by Elissa Daye
She thought of the secret of Blackwolf Keep, whose people hid away from the world outside while their fear of outsiders kept them tightly knit inside the walls of the keep. She struggled to shake off the sadness she felt when she thought of the silver wolf that led the pack. Her Aiden, who was ruggedly handsome by the light of day and fiercely wild by the light of the moon, yet she never feared the beast within. He would never physically hurt her, but sometimes there were worse things.
He had returned to Blackwolf Keep after Anna’s tirade. He had dealt with the men who were about to rape her, but she had never seen him deal with the woman who had created the problem, never addressed her treachery. He had simply returned and everything was as it always had been. Then he had announced their marriage without even asking her if she was amenable to the relationship. In fact, he had never asked her what she wanted. From the first moment he had laid eyes on her he had acted as her puppeteer, watching every movement she made, controlling every action, every moment, but he would never have control over her emotions. Did he even care what she thought, what fueled her dreams at night? Did he know the things that haunted her mind every day? Would that ever matter to him?
It was her lineage that made her fall so deeply. When the Adrianic woman fell for her mate there was no turning back. Even in the deepest part of her she knew that no matter how many questions she had about their relationship, no matter how many concerns weighed heavily on her shoulders, her love would hold her fast to her bonds with Aiden. She could stay here forever, hiding in a world where no one would find her, or she could return to the life that she was supposed to be living.
She sighed and shook her head. Maybe her mother was right. It was time to return home. Time to face her life no matter how hard it might seem. She wished it were that easy. As much as she loved Aiden she was terrified of living near him without his love. She was like an unwatered flower in a garden with lifeless leaves crumbling against the wind. Without his love would she wither away too? How could she find the courage to face him when she was afraid of the feelings she had for him? She called out to him, a whisper cast along the breeze, wishing above all else to get some kind of sign, a direction that would lead her home.
A shuffle of leaves came from behind her and shook her from her melancholy reverie. She turned slowly to the sound. She caught his scent long before she saw him, and when she expected to see his tall body in front of her, she was surprised. It was Aiden, the wolf. His hazel eyes pierced her to the core and the sad tilt of his head beckoned her closer. His tail dropped slowly to the ground and the rest of him followed. He laid his head on his paws and looked up with eyes that shared a depth of emotion she had never seen before. Aiden was in pain. She did not know the cause of the pain she saw reflected in his eyes, but she had to get closer to him.
She sat down next to him and put a hand on his back. She felt the rise and fall of his chest, the beat of his heart that vibrated against her palm. When a whimper came deep from within him, she hugged him as close as she could without choking him.
“Aiden, my love. Why are you hurting?” She stroked his soft silver fur and closed her eyes. While he was all beast in front of her she smelled the leather and wood of the man she had held so close to her before.
The wolf did not answer. He was incapable of speaking, but when he placed his head in her lap she sensed a peace coursing through her. He raised his head further and stared deep into her eyes. The message was clear. Aiden needed her. He may not know what love was just yet, but there was something stirring beneath the walls he had built around him. She looked away, then dashed her hands at the tears creeping from her eyes. She knew at once that it was time to go home. She hugged him one last time before closing her eyes. She felt the world go dark and reached for the only lifeline she had left.
Her fingers collided with a solid wall and she curled them back tentatively as her eyes forced open the heavy lids. They opened slowly like the eyes of a newly born animal struggling to let in the light without being blinded by its rays. Her eyes adjusted slowly to the light pouring in from the window across the room. It was the light of a new day, and while she felt weak from her head to her toes, she felt alive. She ran a finger along Aiden’s back and smiled as his reflexes sent him closer to her. She breathed in his scent and felt a tingle rise within her.
Lysandra snuggled up next to him, not even noticing her own nakedness before her nipples rubbed gently against his back. The friction of the movement sent a shaft of desire straight through her. It had been too long since Aiden had last made love to her and the desire within her clashed against the weariness of her soul. She wrapped a hand around his body and ran it lovingly down his torso as she memorized the hard, chiseled lines with her fingertips. She closed her eyes and every inch of his body flashed against the back of her eyelids. She felt her heart skip a beat when her hand rested just below his abdomen. Would he waken before her exploration was through? She let her fingers walk slowly down the cluster of hair between his legs and was pleased to find that his member was starting to swell in reaction to her caresses. She wrapped her fingers around his length and squeezed firmly. She felt it rise to new lengths as she let it fill her hand. When she started the small strokes that she knew drove Aiden to distraction a hand clasped over hers. Before she knew it she was laying on her back with Aiden’s glowing eyes reading every inch of her face.
“You’re awake.”
The relief on his face sent a shiver of happiness through her. It was a small victory, but she would take it. “So are you.” Lysandra brought her hands back to his body, but he grabbed them swiftly.
“You’re weak, Lysandra. You need to rest.” There was worry in his voice.
“I’ve had enough rest, Aiden. It’s time to live again.” She rubbed her body closer to his and felt a frisson of desire run through him, yet he remained aloof.
“Lysandra.”
“Aiden.” She mimicked the command in his voice.
He moved further away from her and she could feel the cold creeping up through the air between them. He ran a hand along her temple and seemed to breathe freely when he pulled it away. Lysandra grabbed his hand and placed it firmly on her chest. She felt his fingers move delicately over her nipple and sensed the silent battle he was fighting within. She read the raw desire in his eyes and arched against his hand in an effort to melt the fears floating between them. They would always have this, no matter how mixed up the emotions were between them, they would never worry about the passion they shared for each other.
It did not take long for Aiden to surrender to her siren’s song, for even she had known he was damned the moment her hand brought life to his body. He captured her mouth in his teeth and murmured against her lips. A fire grew slowly in her blood; every part of her body hummed a delicious melody that only Aiden knew how to play. His mouth trailed down her neck and he nibbled her throat deliciously while growling into her skin. She knew the turmoil within him quite well. He needed her, much more than either one of them could understand, but he fought against the beastly passion hidden beneath the surface.
She did not want the slow adoration of his mouth. The heat between them was building much faster than either one had anticipated. While Aiden had every intention of being gentle with her, her passion sent him careening over the edge of sanity. She wrapped her hand around his length and moved her body so close to his that nothing separated them from the heated desire flowing through them. She charmed him closer to her and opened her legs invitingly for him.
“Please, Aiden.” Her whisper breached the distance between them and whatever sentiment had kept him away from her dissolved in no time as he entered her swiftly. She let out a hiss that turned into a painful moan. She closed her eyes and lights exploded in the darkness. Her body swallowed him so close inside her that she thought he would melt into her if she gave him the chance. She shuddered against him as he continued to plunge into the depths of her. Molten lava echoed around them, boiling every inch of their bodi
es. It had never been so fierce between them, so fierce that the intensity made the world spin dizzily out of control. Her stomach tightened painfully and deliciously at the same time as another wave of release hit her. Pleasuring depths of tidal waves flowed through her and she felt like she would never breathe again.
Aiden rocked into her one last time before the air was sucked from his lungs as well. He collapsed at her side, breathing heavily from his release as her legs continued to softly shake next to him.
“Lysandra.” It was the most delicate sound he had ever made, almost like a tentative plea.
“Yes, Aiden?” She longed to hear the words that would set her free, the only words that would make her feel whole again.
“Welcome home.”
Lysandra felt the tears gather in her eyes as she whispered back to him. “Yes. Home.” Sadness entered her once again, but her courage to survive the distress that his words inflicted fought its way to the surface. She would not give up on him. That was the easy way out. Her mother had not raised her to take any path that was not fraught with challenge. Aiden’s love would be well worth the challenge.
Chapter 29
Lysandra was surprised to see so many happy faces enter her room. She had only been up for a day, but half of Blackwolf had already found a way to filter into her room. Some of them had brought flowers and other pleasant little gifts that she had never expected. A smile lit up each face as she listened to the happenings of the past week, how life was thriving within the keep. Lysandra was especially happy to hear that the damage from Terryn’s attack had easily been repaired.
The best visit of all was from Thomas, the tiny squire who worked with Aiden on a daily basis. She had noticed him underneath the shadow of the men as they practiced. He was taking in every action, listening to every word the soldiers said. He was tiny for his age, but Lysandra could tell he was quick. As she laid a hand on his, an image flashed suddenly in her mind. She saw the peril he had been in when Terryn’s men attacked, the fear that had raced through his heart as he picked up a long sword for the first time. He was terrified of the battle, but he was ready to give his life for his home. She admired that greatly in him, but she saw something else too. Thomas loved animals more than anything else in the world. His parents had expected him to be a soldier, as great pride would shine on the family for his dedication to Lord Aiden. Lysandra smiled at him and suddenly realized a new purpose here at Blackwolf. She would set things straight. “Thomas?”
“Yes, my lady?” He looked up at her through shy eyes and glanced over at Lord Aiden sitting in the chair beside her bed.
“I believe I should tell Lord Aiden about your purpose at Blackwolf.”
“I’m sorry?” He looked at her with confusion lighting his eyes.
“My lord, may I speak freely to you?” Lysandra looked to Aiden for permission. He nodded quietly to her. “This boy here is not a fighter. I don’t care how much glory the title of squire gives this poor child, but I’ll not have it an instant longer.” Aiden and Thomas both gave her blank stares. She stifled a chuckle at their confusion. “I have it on good authority that Master Kieran needs a good stable boy right now. The mares are about to foal and he’ll need someone to help with their births. This child here is a natural with the animals. Just ask him.”
“Is this true, Thomas?” Aiden spoke with intrigue. How had he missed the signs? He had known that Thomas was ill-suited for battle, but he was never one to stop another from pursuing whatever path they chose within the keep.
Thomas looked down at the ground as a red flush started to fill his face. “Well…”
“Please do stop mumbling, Thomas. Your lord has asked you a question.” Lysandra could not help prodding the boy further.
“Yes, Lord Aiden. I do like working with the animals.”
He tried to extract his hands from hers, but she would not allow it. “There is no shame in caring for other living beings, Thomas. Sometimes they need people to protect them when they cannot protect themselves. You are a brave fighter, but your heart is somewhere else. Do tell me what animals you are watching over right now.”
“A litter of kittens were birthed here recently. I’ve been checking in on them every morning and evening. Their mama is mighty fierce with protecting them, but she’ll let me see them when I come in.”
“Kittens?” Lysandra raised an eyebrow at the boy. “Perhaps Lord Aiden will assist me in seeing them? I would so love to get out of this room for a moment. Would you promise to take good care of them until I can venture down?”
“Yes, my lady, as long as it does not interfere with my chores.”
Lysandra looked over at Aiden, her eyebrow raised in askance. “Thomas, it seems to me that your duties may have to change immediately. If my lady wants those kittens to be well taken care of I’m sure I can trust none other than you for the job. When that is done, you’re to report to Master Kieran in the stables.”
A carefree glance passed over his face for a moment before a sad cloud covered it. “But my folks, they were so counting on me being your squire, Lord Aiden.” The mumbled words tore at her heart and she was pleased to see concern etched in Aiden’s eyes.
“Bah. Honor and glory is gained in any job you do well, Thomas. I’ll be sure to talk to your parents. They’ll see that following your own path is always to be respected.”
“Thank you, my lord!” The relief that ran through him shone in his eyes. There was an excited glow around him and it made Lysandra’s heart melt to see the childlike face return to peace. When she released his hand she was sure the fear he carried within was suddenly set free. He raced out of the room as fast as his little legs would carry him.
Lysandra looked over at Aiden and smiled. “Thank you.”
Aiden was taken aback for a moment. How had she known about Thomas? He had never really seen her near him, never seen her talk to him. “Me? You may have just helped me save his life. It’s me who should be thankful.”
Lysandra attempted to comprehend what Aiden was telling her. It was clear that he loved his people, but it was becoming even clearer to her that there was so much more underneath that she had not seen before. He cared deeply about Thomas, something she had not expected. She wondered why she had not seen him this way before. He had always been kind and fair to others around him, but she had never seen this soft spot. She promised herself that she would learn to see Aiden for who he really was, not for what she thought he was. Understanding him might be the only key to unlocking his heart.
When Aiden finally let Lysandra up from her bed she felt like running through a meadow, but she knew that while she felt better she would have to take her recovery slowly. She tried to hide wobbly legs from his piercing stare, but she failed miserably. He was about to send her back to bed when she raised a warning hand to him. “If you make me get back in that bed, Aiden, so help me I will scratch your eyes out.” The way Aiden looked at her she could tell his mind had gone somewhere she had not initially intended. “Never mind. I won’t use claws at all. I think you’d like that too much.”
Aiden swatted her backside softly and chuckled. “Get moving before I change my mind, minx.”
Lysandra spent the day sitting in the bailey watching the people of Blackwolf Keep move about their day. She was greeted merrily by the people and was still shocked by how accepting they were. She had thought they would like to cast her to the gallows after the huge display of magic, but it was quite the opposite. It was almost as if she did not have to hide who she was from the world for the first time in her entire life. They appreciated the secret that she kept buried deep, for they had a secret of their own. Now that Aiden had come to her in wolf form twice they had realized that Lysandra knew their secret as well. If their lord and leader trusted her with the curse they could trust her as well.
Lysandra spent the next two days in the bailey when weather permitted. She smiled at the men as they carried supplies from the wagons, goods that Blackwolf had traded the night before. Bla
ckwolf was nothing if not prosperous, for anything that could possibly be needed was supplied to them. Lysandra had learned that the cotton from the sheep, the cherry liquor made from cherries harvested from the grove outside the castle walls, and the fine horses bred from Blackwolf’s fine stock had kept commerce lines open between other kingdoms.
Chapter 30
When Aiden trusted her to be alone Lysandra sought out the healing quiet of the gardens. The flowers had started to bloom once again as the rains had brought life to their roots. The rain had fallen for several days when Lysandra had slumbered. Layla told her it was as if the gods mourned in sadness while Aiden pleaded for her to return back to them. She smirked at the comment and looked away. Aiden, pleading? Never.
Lysandra sat and listened to the wind whispering to her. The last time it had spoken to her it had warned her about the coming attacks, but this time it was a balm that soothed the fitful emotions that rushed through her. Aiden had been gentle with her, gentler than he ever had. While she did not deny him the right to give her this attention, she felt trapped within his guilt. She did not want him to be nice to her out of guilt. She wanted his heart, his joy, and his sorrows. She wanted his night, his days, and every moment that existed in between. She yearned to be part of it all. She steeled herself silently, knowing that helping Aiden find the meaning of love would likely break her heart several times over before she heard the words she longed to hear.
She turned to see that she was no longer alone. Layla, Millie, April, and Brenda approached her silently. “My lady, we thought we might join you.”