Forsaken (Vampire Awakenings, Book 10)

by Brenda K. Davies

  Despite being frozen and so tired she could cry, Aida chuckled.

  “Cassidy,” Julian said as he glanced at Aida. “I think it would be better if you went home with Aida and stayed there.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Aida assured her when Cassidy glanced questioningly at her.

  Cassidy looked at her brothers, then at Aida, and back again as she was torn between leaving her friend and making sure her brothers were okay.

  “We have to go,” Kyle said impatiently.

  Cassidy’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll stay with Aida.”

  “All of this to end up back where we started,” Kyle muttered as he paced a few feet away.

  Julian ignored him as he focused on Aida and his sister. “I’ll walk you back.”

  “We’ll be fine,” Cassidy said.

  “I’m not taking any chances,” Julian told her. “Kyle, stay with the body. I’ll take them back and find a car.”

  “Yes, sir,” Kyle said as he clicked his heels together and gave a mock salute.

  Julian gave him the finger as he clasped Aida’s arm.

  “We’ll be fine,” she said. “Just go get the car.”

  “I’m going to make sure you make it back to the apartment,” he said through gritted teeth.

  “I am here, you know,” Cassidy said.

  “Please stop arguing with me,” Julian grumbled.

  Cassidy stared at the two of them before closing her eyes. When she opened them again, the smile she gave him told him that he wasn’t fooling her; she knew the truth of what Aida was to him.

  “I’ll be back in less than half an hour,” he said to Kyle.

  “I’ll be here,” Kyle said as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

  Aida kept her head bent against the biting wind as she walked beside Julian to the end of the alley. Cassidy led the way down the street and to their apartment building. Aida’s eyes still burned, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the lingering effects of the pepper spray or exhaustion. She wouldn’t be getting any sleep until Julian and Kyle were safely home.

  Cassidy unlocked their door and entered the apartment, but Aida turned to face Julian. She opened her mouth to say a hundred different things but faced with his weary and tormented expression, her words clogged in her throat.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked her.

  She gave him a smile she didn’t feel. “We’ll be fine. Are you going to be okay?”

  “As long as you’re safe, I’m good.”

  Tears burned her eyes, and when he rested his palm against her cheek, she instinctively turned into his touch and kissed his palm. He wrapped his other hand around the back of her head and drew her close to kiss her forehead.

  “Get inside,” he whispered as he kissed her cheek. “We’ll be back soon.”

  Aida leaned closer to him as his warm breath and body melted the iciness inside her soul. “Be careful out there,” she said and turned her mouth toward his.

  She couldn’t think as Julian’s lips found hers and the kiss deepened. She couldn’t breathe as the intensity of his touch robbed the air from her lungs, and she lost herself to him. When she opened her mouth, his tongue slid in to intertwine with hers; the heat spreading through her limbs caused her knees to wobble.

  His hand settling on the small of her back kept her on her feet as he pulled her flush against him. The evidence of his growing erection pressing against her belly turned her insides to goo. Her fingers clenched around the thick muscles of his arms as she clung to him.

  It would be so easy to get lost in her forever, but he couldn’t. Reluctantly, Julian broke the kiss and pulled away from her. She blinked up at him before smiling. Her swollen, bloodshot eyes were still the most beautiful he’d ever seen.

  “I’ll be back soon,” he promised before releasing her and turning away.

  Aida fisted her hands to keep from grabbing him back as he walked to the stairs. He stopped when he saw her still standing in the hall.

  “Get inside, Aida.”

  She hesitated before slipping inside and closing the door behind her. Leaning against the door, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to get her warring emotions under control. She had to keep her heart protected from him, but she was scared it might be too late. It had been too late for that years ago.

  Aida opened her eyes to find Cassidy staring at her from the kitchen. She held a bag of blood and a pair of scissors in her hands. “Are you okay?” Cassidy asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Did that bastard hurt you?”

  Aida’s hands went to her sore throat. “It could have been a lot worse.”

  Cassidy’s face darkened as she snipped the top of her bag. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

  “There are many things in this world that shouldn’t happen.”

  “Too true.”

  “You didn’t have to stay with me,” Aida said.

  “I didn’t want to go with them,” Cassidy replied. “I want to make sure they’re okay, but leaving my friend to haul around a dead body isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. I just hate when they get all manly man and think we can’t, or shouldn’t, do things.”

  “It is assholey of them.”

  Cassidy grinned before drinking some of her blood. Aida had lived around vampires long enough that seeing this didn’t faze her.

  “So… what’s going on with you and my brother?” Cassidy asked when she finished her meal.

  “I don’t know,” Aida admitted. “I’m sure it’s nothing, and he’ll be looking to move on again soon.”

  She tried to sound as if this didn’t bother her at all, but she failed. The sympathy in Cassidy’s eyes set her teeth on edge. She turned her attention to the window across from her.

  “I don’t think it’s nothing to him, and I don’t think he plans on going anywhere again,” Cassidy said.

  “Did you think he planned on going anywhere before?”

  Cassidy hesitated before saying, “No.”

  “Neither did I,” Aida said.

  “And you’re still mad at him for it,” Cassidy said.

  Mad, sad, betrayed, lost, unsure, untrusting, and falling in love all over again. She could have run through a whole list of emotions and uncertainties about Julian, but in the end, she settled for the truth.

  “I don’t know what I am anymore, what he is, or where we stand.”

  “I get it,” Cassidy said, but Aida didn’t understand the troubled look in her eyes.

  Aida ran a hand through her hair before sighing; she was glad someone got it, because she didn’t.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” she muttered before pushing herself away from the door and walking down the hall.

  CHAPTER 25

  Aida lowered her camera to stare at the surrounding buildings while the sun’s rays colored the sky with tinges of pink, yellow, and orange. The crisp night gave way to a warming morning as the city started to come alive again.

  The buildings closest to her were all about the same height as her apartment building, but as they spread further out, they got taller. The sun’s rays reflecting off the glass of those taller buildings created a dazzling effect she itched to capture with her camera, but it wasn’t working out that great. Besides, this was one of those moments she had to see and live for herself.

  She’d been on the roof in the early morning hours many times, but something about almost dying the night before gave her a whole new appreciation for the world and all its spectacular beauty.

  As the morning progressed, she listened to the increasing hum of tires on asphalt, the beep of horns, and the voices of the people on the street below. Standing here and absorbing it all gave her a sense of freedom that made her feel incredibly alive as she struggled to keep her concern over Julian and Kyle constrained.

  She gripped her camera against her chest as she strode across the black roof to lean over the small, two-foot-high wall to the street below. Lifting her
camera, she took a couple of shots of the people strolling the sidewalks and some of the cars as they wove in and out of traffic. Taking pictures was usually a great way to distract herself from her troubles; it wasn’t working today.

  She lowered her camera again as a pack of kids ran down the sidewalk, darted across the road, and entered the diner on the corner. She searched for Julian and Kyle among the pedestrians but didn’t see them.

  Turning away from the sidewalk, she studied the pigeons waddling around the top of the building. Some of them flew off when she approached; the others waddled away faster. When she arrived at the other side of the building, she leaned over to inspect the sidewalk as she searched for Julian and Kyle again.

  Lifting the camera, she snapped a few pictures of a mom pushing a stroller down the street and another of a pigeon that waddled into her view. Lowering the camera again, she was struck by the whim to rest her fingers against the pigeon’s feathers.

  Slowly, she stretched her fingers forward and was about to touch it when the plump bird spread its wings and flew away. Her hand hovered in the air before she lowered it. She didn’t know why, but the bird’s flight made her feel more alone than she had in years.

  Where were Julian and Kyle? They should be back. Had Julian been able to get a car? Or had it taken longer than he anticipated and they hadn’t been able to move the body? Her hand went to her cell phone, but she’d deleted Julian’s number last year.

  At the time, she’d been scrolling through her contacts in search of her doctor’s office and came across Julian’s name. The shock and sorrow seeing his name caused almost made her throw her phone across the table, and then she was hit by the ridiculous inclination to text him.

  Before she could do anything that stupid again, she hit delete instead. She’d tried to contact him, and he’d never responded; she knew how to take a hint, so there was no reason to have his name in her phone.

  She could go back into the apartment to ask Cassidy if she’d heard anything, but the idea of being inside made her skin crawl. Like when she first escaped the island, she couldn’t tolerate walls around her right now.

  Aida paced over to the other side of the building and looked across the roof of the building adjoining hers before turning away. She played with the strap of her camera as she walked over to the fourth wall.

  A man stood on the top of the building next to hers. He tossed handfuls of grain to the pigeons flocking around him. When he spotted her, he waved before returning his attention to the birds.

  Aida took a couple of pictures of him before heading back to the first wall and peering over again. More people were on the street as the early morning hours gave way to midmorning and they emerged to enjoy the weekend and the burgeoning spring. A woman with messed-up hair and carrying a high-heeled shoe was doing the walk of shame as she passed the diner and turned onto Aida’s street.

  She still saw no sign of Julian, but maybe he’d come back while she was on the other side of the building. Lifting her camera, Aida took a few pictures of another group of kids running in and out of the crowd. They turned the corner and vanished around the buildings.

  She fiddled with her camera strap and turned to pace back to the other side of the building when the door to the roof opened. She held her breath as her hand fell to the fresh can of pepper spray in her pocket and her heart thudded with excitement over the possibility it could be Julian.

  When Julian stepped out of the doorway, her shoulders sagged as he searched the roof before turning toward her. She gripped her camera like it was a talisman that could protect her from her growing feelings for him.

  No, that wasn’t right. They weren’t growing; they’d always been there, but having him so close brought them all back. All those years ago, when they spent every day together walking the woods, fishing, sitting on the beach, swimming, and talking for endless hours, she’d fallen in love with him.

  At the time, she was so damaged she couldn’t acknowledge her feelings until he kissed her, but his kiss changed everything. Before that kiss, Julian was the boy, constant companion, and the best friend she leaned on. After, he was the man she wanted to share her life with.

  Before the island, she flitted from one boyfriend to the other. She never stayed long enough to get close to them, and she was fine with it. Some would chalk her short and casual relationships up to daddy issues, and maybe that’s what it was, but boys were more of a way to pass the time than anything to take seriously.

  But then Julian worked his way into her heart without trying, and when she realized she was in love with him, he left her. If he’d stayed in touch, she wouldn’t have been as wounded by his leaving, but he crushed her when he shut her out.

  And now she had to decide if she could trust him again or if it was time to end whatever this was between them.

  Relief filled Julian when he spotted her on the roof. He wasn’t thrilled Cassidy let her wander off alone, but she couldn’t be caged. Releasing the door, he smiled as he walked toward her.

  “Did Cassidy tell you I was here?” she asked.

  “Yes. How are you doing?”

  Aida’s golden-brown eyes drifted away when a pigeon landed beside him. She watched the bird as it waddled around while pecking at the roof.

  “I’m good,” she said.

  When she looked at him again, confusion swirled in her eyes as she held the camera before her like she could use it to ward him off.

  “How are you doing?” she asked.

  “I wasn’t the one who was attacked.”

  She cast her voice lower as she stepped closer to him. “No, but you are the one who killed a man.”

  “I killed a vampire, and I won’t hesitate to do it again.”

  “But what did it do to you? I know what you crave most; will you be able to keep your urge to kill under control?”

  Julian ran a hand through his hair and tugged at the ends as he contemplated her question. The more he killed, the more he wanted to do it, but he couldn’t reveal that.

  “I’ve killed vampires before,” he reminded her. “I can control it.”

  Aida wasn’t so sure she believed him, but he wasn’t going to tell her more than that. “Did you get rid of the body?”

  “Yeah, I borrowed a van from some guy I ran into on the street. He’ll never remember what happened, and I left him with a full tank of gas and a hundred dollars richer. We drove the body into New Hampshire and burned it before burying the remains in the woods.”

  Aida grimaced at the gruesome picture he painted. “At least it’s taken care of; you must be exhausted.”

  “I am,” he admitted. “Did you sleep at all?”

  “No.”

  He’d already known the answer as the circles under her eyes were darker. She’d changed into jeans and a turtleneck so he couldn’t see the marks on her neck, but her voice was still hoarse.

  “You need to sleep,” he said.

  “I know,” she said with a rueful smile. “I wanted to make sure you were both okay first.”

  “Come on,” he said and cupped her elbow.

  A small thrill of excitement ran through her, and she stepped closer to him. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “For what?” he asked.

  “For saving my life. I don’t want to know what he planned to do with me.”

  Julian tried not to think about it, but he knew what that asshole would have done to her. His fangs lengthened as he resisted his murderous impulses. He just told her he could control himself; he couldn’t lose it now.

  “Why did you come looking for me last night?” she asked.

  He couldn’t tell her he’d sensed her terror; she’d been around enough mated vampires that she might guess why. “You were gone for a while, and I started to worry.”

  When he draped his arm around her shoulder, she didn’t shrug him off or try to duck out from under him. Instead, she allowed herself to lean against him as she took solace in his warmth and strength. Allowing herself to fal
l further in love with this man was probably a horrible idea, but she was too exhausted to fight her heart.

  She wanted to fall onto her bed, curl up in his arms, and sleep until tomorrow. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. Nicolette would bang down her door if she wasn’t at the gallery tonight, and if she let Julian into her bed, she might open a can of worms she could never close again.

  Julian led her downstairs and to her apartment. He opened the door to reveal Kyle sprawled across the couch. He hadn’t bothered to pull it out but crashed on top of it. Cassidy must have retreated to her bedroom after Kyle and Julian returned.

  “Are you going back to your hotel?” Aida asked and held her breath while she waited for his answer.

  “No, I’ll sleep on the floor so I can make sure you’re safe.”

  “There are two other vampires here, and no vampire can enter unless invited,” she reminded him. “The floor will be uncomfortable.”

  “I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Aida wanted to argue with him, but she didn’t have it in her right now. She also didn’t have it in her to leave him sleeping on the floor after last night.

  “You can sleep in my room,” she offered.

  The pop of a can opening sounded in her head, but he’d killed for her, and she ached to feel his arm around her. Instinctively, she knew he would chase away the nightmares sure to come today.

  Julian studied her as he debated his reply. He should say no; she was vulnerable and exhausted, but the word stuck in his throat. He could clearly recall what it was like to sleep beside her, and he wanted to experience it again.

  Before he left, there were more than a few times when she would fall asleep on the beach or in the woods after fleeing her house. He would lay beside her and inhale her sweet scent of peaches while she dreamed.

  She was so soft and trusting as she lay nestled in his arms while he fantasized about kissing her, but he didn’t dare touch her in such a way. She’d been through enough, she needed to feel safe, and he would give that to her.

  Sometimes he would sleep too, but most of the time, he took comfort in watching her. Her breaths would tickle his face while her eyes fluttered behind her closed lids. Sometimes she would cry out, but she usually didn’t have nightmares with him at her side. Those days were some of the best of his life, and he enjoyed every wondrous second with her.