Lamekis

by Charles de Fieux

  Lamekis and Clemelis

  Motacoa finished there and I started crying bitterly. “Don’t take it so hard,” he said, “there’s nothing we can do against the eternal gods. Submission is always the best way to make them well disposed. You have found another father in me and I will never abandon you. Nothing will please me more than to show my constant love for you.” In fact, the good-hearted Motacoa kept his word and it is not his fault that I am not the happiest of all men.

  A few days later Boldeon came, followed by the most important men of the kingdom. His strategy was a great success. Boldeon had appealed enough to finally assemble the states. Once assembled he told them Nasildaë’s story, proved her innocence and boasted about the great, royal qualities of her son, whom he called the legitimate ruler. After this prelude, he boldly asked to have his privileges returned, which had been unjustly stripped away. Following a long deliberation they appointed wise delegates to verify Boldeon’s story. They found everything like he said and made their report. Consequently, Motacoa was recognized as the Houcaïs.

  He told me this himself and said that of all the wonderful things that had happened to him, to be raised to this highest honor was one of the greatest. I thanked the Heavens for so much goodness and to make myself worthy I became closer and closer to the kind King who was so generous on his throne.

  The new Houcaïs was welcomed by the states with sincere and spirited joy. His first act was to promote Boldeon and Lodaï to the highest offices of the empire. The second was to get rid of the barbarous law that banished all whites. The third was to give me an education that would make me chief minister in case the post was vacant.

  Of all the subjects I could study, I was mainly attracted to Philosophy. I liked it so much that it took me no time at all to make considerable progress. I devoted myself to it entirely and I spent all my time at it, except for when I was with my kind Sovereign. I was constantly alone in the midst of a brilliant Court. It’s even more surprising when you think that there were all kinds of pleasures everywhere. The gentle Houcaïs never grew tired of proving to his beautiful wife his loyalty and passion, but I carefully avoided all pleasures. The farther I went in the study of wisdom, the less I was interested in these dull pleasures. Sometimes I asked myself how you could waste your precious time, which you will never have again, in such empty, frivolous amusements! Isn’t it committing yourself to a world that death destroys? If we were born for heavenly things why do we spend all our time on earthly things?

  That was how I thought in that wonderful time and I would be happy if I had kept thinking like that! But alas, we have only one mind to stand up against the myriad of passions that haunt us. Is it any wonder that its voice is so often muffled by the blaring commotion, especially once you are unlucky enough to have let it into your heart?

  I chose the loneliest, most secluded place in the palace to do my work. The only break I took was to look up to the Heavens sometimes to admire and adore the Creator. Up to then no physical experience had distracted me from the sublime heights—and I thanked the Heavens from the bottom of my heart. In studying man I learned about the different passions that he so often falls prey to and I saw myself as almost predestined to know them only in name. Who would have believed that after reaching that age with firm and enlightened sentiments I would have been struck down so easily as I’m about to tell you?

  Ah, sovereign Vilkonhis, obviously you allowed it to prove to me that man is nothing and your almighty grandeur has no equal. Love came to trouble my calm, to overthrow my philosophy and cause the tragedies of my life that would last until today.

  One day while I was deep in study of an important passage about the principle of man before his creation, I was distracted by a soft, silvery song that struck me to the bottom of my heart. I looked up quickly and saw an open room with two women: the younger was singing while the older was brushing her hair, but from where I was sitting I could not see their faces. In all my life I had never dreamed of a woman—the moment had come. I shuddered without knowing why and it devastated my heart.

  I was embarrassed by what I felt and I knew that it was the beginning of trouble that I had to resist. I lowered my eyes and got back to work, but it was no good. As much as I wanted to, I could not fight the relentless distraction. My mind was a jumble and could not produce a single coherent idea. A powerful magnet was tugging at my eyes. I could do nothing about it—they were naturally drawn to the window. My mind could hold them in check for a little while, and when they slipped away, they saw nothing. Up until then I was still conquering temptation.

  But the voice suddenly stopped singing and I could not help wanting to know why. Heavens, what a state I was in! I was blinded by a face more beautiful than the dawn. A young woman fashioned by the Graces was fixing her hair, which was blacker than a crow, around her forehead. The curves of her upraised arm were seductive in their natural beauty. Oh Sinouis, what was happening to me? Why didn’t I run? But why run? Was it a crime to admire what the Heavens had created for our pleasure? I stayed there fixed in admiration. My study of morals and my reason tried in vain to tell me that to run away was a victory under such conditions. I was not listening. I gave myself up to the allure of admiring. Ah! It felt too good.

  However, the young woman looked over and saw me staring at her. She jumped like she was caught off guard, blushed and ran away. All this happened in an instant. And right afterward my reason took over and despite the charm, perhaps I would have left first, but with what had just happened the excitement that I had almost rid myself of came back to me. I sighed for the loss of my pleasure and I wished it would return. While waiting for it I did not take my eyes off the charming spot where it had appeared.

  More than two hours went by without the stranger reappearing. I ended up listening carefully for any movement in the room that might tell me she was still there. She showed up a second time. Was it a premeditated plan to finish me off or simply chance? She was wearing yellow gossamer through which I could see the outline of her body and the color was chosen to make her whiteness stand out. Oh Heavens! I was enraptured by her charms, but I would pay dearly for such pleasures. The stranger left as embarrassed as the first time and I stayed there like a statue in cold blood.

  More than eight days went by without her reappearing at the window. I had the patience to stay by mine the whole time hoping that she would show up again. And I was torn apart by my wretched impatience. There was nothing I could do to get her venomous picture out of my heart. There was even less I could do to get that stupid poison of seductive charms out of my head. I struggled in vain, but the harder I fought, the more the wound bled. Nothing could stop it.

  Despite Motacoa’s serious occupations to organize a group in the kingdom to get the Queen back on the throne of the Amphicleocles, which rightfully belonged to her, despite, I say, how busy he was with these concerns, through his friendship for me he noticed my changing mood and behavior. My present silence made him think that I was exhausted from too much studying, so he encouraged me to find some good company where young people dream all the time of finding new pleasures in order to share them. I would gradually lose the black and melancholic mood that was clouding me. I owed him so much. He explained things so as not to be disobeyed without being disrespectful, so I promised to do what he said. Could I do any less for a Prince to whom I owed so much in so many ways?

  But it was always with great sorrow that I left my room, afraid of missing the fervently desired opportunity to see the stranger again. I thought that as soon as I left, she would come to the window and this idea tormented me wherever I went. When I left the Houcaïs, I flew straight to my room and trembled to look at my stranger’s window. I saw a hand holding the curtain and I thought I saw a shadow watching from a corner. What went through me? Love makes us clever. I thought that my absence had made her curious and that by hiding myself like her, I would force her to come out. I guessed right. She was obviously worried or interested in my move and wanted to
know why. Thinking I was in the back of the room she peeked out to see why I was not there, which was quite unusual, as she told me later. I was free to enjoy looking at her. Though the first sight of her had hit me hard, the second was no different the second time. I was enraptured. What eyes! What lips! Excuse me, Sinouis, but such exclamations are more than justified. It was like she was made to conquer all hearts.

  I could not stand still any longer. I got so carried away I became foolish. I showed myself and clapped my hands together, humbling myself in front of her as if she were a divinity. She quickly jumped back, obviously embarrassed at being surprised like that. I was sorry for being brash, but I was not upset. She will see, I told myself, that I love her. My passion will convince her. Maybe it will prove better than the most calculated declaration of love. That’s what I thought: Love is perpetual delirium; it is always talking.

  Soon I could see that my action was not unsuccessful. Again I saw the shadow of my adorable stranger by the curtain and the hand holding it like the first time. There was no reason to think that this was done out of spite or indifference. No sooner are we lovers than we become actors. I pretended not to be seen. I started talking to myself. I looked up at the sky and prayed aloud to let the beautiful girl respond to my love. Not a word of my monologue was lost. She appeared to be listening carefully, at least as far as I could tell by her quiet, still attitude during the whole time I was talking. I guess I waxed eloquent. It was not possible not to. I was inspired by love, a shrewd teacher—it brought me a long way in a short time.

  I received an order from the Houcaïs to go to the Queen’s room where they were having a celebration called the Lak-tro-al-dal248 in order to share the pleasure, which unfortunately interrupted the pleasure I preferred to all others. Therefore, I could not stay at my window and get some proof that my tender feelings had been understood.

  The celebration was wonderful and gallant. The Court and the people, everyone had a great time except for me, lost in dreams and worried and worse off because I had to hide it out of respect. The Houcaïs was watching me all the time and every time the people cheered he buried a finger in my nose,249 saying, “Well, isn’t that wonderful? Don’t you love that look?” and a bunch of other things like that to keep me watching. The King had a way of making his grandeur respected and beloved. Out of kindness he laughed at the most frivolous jokes and out of habit even started to like them. He went out as simply as anyone in his palace, hopping on one leg, and when he was in the street he stopped the passers-by and jumped over their heads, making them bend down, of course, so that they would not fall over backward, which happened sometimes.

  When the celebration was over the King offered me to Bil-gou-router250 with the Queen while he did some work with his chief minister, who had got some good news from around the great wall where a whole section had collapsed without anyone knowing why.251 The event turned out to be opportune because it opened an entrance to the kingdom, which the Houcaïs wanted to take advantage of to put the Queen back on her rightful throne. I saw that the game was going to last a long time and it was a torture for me to think that I was going to lose that time that I could be putting to better use. But on second thought I gave in. What would they think if I refused? Wouldn’t the Queen try to find out why? Women are more sensitive than men and cleverer at figuring things out. I cherished my secret and did not want to risk it.

  I could have congratulated myself over and over for agreeing to play when I entered the game room. Can you guess, Sinouis, who was there? Oh Heavens, imagine how frenzied I became when I saw my adorable stranger there! She blushed. And I was no less embarrassed. The Queen, who was crazy about the game we were about to play, gave us no time to get bothered. We took our places. Mine was facing my charming neighbor. I could look directly at her. God, how happy I was! The Bil-gou-rout was let loose and whipped, made three trips around the circle and finally ran into the Queen’s mouth. She snatched it with her teeth and was beside herself in joy. We all saw it as a good, lucky omen and congratulated her. After making a few feints to hide the rat well, the Queen chose me to guess where it was. I had only the stranger on my mind, so how could I have named anyone else? I threw the Bul-gil252 at her and she caught it looking ashamed, which made everyone laugh. Oh Sinouis, what luck! I had guessed it. I could take her into the next room and talk to her. I could not have behaved better at first, but the second I was alone with her I was like a statue. I did not know what to say and I could not get one word out of my mouth.

  Nevertheless, it had to end. The rules of the game granted only four minutes before we had to reappear. No sooner did the Tok-ho-dor253 ring than the Queen knocked on the door—time’s up. I sighed and was angry for wasting such precious time. On leaving I wanted to ask her forgiveness for my trouble and stupidity, but I still had use of my mind only—I could not talk. The stranger smiled and sat back down, giggling at me, which managed to make me even more foolish than ever.

  An opportunity lost is lost forever. I had no second chance for the rest of the evening. We were about to stop playing after the three hours were up when the King, coming back with his minister, asked to start over. He took his place, a new Bil-gou-rout was brought out and it took a good thrashing before making its choice. It was great fun, but finally ended up in the chief minister’s mouth. We all laughed a lot because his mouth was so big that the rat buried itself completely inside and we had all the trouble in the world getting it out. The King and Queen and all the Court watching the game died laughing. Finally the Bil-gou-rout was hidden and my adorable stranger guessed where it was. According to the rules, she had to choose a man and I flattered myself for a minute that she would do me the honor that I did her, but how hard it was—the King got the Bul-gil. I was in a pitiable state, then, without really knowing why. The Prince disappeared with the stranger. The four minutes seemed like a century. How much we suffer when we see the one we love in the hands of another; there is no torture like it!

  When the King came back with Clemelis (that was the stranger’s name, which was mentioned during her absence) the Queen congratulated her on her choice and I saw a look of satisfaction on his face, which struck me to the core. The Houcaïs sat down next to me and seemed like a totally different man. He asked me kindly if I felt sick. I did not have the strength to answer. The question chilled my blood and I passed out.

  I woke up in my room surrounded by all kinds of people and doctors. To get rid of them I said I needed to rest, that that was the only way to get me back on my feet. When they said they did not want me to get sick, I got mad. I had to yell at them to be alone like I wanted.

  After they gave in to my wishes and I had blocked my door so I would not be disturbed, I flew to my window. Oh unexpected wonder, unparalleled luck! Clemelis was there! She made a wonderful sign, putting her hands together and then one on her head and the other over her heart to let me know that she had been very worried about my accident. My tongue was untied then. “I am the happiest of men,” I told her, “since you are interested in my well-being. I wish I were at your knees to express my deepest and sincerest gratitude.”

  A sign from Clemelis told me that I did not have to say more. I obeyed right away, punctuating my silence with gestures of love and passion. She looked pleased, tilted her head to the side and looked at me with those eyes…those eyes…Oh Sinouis, I was totally lost. Was any catastrophe greater than mine?

  While sharing our feelings I was inexpressibly happy, but Clemelis suddenly went away with a quick sign telling me to do the same. I obeyed grumbling to myself about what was happening. I was really troubled by it, so I stood where I could see but not be seen. Clemelis’ window was open and a gentle breeze blew the curtains very slightly. When this happened I could spy all the way to the back of her room and I spent a pretty long time watching to no purpose. But suddenly I saw a man and I knew it was the King. The sight reminded me of the day before. What was I to think? Clemelis had torn herself away from me and obviously had her reasons for
dealing with the Houcaïs. I fell into a maelstrom of thoughts.

  It was totally natural. Clemelis, the most beautiful girl of the Court, could, of course, have affected the King the same as she did me. The Houcaïs always seemed to love Nasilaë tenderly, but wasn’t it possible that this tenderness was worn out? An endless array of thoughts, each more cruel than the last, ran through my brain. I was jealous. I had studied the passions too much not to recognize it. Oh Philosophy, once so dear, what good were you now? If you intended me to be faithful to you, why didn’t you come around looking like that adorable Clemelis? I never would have traded you in.