by Kim Smart
Smoke rolled in from the wildfire consuming vast areas in difficult terrain. On windy days, the smoke blew into town and stirred up the community. They had no understanding of fire science but were quick to criticize the professional fire management team. There was a lot of talk wherever they stopped while running errands. They did their best to relay accurate information they heard while meeting with the fire management headquarters.
“Fear. Now that’s something to write about. It takes our brain cells and common sense and turns them into mush.” Jesse was keen to observe human emotion and reflect it in his writing. He turned it on himself too and explored his own fears. The theme of not being good enough, so prevalent in his past, seemed to be less prominent now. Maybe, he thought, he was growing up.
In the time since he and Kerry were no longer together, he had taken a few women out. He had no intention of getting serious, so when he found they were texting or calling frequently he broke it off, explaining that it was him, not them, and he just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. He also never was comfortable with anyone the way he was with Kerry, and he wasn’t sure that would ever change.
The Cowboy Poet’s round-up venue was the local community college. The parking lot was filled with dusty pickup trucks, some pulling trailers. Ladies in denim skirts and men in cowboy hats filed into the auditorium, greeting friends and neighbors as they passed. Stella stood out in the crowd with her thick, raven black hair hanging loose, tight jeans tucked in her dressy boots, and a broad smile. It seemed everyone knew his sister.
“Hey Stella, need any help to get those cows out of the danger zone?” Cowboy after cowboy offered to help her save the cattle. And they weren’t just the single men; these cowboys were all ages, sizes and marital status. They were a cowboy community and Stella was a respected member.
“Thanks Harv. My brother Jess here and I are doing okay.”
Stella introduced Jess to the locals. He shook hands with the men and boys and tipped his hat to the women and girls. This culture, the cowboy culture, clung fast to such traditions and Jess felt good being part of it. The genteel culture suited him. His peers rarely showed the same respect for one another and their elders. And so the evening went on with Jesse meeting Stella’s friends and neighbors, swapping stories of fires past and hopes of rain.
The ranch that Stella worked for was a sponsor of the gathering. Stella had the honor of saying a few words on behalf of the ranch as part of the evening’s welcome and introductions. She garnered rousing applause.
The first presenter was an old-time singer and songwriter by the name of Howie LaDuke. Mr. LaDuke had homesteaded in the area some fifty years prior. He took up the guitar to keep himself occupied on the trail in his early days. His songs were about life on the trail and dreams of pretty girls back home. He started his performance by apologizing to his wife of forty years. The other women he was singing about meant nothing. The crowd laughed. He shared gratitude for having his wife by his side as they overcame drought, floods, and a child’s death. Now they celebrate a large family and happy cows. Jesse got a kick out of his lyrics. He sang lines like, Oh pretty Sadie back in the city, you’ll thank me for leaving you there where the spiders and bats stay out of your hair. Mr. LaDuke was well respected by the crowd, not so much for his talent as for his long-standing contribution to the cowboy lifestyle. Some liked the music. All laughed.
Poets of all ages shared their favorites or tested new works out on the audience. Jesse did not know this was an industry. Artists stood behind tables lining the lobby. They sold CDs, books, and postcards. Media artists had prints for sale and sculptors displayed their work, which were for sale but not within the price range of most.
Jesse found himself drawn to a book of poetry with a brilliantly colored cover. The artist filled the page with vibrant hues like those seen in the dramatic Arizona sky, more colorful than usual with the fire providing a magnificent backdrop. Jesse chatted with the author about the book as he bought a copy. He hadn’t read any strictly cowboy poetry and looked forward to studying the style. Jesse stood across the table from the author with one long blue-jean covered leg cocked slightly to the side so he could lower his tall lanky body. He listened intently to the things that inspired the artist and then commented on the beautiful cover. The poet grinned and nodded toward a young woman standing behind a table across the lobby.
“That’s my niece, Kendra. She’s the artist. Kendra would love to hear you rave about her cover. She’s new at this and none too sure she’s on the right track, like we all are.” The cowboy poet had a lot of years in the saddle and his poetry filled a book so he must have invested a lot of seasons at that craft.
“Thank you, sir. I hope to see you again at one of these events.” Jesse walked over to Kendra’s booth. A blond beauty, she looked like Miss Teen Rodeo or something with her bright white teeth, striking green eyes and nice-fitting jeans. Jesse complimented her on her cover art and looked over some of her other pieces. They chatted a short while about colors and images and the areas depicted in her paintings. Jesse shifted from side-to-side and found himself a little nervous, running out of things to say.
“Hey Kendra. How ya doin’?” Stella didn’t wait for a response. “I just remembered I owe you a coffee. What cha doin’ tomorrow? My brother Jess and I would like to buy you a cup.” Stella set the date up for the three of them the following day, just like that. No hemming and hawing.
Walking out of the lobby, Stella explained that Kendra was doing some marketing work for the ranch. She thought Kendra was a very talented artist who just needed a break. After seeing her work, it wasn’t hard for Stella to convince her bosses to provide Kendra the opportunity to work on a big project.
As they drove back to the ranch that night, Stella probed Jesse about his love life and what happened to his girl, Kerry.
“She’s headed for big things and I didn’t want to get in her way.” Jesse didn’t enjoy talking about the break-up. He wasn’t at his best when he left her those many months ago, and they hadn’t been in touch since. Friends let him know that she planned to be in Buffalo Ridge for Christmas in two months, but he just wasn’t ready to see her. He would spend Christmas in Arizona.
Jesse and Stella met Kendra at the Pony Espresso Coffee Shop in town the following morning. Stella shared some photos she had taken of the ranch and cattle and a few someone else had taken of her. She looked right at home in the photos with a flannel plaid shirt, jeans and chaps. The photographer captured her beautiful face. Especially in the photos where she sat atop her horse, she looked like the boss lady of the canyon. Her boots showed years of heavy wear and her bandana was soft from many washings. She was the real deal.
Kendra explained the website design with its banners and videos, all of which was beyond Stella’s level of expertise. Despite the busyness of the small coffee shop and the rising tide of voices, Stella listened while Kendra explained the various elements of marketing. The surrounding activity distracted Jesse, but he tried to stay engaged in the conversation.
“I trust you to take care of all this Kendra. I’ve seen your work, and it’s fantastic.” Kendra thanked Stella for her kind words as she jotted down some notes. “I just remembered, there are a couple more photos I meant to bring. I’ll have Jess bring them in tonight. Are you available to meet him at the Rodeo Lounge about 8 tonight?”
“Smooth, Stella,” Jesse thought. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being set up by his big sister. He looked at Stella sideways through narrow slits but before Kendra could see he smiled and looked down at his coffee.
“Yes, I’m free tonight. I’ll be there.” Kendra had planned to stay home and work on some graphics but would accommodate Stella. Showing Stella she could do a good job was important. Besides, the brother was a good-looking cowboy. Not her usual type. Tall, dark, bad-boy cowboys were like chocolate to Kendra. She looked forward to spending time with someone outside that mold. Jesse’s wasn’t her usual eye candy, but he looked good i
n his jeans.
“What the heck, Stel. Why are you pawning me off on that little doe? You don’t think she’s got dates lined up on a Saturday night? What were you thinking?” Jess was only half-mad at his sister for throwing his hat into the ring. He knew he would not ask her out on his own. Being an introvert, he enjoyed spending time with himself. But since Stella lined up this date, he would be there.
“Nah, she’s broke up with her no-good boyfriend. Besides, what difference does it make to you? You’ve got no love life.” Stella needed to tease him a little. He blushed so easily with that fair complexion of his.
“Me? What about you, old little spinster on the prairie? You’re married to those cows and canyons, aren’t you?” Jess tried to pull some intel from his sister. He didn’t know if she was seeing anyone. He hoped, for her sake, there was someone she could snuggle up to when she was ready to let her hair down.
“Now son, that’s just really none of your business, is it? As a matter of fact, I do have a date tonight. With the business accountant.” Stella changed from her t-shirt into a dressy western shirt and traded her sneakers for boots. Tonight was all about business. She knew the accountant needed to discuss some speculations with her, especially if they had to change herd size or lost the federal lease agreement.
“Oh great, a working dinner. Hope that goes well for you.” Jesse, too, was changing. He traded one t-shirt for another. Kendra would expect him to change from what he was wearing when they met up earlier in the day. It’s just a thing some girls have.
They ran some errands in town, returning to the ranch in time for Stella to clean up and head to her meeting. Jesse quickly swept out his truck. There were all kinds of crumbs from his road trip and a pile of empty coffee cups. By 7:00 he was ready to head back to town, with enough time to find the Rodeo Lounge.
When Jesse realized that Stella had not given him the pictures for Kendra, he sent off a text. Hey, where r the pics 4 Kendra? Stella didn’t respond. He tried calling and her phone went to voicemail. He rummaged around a little on her desk, to see if maybe she had left them there, but no such luck. He didn’t have Kendra’s number to cancel, so he drove to town and found the Rodeo Lounge. He took a bar stool and ordered up a beer.
Kendra looked hot - the kind of hot girl that could get a guy in trouble. Her red and white checkered western-cut shirt was tied at the waist and unbuttoned nearly to her navel ring. A red bra with rhinestone sparkles peeked out, as if to deliver a dare. Jesse tried to keep it to business. He greeted her with an apology as she sidled up next to him at the bar. “You’re not going to believe this, but Stella left me high and dry. She didn’t give me anything to bring.”
“Want a beer Ken?” The bartender slid a glass of beer across the bar. Clearly she was a regular here. This bar was just another hometown watering hole. There were no quirky characteristics, just a collection of booths and tables and whitewashed shiplap walls.
“I don’t think there are any. She gave me everything I need.” Kendra smiled up at Jesse and held her glass out to toast. “Here’s to an awkward set-up.”
Jesse smiled and shook his head. Stella would get a piece of his mind later, but since he had this beauty in front of him, he should practice his social skills. He invited Kendra to move to a quiet booth in the back of the room.
“Hey Kendra!” a table of cowboys, who seemed to have gotten a head start on the drinking, called out as they passed by. Kendra seemed to like the attention. She snapped her head and flipped her golden waves. Her shoulders inched back as she stood tall.
“Hey boys. Justin, does your wife know you’re here?” She had already passed but threw the volley over her shoulder. Small towns. There are no secrets. Although it wasn’t as small as Buffalo Ridge, Pascal had a small-town feel, at least from what he had seen so far. Jesse liked that. It was comfortable.
Jesse motioned for Kendra to take the inside of the cafe-style booth. She motioned back for him to take the inside. The red faux-leather seats were well worn. Clear tape attempted to mend the rips. He slid in, expecting Kendra to take the bench across from him. His breath caught, his diaphragm froze briefly and his muscles tensed when she slid beside him. Jesse hadn’t been this close to a girl, other than his sister, for months. He felt a thrill with the occasional not-so-accidental collision of blue-jean-clad thighs as they chatted.
Kendra was a lifelong Pascalian and came from a ranching family. Her parents divorced when she was young. She lived in town with her mom but preferred to be at the ranch, even if only her stepmother was there while her father was away. These days she was working hard at developing her graphic art and marketing business. She had taken some classes but was not interested in earning a degree. They had that in common.
“Way I see it, there are lots of folks that never go to school and make a damn good living. I’m ready to start living and move out on my own. The sooner I can do that, the sooner I can do the things I want to do, like travel. Eventually I want my own place in the country but my folks would rather see me married and raising kids. Not interested. At least not now.” Another thing they had in common. They both wanted real-world experience before settling down. Maybe Stella knew what she was doing with this setup.
As they finished their second beer, Jesse looked around the joint and nodded to the door. He was ready to go home. Jesse asked Kendra if she was ready to go and if she wanted a ride, half-hoping that she would invite him over or suggest they do something else. He wasn’t familiar with the area to know all the hangouts, but he was done with the Rodeo for the night. After just a few beers, cowboys could get unnecessarily lewd and strong. Also, he didn’t want drive home after a third beer. Jesse wasn’t a big drinker and could easily become disoriented in this unfamiliar place.
“Hey, my girl Sammi is over there. I’m going to hang here for a bit. Thanks though.” She scooted closer to Jesse and threw her arm around his shoulder, pivoted square with his shoulders. She looked into his eyes and brought her nose close to his, begging him to put his face in hers. “Can I see you again?”
Jesse enjoyed his time getting to know Kendra but knew he had barely scratched her surface. They agreed to connect when he was back in from his next trail ride.
Kendra snatched Jesse’s cell phone from his shirt pocket and snapped a picture of the two of them. She sent the photo to herself and created a new contact for her in his phone. “Here. Now you have no excuse. I expect to hear from you.”
With a smile, she teasingly held the phone out for Jesse to grab. When he did, she rested her hand in his palm, interlacing fingers. There she paused for just a moment. For Jesse, the moment came with a certain thrill and he squirmed uncomfortably. Kendra hopped out of the booth to join her friends. Her hips and curls swayed in opposing directions as she moved away from him.
Jesse returned to Stella’s dark home. Stella’s dinner meeting must have run late. It was hard for him to settle. He was amped up from the little show Kendra put on. It was nice being close to a beautiful woman, if not a little unsettling. Jesse felt the urge to put some thoughts down on paper. He pulled the journal from his backpack and penned some reflections from his first days in Arizona. He wrote about the cattle roundup. It was unlike any he had ever taken part in. He wrote of his sister’s cowboy extraordinaire persona, the poetry gathering, and Kendra, or more so his residual sensory overload from being around Kendra. Thoughts of Kerry came to him and he kept writing. He wrote about their courtship and their parting, laying out feelings he had never identified or shared before.
At his core, he was still very connected to her but his mind told him to leave her behind. He was on a new path now.
Chapter 9
Kerry was excited to be at the ranch for Christmas. It had been a year since she was there and her soul longed to be on that familiar ground. School was going exceedingly well. She was happy to be working just one job now at the lab, with her heavy course load. She and Gracie took in another roommate to help pay the rent. Things were going well. Sh
e had even gone out on a few dates.
“Kerry, honey, it’s so great to see you!” Her dad took her in his arms. She folded into his broad chest and relaxation swept over her. Someday she hoped to have a man in her life who she could love as much as her father. Someone familiar, kind, understanding, and caring. Someone who would be to her children everything her own father had been to her: encouraging, supportive, a teacher.
Her mother prepared her favorite meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy with fresh baking powder biscuits. She listed for Kerry all the festivities happening around Buffalo Ridge in the week leading up to Christmas.
“The Buffalo Ridge Ranch has sleigh rides and there will be hot chocolate and music in the barn afterwards.” Susan finished the list with news of this event. It had always been one of Kerry’s all-time favorite things to do in Buffalo Ridge at Christmas when she lived there. But that was a different time. Kerry had moved on, or so her mother hoped. Kerry didn’t talk much about dating but Susan thought maybe she just wanted to be low key. Certainly a young woman as beautiful and competent as Kerry would be sought after. Sure, Kerry wasn’t a party girl, but still, she needed a night out sometimes.
“I should stop over and see Jesse. He’ll be driving the hay wagon again I guess.” Kerry had a nostalgic look about her as she mentioned Jesse by name.
“Oh, haven’t you heard? Jesse is in Arizona with his sister Stella for the winter. He’s helping her on a ranch that she works on.” It surprised Susan that this piece of gossip hadn’t gotten to Kerry. She realized that the chasm between Jesse and Kerry was much larger than she thought which brought a certain sadness.