauna. But then you went ahead and proved me wrong.”

  “What do you mean?” I studied him as he turned his attention back to me.

  “I mean, you proved to me that I didn’t know what true love was. You opened my eyes wider. You showed me that I can feel something much deeper than I ever imagined.” He frowned as he shifted away from me on the bench. “I know you don’t want to hear me say that.”

  I felt the words rush up to the tip of my tongue. I could admit the truth. I could admit that I knew exactly what he meant because I felt the same way. But before I could speak them, fear took over. What if I told him and he still decided to go back to England? Could I survive that?

  As he continued to speak, I couldn’t even hear the words he said. My focus remained on the possibility that I could tell him the truth.

  “Ollie.” I placed my hand over his as I looked into his eyes.

  “Yes?” He smiled. “I like being Ollie again. I guess I’ve earned my way back into your good graces?”

  “I want to thank you for helping me. Jenny is like a sister to me and having her back by my side will make everything better.”

  “Like I said, anything for you.” He wrapped his fingers around my hand and gave it a light squeeze. “That doesn’t frighten you, does it?”

  “No.” I whispered the word as his grip tightened on my hand.

  “Maby, I have no interest in making things hard on you. You’ve made it clear what you don’t want to happen between us. I’d hoped that you were right, and that the less we saw each other, the less strongly I would feel about you. But that hasn’t happened.” He paused as he traced his fingertips along the back of my hand. “I don’t think it ever will.”

  “Ollie.” I sighed as I drew my hand back.

  “It’s alright. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” He stood up from the bench. “I’m leaving on Monday. I’ll make sure things are handled for Jenny before then.”

  “You’re leaving?” I stood up as well and reached for his hand.

  “I can’t endure this again.” He drew back from my touch. “I can’t keep the distance you want me to, and I know that’s not fair to you. So, I’ve made arrangements to go back home.”

  “Ollie, you don’t have to do that.” My heart raced at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

  “It’s for the best. For both of us.” He frowned as he studied me. “I just can’t let you go and I don’t want to be a reason for stress in your life. I don’t want to be someone that’s holding you back from what you really want.” He shook his head. “If I’ve learned anything from all this, it’s that no matter how I feel, I can’t make anyone else feel the same way.” He licked his lips, then met my eyes. “In fact, I think it’s probably best if we let this be the last time we talk. Otherwise, it may be too hard for me to go.”

  “Ollie, it doesn’t have to be like this.” I tried to catch his hand again, but he took a step back before I could.

  “It does. I’m afraid it does.” He sighed. “I wish it didn’t have to be. I wish I was strong enough to ignore these feelings and be the friend that you deserve, but I’m just not. I’m sorry.” He turned and walked off across the courtyard.

  Chapter 34

  It felt as if my feet were bolted into the cobblestones beneath me. My body yearned to go after him, but my feet refused to cooperate. I opened my mouth to call out, but all that came out was a strangled squeak.

  What could I say? Oops? I was wrong?

  As my mind spun with panic, a part of me realized that Oliver was right. He was right to walk away. It was what I’d wanted from the first moment I’d realized that I had feelings for him. I wanted to be free of all of it and would have done anything to avoid facing the truth. I wanted to be angry with him for walking away, but the truth was, he was doing it as a kindness. Even in his heartbreak, he thought of me first.

  My stomach twisted with the knowledge that if he had just tried to kiss me, I would have given in and kissed him. I would have told him the truth. But he hadn’t, probably out of respect for me. Somehow that made everything so much worse.

  I sank back down on the bench and closed my eyes as tears brewed within them. Yes, I was in high school. Yes, I still had a lot to learn about life and relationships. But none of that could convince me that the searing pain that ached through me wasn’t real. It was the most real thing I’d ever experienced and I felt as if it might overtake me.

  I gripped the edge of the stone bench as tight as I could. As the rough surface dug into my skin, I thought about all the times that I’d felt out of control in my life, all of the ways that I’d hidden from any real emotions.

  I’d listened to my mother’s advice and avoided the pitfalls of romance. I’d also watched all my friends pair up and experience a kind of bliss that I couldn’t even imagine. While I’d advised them through their difficult times, I always felt lucky not to be wrapped up in the drama that they were experiencing.

  But now, I wished I could be more like them. I wished that I’d never fought the feelings that I had for Oliver. If only I’d been more open to the idea, I might have been able to experience something phenomenal. Instead, I only knew how terrible it felt to think about saying goodbye to him.

  It dawned on me just then that I hadn’t even said goodbye. He’d walked away and I hadn’t even been able to say those words to him. He deserved so much more.

  “No, I can’t let this happen.” I stood up from the bench and looked in the direction that he’d walked. It didn’t matter if his tickets had already been purchased, if he’d already made whatever arrangements were needed, I had to get to him before he left the country. Not just get to him but get through to him. I had to prove to him that I felt the same way about him and that our relationship was worth staying for.

  I couldn’t just walk up to him empty-handed. I had to do something to really get his attention, to really convince him that I meant what I said. But in order to do that, I would need some help.

  As I hurried back to my dorm room, I knew that I needed my friends more than I ever had. I just hoped that they would be willing to help.

  When I burst into my dorm room, I found Fifi there, her nose buried in one of her favorite books.

  She dropped it the moment she saw me.

  “Maby? What’s wrong?” The urgency in her voice made it clear that I must have looked wild.

  I felt wild. I felt panicked as I thought about the possibility that Oliver might leave the country before I ever had the chance to tell him the truth, before I had the chance to find out if there could be something real between us.

  “Fi!” I gasped out her name as I sank down on the sofa. “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

  “Maby, just breathe.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. We’ll figure it out together, okay?” She tried to meet my eyes. “It’s going to be just fine.”

  “No, I don’t think it will be.” I winced as tears began to slide down my cheeks. “I think it’s too late. I’ve messed everything up.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second.” She cupped my cheeks and looked into my eyes. “Take a deep breath, we’re going to figure it out.”

  As I finally met her eyes and took the deep breaths she told me to, all my fears rushed to the surface.

  “I just didn’t want to get hurt, Fi. I just wanted to protect myself. I didn’t realize how foolish I was being.”

  “This is about Oliver, isn’t it?” Her eyes widened. “Oh, Maby, you poor thing.” She hugged me tighter.

  “He’s going back to England, Fi. I’ll never see him again.�
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  “Sh. Don’t worry about that now.” She stroked my hair. “He’s not going to go anywhere without you.”

  “What do you mean?” I pulled back far enough to look at her.

  “I mean, you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling. I can see by the way he looks at you that he feels the same way about you. All you have to do is tell him.”

  “No, I don’t think that will be enough.” I pulled away from her and began to pace back and forth throughout the room. “I need to do something to get his attention, to prove that I really do feel the way I say I do. Otherwise he’ll never believe me.”

  “I just don’t think that’s true. You don’t need to prove yourself to him.” Fifi caught my hand and stopped me from pacing. “All you have to do is tell him the truth and he’s going to be thrilled.”

  “You weren’t there.” I frowned as I looked at her. “You didn’t see him walk away. I did. I’ve had so many chances to tell him the truth and instead, I’ve lied through my teeth. He’s not going to believe me. He’s going to tell me it’s too late and go back to England and then I’ll be left here, heartbroken and alone.”

  “You won’t be alone.” Fifi hugged me. “Not ever. If you want to do something to prove yourself, then I’ll help you. But I really don’t think you have to.”

  “I’ve been trying to come up with something that will be just right.” I sighed as I sat back down on the sofa. “Something special that will remind him of our connection.”

  “Maybe a special moment you shared?” Fifi sat down next to me. “Was there a time when you realized how you really felt?”

  “At the stables!” I jumped back up. “That’s it! It needs to be at the stables. He rescued me and we stood in the rain together.” I glanced out the window. “It’s sunny out, but it will have to do. Now I just need to think of a way to get him there.”

  “Maybe Aaron would help us?” Fifi pursed her lips. “I’ll bet he would, if we asked.”