Bright Lights Billionaire
Page 51
"And what about you? Do you want me to resist you too? Were you bullshitting me the other day back at the studio?" The path my questioning was leading us down was dangerous. I respected Clay. I was in awe of him. I was in love with Ethan. In complete lust with him.
I hated myself for all of it. It was all a mistake.
"Yes. Resist me too, Riley. You have to." He leaned down and kissed me as someone cleared their throat in the background.
I jerked out of his hold and turned to find Deza standing a few feet from me. "I'm headed back to the studio if you need a ride."
"She doesn't," Clayton answered for me. "She's riding with me."
Deza nodded once and turned, walking back down the hall. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stop her. With the charade she and Ethan had been playing since day one, nothing really mattered anymore anyways.
"I love him. Not you." I glanced back at Clay and locked my jaw. I was the only truthful one in the bunch and it was time to start telling the truth.
His warm smile surprised me. "I know that, but neither of us deserve a woman like you. As long as he doesn't have you... I'm fine not having you either."
"Good. I'll meet you out front." I turned and walked back in the studio, not sure what to do or say to anyone. My heart was broken because of Ethan's choice to keep his relationship with Deza from me.
And yet... sadly enough, all I wanted to do was see him. To hear his side of the story. More than anything, I wanted to give him another chance to redeem himself. He needed a million of them where the world was concerned, but with me, he only needed one.
If he wasn't with Deza, and he honestly loved me, then I'd wipe his slate clean and support him in anything he needed me to.
But if he lied or didn't love me... We were done.
For good.
* * *
"I'm here if you need me." Clayton rubbed the top of my back as I walked into the main studio.
My lungs burned with the need for more oxygen, but I was having trouble remembering to breathe. Everything was about to change. I could feel it.
"Thank you," I whispered and made my way to where Ethan and Deza stood, arguing in each other's face. What was happening to us?
Too much pressure?
Too much drama?
We were only human, and humans cracked under too much of anything - good or bad.
"You could have fucking told me." Ethan pointed his finger in her face as she pushed it away.
He glanced over at me and let out a long sigh. "D. We're done with this shit. Get outta my face before I say some shit that is really going to hurt you."
"Fine." She turned around and moved past me without looking my way at all.
All the signs pointed to him lying to me.
"Why didn't you call?" He turned his dark eyes on me, and for a minute I wanted so badly to run to him. To pull him close and promise him the world if he would leave her and give me a chance. I was supposed to be his. I had no doubt. Not even a small one.
"You could have called too." I studied him and coached myself to breathe.
"You're right." He glanced toward the ground. "Did you see the video?"
"Yeah. Everyone in the world did." I crossed my arms over my chest.
Don't cry. Please, please, just don't cry.
"It wasn't true."
"It looked pretty true to me." I kept my voice steady. Mom was gone. Derick. Deza. Why not Ethan now?
"Don't believe what you see." He closed the distance between us. "Believe in me. For one goddamn time in my life. I need someone to believe in me."
I jerked as he reached out and pulled me tightly against him, where I belonged. "I want to, Ethan. I really do."
"Then do it." He brushed his nose by mine, his voice breaking and killing me in the process. "She kissed me to make Darren jealous. It was fucked up and it caught me off guard, but I didn't kiss her, and she doesn't have feelings for me. There's nothing between us."
"No?" I reached up and touched the side of his face. The pain in his eyes was enough to break me down.
"No, baby. I promise. I fucking swear."
"Why do you care what I think, Ethan? We're just friends-with-benefits, right?"
His expression darkened. "I care what you think because we are friends. I need you to know that I didn't do anything. I didn’t lie. Even though everything points to the opposite."
He had his chance to tell me that he loved me and he passed it up.
Maybe he didn't love me after all.
Assess, make the determination and act accordingly.
Chapter 83
Ethan
The question on her face left me sick. If Riley didn't believe in me... who would? I was as good as ruined if the woman I loved was willing to walk away from me.
"All right guys. Let's get busy. We're going to walk through the rain scene. Everything is set up outside. You two pull this off and we're done for the day." Frank walked up to us and patted both of us on the back. "I know we're all going through a lot of shit. No need to overdo anything up here right now."
"Sounds good. Can we have just another minute? I need to-" I started, but Riley cut me off.
"Great. Let's get to it." She pulled back and walked toward the set, leaving me standing there to look like an idiot in front of Frank. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.
I walked out toward the trailers, not particularly liking the way Clayton watched my woman. She might be pissed at me over the Deza stuff, but it would get cleared up. There was no room for him to move in. I wanted to make sure he knew that.
"Ethan. How are you, man? Just causing a ruckus everywhere right now." Clay smirked.
"I'll kill you if you had anything to do with this. You bent me over sideways a few years back, but I came out swinging." I lifted my hands to my sides. "I'm still acting. You're teaching now, old man."
"If insulting me makes the sting die down a little when you realize that Riley already belongs to me... go for it. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to make the movie the best it can be and live my life."
"I'll kill you, Clayton. Mark my words."
He nodded. "I believe you. Better get over there and save your job, or your budding relationship. Whichever means more to you."
"What?" I walked toward Frank and Riley, hating the fucker behind me. "You and your cryptic language. I'll save both, thank you very much."
"Who are you talking to?" Frank reached out and pulled me into a side hug.
"Clayton. I hate that fucker."
"That fucker is making this movie much better with his skill set. Be nice." Frank squeezed me into a hug and moved back. "Get in your places. You know your lines?"
"Yes. Of course we do," I barked at him and moved up onto the set with Riley. "Baby."
"Don't. I don't know where I am in all of this right now and I don't want to cry. I want to be professional for another hour and then we can talk."
"You promise, Ri?" We were too close to being together for me to lose her now.
"Yes. Of course." She turned and stiffened.
Clayton walked toward us, stopping by Frank. "So much is going on right now. We should walk through a quick exercise to get both Riley and Ethan in character."
"We're good. I've done this a time or two," I called out to him, trying like hell not to come off as a complete asshole. It wasn't going to do me any favors. "And Riley is a natural. You said so yourself."
"And you're both human. It's a good improv. Just relax and let me help." Clayton glanced down at Frank as I held my tongue.
Frank nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. Let's just make it quick."
"Of course." He moved to the edge of the set as I gave him a death stare. All the other crazy crap moving around the edges of my world were nothing compared to what my ex-mentor was up to. Riley's breathing was off, and it had to be because of him.
Fear rose up sharply inside of me. Was something up between them? No. I couldn't let myself go there. I'd not survive it.
"Okay." He smiled, the bastard looking so much like the man I'd become like brothers with. "We're going to do a quick set. Ethan, you're heading out of town. You're completely in love with Riley, and she's in love with you. The two of you have been sleeping together, making love every night for months."
"All right. That's easy." I turned to face her as tears filled her eyes. "Hey. What's wrong?"
Clayton didn't stop. "Problem is, you're not coming back. You have someone else in another city, so you're going to have to leave and make her believe you're coming back."
The tear dripped down her face and I glanced over at him. "Just a minute, dude. She's upset."
"She's had a pretty shitty day, thanks to you." Clayton crossed his arms over his chest. "Riley."
She glanced toward him as a soft sob left her, ripping my soul open.
"Baby." I reached out, but she pulled away from me. "Riley."
"You okay?" Clayton asked her softly.
"Yeah. Keep going. I'm good." She wiped at her face and turned to face me. "I'm good. Just a lot going on in my head. This will be good for me. It'll give me clarity."
"That's right, Ri." Clayton moved closer.
I whipped my head his way. "It's Riley to you, Clayton. Keep it that way."
"Of course. I'm sorry for stepping over any boundaries." He lifted his hands. "Anyway. Riley, you're going to pour out your heart to him. You have a feeling he's not coming back. Tell him how you feel, be completely open while in character. How do you feel about him?"
"My character’s name?" She reached up and wiped at her face again.
Something was going on... but what? Every hair on my body stood to attention. Like someone was playing a cosmic joke on my ass.
"Eliza, and Ethan, you'll be Mark."
"Fine." I moved toward her. "We don't have to do this."
"No. We do."
Clayton spoke up again. "When she's done spilling her heart out before you, Ethan. Ask her if she's being real or just playing the part she's been given."
"What? Why?" I glanced over at him. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." I felt like a ten-year-old boy again, scared, alone, fucked by life. She was about to walk out of my life. I could feel it with every ounce of life inside of me. I had to stop it. But how?
"You'll want to ask her, Ethan. She'll put on such a great performance that you'll be questioning it yourself. Was it real, or just another scene in a movie? A part that the beautiful girl has been asked to play."
I growled softly as she locked eyes with me.
Clayton droned on. "And Riley."
She glanced over toward him as if he held some power over her. I was for sure going to kill his ass. I'd have Liam do it and make it look like an accident.
"Yes?" she whispered.
"You're going to assess, make the determination and act accordingly." He smiled lovingly. "And then answer him with whatever your heart tells you to say, okay?"
"What? I don't understand-" Anger burned through me as Frank lifted his hands and yelled.
"Ethan! Damn, man. Just do the improv and let’s get rolling. It's a short skit to open you guys up emotionally. Come on already."
"Fine," I barked and turned back to her. "I don't know what's going on right now, but I don't like it."
She nodded and moved toward me, her expression shifting from something close to fear to the most loving look she'd given me to date. It had the power to melt me.
"I don't want you to go." Tears filled her pretty blue eyes.
I reached out and touched the side of her face, forcing myself into character as bile rose up my chest. Something was ending between us. I couldn't let it happen. I'd rather die than miss out on whatever we could have together. For the first time in my life... I wanted love. Her love.
"Baby. I'm just going on a quick trip up north." I smiled and leaned down, kissing her cheek and brushing her tear away with my lips. "Don't be sad. I'll be back in a couple of days."
"Will you?" She pulled back a little.
"You know I will, Eliza." I brushed her tears from her face and pulled her in closer. "Hear me when I tell you that you're the only woman for me. No one else means anything."
"What do I mean?" She tilted her head to the side and watched me.
I was in character. I could tell her that I loved her. That I dreamt of what we could be someday. That she's the one I wanted to bear my children and build a home beside me. I couldn't get it out. Fear held me in place. What if she saw right through my facade and called me out on it? What if they were wrong? Deza? Clayton? Frank? What if she didn't love me back?
Clayton's voice shocked me. "Riley. He's not going to respond. It's your line to spill your heart, remember?"
"Right." She took a deep breath and the light in her eyes dimmed.
"Wait." I licked at my lips, ready to say something, though I didn't know what.
"No. I need you to know how much I love you." She closed her eyes as tears ran down her face again. "I've loved you since the day we met. I think of you when I get up in the morning. I wish we could make love to start our day and again when we lay down to sleep. I want the last thing I see to be you. I want to build a home with you and have your babies." She opened her eyes and everything changed. She loved me. I knew it. "I want you to own more than my thoughts, more than my time and my desires. I want you to own my heart, my body, my everything."
Tears blurred my vision. "Riley. Are you being serious, baby, or just playing the part handed to you?"
She blinked back her tears, glanced over at Clayton and turned back to me, breaking my heart with her answer.
"My name is Eliza for this improv, silly. Of course I'm just playing the part."
Clayton clapped as my world shattered. He'd set me up. To assess whether I loved her. To make the determination with all the facts she had presented to her, including me not drowning her in words of affirmation, and take the necessary action.
Leave me.
"No." I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back against me. "Fuck no!"
"Let me go, Ethan."
"No. I can't."
"Yes. I'm not doing this anymore."
"I fucked up. Listen to me." I ran my hands up her arms and cupped her face. "Everything you've seen has been a lie. I didn't mean to push you away the first night we had dinner at my place. I wanted to respect you and not let you think that I was just going to pull some shit over on you. You mattered. I wanted you to know that. I didn't knock that girl up. I don't even fucking know her." I brushed my thumbs by her cheeks and tried not to lose my lunch over the anxiety wrapping around me. "I didn't have anything going on with Deza. She's just my best friend. My agent."
"Great. Thank you for the update." She pulled back, but I held on tightly.
"Let her go, Ethan." Clayton moved closer.
"I need you to believe in me."
"And I need you to love me." Her face crumpled as she pushed at my chest. "I don't want your fucked up offer. Leave me alone, Ethan Lewis. You’re a bastard."
"My offer?" I turned my back to Clay and pulled her into my arms, wrapping her up as someone released the rain machine above us. "Baby. You offered sex and friendship to me. I never wanted lust from you. I've been alone since I was ten years old. Don't leave me alone again."
She glanced up at me. "Then tell me what you know I need to hear."
I pressed my forehead to hers. "I'm fucking scared to say it. I've never said it to anyone but Liam and D. Never in the way that you want to hear it."
"Then let me go." She moved up and pressed her lips to mine, the kiss more than enough to loosen my tongue. "Take care, Ethan."
"No. Don't go." I choked on a sob. I didn't know how to force it out of my goddamn mouth. It was stuck deep in my chest and I was terrified to let it go. I wouldn't survive being abandoned again. I just wouldn't.
"Why should I stay?" She lifted her chin and looked me in the eye as rain dripped down her beautiful face. She was a goddess
, my saving grace, my woman.
Mine.
"Because I love you." I leaned down and consumed her warmth, not willing to let anyone near us until she understood fully what that meant to me.
It meant forever.
Chapter 84
Ethan
The moment was surreal.
Clayton and Frank standing at the edge of a small make-shift stage, Deza a few feet back, her eyes wide and tears running down her face. It was a moment I could never forget for the rest of my life.
Riley's short strawberry blonde hair was matted to her beautiful face, and her lips were so red. Blood red. Sights and sounds echoed in my skull as my heart raced, my balance getting a little off as I felt so damn dizzy all of a sudden.
She needed to know that I loved her, but what if I were being set up? Clayton played some part in all that was happening, but what part? Was she his puppet?
No. Her eyes told me the truth. Somewhere along the way, she'd fallen in love with me, and not a fan-girl love. Real love. Deep, abiding love that could work to heal my wounds and save me from the destructive path I wanted to race down.
I needed something to numb the pain of being alone. Anything. I blinked a few times, coming back into the scene as she lifted her chin and looked me in the eye. Rain dripped down her beautiful face as she squared her shoulders.
"Why should I stay?" She was a goddess, my saving grace, my woman.
Mine. The only thing I wanted in my life.
"Because I love you." I leaned down and consumed her warmth, not willing to let anyone near us until she understood fully what that meant to me. The moment broke too fast for my liking, but I wasn't in charge.
She was.
"I need time." She took a shaky step back and turned, reaching for the extended arms that reached up to help her down. Clayton Welms.
The asshole I'd almost called brother. He’d wedged a knife between my shoulder blades a few years back, and now he was finishing me off.
I stood in stony silence as realization washed over me. Telling Riley that I loved her wasn't enough to fix anything. Our lives weren't a fucking movie.