Her Texan to Tame

by Sara Orwig

  “We won’t, because you don’t want to. Don’t quit your job. You like it here and I like your cooking. I can work with you as employer and cook. I do need a cook. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”

  Wondering if he would do exactly what he said, she gazed at him. She finally nodded. “Very well. That would be good. This is a wonderful job.”

  “Fine. That’s settled and we can let everything else go. Don’t worry or concern yourself about what’s happened between us. I’ll still go to church with you, for the same reason I told you the first time, unless you definitely don’t want me to go.”

  “Oh, no. I’ll be glad for you to go with me. I don’t want men asking me out.”

  “Good. I don’t either,” he said, smiling at her, and she smiled in return. Ryan was being kind, understanding and cooperative again—all the more reason she needed to keep a distance from him. Everything he did drew her to him. All her anger tonight—she had to admit that most of it had been directed at herself. She was the one who should have said no and walked away from making love, but she had wanted him with all her being.

  “That’s better,” Ryan said, sounding genuinely relieved. “I don’t want to hurt or worry you. I want to see you smile. We’ve got that settled. That’s all I wanted. I’ll go back to my workout unless you want to sit and talk for a few minutes.”

  For a moment she debated asking him to stay, which was what she’d have liked, but then wisdom said to let him go. She had to start keeping a distance from him.

  “I suppose you should return to your workout and I have to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow about time to leave for church.”

  “Sure, Jessie. Tonight was special, but I’m sorry if it upset you.”

  “I’m okay and we’re working it out where everything will be better,” she replied, knowing it wouldn’t seem better, but in the long run, it had to be better for her. Ryan could have an affair and walk away, but she couldn’t, so that was that.

  She watched him leave the room, her gaze running over him while her insides felt squeezed by an invisible fist. It was for the best, she reminded herself, trying to ignore the hurt and the forlorn feeling she had and the longing to be in his arms again.

  * * *

  Ryan left, heading back for his gym, but his thoughts were still on Jessica. She had hesitated for only a few seconds, but it was long enough that for an instant he’d thought she was going to ask him to stay. Instead, when she had merely nodded, he had risen, pushed his chair back to the table and left the room. He was disappointed she hadn’t wanted him to stay and talk, but at least she had looked happier, relieved, and they were on better footing.

  In the gym, he got on a treadmill to run, hoping to wear himself out so he could sleep and to run off the great longing he felt for Jessica. He had to forget her. The idea was ludicrous. He was about as likely to forget Jessica as he was to forget his identity.

  It was less than two hours away from dawn when he finally sprawled in his bed, alone, and fell asleep.

  * * *

  The next morning he showered, shaved and dressed in his navy suit. Even knowing he had to stay professional and impersonal and keep his hands to himself, he couldn’t wait to see her. When she walked into the informal living area that overlooked the pool and patio, Ryan turned, his attention caught by Jessie.

  Dressed in a hot-pink suit, she looked ready for a photo shoot. Her hair was piled on her head, a far more formal look. She wore diamond studs in her ears.

  He stood the moment she came through the door. “You look nice and you don’t look as if you missed five minutes’ sleep.”

  “Thank you. I’m ready for church.”

  “Then we might as well go,” he said, thinking he was making a monumental effort to remain polite and remote, to keep his remarks professional. He had a lot of other things he would far prefer to say and do. She walked out at his side and soon they drove away from the ranch.

  It was a strain, but he spent the morning keeping his distance in every way. After church they did not remain in town to eat. The more he was with her, the more he wanted to let go and be himself, say what he wanted to her, touch her. Tomorrow morning he was heading to Houston to work for a few days. But in the meantime, he could foresee another sleepless night. How long before he began to get over her and forget about her?

  He knew what he needed to do. He had to go out with someone else and try to get Jessica out of his system in every way. There was definitely no future with her.

  At the ranch, he went to his suite to work on his computer while she got Sunday supper on the table. After she called him, he ate in a silent informal dining area. He was alone and didn’t even see her. After dinner he left for the study to get out things he could work on, but after an hour he pushed the papers aside and decided to head for the bunkhouse and see what was happening there.

  As he glanced outside, he saw Jessica bob up in the pool, which shocked him. He had guessed she would avoid any spot where she might encounter him, especially the pool. As if he were a puppet on a string with no control over his limbs, he headed outside for the pool.

  He walked to the edge and waited until she surfaced. She broke through the water, her wet blond hair swinging behind her face. He smiled at her. “How’s the water?”

  “Quite warm and pleasant. I’ll be out in a minute if you’re coming in.”

  His pool was definitely big enough for the both of them. He pulled a chair over and sat. She went under and shortly bobbed up farther away to swim to the deep end. It would make her happier if he left. Following his resolution and statements to her, he got up and returned to the house, going to his room to change into jeans, and then headed to the bunkhouse to see what the men were doing.

  * * *

  Jessica came up for air and saw Ryan going back into the house. As with everything involving him now, she felt both disappointed and relieved. She missed him constantly being with her. She missed his touches, his humor, his companionship. She had to admit she missed his lovemaking, too, but logically, this had to be better for her, so she was grateful to him again.

  She swam for another half hour, climbed out and went in to shower and dress in jeans and her red T-shirt. She went to the kitchen to try a new recipe for next week’s dinner.

  * * *

  Monday Ryan left for Houston and said he would be back on Thursday. She spent the days trying new recipes and cooking casseroles to put in the freezer for whenever Ryan would want them.

  With each day, she missed him more instead of less and she missed the closeness they’d had. She hoped with a little more time, she would get over wanting to be with Ryan.

  What she had gotten over faster than she had dreamed would be possible was her failed marriage. That was one more thing that she had to be grateful to Ryan for. Because he was the biggest reason. All he had meant to her, and the quiet and solitude of his ranch.

  She looked out the kitchen window at the land he loved so much. All around the house and the ranch were reminders of Ryan. Nowhere could she escape thoughts of him.

  Did he care that they no longer shared the closeness they’d had? She wondered how much it had meant to Ryan. Did he even think about her when he was in Houston?

  Did he miss her the way she missed him?

  Ten

  Ryan stood in his Houston office and looked out over the rooftops without seeing any of them. Instead he saw big blue eyes and a dimpled smile. He missed Jessie more than he had thought possible. She was right that they had no future together, so this was the way it had to be, and the sooner the better for both of them.

  It all made sense when he thought it through, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted a full-blown affair and then he could let go. Deep down, each time he thought that, he suspected he was not being hones
t with himself. He wanted Jessie in his life—period. All the time. He thought about her constantly and he wanted to go back to the ranch to be with her. He missed her. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, make her laugh, make love to her, do whatever he could to keep her happy.

  Unfortunately, the way to keep her happy was to stay away from her.

  He hated not seeing her. He had never felt this way about someone before. Never. He called Jeb every day and asked about her. He hadn’t gone home on Thursday as he’d planned and had been away from the ranch all of last week and most of this week. Today was Thursday, the second week of July, and he planned to spend another weekend in Houston, which was beginning to get him down.

  He paced his office, circling back to the window as if he could look out and see his ranch, which was absolutely impossible. He felt caged in. He could not think of a single woman he knew that he wanted to go out with or even talk to. None but one.

  Jessie.

  In the afternoon he left his office to go shopping. Whether she went out of his life soon or next year, he wanted to get her something. She was important to him. He went to a jeweler he dealt with and spent the next two hours looking at necklaces and bracelets, finally deciding on a gold filigree necklace sprinkled with diamonds. In the center of the necklace sat a six-carat diamond encircled by smaller diamonds. He didn’t know whether she would accept it or not, but he wanted to give her something lasting.

  Anytime he thought about life without Jessie and contemplated the time when, in a year, she would pack and go forever, he hurt. He thought about his brother Zach, who had spent his adult life in demolition, getting so good at it that he was in demand worldwide. Zach had had wanderlust and had seldom been in the U.S., even less often at home in Texas. That was until he met Emma. Zach had tossed aside his whole way of life for her. He had settled down; he lived in Dallas and worked in an office that he went to daily.

  Ryan thought about Jessie having to go home to Tennessee. Was Tennessee something she absolutely would not give up? Was living on the ranch something he wouldn’t give up if it meant losing her?

  Was that love?

  He rubbed his head, which was beginning to hurt. Was he really in love enough to want to get married? It had happened too fast, too out of the blue.

  On an impulse, he called Zach and made an appointment to have lunch with him the next day. He needed his brother.

  * * *

  Friday afternoon he flew to Dallas to meet Zach. At the restaurant as he sat across from his brother and ate a few bites of his burger, he told Zach about Jessie’s father being so impressed by the Colt revolver. They talked about work and family throughout lunch and when they were finished, Ryan paid the check.

  “It was good to see you,” Ryan said.

  Zach leaned forward and placed his arms on the table, pushing his plate aside. “Ryan, why the hell did you call me for lunch? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he said, suddenly unable to tell his brother his problem.

  They stared at each other and Ryan clamped his mouth closed tightly. “I’m fine, Zach.”

  “No, you’re not. I’m trying to figure out what it is. Is your health okay?”

  “Yes,” he said, letting out his breath. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “I know it isn’t money—unless you’ve taken up gambling.”

  Ryan had to laugh and shake his head. “Zach, how’d you make the transition from traveling all over the world to becoming a homebody?”

  Zach’s eyes narrowed and he studied his younger brother.

  “Don’t you dare laugh.”

  Zach couldn’t hold it in. “Sorry, Ryan. This day has been a long time coming. Good grief. Propose to her. You’ll survive getting married. It’s a lot better than being single if you really love each other.”

  “How do you know if you really love each other?”

  Zach laughed again. “I think you can answer your own question. That’s probably why you didn’t even bring this up after calling me.” He sat up as if about to leave, but then his eyes narrowed again. “There must be a problem.... She doesn’t like the ranch.”

  “Jessie loves the ranch.”

  “She can’t gripe about your family. None of us meddle in each other’s lives.”

  “She won’t leave Tennessee.”

  “She’s left it now.”

  “She’s going back. She wants to live there and open her own restaurant and she’s determined to do so.”

  “Ahh, I see.” Zach stood and Ryan followed. “You’ll work it out some way,” Zach said as they walked out of the restaurant and paused in the parking lot. “I didn’t think this day would ever come. I never thought it would happen to me. It does, bro, and if you can work it all out, it’s great. Emma is my life. I wouldn’t trade traveling everywhere for being with her for anything.” He thumped his brother’s shoulder lightly with his fist. “Cheer up, Ryan. You’ll figure something out. And if it’s not the real thing, you’ll figure that out, too.”

  “Oh, thanks. I figured I’d get great words of wisdom from you,” Ryan snapped, annoyed he had called Zach in the first place. “I don’t want to hear anything about this at family gatherings.”

  Zach grinned. “Sure thing. Your secret is my secret. Why do I think everyone can guess just about as easily as I did?”

  “Dammit, Zach—”

  Zach laughed. “I’ll see you, little brother. Take care of yourself and thanks for the lunch.” He turned to head for his car.

  “Dammit,” Ryan repeated, wishing he had never had lunch with Zach. He wasn’t one bit closer to getting answers to the questions he had and now Zach would torment him about being in love with Jessie.

  In love with Jessie. How deep did his feelings really run? He was beginning to think really deep because the more he thought about it, the more he wanted her. He wanted her in his life all the time. He wanted to know she would be there when he came home.

  He pulled out his phone to call his pilot. He was going home to the ranch and to Jessie. To hell with staying away. He wanted to be with her, even if he had to sit across a room and keep his conversation politely impersonal.

  * * *

  Jessica wondered about Ryan. He had told her he wouldn’t be home again this weekend. She was convinced she had run him off. He was doing everything she had asked him to do—he no longer stayed at the ranch. She didn’t hear from him and had no contact with him. He’d stayed away on the Fourth of July and she’d sat alone on the porch to watch the fireworks the ranch hands shot off. Jeb had politely invited her to join all the families at the pond where they were picnicking and lighting fireworks, but she had thanked him and declined.

  She missed Ryan, more than she had ever thought she would. Had she gone from one problem to another one?

  She was over her problems at home, but now she had replaced them with new hurts.

  How could she have fallen in love with Ryan so swiftly? If it was because she was on the rebound, which she had first thought, it seemed as if it would pass. The longing for him, the feelings she had for him—nothing had diminished in his absence. Far from it. She felt as if she missed him more than ever. Each day seemed worse and it seemed as if he had been gone much longer.

  The ranch was quiet, solitary, empty without him. She had asked Jeb to let her get a pup and bring it to the house so she would have some company. He had come up to meet her and walked with her, introducing her to anyone they encountere
d that she hadn’t already met. She had sat on the floor of the porch of the bunkhouse and played with the pups, finally picking a furry brown-and-white one.

  That had been two days ago. Now the pup lived in a little area fenced by chicken wire that Jeb had made in the yard and another dog pen in the kitchen with a small crate and a soft pillow for a bed. Even though the pup was cute and was fun, it couldn’t replace Ryan. She missed him and longed for him. She had fallen in love with him. There wasn’t a question in her mind whether or not she loved him. It was a matter of how long it would take her to get over him.

  She had never intended for this to happen. She sat in the grass in the yard, playing with the pup, wondering how she had gone from hurting over one problem to hurting over another when she had come out here to recover and stop hurting.

  She heard a car but didn’t glance around, because cowboys came and went all hours of the day and night.

  When the car stopped close to the house, she did look up...and she froze. She blinked as if she were imagining what she was seeing, because she recognized Ryan’s black car. He was already out, striding toward the back gate.

  She set the pup in the grass, stepped over the chicken wire and turned to watch Ryan approach in long strides. Her heart pounded and she wanted to run to him and throw her arms around his neck. She tucked back a lock of her hair that blew across her cheek. Ryan was in jeans and a navy knit shirt and he looked more handsome than ever. She became aware of her dusty cutoffs, her red T-shirt, her hair swiftly pulled back in a ponytail. And then she forgot everything else except Ryan.

  She stood there, still fighting the impulse to go hug him, telling herself to remember what she should do.

  Her heart thudded as he walked directly toward her. She wondered whether he would hug her, but then he stopped only feet away. “Hi,” he said.