Fall into Darkness

by Skyler Andra

  I was no murderer. The Most High had charged me with saving everyone, not deciding who lived and who died. Yet I’d just ordered their death.

  Clouds of black bled from the terrified humans, shaping into tentacles that twisted and rose into the air, circling above the stadium like storm clouds. Purged darkness ready to enhance Luc.

  Horror rattled down my spine. My insides churned. All the screams clamored in my mind.

  “What the fuck did you do, Mike?” Zak growled at me from twenty feet to my right.

  I didn’t answer him. Couldn’t get a word out past my own disgust.

  Luc stood amid the chaos circling above. Hands outstretched, he called his precious dark energy to him.

  My shoulders twitched as I moved forward, ready to crush him, even if I died in the process.

  A strong hand caught me in the chest, holding me back.

  Uri. His posture rigid. “Don’t be stupid. You’re not strong enough.”

  “I don’t care,” I snarled.

  “What’s done is done,” Uri barked. “Let’s finish this another way.”

  I shook all over, unable to control the rage that had taken hold of me, embedding itself in every fiber, blazing hot in my grace.

  Uri thrust his glowing staff into the air, circling it. Scarlet light painted across the dark clouds above, burning a hole in the clouds, revealing sunlight that lit up the stadium. He kept up his trick, breaking apart the clouds.

  The mass split into tentacles, all curling over and diving into the Earth, seeking an escape from the light. The ground quaked beneath our feet.

  Luc looked around, confused. “It’s not working,” he shouted, unable to absorb the darkness. “Something’s wrong.”

  He unfurled his dark, holed wings, and flapped them, carrying himself to where the darkness desperately attempted an escape.

  I smiled. You bet something’s wrong. Your plans are screwed, buddy.

  Maybe the tide was finally turning in our favor.

  Uri dragged the darkness back with his light, drawing it into a giant cloud. His scarlet glow disassembled the filth into smaller blobs, absorbing and transforming it into more raven light that rose into the sky and separated the chokehold of darkness above.

  The light flung Luc backward. “No!” he shrieked, covering his face with an arm. Beneath his arm, his murderous gaze landed on me. Then he vanished like the coward he was.

  The rest of the fallen angel followed suit.

  Zak approached, slamming me in the chest, his face red, eyes pinning me with his glare. “How could you do that?”

  “I had to make a choice,” I replied, the heat burning into my words.

  “What?” Zak snapped. “Save a few for the greater good?”

  “Since when do you care?” My voice spiraled into anger. “You think nothing of smashing a rat.”

  “Punching some sense into them is different to killing them.”

  How dare he. I was the appointed leader. “Don’t question my choices!”

  Zak shoved me backwards. My ass and lower back stung with the pain. Heat scorched my chest and I climbed back to my feet.

  “That’s enough.” Uri stood between us. “Arguing and fighting only serves Luc’s agenda.”

  A dent formed in Zak’s cheek as he tensed it. “I’m out of here.”

  “Yeah, go on,” I goaded him, ready for a fight, anything to take away the pain exploding inside me. I deserved to be beaten to a pulp. To feel the pain of all the humans who’d lost their child, lover, friend or spouse. “Leave when it gets tough. Like you always do.”

  “What?”

  “You respect no one. Nothing. You checked out three years ago.”

  “Fuck you, Mike,” Zak snarled. I expected him to snap and thump me. But the words that came out his mouth hit me hard and I stepped backward. “You self righteous bastard. Up on your heavenly pedestal. You think you’re above us all. The Prince of Heaven. Well guess what? You’re just like Luc. Proud, stubborn, refusing to admit when you’re wrong.”

  Each word ricocheted through me like a blast from the bombs. Fuck him. I was nothing like Luc. Never would be. I widened my stance ready to smack him.

  Uri grabbed me this time. “This is pointless. And it’s what Luc wants. To divide us. Make us weak. Like he did last time. But we have to stay together.”

  Uri was right. Divided we played right into Luc’s dirty hands. Fed him more darkness, contributing to his power. Luc got a kick out of us killing each other. It was more fun for the sick bastard that way. No more.

  “You’re right,” I said. “I’m sorry, brother. Let’s get out of here.”

  No point in sticking around. I had to figure out why Luc had kidnapped Raff and what he wanted him for. There had to be a reason beyond taunting us, making us loose hope with each angel we lost. A grand master plan that I had to discover in order to stop my brother. Because right now, he seemed constantly two steps ahead of us, and I had to find a way to tip the balance. Get ahead of him for a change.

  31

  Jophiel

  Uri, Mike and Zak entered the apartment, their eyes bleary, expressions tight.

  “What happened?” I asked, jumping up to meet them.

  I hugged Zak first, grateful they'd returned safe.

  But he didn't return the gesture, stiffening in my grasp. Head bent, he brushed past me, making his way into the kitchen, and grabbing small glasses from the shelf. “I just want to get shitfaced and forget it.”

  “That bad, huh?” Raphael asked, getting to his feet and wobbling a bit.

  “Raff!” Uri cried, crossing the room, to hug him. “God, where you been hiding?”

  “Shit! I didn't see you there.” Zak grabbed an extra glass and poured vodka into all four glasses. “Want a drink?”

  I shivered at the idea of consuming it. After the drugging incident in Luc’s lair I still felt ill. That atop of the disgust and guilt that lodged in my chest.

  “Nah mate.” Raphael waved his hand.

  “I've missed you, mate.” Uri embraced Raphael and slapped him on the back. “Where you been?”

  “Easy there,” Raphael said. “I’m a little unsteady on my feet. Haven’t used my legs in who knows how long.”

  “That’s all right.” Uri grinned. “A little training with Uri will build up your strength.”

  Raphael smiled for the first time since we’d met. We hadn’t spoken much after Mike had left for the stadium. I hadn’t wanted any company. I’d locked myself in the bedroom, my back to the wall, holding my legs to my chest. Sick with worry for all of them, and punishing myself for taking that man’s life.

  “Luc nabbed me,” Raphael explained.

  “Prick.” Uri grinned.

  Zak brought the shot glasses into the lounge room. “Come on. Have a drink with us. Tell us your story. Celebrate our misery.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at Mike. He stayed in the foyer, leaning against the door, rubbing his forehead. The mission hadn’t gone well. My stomach clenched even tighter.

  “Noooo.” Raphael lifted his palms. “I've got enough sedative in my system to last me a week.”

  “What?” Uri asked with a look of bewilderment.

  Raphael filled him in on his whereabouts. The same story he’d fed us. But I detected something hidden behind it, and it left me unable to entirely trust Raphael. Another reason why I wanted to be alone before.

  Meanwhile, I crept over to Mike in the foyer. “Everything all right?”

  He ran a hand through his hair three times. “No.”

  “Want to talk about it?” I clasped his cold hand and warmed it between mine.

  “Not now.” He pulled away from me, entering the lounge.

  My chest tightened. I didn’t understand what was going on. But I wanted to offer my support. I followed him, wondering what had happened, if Lucifer had done something terrible. I examined them for wounds, not even finding a scratch, so they mustn’t have battled him.

  Mike’s hand s
hook as he grabbed a shot glass, throwing his head back and downing the contents in one gulp. “Gimme another one.”

  Zak glared at him, but didn’t offer the bottle.

  I sensed a simmering tension between Mike and Zak. Something had happened at the stadium. A bad outcome leading to another fight? The heat of it still swirled in Mike’s grace. I’d find out in due course.

  Mike snatched the bottle and poured another three glasses, consuming his.

  “You’re going to need this,” he told me, wiping his face.

  I shook my head. “No thanks.” But he wrapped the glass in my hand. The pungent smell of the vodka stung my nose.

  A heavy silence folded around us as Mike, Uri and Zak drank shot after shot. Five in all I counted. I shook my head. Mike of all people shouldn’t be punishing his body like this. Not after the events at Lucifer’s lair. Maybe he didn’t feel the side effects of the sedative like I did. Or he ignored it. I dug into his grace, searching for an answer. He punished himself on purpose. At that thought, a darkness swallowed me, leaving me worrying for him.

  I glanced at Raphael and he smiled, then stared down at his hands.

  After some time, I asked, “What misery are we celebrating?”

  Mike’s body tightened and he shifted on the seat.

  Zak hissed after he finished the last drink. “Got another one of these, Uri?” he slurred.

  “Yeah.” Uri brought another bottle from a cabinet in the kitchen and poured another set of vodka shots.

  Frustrated with the silence, I clapped my other hand around the glass. “So things didn’t go according to plan then?”

  “You got that right,” Zak growled, jabbing a wobbling finger at Mike.

  Mike got up and crossed to the kitchen, keeping his back to us all. His torso swelled and contracted as he took deep breaths, bracing his hands on the sink. I wanted to go to him, rub his back, whisper soothing thoughts. But I sensed he didn’t want that right now.

  Seventh Heaven! These stubborn angels. Why wouldn’t they tell me what had happened?

  Uri fiddled with his bracelet on his wrist.

  Zak noticed and pulled out another bracelet from his pocket. “That reminds me, Raff. I Found this.” He held it out for Raphael with a swaying arm.

  “Thanks, brother.” Raphael untied the leather knot and secured the band over his wrist. He twisted it, the green stone, admiring it. “They’re going to come for me, you know.”

  Everyone stared at him.

  “We have to be ready,” Raff warned.

  My blood iced over.

  “Like we were ready for the concert?” Zak stared hard at Mike with bloodshot eyes. “The bomb Mike exploded?”

  “Fuck,” Mike cursed under his breath.

  “The what?” I asked, squeezing the glass, my gaze darting between Mike and Zak.

  “Mike here.” Zak collected another drink, preparing to drown himself in alcohol to wipe away some form of pain. “Perfect Mike. Righteous Mike.”

  Michael climbed to his feet, his fists curled, his body shaking. “Don’t.”

  Zak swallowed his drink and wiped his face. “He detonated a bomb and killed several hundred people.”

  My throat seized.

  “You asshole,” Mike grabbed him by the throat, pushing him, the chair tumbling backward with them both on it.

  The world span before my eyes. I lost my breath.

  Shouts filled the room as Uri and Raphael leapt up to stop Mike.

  I squeezed the glass so tight it smashed in my hands. Blood dripped down the side of my hand. I ran to the bedroom where I fell to the floor, curling up in the corner, holding myself. I covered my ears, blocking out the commotion. Rocking back and forth, Zak’s words thumped in my head. Mike had killed hundreds of people. It reminded me of what I’d done. Heaven help me, I’d killed someone. I was beyond redemption now.

  I sat like that for who knew how long. The door opened and Zak stumbled inside the room. He closed the door after himself.

  “Uri said I had to lie down and sleep it off.” He stumbled, almost tripping over his feet.

  He fell to his knees beside me, laughing.

  “Come here,” Zak grabbed me by the waist, pulling me close.

  I moved from his grasp.

  “Playing hard to get, huh?” He kissed my neck and I shuffled away.

  He seized me, digging his fingers in, not letting me go.

  “Stop it,” I said, tried to push his arm away, but he was much stronger than me. Visions of the man who had assaulted me, played over in my mind. I couldn’t breath from the memory haunting me.

  Zak lifted me, climbed to his feet, swaying. He almost dropped me as he carried me to the bed.

  “I need you,” he whispered in my ear, setting me down roughly. “I need to forget what happened.” He pinned my arms above my head.

  “No.” I thrashed my body to get free. “I don’t want to.”

  “Yes you do.” Zak ran his hands along my body.

  “No,” I shouted. Blood rushed in my head, pounding like drums. I trembled beneath Zak as he leaned over me.

  “Why are you playing hard to get?” His green eyes blazed with a new darkness.

  The door burst open.

  “Let her go,” Mike interrupted.

  “Stay out of it,” Zak growled, lifting my dress.

  “Zak,” Mike shouted. “I'm fucking warning you.”

  “C'mon,” Zak said gruffly. “I had a shit day. I need her.”

  “No, Zak.” My throat stung. Tears streamed down my face.

  Mike grabbed Zak by the shoulder. “Let her go. You’re terrifying her. She was fucking assaulted you asshole.”

  Zak released my wrists me as if I were dirty goods. “I...I.” He sat back on his legs.

  I sat up. My gaze fell to the floor.

  “Who was he?” he growled. “I’ll kill him.”

  Words I didn’t want to hear, even though they soothed some part of me, the human side who liked to be cared for by a man.

  “Shut up,” Mike warned.

  “He’s dead,” I whimpered, looking up. “I killed him!”

  “You what?” Zak’s eyes studied me as if he didn’t believe me. Then realization hit. He stared at me as if I’d changed. As if he didn’t know me anymore. “Oh, fuck. What have I done?”

  “Here.” Mike yanked Zak off the bed, trying to drag him out of the bedroom. “Come sleep it off out here.”

  Zak shirked him off and stumbled away.

  “I’ve got to get out of here,” he slurred, swaying on his feet. “I can’t be here anymore. I just hurt people.” He swallowed, his face scrunching up like a child about to burst into tears. “I fuck everything up.”

  “No.” I grabbed him by the arm, not even thinking. He was in no state to be going out alone. Who knows what stupid thing he might do to punish himself. “You can’t go. We have to stay together.”

  His eyes moistened. For the first time I had seen real emotion. The Archangel behind the steel walls. He’d hurt me. The pain, guilt and remorse of it showed. I forgave him in a heartbeat. He’d been drunk, not thinking properly, and I understood the need to just want to forget. I too wanted to forget. Just not in the same way as he did.

  “I can’t.” He shook his head. “I can’t.”

  “Yes you can.” I refused to let go, but Mike dragged me backward.

  “It’s his choice,” he said. “Let him sort his head out.”

  “I’m not sorting my head out,” Zak snapped. “I can’t deal with this shit anymore. Can’t deal with my…” He stopped and glanced at me. He cupped my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m sorry.”

  “No,” I sobbed, fighting Mike’s grip, but he held me tight to his stomach.

  “Let him go,” Mike whispered into my ear.

  Zak staggered from the room and several moments later I heard the front door slam.

  When Mike’s grip eased, I wrenched myself from it, running out after Zak. Out in the hallway, I
descended the staircase, two steps at a time. I burst out of the doors to the apartment block, rushing out onto the street, find Zak start up his motorcycle and ride away.

  Seventh Heaven! He was in no state to drive. The stupid, stubborn angel might kill himself.

  My heart ached to watch him leave. He’d stolen a piece of it. A piece I doubted I’d ever get back. I didn’t understand his reasons for leaving. I doubted I would in this state of mind. All I knew was that I needed a drink to calm my nerves.

  A few seconds later, boots scraped on the pavement behind me.

  “Hey there, beautiful.” Uri’s voice. “Wanna come inside and I’ll make you a cup of coffee. With a whole bag of beans. Just the way you like it.”

  That sounded terrible. But terrible was all I felt right now, inside and out. I snorted at his attempt at a joke, blowing snot out of my nose. I wiped it with my wrist, and rubbed the tears from my eyes with my fingers.

  “Okay.” I looked up at him.

  He brushed his thumb along my cheek lightly. “You’re a light in this dark world, remember?”

  “No I’m not.” I pressed my hands tight to my side. “Not anymore.”

  I’d lost my light when I’d killed that man. I couldn’t be Uri’s buoy anymore. I’d only drag him down with me. My heart ached even more at the thought of destroying his beautiful light.

  He lifted my chin with a finger, forcing me to look at him. “You killed someone, didn’t you?”

  I bit my lip and nodded, holding back the tears.

  He gave me a bleak smile. “Self defense doesn’t count.”

  I tore my chin away. “I’m never going to be the same again.”

  “Nonsense.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, gently drawing me back to his apartment. “Look at old Uri. I’m still smiling, aren’t I? You will too after a while. You just wait.”

  I hoped he was right. Because right now I couldn’t see the light from the darkness. Everything had deteriorated in a matter of a day. Something terrible had happened at the concert, leading to Mike to kill people for whatever reason, and he tried to hide it from me. Zak had left when he realized he’d hurt me. Raphael hid secrets. The only one I felt I could trust was Uri.