Secret Dreams of a Fearless Governess: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance Novel

by Abby Ayles

  “Not particularly,” Edmund said, shuffling the papers on his desk. “I had to pay for that honour.”

  Christopher gave a mock sigh. Edmund knew he didn’t care a thing about money, so long as he had some.

  For all he paid attention, they could have been paupers or the richest family in the world. He would have spent it all with the same abandon no matter what.

  “Why are you home? Are you looking for more money?” Edmund asked, fixing him with an even look.

  He knew his brother well, and he wasn’t about to imagine that Christopher was along for some family time.

  “You wound me, brother,” Christopher said. “Though now that you mention it, a little coin wouldn’t go amiss.”

  “What did you spend the last bit I gave you on? Wine and women, I suppose?”

  Christopher shrugged gracefully. “There was a little matter of a duel. Had to be avoided, you see. We settled it like real gentlemen, with a purse. Lady Chatsworth wanted to see which of us could provide her the finest gift for her birthday.”

  Edmund scoffed. Typical Christopher.

  “So you purchased a trinket for a lady whose mother will never allow her to take a second son for a husband anyway. A good investment, as always with you.”

  “When have I ever failed to make a good investment?” Christopher said, picking up on the sarcasm in Edmund’s tone.

  “I may spend my coin on gifts, yes. But I find that it always pays to be generous, for what you will receive back.”

  “Such as impressive scars?” Edmund said, glancing pointedly at a small mark high on Christopher’s cheek.

  He had got it in a fencing duel over a woman, two years ago. Even though he probably would not marry for years yet, he was certainly getting in all kinds of courtship practice.

  “It’s unfair, really. Those poor ladies are waiting for a husband, and they even fancy that you might be it. You deceive them.”

  “Enough of all that,” Christopher said, waving a hand in the air dismissively. Edmund noted, however, that he did not deny it.

  “I’m done with my training at last, and I wanted to see my siblings. Is that so hard to believe? I’m also just in time for the ball, I believe.”

  “What ball?” Edmund asked sharply, seeing finally the real reason behind Christopher’s appearance.

  He had sniffed out a rumour of a social occasion. It was just like him to never pass up any opportunity to create a scandal.

  “At the Haverhams’. I hear the invitations went out last week. I’m sure we received one, did we not?”

  “We did,” Edmund said, furrowing his brow and turning away. “But you’re not just in time at all. I have already replied and confirmed my own attendance. Yours was not mentioned.”

  There were no circumstances under which Edmund would like to see Christopher attend the ball with him. He was a bad influence on Patience, for the first thing.

  He also had no desire at all for Christopher to meet – or try to enchant – Miss Warrick. Why he felt that way, he couldn’t exactly say; only that it was a thing he knew before he even had to think about it.

  “That’s no matter,” Christopher said. “I shall come along with you all the same.”

  “No, you won’t,” Edmund said, resting his pen on the table again and facing Christopher.

  “You cannot simply show up at the ball and expect that all will be well. You have not informed the Haverhams that you will be attending. There are rules to adhere to.”

  “Oh, rules,” Christopher said, dismissively. “Who cares for them? You may be the only last man in England who does.”

  “You may be the only young man in England who thinks he is special,” Edmund said, his tone dry.

  “Ah, no, my mistake: that would be you and all of your peers. You cannot break the rules, Christopher. They exist. Your flippant nature does not mean they suddenly disappear.”

  “That’s where you are wrong, brother. In the barracks -”

  “No good sense will ever come from a sentence that starts ‘in the barracks’,” Edmund said. “You have to start taking things seriously. Society is not as forgiving as you seem to think it is.”

  “Perhaps I don’t care for being forgiven,” Christopher said.

  That was too far. For a man like Christopher Hardwicke – or a boy, for all of his twenty years of life – to talk in such a way was obscene. A scandal of any kind would hit their family hard, and their business.

  Edmund could not afford for that, not while he was still trying to establish himself as the head of the company.

  There were rules – no matter what Christopher said. And the penalty for breaking them could be severe. He might even be ostracised, and his family tarred with the same brush.

  Where would Patience, Samuel, and Amy be then? How would they be received when they wanted to enter society?

  “That attitude is exactly why you will not be attending the ball,” Edmund said.

  He stood from his chair, emphasising his words as he faced up to his younger brother.

  There was no chance that he would back down on this, not with the way Christopher was proving himself now.

  “According to whose law?” Christopher retorted. “You aren’t in a position to stop me, Edmund. Or have you forgotten that I’m an officer now? You ought to address me as Lieutenant.”

  “Second Lieutenant,” Edmund said, gesturing towards the single emblem on Christopher’s shoulder. “You don’t even command any men of your own yet.”

  “But I will,” Christopher said, drawing himself up to his full height. “Which is more than you can say. I’ve enough training to put you on your back.”

  “Is that a threat, boy?” Edmund asked, his voice thundering with anger. “You would show me that level of disrespect?”

  “Boy!” Christopher laughed. The sound was false and high – born of tension and mockery, not mirth. “I’m barely even your junior. Don’t talk down to me as if you were Father.”

  “If I were Father, you’d be afraid to raise your voice. You may be only a few years younger than me in age, Christopher, but in maturity and responsibility, you are far further behind than that. Don’t forget who controls your fortunes now.”

  “I don’t need your fortune,” Christopher sneered. “I have my appointment now. The army will pay me.”

  “And let’s see how long you keep that rank if I withdraw my support. How far would you last if you had to become a Private, Christopher? Do you think you would even make it out of training if you weren’t given special allowances?”

  Christopher visibly bristled.

  “Besides which, you’re being ridiculous,” Edmund continued. “You couldn’t even afford to live on the small money you will take from the army. You aren’t accustomed to it. You wouldn’t even be able to keep up your social habits as they are now.”

  “Of course I would,” Christopher said, his face red. “I could raise more money any time I wanted. I’d just have to entice this Lord or that Baron’s son into a game of cards. Then I’d be well off enough.”

  “Gambling, too,” Edmund said, shaking his head. “My, Christopher, you do bring such honour to the Hardwicke name.”

  “Fie on your name!” Christopher shouted. “As if you were such an established gentleman. I’ve heard the rumours, you know. They say that half our customers have abandoned us. No one trusts you. They call you Kelt’s son, still.”

  “They will trust me,” Edmund said, weary of having to defend this point. “And when they do, the business will thrive. I already have such provisions in place as might one day make us the richest family in England. And when I do, you will be crawling back on your knees to me to beg for an allowance.”

  “Or I shall marry rich,” Christopher said, proudly. “I have enough duchesses and ladies to dangle on my hand.”

  “You shall not marry well at all if you continue in this way,” Edmund scowled.

  “What’s more, I don’t see why anyone should wish to marry a pa
uper. Which is what you will be, if I withdraw my money – for it is my money now, Christopher. I will leave you without a penny.”

  Christopher hesitated, his face changing colour and paling.

  “You wouldn’t leave me with nothing,” he said, though his voice was less certain.

  “I would happily do so, if it meant protecting our other brother and sisters from harm,” Edmund said.

  He met Christopher’s gaze head on, eyeing him with a steely look that told of the truth behind his words. He meant everything he had said, and Christopher could see it.

  “You are a beast of a brother,” he said, though the fire was mostly gone from his words now. He was subdued – beaten.

  “Call me what you will. Just know that I have your best interests in my mind, as well as those of the rest of us,” Edmund said.

  He could not afford to be gentle with Christopher, but at least he could emphasise the fact that he did not want to be cruel. “I will not see you ruined unless you drive me to it.”

  Christopher hesitated in the doorway. “You want me to defy my own spirit and become another man,” he said, almost sounding miserable.

  Edmund had heard enough. He pushed his chair back in under his desk with a heavy movement and strode towards Christopher.

  “You are a child,” he said. “Becoming a man at all would be some kind of improvement.”

  Edmund pushed past Christopher roughly, and out into the corridor, determined not to allow this conversation to continue any further.

  When his eyes met those of his startled governess, his anger was too hard to allow anything but cold surprise.

  Chapter 9

  Joanna had not intended to linger in the corridor and listen to the brothers arguing.

  She had heard their voices raised as she came towards the door and had intended to turn away. But as she hesitated, she had seen Christopher step forward into the room, and heard their harsh words.

  That had drawn her to stay, and to listen.

  So, Christopher was here at last: it did not take her long to learn the identity of the strange and unfamiliar man in his red uniform. But all was not well with the two brothers, it seemed.

  She had been on her way to speak to Edmund, wanting to raise concerns about how lonely Samuel seemed to be. She had thought that perhaps there could be a solution – some time spent together, or even Samuel going into London on occasion.

  But it was plain to see now that Edmund was not going to be in the mood for discussion.

  It was the words they exchanged about Christopher attending the ball that made her pause. After all, that matter concerned her: she would be attending along with them.

  And though she knew she should not have listened to their private conversation, their voices were so loud that she could hear it all.

  She was not prepared for Edmund to leave the room. As soon as she knew that he was coming she could not help but let out a gasp.

  Her face flooded with heat in embarrassment at being caught, and she knew that she must have appeared red as a robin’s breast.

  She expected her employer to shout at her, to chastise her for not knowing her place. Instead, he stared at her coldly and then swept by, down the corridor.

  She turned to look after him, but only his coat swirling around the corner after him remained. He was gone, and she could not help but feel that she had made a grave error.

  “Who are you?”

  Joanna turned again, to see Christopher eyeing her with an interested look.

  He had emerged from the office, too, and was leaning casually against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. He did not at all look like a man who had just engaged in such a quarrel.

  “Begging your pardon, sir,” Joanna said, turning her eyes to the floor. “I’m the new governess. Miss Joanna Warrick.”

  “Well, well, Miss Warrick,” Christopher said, his voice full of sly smiles that she could picture even if she dared not look up. “What is a pretty thing like you doing working as a governess?”

  Joanna’s face flared up again, and she stammered, unsure of how to respond.

  “I – I’m not – I…” she took a breath and tried to compose herself. “My family were unable to support me.”

  “Is that so?” Christopher said. His feet shifted, leaning him a little closer towards her.

  For a moment, Joanna was relieved that he did not sound put off or disgusted by her admission that she was in dire need of financial means. Then she hated herself for the feeling.

  Of course she needed support: she was a governess. It was not a position that one generally took for the fun of it.

  “Yes, sir,” Joanna said, trying to turn away. “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I should be getting back to my duties.”

  “Don’t let me stop you, Miss Warrick.”

  Joanna hurried away from him, following after Edmund. Although she was afraid to run into him again, she liked the idea of staying with Christopher even less.

  There was something about his behaviour, his calm and unruffled tone after such a loud and wild quarrel, that unsettled her. How could he be so unmoved when Edmund had appeared so cold and angry?

  She did not stop rushing until she had reached her own quarters and could close the door behind her for the privacy of solitude. Then she could at last sit down on her bed and consider what she had seen and heard.

  Christopher was handsome, though in a more dashing way than his older brother. He had that scar on his cheek, which was immediately noticeable. His hair, too, was worn longer, and tied back behind his head. The red of his jacket was bright and the gold buttons shone.

  Even so, she found herself comparing him to Edmund unfavourably.

  In truth, she could say with a sincere feeling that she knew which of the two brothers she trusted most. It was an instinct in her, and not, she believed, drawn from her more experience of spending time with the older.

  There was something about Christopher that was not pleasant, though she could not say precisely what it was.

  Joanna decided to set her thoughts aside. In her room there was a treat waiting, something she had been looking forward to reading.

  A letter from her older sister, the recently-married Esther Castleford.

  It was still strange to her to hear a different surname appended to Esther, but that was how the letter was signed.

  Joanna opened the letter up and began to read it, savouring every word from her treasured sister.

  My dearest Joanna,

  I do so miss you terribly. Allow me to start with that! A heart that has been separated from its sister must yearn much.

  I hope it cannot be long before we are able to be reunited, even for a short time. You must let me know if your employer will permit you some time to see me. Perhaps he will go abroad and take the children with him? That should leave you some free time!

  Oh Joanna, you must write me back and tell me everything. Are the children terribly darling? I suppose they must be. And is the house grand and inviting? Do they hold balls there and host esteemed guests? I want to know all about it.

  Are they treating you well? I can hardly bear to think of you reduced to such a position. It is unfair, Joanna, terribly unfair. That I should be married just in time and you left so!

  But let me tell you about the latest news with us.

  My wonderful Lord Castleford is such a dear to me. He has purchased for me a new puppy, who is full of life and always eager to please. We have named him Spot. He is rather fun, though I confess I cannot quite keep up with his romps around the grounds. Lord Castleford says we shall have to train him to obey us so that he does not get ideas beyond his station.

  We attended a ball last week with the Mifords. What fun it was!

  Oh, you would have enjoyed it so, Joanna. We all had a good laugh at the antics of you-know-who. She still cannot learn even the simplest steps to any dance. The poor unsuspecting gentleman who requested her hand was quite sore by the end of the night for al
l the trampling over him.

  I had some new gowns for the season, in yellow and lilac. Lord Castleford complains that my dresses are pretty enough but you know how it must be. A Baron’s son ought to show that he can outfit his lady wife admirably!

  The housekeeper here is quite fierce. I have tried to entreat her to change things to my liking and she is a stubborn old mare. I don’t know if I should complain to Lord Castleford about her. What do you think?