Susan Clegg and Her Love Affairs

by Anne Warner

  VII

  SUSAN CLEGG UNSETTLED

  Life under the roof of Gran'ma Mullins eventually--and eventually was amatter of days rather than weeks--became unbearable for Susan Clegg. Atleast, she so decided, and finding opportunity in the fact that bothGran'ma Mullins and Mrs. Macy had gone to market, Susan hastened to herold friend, Mrs. Lathrop, and laid open her fresh burden of woes.

  "I can't stand it, Mrs. Lathrop," she declared with strongest emphasis,"I can't stand it. No matter what the Bible says, a saint on a gridironwould smile all over and wriggle for nothing but joy only to think aswhere he was and wasn't boarding with Gran'ma Mullins. It's awful.That's what it is--awful. I never had no idea that nothing could be soawful. I've got to where I'm thinking very seriously of leaving myproperty to Lucy. I'm becoming very sorry for Lucy. Lucy isn't properlyappreciated. Why, Hiram was stung by a bee once,--no ordinary bee, but abee a third bigger than the usual bee,--and it swelled up all differentfrom common, and Gran'ma Mullins thought he was surely going to dieright there before her streaming eyes. But Hiram was so bright heremembered about putting mud on bee-bites, and he did it. Only therewasn't no mud, and nobody knew what they could do about it. But Hiram'smind wasn't like the mind of a ordinary person. Hiram's mind is alldifferent, and Hiram said, just as quick as scat, to mix water and earthand make some mud. So they did, and the water and earth, Gran'ma Mullinssays, made the finest mud she ever saw. They covered up Hiram's bee-bitewith it, and it didn't leave so much as a scar. And now there's Hiram inthe Klondike, knowing just what to do when bit by a bee, but without anotion what to put on if a seal catches him unawares. And all this goingon hour after hour, Mrs. Lathrop, and me sitting there waiting for mydinner, half mad anyway over the way my dead-and-gone father's home isbeing torn limb from limb, and in no mood to listen to anything. Oh,laws, no! It's no use. I can't stand it, and I won't either."

  Susan paused expressively.

  Mrs. Lathrop gasped. "What will--?"

  "I'm going to find another place to live right away," Susan went on."I've too much consideration for you to ask you to go there, Mrs.Lathrop, and besides, I feel it would be exchanging the fire for thestew-pan for me to come here. I'm going this town over this veryafternoon, and I think I'll find some place where I can sleep part ofthe night, at any rate. I guess I got about three quarters of a hour'ssleep last night. Gran'ma Mullins woke me up weeping on the foot of mybed before daylight. Just before daylight is her special time forrecollecting how Hiram used to drink milk out of a cup when he was ababy, and how he used to eat candy if anybody gave him any, and otherremarkable doings that he did. My lands, I wish Job could have metGran'ma Mullins! His friends and his boils would have just been pleasantthings to amuse him, then. I'm going first to Mrs. Allen, and then I'mgoing to every one. I shan't make no bones about my errand, foreverybody knows Gran'ma Mullins. I'll have the sympathy of the wholecommunity. I need sympathy, and I feel I can soak up a good lot of it ifI'm let to."

  "How's the--?" asked Mrs. Lathrop.

  "They're still pulling 'em down," said Susan gloomily. "It's a awfulsight, and one that doesn't give me more strength for Gran'ma Mullins. Ishall never have another house that will suit me as mine did, Mrs.Lathrop. I know that Jathrop means it kindly, and I'm far from being oneto hold any gift-horse by the tail, but the truth is the truth, and Imust say nothing teaches you to really prize your cupboards like seeingmen going through 'em with pick-axes. There was many little conveniencesin my house as I never really thought much of until now I see 'em goneforever. But it's a poor cat that lives on spilt milk, so I'll say nomore of that, but go back and get ready to hunt up a place to live. Forlive I must, Mrs. Lathrop, and live I will. And I won't live by eatingand drinking and breathing Hiram Mullins the twenty-four hours round,neither."

  Miss Clegg's round of visits ended, curiously enough, in herestablishing herself with Lucy Mullins.

  "Which I don't doubt is a very great surprise to you, Mrs. Lathrop," sheconfessed to her friend that evening. "But Lucy ran across me in thestreet, and when she saw me, those two women who met in the Bible andknew all each other's business directly was strangers passing on expresstrains beside Lucy and me. I took one look at Lucy, and I see she knowedit all. Judge Fitch is going to be away a lot this month, seeing wherehe can hire his witnesses for a big lawsuit, and Lucy says she and me'llbe alone and able to be silent from dawn to dark and on through thenight. She don't want to have to listen to no manner of talk, she says,and I can have the second floor all alone to myself, for her and herfather sleep in the wings down-stairs."

  "So you--" said Mrs. Lathrop.

  "Yes, I didn't look no more. I was suited, so I didn't see no use infurther fussing. I shall tell Gran'ma Mullins to-night and go thereto-morrow. And I may in confidence remark as no howling oasis in adesert ever howled for joy the way I'll feel like howling when I get mytrunk on a wheelbarrow again. I've spoke for the wheelbarrow at eighto'clock to-morrow morning, so I'll be over at Lucy's and settled beforeyou wake up, Mrs. Lathrop."

  The next day Susan went, and, surprising as it may seem, Gran'ma Mullinswas singularly content over her going.

  "I don't want to make no trouble between friends," said Gran'ma Mullins,clambering up Mrs. Macy's steps to sit with Mrs. Macy and Mrs. Lathrop."But really, Susan is become most changed since her house is begun to bebuilt over. I wouldn't hardly have known her. I wouldn't say stuck-upand I wouldn't say airy, but I will say as she's most changed. Iwouldn't say rude, neither, but I didn't consider it exactly friendly toalways either pull her breath in long and loud or else let it out shortand sharp whenever I mentioned Hiram. Hiram is my only legal and naturalchild, and with him in the Klondike, and my heart aching and quaking andbreaking for fear the ice'll thaw and let him through into someunexpected volcano all of a sudden, how can I but mention him? You knowwhat Hiram is to me, Mrs. Macy. We haven't lived in these two houses forforty years without your knowing what Hiram is to me. You remember himas a baby, Mrs. Macy, but you don't, Mrs. Lathrop, so I'll tell you whatHiram was as a baby. Hiram was a most remarkable--"

  When Mrs. Lathrop saw Susan Clegg again, Miss Clegg was looking far fromhappy.

  "Are you--?" enquired Mrs. Lathrop.

  "Well, I d'n know," came the answer more than a little dubiously. Then:"Seeing that I am always frank and open with you, Mrs. Lathrop, I may aswell say plainly as I ain't. Very far from it. I never knew when I wentto live with Lucy as Judge Fitch has got a dog as barks. He ain't noordinary dog--he's a most uncommon dog. He only barks when it'smoonlight, or when he hears something, and I must say he's got thesharpest ears I ever see. But it isn't his barking that's so bad, as itis that whenever he barks, Lucy gets right up to see whether it's Hiramcome back. It seems the reason Lucy took me to board is she hates to goaround the house alone nights with the dog and a candle. That's a prettything for me to never mistrust till I got there with my trunk. I mustsay I don't blame Lucy for not liking to go around alone, for the dogsmells your heels all the time, and if he was in the Klondike with Hiramhis nose couldn't be colder. But all the same I think she ought to oftold me. For whatever it may be to others, a cold nose is certainly mostnew to my heels. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, we was out hunting with our dogthree times last night, and Lucy says often enough he gets her up nineand ten times. Lucy's so nervous for fear Hiram'll come back that shecan't possibly sleep if she thinks there's a chance of it. She says ifHiram's come back, she wants to know it right off. She says that's hernature. If she's got to have a tooth out, she wants it out at once. Shesays she never was one to shrink from nothing. And the dog's prompt,too. He's quite of the same mind as Lucy. He gives one bark, and then hedon't dilly-dally none. He gets right up, and by the time he's got toLucy, Lucy's got up too, and they both come racing up-stairs for me tojoin 'em. My door don't lock, so the dog's licking my face before Iknow where I am. And then, before I know much more where I am, we'reall three capering down-stairs together again. Then we take the wholehouse carefully around and listen at every door and w
indow, with the dogsmelling while we listen. Then, when we know for sure as it ain't Hiram,the dog scrambles back into his basket, and Lucy tucks him up, and sheand I go back to bed alone and untucked. That's a pretty kettle of fish.And you can believe me or not, just as you please, Mrs. Lathrop, but Inever had no notion of having my heels smelled by a cold dog's nosethree times, and maybe nine, a night when I went to live at JudgeFitch's, and if it keeps on, I shall just leave. Lucy's got no lease onme, and although I'm sorry for her, I ain't anywhere near sorry enoughfor her to be woke up to pussy-cornering all over the premises with adog the livelong night through. As between having Gran'ma Mullinssitting on my feet wailing over Hiram, and Lucy's dog smelling of myheels while we hunt for Hiram, I think I'd rather have Gran'ma Mullins.I was warm and comfortable and laid out flat at Gran'ma Mullins, but I'mgoodness knows what at Lucy's. And I do hate having my face licked. Idon't like it. I never was used to such things, and I can't begin now."

  "What will--?" asked Mrs. Lathrop.

  "I shall look up another nice place to live," said Miss Clegg, "and Ishall take a leaf out of the dog's book and be prompt about it, too.I've spoke for the wheelbarrow to-morrow at ten o'clock, and I shallmove then, whether or no."

  Susan, again on the lookout for a new abiding place, discovered a mostattractive proposition in Mrs. Allen. Mrs. Allen and her husband livedalone, were neat and well-fed, and kept no dog.

  "I'll never go where there's a dog again, I know that," said Susan."Why, Mrs. Lathrop, if I was in a blizzard in Switzerland and fifty ofthose little beer-keg dogs they've got there came scurrying up to rescueme, I wouldn't get up and let 'em have the joy of seeing me obliged. Iwon't ever get up for no dog again in my life, I know that. And I knowit for keeps. And there's a bolt on my side of my door at Mrs. Allen's.I've looked to that, too; and no one is to wake me nights; I've lookedto that. I told Mrs. Allen all the story of what I'd suffered, and shesaid she'd see as I had peace in her house. She told me that I'dsuffered because I needed to suffer, but now I was to have peace, andI'd have it with her. I didn't bother to ask what she meant, for I guessif she's got any secret thorn, I'll find it out quick enough, anyhow.And if it's anything that wakes me up nights, my present feeling is as Iwon't be well able to bear it. Well, the wheelbarrow is set for teno'clock, and so I must go, and when I see you, I'll know what's wrongwith Mrs. Allen, and the Lord help me if it's something as makes me haveto move again. That's all I can say."

  Susan did not visit her old friend directly after her third change ofresidence. Two whole days passed by, and Mrs. Lathrop was openlytroubled.

  "Don't you worry," said Gran'ma Mullins soothingly. "There's nothing thematter with her, because I see her in the square this very morning. Butshe looked at me odd and went down a side street. I'm sure I hopeSusan's not losing her mind."

  "Oh, wouldn't that be awful!" exclaimed Mrs. Macy with real sympathy."We'd have to appoint a commission to catch her and sit on her, and thenif she was put in the insane asylum, I guess Susan Clegg would be mad."

  "Oh, Susan wouldn't like that a bit," said Gran'ma Mullins meditatively."They make little cups and saucers out of beads. I know, because Hiramhad one once. And they read books with the letters all punched out atyou."

  "You're thinking of the Home for the Blind," corrected Mrs. Macy. "I wasthere once, too. I don't think Susan would mind going there so much,because of course she can see, which would give her a great advantageover the others, and Susan does like to have an advantage over anybodyelse. But I don't believe she'd like going to the Insane Asylum much.The Insane Asylum's so limited. My husband's sister went to the InsaneAsylum once, but it didn't help her none, so she came home. It wouldn'tever suit Susan."

  "Well, maybe not," said Gran'ma Mullins amicably. "And I don't think shecould go there, anyway, for she isn't crazy, and she's got her ownmoney. So why should she be a charge on the county?"

  The very next day Susan came wearily in to see her old friend.

  "Well, I d'n know what I've ever done to have this kind of a summer,"she began, seating herself sadly. "Why didn't I stay in my own house andjust simply take you to board while they laid violent hands on yourhouse? I was against being built over all along, Mrs. Lathrop, you knowthat. And now the fox has his cheese and the cow has her corn, just asthe Scripture says, but Susan Clegg's absolutely forced to live withMrs. Allen. Oh, Mrs. Lathrop, you don't know what living with Mrs. Allenis, and you can't imagine, either. I never dreamed of such a thingbefore I went there. I was a little afraid she'd want to read me herpoetry, but her poetry would have been paradise to what is. Seems as ifMrs. Allen has got a new kind of religion, and heaven help the presentrun of mankind if any more new religions is sprung on us, and heavenhelp me if I've got to live long with Mrs. Allen's new one. Mrs. Allen'snew religion is most peculiar. I never see nothing like it. It'sPersian, and it's very singular just to look at. But it's most awful tolive with. Lucy and her dog is simple beside it, and as to Gran'maMullins, she's nothing but a baby dabbing a ball in comparison.According to Mrs. Allen's new religion, you mustn't find fault withnothing or nobody--never. Everything's all right, no matter how wrong itis; and if you lose your purse, you was meant to lose it, so whycomplain? You was give your purse for just a little while, and in placeof wildly running here and there trying to find it, you must just thankheaven for kindly letting you have it so long, and think no more aboutit. If you're meant to see any more of that purse, it'll kindly look youup itself. But it's no manner of use your looking for it, because ifheaven takes back a purse deliberately, never intending to return it, itnever does return it, and that's all there is to be said on the subject.Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you think perhaps you can see what it would be tolive with any one that feels to see life in that way; but you don'treally know what you think a good deal of the time, and never less thannow. Mrs. Allen's things is mostly back in heaven's hands again, and herbiscuits is mostly burnt, and not one bit does she care, seeing as shedon't consider as she has the least thing to do with any of it. She'shappy and singing and forgetting from dawn to dark. She says the day'llsoon be that the whole earth will see the truth and be singing withher. She says the toiling millions will cease to toil then, and life'llbe all Adams and Eves and no manner of misery. In the meantime, I don'tget nothing to eat, and when I feel to holler down-stairs, she saysdinner was meant to be late that day, or it couldn't possibly have beenlate. Not by no manner of means."

  "Well, I--" commented Mrs. Lathrop blankly.

  "Just my way of seeing it," said Susan, "and she aggravates me stillmore with pointing her moral, from dawn to dark. She says it's beautifulto see how beautiful life comes along. You and me needed quiet, and wegot quiet. And now we need our houses built over, and we're getting 'embuilt over. I told her I didn't need my house built over a _tall_, andshe said as I just thought so, but that I really did, or it wouldn't bebeing done. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I d'n know, I'm sure, what I will run upagainst next. But I don't believe I can stay at Mrs. Allen's. I reallydon't. There's one thing--it'll be mighty easy to leave her, for Ishan't have to say nothing. I shall say I was meant to leave and thenand there leave. It's a poor religion as don't fit others as easy as itsown selves; and I ain't washed in the Allens' dirty rain water full ofdead and drowned bugs for two days because I was meant to wash and theywas meant to drown, without learning how to turn even a drowned bug tomy advantage. No, sir, I'm going out this afternoon and see what I canget, and if I can't do no better, I'll buy a bolt for my door and comeback to Gran'ma Mullins. Gran'ma Mullins has her good points. I alwayssaid that, Mrs. Lathrop, Gran'ma Mullins certainly has her good points.And I must learn to bear Hiram if I must. There's one thing certain: Ican hear about Hiram in bed, and I don't have to get up and out of bedto hunt for him. And whatever else Gran'ma Mullins does, she don't burnher bread and blame it on the Almighty. Mrs. Allen's got the Bible sopat that you don't need to do nothing, according to her--nothing a_tall_, but just sit still and let the world turn you around with itsturning. She says Solomon said the
little lilies didn't spin, and so whyshould she? Well, if we're to quit doing everything that lilies don'thave a hand in, I must say we'll soon be in a pretty state. I never wasone to admire Solomon like some people, and as for David, I think he wasa fool--dancing around the ark like he'd just got it for Christmas!"

  Susan searched long and wearily for a fourth abiding place thatafternoon, but in the end she had to speak for the wheelbarrow for thenext morning and move back to Gran'ma Mullins's.

  And Gran'ma Mullins was very glad to see her back.

  "Your bed's all made up with the same sheets for you, Susan," she saidcordially, "and I ain't even swept so as to spoil the homelike look.You'll see your own last burnt matches and all, just as you left 'em."

  "I've bought a bolt for my door," said Susan, "and I'll beg to borrow ascrewdriver and something sharp to put it on with."

  "I'll get 'em," agreed Gran'ma Mullins happily, "and I won't wake you nomore nights, Susan. I suppose it's only natural that you, never havingbeen married, can't possibly know the feelings of a mother. But I meantit kindly, Susan. When Lucy speaks of Hiram, she means it unkindly. Butwhen I speak of Hiram, I always mean it kindly."

  "Yes, I know," said Susan, "and if I believed like Mrs. Allen does, I'dknow I was meant to listen and wouldn't mind. But I don't take no stockin that religion of Mrs. Allen's, and I won't be woke up. And although Idon't want to hurt your feelings, I do want that understood right fromthe beginning."

  "I'll remember," said Gran'ma Mullins submissively. "And now I'll fetchthe screwdriver."

  That evening the four friends sat pleasantly once again on Mrs. Macy'spiazza.

  "Mrs. Lathrop had a letter from Jathrop to-day. Did you know that,Susan?" asked Mrs. Macy.

  "No, I didn't," returned Susan Clegg. "What did he say?"

  "He's going sailing to the West Indies in his new boat," Mrs. Macyinformed her. "He's going for his health, and he's going to take threeother millionaires and their own doctor."

  Susan appeared unimpressed.

  "He sent his mother a book about the place where he's going," said Mrs.Macy. "Do you want to see it?" She went in and brought it out.

  Susan took the volume and viewed the title with an indifferent eye.

  "_Stark's Guide to the Bahamas_," she read aloud. "What arethey--something to eat?"

  "You're thinking of bananas," suggested Mrs. Macy. "It's islands. It'swhere Columbus hit first. Nobody knows just where he hit, but he hitthere; everybody knows that."

  Susan placed the book under her arm. "I'll read it," she said briefly."But I must say as to my order of thinking Jathrop's setting off justnow is very much like a hen getting up from her eggs. Here's you andme--" addressing Mrs. Lathrop directly--"with our houses done away with,and him as has engineered the wreck skipping away with a parcel of men."

  "He isn't skipping," interposed Mrs. Macy. "He's sailing--sailing in hisown private boat, like the tea-man with the cup."

  "Oh, I don't care what he's doing," said Susan, rising. "I'm about beatout, and I'm going home and going to bed. Such a week! The Bible says'Whom the Lord loveth He chaseth,' and heaven knows I've been chasedthis week till my legs is about wore off. Such a week! I've had all thechasing I want for one while. And I never was great on being loved, soI'm going home and going to bed."

  Whereupon, with the _Guide to the Bahamas_ under her arm and a heavyfold between her brows, Susan Clegg stalked over to her temporarydomicile.

  "I don't think Susan's very well," said Gran'ma Mullins.

  "Maybe she's worried over Jathrop," suggested Mrs. Macy.

  Mrs. Lathrop said nothing. She just rocked.