FRACTAL

by Tony Ortiz

  I reached into my bag and started pulling out supplements and putting them on the desk.

  You know what all of these have in common, I asked?

  They won't give you roid-rage? Charlie said.

  They all have Trancetol in them.

  What? Jake said as he sat up and grabbed one.

  Charlie did the same and started reading through the ingredients on the label.

  These are over the counter supplements though, aren't they? Jake asked.

  Yup, exactly. This shit is far more widespread than we ever knew about. It's not just tens of thousands of people that are prescribed Trancetol anymore. There are millions that are essentially micro-dosing by taking supplements like these. The majority of which don't even know they're taking it.

  Sorry sons of bitches probably never even get to discover skipping, said Charlie.

  So you're still solo-skipping? Jake asked.

  Actually, Trancetol was one of my first solo-skips. I got into it after reading through some of your archived work. I quit all the other solo-skips, but honestly, I couldn't let this one go.

  I get it. I wouldn't have been able to either, Jake responded after a long pause.

  I know it's an impenetrable and all, and I honestly don't see a way it can be eradicated either, but I thought you should know about these supplements. Who knows, maybe we can at least slow it down.

  We? Charlie asked. So you've decided to come back after the suspension?

  You know I couldn't stay away from your ugly mug much longer bro, I responded. I'm going to get going guys.

  Stay for dinner tonight, Jake said.

  Nah bro, I can't today but I'll see you guys again soon. I just wanted to drop this stuff off. I started walking away, towards the door and bumped into Laura who was on her way back from the kitchen area.

  Hey, she said surprised to see me.

  Hey Laura.

  Are you ok? I've called and text you a bunch of times since you left.

  Yea, I know. Sorry about that but with everything that was going on ... I guess, I just had to get away from everything.

  Oh. I guess I didn't realize I was a source of such anguish for you.

  You're really not. It's just that —

  You don't have to explain anything to me, she said as she started to walk past me, I'll see you around.

  I reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her from going.

  Laura wait. Look, you're right. I should've responded to you, and I shouldn't have left the way I did. I was just so pissed off and in my feelings about the whole thing. I honestly didn't know if I was coming back but I did know that I couldn't bare saying bye to you. My way of dealing was just to isolate myself.

  You wouldn't have to say bye Hector. If you didn't shut us all out you would've seen that we had your back. I argued to lower the suspension.

  I know. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry.

  Don't do that to me again, ok?

  I won't.

  Pinky promise? She said while lifting her pinky up towards me.

  Pinky promise, I responded while wrapping mine around hers.

  I really missed you she said as she took a step closer towards me.

  She put her arms up and around my shoulders to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Holding her felt as fulfilling as comfort. I remember thinking that she smelled like every gratifying aroma I've ever smelled, simultaneously combined into one scent.

  I like having you around mister, she whispered.

  And I like giving you what you like, I whispered back half jokingly.

  We each pulled back while gazing into each others eyes, and then ... Brooke walked into the corridor we were in. Instantly realizing that we expected to be alone right then.

  Oh, hi guys. I'm so sorry, she said.

  Hey Brooke, no worries, I responded. How are you?

  Good thanks, nice to see you around again.

  Need help with that? Laura asked her about the tray and bag she was carrying.

  No, no, let me just squeeze by here, and get out of your hair she responded while smiling at Laura and giving her an inside look. Take care guys.

  Later, I said.

  See you in a bit, responded Laura.

  With that, Laura turned her attention back towards me and said: “well slick, I'm going to let you go but I better see you again soon.”

  Oh, most definitely, I responded, as she began to let go of my hand while I watched her walk away. Then I left.

  Brooke was making her rounds, taking everyone's lunch order and passed by Jake’s station. He was still discussing the OTC pills with Charlie.

  Hey guys, we’re going with Chinese today. What's your poison? Brooke asked.

  Order me anything please, responded Jake without looking up from the pill ingredient label he was reading.

  Yea, I'll get whatever I got last time, Charlie responded.

  Ok sounds good, said Brooke. What's up with all the secretive eagerness though? What are you guys working on?

  Remember Trancetol? Jake asked her.

  That drug that stops people from skipping? Sure. Isn't it an impenetrable though? Brooke asked.

  It is, responded Jake, but we just found out it's in OTC supplements too.

  The shit’s everywhere, said Charlie. Look, he said as he handed her a bottle.

  Oh my god, Brooke responded.

  Then she scanned the rest of the table and saw a Brain Sharp bottle. It was the supplement Miguel gave her to take. She quickly grabbed it and started reading the ingredients. Sure enough, there it was, Trancetol. She dropped the bottle, and fainted. Charlie caught her before she hit the ground, and laid her down gently. Jake grabbed a couch cushion to put under her head. Moments later when she came to, Charlie, Jake and Laura were all kneeling around her.

  Brooke, talk to me, said Laura as she fanned her with a magazine.

  Brooke sat up, looked around and said; that mother-fucker lied.

  Who lied? Asked Laura.

  Miguel, she responded. He's been giving me Trancetol and I didn't even know it.

  What? How? Asked Jake.

  That Brain Sharp shit. He's been telling me to take it because it might help me be able to skip again. But it's doing the opposite. I'm going to kill him.

  Why the hell would he want to do that? Asked Laura.

  Yea, it makes no sense said Charlie.

  You don't believe me? I have the latest bottle he gave me in my room.

  We believe you Brooke, Jake responded, we just don't get what his rationale is. Why would he willingly handicap his own team? We really could've used you on the latest skips.

  I think I know why, said Brooke. I mean, I didn’t make a connection until now but ... Look, it’s no secret that I haven’t been able to skip for almost a year now. I’m not supposed to be here anymore. I shouldn’t be part of the team. The only reason I am is because ... I give him information.

  What kind of information Brooke? Asked Laura.

  Information about you guys.

  What?! Asked Jake

  You’ve been spying on us? Charlie asked.

  No, it’s not like that -

  What’s it like then Brooke? Asked Jake.

  You guys know how much I love it here, we all do. How much I love you guys, we’re family. One day I was at my station and I knew my time was running out. I was just waiting for Miguel to pass by, tap me on the shoulder and say; “times up kid.” I knew how long it had been since my last skip. I wasn’t useful to him anymore. I wasn’t a resource.

  Yea, being a snitch is really resourceful, said Charlie.

  Easy Charlie, responded Laura.

  Let her finish, said Jake.

  Really Charlie? What would you do if you couldn’t skip anymore and Miguel asked you to leave? I highly doubt you’d be running back to your cousin’s place in Brooklyn so enthusiastically. Anyways, as I was saying, he did pass by my station but asked me to go over to his when I had a chance. So I did. It felt like I was walking into th
e sun. Like my existence was melting away with each step that I took towards him. When I got there, I hadn’t noticed but I was already balling. The tears were streaming down my face.

  Stop crying Brooke. He told me in a matter of fact way.

  I’m so sorry, it’s just that ... can’t it come back? I know I belong here. I have nowhere else.

  When was the last time you were able to skip, Brooke?

  5 months ago I think.

  It's been 9. You know it's never come back after that long of a time. 4-6 months is the longest gap on record.

  But I have to get it back. I’ll do anything. I have nothing, nobody without it. Please take a chance on me Miguel. This isn’t supposed to happen to me. I’ve always taken it seriously and I put in the work. Extra work even.

  That is true Brooke, and nobody can ever take that away from you. But you know there’s nothing we can do about your ability. Once it goes away, it goes away for good. We’ve never kept anyone on after that. You know we don’t have the resources to do so. Unless ...

  I perked up in anticipation and said: “I’ll do anything Miguel, just tell me how to earn my keep. Please just don’t get rid of me.”

  The only way to offset the cost, is if you’re willing to take care of most of the teams chores, freeing them up to focus more on going back and putting in the work. Things like cleaning, food, etc.

  I can do that, yes. Please Miguel, yes, sign me up.

  There is still monitoring you can do as well, Brooke.

  What? How?

  Not by skipping back, but in real time. In person. You’ll be the eyes and ears of this place. Reporting directly and only to me.

  You want me to spy on everyone? Laura? Jake? Charlie?

  No, no. We’re family. But we will have new members. New additions. As the team grows, I’ll be going back more and more and continuing to do recruiting outreach. I need to make sure we maintain and stick to our missions. I can’t be everywhere at once, so think of yourself as an extension of me. Would you want someone coming in here and setting back the progress that we’ve made?

  No, of course not. That makes sense. I can do it.

  You don’t seem so sure. If you’re having doubts, maybe we shouldn’t go this route. I don’t want to push you into something that makes you uncomfortable. You’re like a sister to me.

  No, it’s fine, I’m sorry. I’m just so emotional right now. Of course you can count on me.

  Great. Don’t worry about the rest of the team by the way. I’ll explain you staying on to all of them. I’m sure they won’t resent you for it and heck, they’ll probably be happy not to have to take turns cooking on Sunday’s anymore.

  Ha ha. If nothing else I’ll be saving us all from Charlie’s meatloaf casserole.

  That alone might be worth it, responded Miguel jokily. Okay lets try it for a few weeks and see how it goes. Just keep me in mind if you hear of anything off-mission.

  Absolutely, you can count on me. Thank you so much Miguel.

  And that’s how it went down. That’s why I’m still here, Brooke said to the team as they listened intently.

  My meatloaf casserole is not that bad, said Charlie.

  It’s literally the worst thing any of us have ever eaten, said Jake making everyone laugh.

  So what have you told him about us? Asked Laura getting everyone back on topic.

  I don’t know, general things really. Your schedules, what you ate—

  What we ate? Asked Charlie. That’s sick.

  Brooke sighed and continued; he wanted to know if Jake was being lenient on anyone or actually monitoring things.

  Son of a bitch, said Laura as she turned to Jake; Did you know about any of this?

  Not a thing, responded Jake. Not a damn thing. And I think we know where we stand with him now.

  You think that’s why he recruited those subpar rookies? To play us against each other, Charlie asked.

  I wouldn’t put it passed him. Not anymore, said Jake.

  The other thing is that he told me there’s a chance I’d be able to get my skip-ability back.

  What? How? Asked Charlie.

  He said something about hooking up with some Doctor Scientist character and that he told him about an experimental drug that is supposed to increase the chances of skipping. It’s not a guarantee and the expected benefits only surface in the long term if it’s used consistently.

  Interesting. What’s the drug called? Asked Jake.

  It's that Brain Sharp crap that now I know has Trancetol in it.

  Right then, Miguel walked in.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  You gave me fucking Trancetol?! Brooke blurted out.

  What? What are you talking about? Miguel responded. What's going on here?

  We need an emergency team meeting, right now Jake said sternly as he pointed and walked toward the conference room.

  Ok, let's round up the rest of the guys, said Miguel.

  Nah man, said Charlie, he meant the real team.

  They walked into the conference room, and Miguel followed behind them.

  Does someone want to clue me in on what's going on? Miguel asked.

  I can't skip anymore and it's your fault, not mine, said Brooke.

  Have you been setting us up for something all these years? Asked Charlie soon after.

  Jake just stared at Miguel from across the table, with a stone cold stoic demeanor that he couldn't hide if he wanted to. Laura’s approach was more forgiving and level headed:

  Okay look, Brooke hasn't been able to skip for some time now, and we recently found out that Trancetol is not just a prescribed drug, but rather an ingredient found in a slew of OTC supplements.

  What?! Responded Miguel in disbelief.

  That's right. Laura continued, and one of those is Brain Sharp, which you gave Brooke, on the pretense that it would actually help her skippability, when we know it actually does the opposite. What's going on?

  First of all, this OTC supplement thing is news to me. But you're right about me giving Brooke Trancetol, responded Miguel with little remorse in his voice.

  How could you do that to me Miguel?

  It was for the team.

  The team? Asked Jake. A team is supposed to discuss things. Agree on things together. We didn't even know about it, let alone ask for any of this.

  This is a team, but I'm the head of it and none of you have ever been obligated to stay here, replied Miguel. If there's a play that's in the long-term interest of the team, I'm making it. This team is bigger than all of us. Period.