Creation- The Auditor’s Apprentice

by Frank Stonely

  ‘Why, who are you?’

  ‘I’m the Gatekeeper.’

  ‘I know that, but you’re not a creationist are you?’

  ‘I look like one, don’t I?’

  ‘You do now.’ Amy said, as she hesitantly approached the desk again.

  The chair slid out, ‘Please take a seat. That elevator ride can be quite tiring.’

  Amy took a step back and said, ‘Tell me who you are, or I’m going to get security down here!’

  ‘You’ve never met a ghost before, have you?’

  ‘No’

  ‘Well… I’m a ghost.’

  ‘A ghost! Somebody should have told me.’ she snapped, taking her audit pad from her bag. ‘I’m going to have to report this, it’s completely unacceptable. What’s your name?

  ‘Ghosts don’t have names’.

  ‘That’s ridiculous! There must be a hundred gatekeepers down here… how am I supposed to know which one you are?’

  ‘It hasn’t been a problem before.’

  ‘Well, it’s a problem for me, so while I’m working down here, I’m going to call you… Orion.’

  ‘I’ve never had a name before. Orion, yes, I like it.’

  ‘Me too. He was my pre-Academy mentor. Now, Orion, I would like to see the files for blue planet 2858013279 in Galaxy 4567890123 of Universe 5781256669. Any problems with that?’

  ‘None at all. Just follow me.’

  The further they walked along the corridor the deeper the dust seemed to get. After about fifteen minutes of walking, the Gatekeeper stopped next to a door whose plaque read Galaxy 4567890123, Planets 2858010000 – 2858019999. ‘Here we are,’ he said taking a single key from his pocket.

  Amy could see that the vault had been recently entered; two sets of footprints were clearly visible in the dust leading to the door. They looked fresh, probably made within the last few days. The Gatekeeper pushed the door open and switched on the light. Amy had assumed the vaults would be rooms a few metres deep, but as the lights came on they revealed rows of filing cabinets, which went on as far as the eye could see. The trail of footprints in the dust extended for about eighty metres then, coincidently, stopped at the same filing cabinet that contained Amy’s blue planet’s records. ‘Your file should be in there,’ Orion said pointing to the third drawer down, ‘I’d better get back to my station. If you need any help, just call me.’

  ‘Call you! You’ll never hear me back there,’ she said. ‘It will take me ages to walk all that way back if I need you.’

  ‘As I said, if you need me just call. I’m a ghost, remember. I’ll hear you.’ With that Orion turned and walked away scuffing up more of the dust as he went.

  Amy slid open the drawer which was packed with labelled files, each one with a separate planet reference number. She started to work her way through them from the front but, when she reached the file hanger for planet 2858013279, it was empty. Amy checked in between adjacent hangers to see if the file had been misplaced or had slipped out of sight but after twenty minutes of fruitless searching, she was convinced the file was missing. She sighed with frustration. Why did these things always happen to her? She gave the filing cabinet a kick, irritated at having to walk all the way back to report the missing file. She slammed the file drawer closed and in a temper shouted, ‘Orion, get your ass down here. Now!’

  ‘I came as quickly as I could.’

  Amy jumped with surprise and turned to see Orion approaching her. ‘You’ve been listening to what I’ve been thinking.’ she said in an irritated voice.

  ‘I can’t help it, it just happens. Have you got a problem with the file?’

  ‘I might have a problem with the file if there was a file to have a problem with,’ she said sarcastically.

  ‘That’s very unusual-’

  Orion was interrupted by Tanka who was shuffling as quickly as he could towards them, ‘It’s never happened before. The file must be here! You’ve been looking in the wrong place,’ he said nervously.

  Orion had opened the drawer and was thumbing through the file hangers, ‘She’s right, the file’s not here.’

  ‘Rubbish! Of course it’s there. Nothing leaves the Depository.’ Out of Amy’s sight, Tanka winked at the Gatekeeper, then dramatically pushed him aside and started checking each file hanger himself. ‘Somebody has obviously put it back in the wrong cabinet. We’ll just have to check them all.’

  Amy interrupted and, using her new, confident persona, said, ‘Well, boys, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen… I’m going to lunch and you’re going to find that file.’ She started walking away towards the vault door, ‘You’ve only got two hours, so I suggest you don’t waste any time… Start looking!’

  8

  Lunch With Daniel

  Luckily for Amy, the female restroom was next to Tanka’s office. Locking herself into one of the cubicles, she took off all of her clothes and brushed the dust from her fur with a hairbrush. The damage wasn’t as bad as she’d thought as the dust was so dry and light that within a few minutes most of it was on the cubicle floor. She took a tissue and dusted off her boots and polished up her shoulder bag. A quick shake of her clothes had the same effect and within no time she was dressed and looking presentable again. But presentable wasn’t good enough. She was having lunch with Daniel and anything short of perfection was unacceptable.

  Amy left the cubical and, after emptying the contents of her makeup purse onto the vanity counter, examined herself closely in the mirror. Apart from her favourite fur tint, she had everything required to restore the look she and her sister had worked so hard to perfect that morning. There were three other females standing alongside her, all studying their makeup. Two were young Academy students, giggling and chatting about their dates that night. The third, standing next to Amy, was a middle-aged female. She had placed her open compact on the counter and was carefully applying some colour to the sides of her snout with a small tint comb. Her eyes flicked left and made contact with Amy through the mirror. ‘What we females have to do for lunch. You’re young and beautiful, but at my age it’s a full-time job to hide all those little imperfections-’ she finished the sentence under her breath, ‘and some not so little.’ She looked back at her own reflection and leant forward until her nose was almost touching the glass, concentrating on a small area below her right eye. Using the claw of her index finger, she combed through the fur to smooth it down, then sighing stood back, ‘That’s as good as it gets.’ Amy said nothing, but smiled into the mirror. The female snapped her compact closed, put it in her handbag and walked out of the restroom.

  After a further five minutes of careful grooming Amy admired her handiwork, not perfection, but considering the circumstances she was happy with the result. The door banged behind her as the giggling young females left. She packed her make-up purse away and, throwing the wrap around her shoulders, strode confidently out of the restroom.

  The Depository foyer was busy with students and staff leaving to take their lunch break. Amy joined the throng and once on the plaza made her way to Micco’s cafe. What a difference twenty-four hours makes, she thought. She sat at the same table she had used the previous day. The difference was this time she wasn’t hiding, she wanted to be seen. Excitedly she scanned the plaza, anxious to attract Daniel’s attention as soon as he came into view. She glanced at her watch, recalling Penny’s gibe the previous day, He stood you up, didn’t he? Five minutes passed, then ten. She stood up to get a better view of the creationists milling around in front of the cafe. Her heart was starting to pound as Penny’s words continually replayed in her head.

  There was a series of taps on the window behind her and she turned to see Daniel sitting at a table inside the cafe. He held up a glass of wine and gestured for her to join him. With one sweep, Amy collected her bag and wrap, trying to look elegant as she rushed to the cafe entrance. As she approached Daniel’s table, a passing waiter drew back a chair for her and she sat down. ‘I prefer it inside at lunch time, it has a bet
ter atmosphere,’ Daniel said. He picked up the menu and offered it to Amy, ‘What would you like?’

  As she took it, she looked directly into his eyes, ‘I have to explain about yesterday,’ she said with a tremble in her voice.

  ‘What’s there to explain?’

  ‘I embarrassed you in front of your colleagues?’

  ‘No you didn’t! We’re always winding each other up, that’s what males do. Now let’s order lunch and you can tell me about your day. I’m starving.’

  While Amy was perusing the menu, she started to tell Daniel about her morning, ‘It was really quite bizarre.’ She related in detail her visit to the depository vaults and her encounter with Tanka and Orion and the missing file. By the time she had finished her story, the platter of slow roasted ribs, covered in a thick sticky sauce, was almost finished. Daniel had been listening intently as he hungrily cracked open the ribs between his jaws to get at the marrow. Then, as he sucked the final bone dry, he looked up at Amy. She leant forward and, taking the corner of her napkin, wiped away the spot of sauce that had found its way onto his chin.

  He thanked her with a smile and then thought for a moment. ‘There’s something that doesn’t sound quite right,’ he said, wiping his plate clean with the last piece of bread from the basket. ‘You said that the phone levitated when this ghost, Orion, answered it?’

  ‘Yes, it just sprang off the cradle’

  ‘I don’t know much about these things, but that sounds more like a poltergeist to me. From what I remember from our Academy classes, ghosts are apparitions. They can’t interact with solid objects.’

  ‘No, you must have that wrong, he definitely said he was a ghost. It was very dim in there; maybe my eyes were just playing tricks on me. Anyway, poltergeists are banned from Creation, that much I do remember.’ Amy glanced at her watch. ‘Look at the time! I must get back. Hopefully Tanka has found my file.’ She took her pen and started to write on the back of a small card advertising the cafe that was left on each table. She slid it towards Daniel, ‘Here’s my office and home numbers, just in case you ever need to contact your partner.’ Daniel smiled and, reaching across the table, squeezed her hand again.

  Penny whistled as Amy approached. ‘Girl, look at you!’ She stood up, walked around her desk and with her hands on her hips said, ‘What in Creation happened to the shy girl in grey?’

  ‘She’s gone, thanks to you.’

  ‘Don’t lose her completely, girl. The best way to get the right guy is to keep your knickers on. The good ones like that in-the-pink stuff.’ She returned to her desk ‘How’d it go at the Depository?’

  ‘Not so good, they’ve lost the file I needed. Have you ever been down there? Everything’s covered in dust.’

  ‘I should’ve told you about that, but I was a bit pissed-off with you after that stuff yesterday. Sorry, girl. You’ll find coveralls in the storeroom next to the first meeting room, use those.’ While Penny had been talking to Amy she entered the planets details into her digital workstation, ‘What’s this crap!’ she said, glaring into the screen. ‘The digital copy’s gone too, says it was deleted yesterday.’

  ‘Who deleted it?’

  ‘Doesn’t say, but they must have had a level one pass. I’ve never known an archive file to be deleted… this is gonna to cause a real shit-storm! We’re supposed to stop this stuff happening.’

  ‘Let’s just hope they’ve found the file. I told them to work over lunch,’ Amy said, sitting down on the visitor’s chair next to Penny’s desk.

  ‘They? Who else was there?’

  ‘Apart from Tanka, only the Gatekeeper. He’s a ghost. I’ve never met a ghost before, it was quite unnerving. Did you know, ghosts don’t have names?’

  ‘Ghost! Listen girl, there are no ghosts working in the Depository.’

  ‘That’s what Daniel said when we met for lunch. He thought the Gatekeeper sounded more like a poltergeist.

  ‘POLTERGEIST! For Creation sake, don’t mention poltergeists around here. Shit, this is getting out of hand! Why this week? Why not next week when that wanker, Anubis, will be in charge? Hedrick’s worked so hard for his retirement, and now, in his last week, we have a fuckup like this.’ Penny sighed and slumped back in her chair. ‘Look, we’ve got to keep this to ourselves. Let’s just hope your friends down in the vaults come up with the goods.’

  Hedrick’s office door opened and his face lit up as he saw Amy, ‘Ahh, my new apprentice. I hope you are finding your assignment interesting. Is it going well?’

  Before Amy could speak, Penny answered for her, ‘Yes, she’s getting on great. We were just double-checking a few of the planet’s details.’

  ‘Excellent! In auditing, double-checking is very important as you will find out, Amy. By the way, I finished reading your dissertation last night; the section on controlling the development of intelligent life was very illuminating. If we have time tomorrow, maybe you could explain it to me in more detail.’

  While Hedrick was talking to Amy, Penny had slipped into the first meeting room. She came back almost immediately and, standing outside of Hedrick’s view, drew her hand across her throat instructing Amy to cut short their conversation. ‘Excuse me, Director,’ Amy said looking at her watch, ‘but I have a meeting at the depository. Could we talk about this later?’

  ‘Of course, Amy. I am in a bit of a hurry myself. Between you and me, I am off to my barber this afternoon. My wife said that I need a trim and a few grey hairs dealing with before my presentation on Friday. I have to admit to getting quite excited about receiving my retirement key. Make sure you are there, I am sure you will enjoy it.’ Penny was standing behind Hedrick, whirling her arm around as though winding up some invisible machine, trying to get Amy to stop chatting. ‘I cannot hold you busy females up any longer. Penny, I will not be in the office for the rest of the afternoon. Try and keep Anubis from causing any more disruption. I will see you both in the morning.’ With that Hedrick headed off towards the elevator, acknowledging one or two of the auditors as he went.

  ‘I thought he was never going to stop talking,’ Penny said. ‘I tried to call Tanka just now, but there’s no reply from the vault phone.’

  ‘Should I go and see the Depository Director?’

  ‘Shit no! We’ve got to find out what’s going on first. I don’t think you realize what a big deal losing an archive file is. Now, who in Creation can we talk to? Somebody who will keep their mouth shut.’ Penny was looking into space, tapping her pen against one of her fangs as she thought, ‘I need to speak to Ravi,’ she said to herself.

  ‘Well, I’m going to talk to Daniel again,’ Amy said. ‘He was going to speak to some of his workmates. See if this sort of thing’s happened before.’

  ‘Listen girl. If it has, then we’re in deep shit, and I mean DEEP shit. Have you ever met a pissed off angel? Well, if poltergeists are in Creation, you will! I’ll meet you back here at three o’clock.’ Penny grabbed her notebook and walked swiftly away in the direction of Ravi’s cubical.

  Amy sat at Penny’s desk and looked up Daniel’s office number on the workstation. The phone only rang once before he answered. ‘Daniel it’s me!’

  ‘Who’s me?’

  ‘Amy, you know, lunch.’

  ‘Sorry, Amy, it’s quite noisy in here, the energy packet generator’s running.’ Daniel called to a colleague, ‘Khan, shut that thing off, I’m on the phone.’ The whirring noise in the background slowly wound down and stopped, ‘Okay, I can hear you now.’

  ‘Daniel, you were right, something’s very wrong here. You know the missing file I told you about? Well, the digital copy has been deleted too. When I told Penny you thought the Gatekeeper could have been a poltergeist she went mad. She’s terrified it’s going to ruin the director’s retirement. And it’s all my fault!’

  ‘How can it be your fault?’

  ‘I picked the assignment numbers!’

  ‘Leave it with me. There might be other records we can use. Give me ten minut
es and I’ll call you back.’

  Penny and Ravi were approaching Amy at speed as she put the phone down, Ravi was looking physically sick. Penny gestured at Amy to follow her as they walked into Hedrick’s office. She closed the door and, reaching out, drew them both towards her, ‘Now, tell her what you just told me,’ she said to Ravi who stood in silence. ‘Tell her!’ Ravi was visibly trembling from head to foot, his ears flat against his head, his tail curled between his legs. ‘Ravi, tell her!’

  ‘I… I think it was Deputy Director Anubis.’

  Ravi could hardly string the words together so Penny took over, ‘After lunch yesterday, Hedrick took Anubis to Rav’s cubical and asked him to show him how we do stuff. But he was only interested in the workstation and asked Rav to log-on and show him how it worked. He made him demonstrate the security utilities, including how to delete files. Then Anubis comes over all faint saying he’s not feeling well and could he have some water. When Rav gets back with the water, Anubis seems okay, he doesn’t even take a sip. Anyway, we’ve just checked the workstation logs, and guess what? That was exactly the time your file was deleted. Rav thinks he’s gonna get the blame.’