The 'Ohana Tree

by Rebecca Addison

She put another forkful of pasta into her mouth, chewing it slowly and swallowing before answering. "I was a nightmare."

  "I can't imagine that."

  Her eyes widened. "You can't?"

  "Well, maybe a little bit."

  She smiled. "I was sad a lot of the time, and lonely. I was a handful, even with the foster parents who actually tried with me. I kept getting into fights with the girls at school then I'd be suspended, or expelled, and when people tried to discipline me, I took off."

  "Where did you go?"

  "If I had money I'd get on a bus somewhere. Usually, the one that was going the furthest away from where I was."

  "And if you didn't have money?"

  She pushed her food around with her fork. "I don't want to talk about that."

  "I was a good boy," I said lightly, trying to shift the focus away from her.

  She met my eyes with a small, tender smile. "Of course you were."

  "Sometimes I feel like I've been a grown up my whole life. I had no time to get into trouble as a kid. We were always working."

  She regarded me carefully and took a sip of her wine. "Maybe that's a good thing."

  "I guess. Although it didn't feel that good when my friends were going on surfing trips or away to college and I had to stay behind."

  "We're different, aren't we?" she said, resting her hands in front of her on the table.

  "No, Tess," I said, finishing my wine. "We're very much the same."

  After dinner she sat me down on the sofa, disappearing back into the kitchen in her towel. When she came out a minute later, she was carrying two small pies, one in each hand. She sauntered over, pursing her lips and exaggerating the sway of her hips as she walked.

  "You are such a dork," I laughed and she winked, lifting one foot as she peeked over her shoulder.

  When she reached me, she put the pies on the coffee table and plopped down next to me, resting her bare toes on the edge of the table. "Lemon meringue. Hope that's okay."

  "You're kind of incredible, you know that?" I said. The pies were perfect, identical in every way.

  "I was lucky the market had pie dishes," she said. "I'm not hungry, though."

  Our eyes met in total understanding. "Me, neither."

  "Save them for later?" she whispered, looking down at my mouth.

  I stood up and walked toward the hallway. "Get dressed."

  "What?" she said, "why would I do that?"

  I moved my eyes to her and the laughter disappeared from her face. "Because, Tess, I want to undress you."

  "Oh."

  I left her there, waiting for me, and then I made my way to the bedroom.

  "Is this okay?" I said as she walked into the room a few minutes later. She stopped in the doorway, her eyes traveling over the candles on the windowsills and the flowers on the table, before coming to rest on the bed.

  "You didn't have to do all of this," she said, pulling her hair out of its top knot and lifting her fingers to the top button of her dress. "I think you already know this is a sure thing."

  "Hey," I said, closing the gap between us and pressing my hand to hers to stop her from undoing her dress. "Don't do that. Let me be nice to you."

  "I'm sorry." She glanced away. "I guess I'm not used to this kind of thing."

  "What kind of thing?" I lowered her hand to her side and unhooked the first button of her dress.

  "Candles, romance, any of it. You."

  "Are you still nervous?"

  I undid three more buttons, spreading the fabric apart and running my fingertip along her collarbone. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "No."

  "Yes, you are. Try to relax."

  I unfastened the last of the buttons as her chest rose and fell against my hands and then I slipped the fabric off her shoulders one by one. Her dress hung off her hips, open to the waist, and her hair draped over each shoulder, covering her naked breasts. Her hands came down to her hips and she pulled the fabric the rest of the way until it puddled at her feet.

  "Open your eyes, Tess," I said, and she did, hiding nothing.

  I pulled my t-shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor and then picked up her wrist, kissing the soft skin on the inside of it the way I had in the truck. "Where's your bra? I've been imagining taking it off for two weeks and you're not even wearing one."

  She pressed her other palm to my chest. "I'll make it up to you later."

  "You'd better."

  I ran my lips up the inside of her arm to her elbow, then further up until I reached her shoulder. I moved her hair aside and cupped her breast, small and perfect, and she leaned into my hand.

  "Tell me what you want, okay? Don't hold yourself back."

  She put her hand behind my head and pulled my mouth to hers. "I want you. I've wanted you since the first time I saw you."

  I put my hands on her face, kissing her harder as I walked us back to the bed. She climbed over the sheet and lay back against the pillows and I took off the rest of my clothes while I watched her. She was small but soft, even in the places where she was bony - her shoulders, hips, and knees - there were still no sharp edges to her.

  I made my way to her and she lifted herself up, hooking her thumbs under the elastic of her underwear as I kissed her neck. "Wait," I said, pulling back. "There's no rush."

  She ran her hand over my shoulder and down my arm. "Okay."

  "Relax."

  "I'm trying to."

  "It's just me."

  "That's the problem."

  Before I had a chance to ask what that meant she put her hands behind my head and pulled me down to her, kissing me hard.

  I had spent the last fourteen days thinking about that moment, more if you counted the fleeting thoughts I'd tried to ignore since the first day I'd met her. In the back of my mind, I knew that we only had a limited supply of nights together. I didn't want to waste a single one. But Tess had other ideas. She was anxious and jumpy, kissing me frantically and reaching for the box of condoms I had on the nightstand before I had a chance to think. It wasn't that she needed me, and that was the problem. Hell, I wanted her badly, and if I was honest with myself, it was taking a Herculean effort on my part to slow things down. I wasn't getting that from her. I couldn't work out what was missing, but I knew I didn't like it.

  "Hey," I said, resting my weight on my elbows on either side of her face. "Are you okay?"

  She dropped her chin, looking down the bed. "Are you okay?"

  I smiled in spite of myself and rolled off her. "Yes, I'm good. Thanks for your concern."

  "Then what's the problem?"

  I lay back and put my hands behind my head as I looked through the glass to the sky. She sat up and glanced down at me. "You have done this before, haven't you?"

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her down next to me. "A few times."

  "Do you want to just forget it for tonight?"

  I leaned over to kiss her. "Not a chance."

  "Thank God."

  My hand touched her shoulder and I pushed her back into the pillows, rising up onto my elbow. She ran her fingertips over my ribs, down to my hip then over the outer edge of my thigh.

  "Did these hurt?"

  My tattoos began at my waist and curved over my hip bone, spreading down my thigh to my knee and around, covering me from knee to backside. "A lot."

  "How old were you when you got them done?" Her hand moved, her touch feather-light over my skin.

  "I started when I was eighteen. They took two years all up."

  "What do they mean?"

  "They're uhi. They were done in the traditional way. The same way they've been done for hundreds of years. They connect me to my ancestors and remind me of who I am."

  As if I ever forgot, I added silently, pushing the thought away.

  "They're beautiful."

  "Thank you."

  I dipped my head and pushed her hair aside, kissing the small tattoo behind her ear. As I leaned over her, her breasts brushed my chest and I pressed myse
lf down, trying to get more of our skin to connect. "Stay with me," I said against her skin. "Wherever you went before, don't go there again."

  I trailed my fingertips over her breast, down her stomach, around the arch of her hip. "Keep your eyes on me."

  She opened them and looked down the bed to where my hand rested on her thigh. I moved downwards, crawling over her and slipped her nipple into my mouth as my hand gently pushed her legs apart.

  "Are you still with me?" I said, moving up and kissing the hollow of her throat as my fingers touched her for the first time. She tilted her head back, giving me more of her skin and gasped.

  "Yes," she said, resting her hands on my head, "I'm with you."

  I touched her slowly, learning all the parts of her, the way she felt, what she liked, loving being with her like that at last. Once I knew she was ready, I moved up the bed and rested my head against her ribs as she ran a hand over my head. Her heart was fast and loud against my ear and I heard the air rushing in and out of her lungs. I ran my hand up the inside of her leg again, where her skin was the softest, silken and impossibly smooth and she trembled against my fingertips.

  "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," I said, tilting my head so that my lips pressed against the hard bone under her left breast, right against her heart. She was so small that I felt it pulsing, an echo against my skin, and I spoke to it, knowing it was answering me with its beat.

  "You don't have to be strong all the time," I murmured to it, and Tessa's hand stilled on my head. "I can take care of you." Her heart gave a kick against my lips and I sucked her skin into my mouth.

  She put her hands on my shoulders, pulling me up, so I kissed her heart one last time before crawling up the bed until I was over her. Her eyes were bright, searching my face.

  "You wanted to have sex before," I whispered into her mouth, finally understanding what had been missing. "But I'm going to make love to you. Has anyone ever made love to you before, Tess?"

  Her lips grazed mine as she quickly shook her head.

  "Kai," she said. But I didn't give her time to tell me that she was leaving soon or that we should be careful and not to get too serious. I slipped an arm under her waist, lifting her hips and slid into her in one quick movement. Her eyes flew to mine as her mouth opened and I leaned down, pressing my body against her body and my mouth against her ear.

  "I love the way you play your music,' I said, as I moved back, then forward again. "I love that you treat my brother like he's a real, three-dimensional man instead of a stereotype." Her legs came up, wrapping around my waist and she pushed against me trying to speed it up. But I kept it slow, wanting her to hear me, wanting her to feel that I was loving her, that I wasn't just using her.

  "I love that you've lived your life on your own terms," I groaned, my mouth still pressed to her ear. Her skin was hot against my lips, her hair soft and damp where it touched my cheek. I pulled her earlobe into my mouth and lifted her hips a little higher, tilting them back as I moved over her. She wound her hand around the back of my neck, gripping hard, and I felt her tip her head back, her mouth opening but no sound coming out. "You're brave, Tessa. Beautiful. And you feel so, damn, good."

  And then because I knew I couldn't wait much longer I lifted my face from her ear and stared into her eyes. "This is making love," I said, moving against her so slowly, so tenderly, feeling every inch of where we were joined. "Can you feel that?"

  She bit her lip, nodding, and shut her eyes tight.

  "Open your eyes."

  She hesitated, but when her eyelids fluttered open, I knew that she was with me. I lowered my forehead to hers and cupped the back of her head with my hand. My other arm went under her, pulling her up, and locking our hips together. Her air blew hot and sharp against my mouth. I moved faster then, finally allowing myself to get lost in her. She tried to move but I held her fast, our foreheads, chests, and hips touching, everything touching, and she dug her fingertips into the back of my neck.

  "That's it, honey," I said, feeling her belly contract and her skin tremble against my mine. And then we were lost but anchored to one another, rocking together in a stormy sea. I felt the slow burn of muscles tightening, my heart swelling, straining against my ribs and then the final wave, pleasure tinged with pain.

  I waited, one breath, three, and then my surroundings came into focus again. I slid my arm out from under her back and her legs dropped lazily from my waist. My hand released her hair at the back of her head and my lips dipped down to her mouth, kissing her slowly, softly, knowing she was still making her way back to me. When her hands released my neck, I moved off her and pulled her to my chest, resting my chin on the top of her head. Her breaths, still hot and fast, blew against my throat.

  "I want to love you like that every day," I whispered as my heart slowed back to a normal rhythm. "It was never about sex for me."

  She swallowed and when she spoke, her voice was rough and gravelly, like she'd awoken from a long, feverish sleep. "Kai," she said, pressing her lips to my skin. "Before now I never knew the difference."

  Chapter Twenty Two

  "If you could live anywhere and do anything, what would it be?" she asked, passing me the plate. It was early - from the light I guessed it was just dawn, but we were wide awake, chattering like excited children on Christmas morning as we sat opposite each other on the bed.

  I took a forkful of lemon meringue pie and popped it into my mouth, the sweetness dissolving on my tongue. "I don't think about stuff like that."

  "Come on," she said, nudging me with her foot. "This is my favorite game. Just play along."

  "I don't know." I yawned loudly and passed the plate back. "What's the point of it?"

  "What do you mean? It's a game. It's for fun."

  I leaned over and put my arms around her waist, pulling her down so I fit the curve of her back. Some time in the night she had pulled on one of my shirts. The buttons were undone at the front and a hint of the small black underwear she was wearing showed where it had ridden up at her hip. I put my finger under the elastic and pulled it back, letting it go with a snap. She slid back, wriggling her backside suggestively in my lap.

  "I think that's a different kind of game you're playing there," I said, kissing around the curve of her ear. "But to answer your question, I would go to New York because I've always wanted to visit a big city with tall buildings and lots of noise. I would spend all day with you, making love, making music, making love again."

  "I like that dream," she said, threading her fingers through mine and bringing our hands to her chest. "Would we eat, too?"

  "We'd eat pizza and hot dogs and be fat and happy."

  "I love New York," she said. "I was there for a while before I came here."

  "Were you? That's perfect. You can be my tour guide." I slid my hand under the shirt and cupped her breast, my thumb rubbing over her nipple. "And what about you? Where would you live, and what would you do?"

  "Ah," she said, squirming slightly, "I'd have to think about that. I change my mind every day."

  I bent my head and kissed the side of her neck as I moved my hand slowly down to her stomach. "What about today?"

  "Today," she said, "I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be."

  I moved my hand lower, grazing her thigh. "Or anything else you'd rather be doing?"

  She rolled onto her back, shaking her head against the pillow. "I'm fine right here, thanks."

  "Well, what do you know?" I said, crouching over her and opening the sides of her shirt to kiss her belly button. "For once you're not dreaming about being somewhere else. Do you think we can make time stand still?"

  She put her hands on my head and arched her hips. "I think we can make these two days last forever."

  I moved lower, resting my cheek on her, and gently rubbed the stubble against the sensitive skin of her thigh. I liked hearing her talk about the future, even if I knew she was only speaking in riddles again. Forever meant waking up with her every mor
ning and holding her every night. I pretended that she meant that too as I hooked my fingers into her underwear and dragged them down her legs.

  "I can hear you thinking," she said, propping herself up on her elbows. "Stop. Let's not think at all."

  I dipped my head, kissing her, and she lay back on the pillows with a moan.

  And then there were no thoughts, just sensations; her skin warm, smooth, slick, wet, the room, yellow and white with morning light. The taste of lemon and sugar lingering on my tongue, blending with the taste of her. The knowledge that I would never eat lemon meringue pie again without thinking of that moment. Liking that. The thick, heady fog of desire enveloping me, erasing everything except the way she felt, the sounds she made, my desperate need for her. And then the way I pulled her onto my lap roughly, making her suck in her breath. Her legs moving around my waist and a flush of pink spreading down her neck, across her breasts. The way we rocked together, our hands on each other's faces, my eyes locked with her eyes, and her tremors felt against my skin. And how when she collapsed against my neck, at last, her face and my face slick with sweat, I wondered if her thoughts had returned as mine had and whether we were thinking the same thing.

  "Don't get mad," she said, trailing her finger down my arm. We were lying on our sides facing each other in that dreamlike state that comes after lovemaking, eyes half closed and noses almost touching.

  "I don't get mad."

  She smiled. "I've noticed that."

  "What is it?"

  "I know that we've talked about this before, but I can't help thinking that there must be something -"

  "Are you talking about the record deal again?"

  She ran her hand down my side, coming to a stop at my hip. "Kai. You deserve to be happy. You're so talented. It's a waste not to do anything with it."

  "Is it?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't that what Garrett's been saying to you?" She met my eye but didn't say anything. "Can I ask you something, Tess? If you don't want to play anymore, why do you carry that violin around the world with you?"

  "We were talking about you."

  I leaned in, kissing away her frown. "We were."